Mine Forever
by Kksaunt1
Summary: Caleb and Amy Thornton are newlyweds living in Union City for a year and then on to The Academy. Jack, Elizabeth, and family are still in Harris Town living their lives...
1. Chapter 1

The train pulled into the station in Union City the morning after they left their families behind with all that was familiar, except each other, of course.

He was ready. He was young but he was the head of their family and it was a huge responsibility, one he took seriously.

"Ames, we're here," he said, nudging her awake.

"Hmm?" She grabbed his hand and burrowed deeper into the comfortable pocket his shoulder created.

"We're here." He kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand.

"Oh, ok." She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

Caleb stood when the train pulled to a stop. He looked out the window for a man that would be Patrick O'Reilly, his dad's acquaintance from years before. He saw quite a few Mounties, it was the city after all. However, one Mountie was also searching and Caleb knew it must be him.

As they stepped off the train, hand in hand, Patrick's face lit up. "Caleb Thornton?"

"Constable O'Reilly?"

"Yes, good to see you, son. Jack's written me so much about you."

"You too, sir. This is my wife, Amy. Amy, this is Patrick O'Reilly."

"Ma'am. Good to meet you. Let's find your luggage and be on our way."

It took about thirty minutes, but their trunk and bags were finally located and then placed in Patrick's wagon and then they were on their way.

"Constable, I want to thank you for renting your extra room to us. We really appreciate it."

"My pleasure, Mrs. Thornton. You are actually doing us a favor. My wife Sarah often gets lonely when I go on assignment, even with our children at home. So not only do you give us a bit more money, you also will be a welcome addition to our household."

"You can call me Amy, Constable."

"Yes, Amy. You may call me Patrick." She nodded, smiling at him.

A few moments later, Patrick pulled the wagon into the yard of a modest home, just outside town. "Here we are." He jumped down and immediately started unloading their belongings. Caleb also jumped down and then raised his arms to help Amy down. He set her gently on the ground, his hands lingering on her waist.

He leaned down and kissed her. "Welcome home, honey."

"Wherever you are, that's where my home is, Caleb." He kissed her once more and then walked behind the wagon to help Patrick.

Amy did what she could, but mostly, she just followed the men into the house.

"Amy, this is my dear wife, Sarah. Sarah, this is Amy Thornton."

"Amy, it's so nice to meet you. It'll be wonderful having another woman around the house to talk to." She wrapped her in a hug and Amy instantly felt comfortable.

"Thank you for having us, Sarah."

Sarah was younger than Amy expected. She looked about the same age as Elizabeth, where Patrick looked about ten years older than that.

"Come on, I'll show you to your room." Sarah wrapped her arm through Amy's and led her down the hall to the end. "Here we are. Feel free to decorate as much as you would like. I purposely left it a bit sparse so you can make it your own. Also, you and Caleb have your own bathroom, right here." She opened the door off the bedroom that Amy had assumed was the closet.

"Our own bathroom? Oh my." She peeked inside and smiled. There was even a bathtub.

"We were fortunate to find this house. Because it's in the city, it has electricity and running water."

A little girl, about the age of Carlie, appeared. "Mama?"

"Yes, my sweets?"

"I'm hungry. When's lunch?"

"In a bit. Now mind your manners, Fiona. Say hello to Mrs. Thornton."

"Hi," she said shyly.

"Hi, Fiona. How old are you?"

"Seven."

"My husband's sister Carlie is your age. It's nice to meet you."

She smiled up at her and then nodded, pressing closer to Sarah's leg.

"Sarah, may I ask? How many children do you have?"

"Two. We also have a son, Aiden. He's fourteen."

"Excuse me, ma'am," Caleb said as he helped Patrick carry in their trunk.

Sarah stepped aside and watched. Once they set the trunk down, Caleb stood next to Amy.

"Sarah, this is my husband, Caleb."

"Jack's son? So nice to finally meet you."

"You too, ma'am." He grabbed Amy's hand and squeezed.

The rest of the morning was spent unpacking and getting settled. Amy was exhausted so she decided to take a nap, which meant she slept through lunch.

"Would you like to take Amy in some lunch, Caleb?"

"Yes, ma'am. I guess the trip wore her out." Sarah prepared a tray and he took it in. He set the tray on the bedside table and sat next to her. "Ames?" He bent down to kiss her cheek. "Baby, wake up. I brought you lunch."

Her eyes opened slowly and she stared up at him. "Lunch? What time is it?" She sat up against the headboard and yawned.

"About noon. You slept a long time."

She looked over at the tray. "That smells wonderful."

He handed her the bowl of chili and a biscuit. He watched her eat and then climbed in to bed next to her. She looked at him and smiled. "What?"

"Nothing." He smiled back.

"It has to be something. You are staring at me."

"You're beautiful. I can't help it." She blushed.

"If you say so, but I know you. That smile means you have something to say."

"Well, you've been awfully tired lately."

"I have."

"And you still haven't had your monthly."

"No, I haven't."

"Do you think…..?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"We can go see a doctor. I'll go with you."

"You have things to do to get ready for school."

"Actually, school doesn't start for a few more weeks. I only have to go and check in next week. Let's go see what the doctor says."

"I don't know any doctors here. Maybe we should just wait."

"Why don't you ask Sarah who to go to?"

"Caleb, I barely know her."

"She seems nice. Anyway, we are going to be living here for the next year."

A FEW DAYS LATER

When Patrick and Caleb left for the day, Amy decided to ask Sarah about the doctor.

"Sarah?"

"Yes?"

"I need to see a doctor and I don't know anyone here. Is there someone you could recommend?"

Sarah stopped sweeping her floor. "Are you sick?"

"No, ma'am."

"I don't mean to pry…."

"You're not. I may be pregnant. I just want to know for sure."

"Oh! Wouldn't that be wonderful? I've missed having a baby around the house."

"Yes, well, I'm not sure. I have been pretty tired and I am late."

"How late?"

"Caleb and I have been married for seven weeks. I haven't had a monthly since before we got married."

"Well, sweetie. It sounds promising to me, but Dr. Henderson, at the family clinic on Main Street is my doctor. I think you'll like him."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Would you like me to go with you?"

"Caleb said he would go. He is free tomorrow."

THE NEXT MORNING

Amy stood in front of the mirror, pinning her hair back.

Caleb watched from the bed. "Trying something new?"

"Yeah. It makes me look more like a wife, older, doesn't it?" She pinned up the bottom too, wrapping it around the top, in a bun.

"I guess. I mean, I like your hair down, but it looks good this way too." He stood behind her and smiled. "Why do you want to look different?"

"I don't know. We live in the city now. I feel like certain things are expected." She slipped her blouse on over her shoulders and buttoned it and then tucked it in.

"I think that you look perfect the way you are. You don't need to change anything." She turned around and looked at him.

"I don't want people to think I'm not good enough."

"If people think that, they aren't worthy of your time."

She turned and hugged him. "I hope that I'm pregnant, Caleb. I really want it."

"Me too."

DR. HENDERSON'S OFFICE

After her examination, Amy and Caleb sat in the doctors office waiting for him. He walked in and took a seat.

"Mr. and Mrs. Thornton, congratulations. You are going to have a baby."

Amy immediately started crying and Caleb put his arm around her. "Thank you, doctor."

"You are most welcome. From what you have told me, you are due mid to late April."

"That's what I calculated too," Amy admitted, as she wiped her tears. He looked at her, a question on his face. "I am a midwife. I learned how to calculate due dates from the doctor I did my internship with."

He nodded. "I happen to need a midwife right now in my practice. You wouldn't be looking for work, would you?"

She looked at Caleb. He raised his eyebrows. "I am, actually. I can only work a few days a week though. Like maybe three."

"Ok, that is perfect. What is your doctor's name that you worked under? I'd like to contact him."

"Dr. Turner, Harris Town."

Just like that, Amy was a new mother and had secured a part time job. As they started to walk back home, Caleb led her to a café that he knew downtown.

"Let's get lunch. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I am." He led her into the café he and his friends frequented during his previous year at school.

They found a small table by the window.

"Caleb! It's good to see you, how was your summer?" A girl, the waitress, walked over and rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Hi, Debbie. My summer was great. This is my wife, Amy."

She dropped her hand from his shoulder and smiled. "Wife? Wow. Ok. Nice to meet you, Amy. Caleb used to come in here to study after classes."

Amy smiled and took his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Do you know what you would like?"

"I'll take the tomato soup," Amy answered.

"Do you want your usual, Caleb?"

"Yes, please." Debbie nodded and walked away.

"You came here often enough that you have a usual?"

"I guess." She moved so she was sitting next to him, instead of across from him.

"What's your usual, sweetie?" She leaned against him and rested her hand on his thigh.

"Roast beef sandwich and chicken soup."

"Sounds good." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and smiled.

"I love you, Ames."

"I love you too."

HARRIS TOWN, THE THORNTON HOUSE

Maddie lay awake next to Em. It had been two weeks since Nate almost kissed her. She should feel guilty because she wanted him to so badly, but guilt was the opposite of what she was feeling. Unfortunately, Mr. Carlin and Nate had gone on a short trip to see about getting more cattle for the ranch so Maddie hadn't seen him for a few days.

"Maddie? Why are you awake? It's so early." Em moved closer to her and put her head on Maddie's shoulder.

"I can't sleep. I have too many things going through my head."

"Things like Nate?"

Maddie smiled. "Yeah. He's supposed to come back today."

"Are you going to see him?"

"I hope so. I'll be at the boarding house all day though. Grandma's teaching me about the ledgers."

"Ugh. Math. I hate math."

"I love it. I can't wait to learn."

"You're so weird."

"Yeah, but you love me anyway."

"I do."

Maddie also had an appointment to see Mrs. Richards about making her a dress for the dance. She was spending her own money that she earned working at the boarding house and she was so excited.

"I'm going to get dressed and start breakfast. Wanna help?"

"No, I'll stay in bed." Maddie laughed. She figured she would.

"I'll help you Bug." Carlie still called her Bug. That's all she knew her as, for her whole life, so Maddie didn't mind.

"Ok, let's go."

LATER, THE BOARDING HOUSE

Maddie was at the table, studying the ledgers Charlotte had given her. She was positive she knew how they worked. It was pretty simple credits and debits.

Nate walked in and smiled, watching his beautiful Maddie pouring over a book at the table. He loved the way she bit her bottom lip when she was thinking about something.

"Hey," he whispered.

"You're back." She flashed him a dimple filled grin that made his heart beat faster.

"Miss me?" That was bold of him, but he couldn't help asking to get her reaction.

She looked down, her cheeks turning pink. "Maybe."

"I'll take that as a yes." He pulled the chair out next to her, moving it closer.

"Whatcha working on?"

"Bookkeeping."

"Ugh, I hate math."

"I don't."

He took her hand and moved his fingers in between hers. "I missed you."

She looked at his adorable face, his blue eyes and blonde hair. She noticed he had a tiny scar above his left eye and then her gaze settled on his lips and before she knew it, he was leaning in. "I'm sorry," she blurted. "We can't. I promised."

"Promised who?"

"My dad. He thinks we're too young. The only way I could convince him to let me see you was to promise no kissing."

"For how long?"

"I don't know." He sat back, but still held her hand.

"Ok."

"Thank you for understanding, Nate."

"I don't, but I respect that you made a promise and want to keep it."

She smiled and then leaned over to kiss his cheek. The move surprised both of them but it would have to do, for a time.

UNION CITY, O'REILLY HOUSE, two weeks later

Amy felt fortunate to be about eight weeks pregnant and not have morning sickness yet. She tried to keep herself hydrated and eat as much as she could, hoping to avoid it.

Sarah was thrilled Amy was pregnant. She had wanted another child herself, but she had come to terms with only having two. This baby would be like a niece or nephew and she was excited to help in any way she could.

"I think I may have some baby clothes in the trunk in my room. You're welcome to them."

"I really appreciate that, Sarah. Do you know how to knit?"

"I do."

"Would you teach me? I would love to make a blanket or two and some other things."

"Absolutely. We can start tonight, if you'd like."

"Can we do it tomorrow after work? Caleb and I have a date tonight."

"Sure thing. Where is he taking you?"

"The Blue Bird Café. We love that place. He used to go there and study after class and then we went after we found out about the baby. Now, it's kind of like our place."

"I love that idea. Dating my husband. It's not something Patrick and I have done for a long time." Sarah stepped away, a thoughtful look on her face.

"Caleb and I can stay with the kids one night so you and Patrick can go out. How does that sound?"

"No, dear. No need. Thank you for the offer, though."

"Sarah, I'm offering. I can see how much you want to spend time with him. I insist." Sarah looked at her young friend. She couldn't deny the want she had to be with Patrick alone. It had been a long time.

"Ok then. I'll talk to Patrick."

HARRIS TOWN, THE THORNTON HOUSE

Bill sat watching his grandchildren play in the living room. "Papa? Up?" J.T. asked as he walked over and held his arms out.

"Hi, Jay. What do you have there? A block?"

"Ya. Bock." When he picked him up, he felt a sharp pain in his arm that almost made him drop the boy. He groaned and rubbed his arm and shoulder.

"Pop? You ok?" Jack asked as he walked in the room. "You look pale."

"Yeah. Just tired. Where's your Mom? I think it's time to go." He placed J.T. on the couch and stood up, feeling a horrible, crushing pain in his chest, radiating down his arm.

"Pop!" Jack rushed to his side, helping him sit back down so he didn't fall. "Mom, Elizabeth!" he yelled. They came rushing in the room.

"Maddie! Take the kids upstairs, please," Elizabeth instructed. She handed J.T. to her and ushered Carlie upstairs.

Charlotte sat down placing Bill's head in her lap. "Bill, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, but ….I can't breathe. My chest…."

Jack stood frozen, watching Bill fading. "I'll get the doctor," Elizabeth said.

"No, no need. I won't make it. It's my heart. It's only….a matter of time."

"Nonsense, Bill. You're strong as an ox," Charlotte said, although doubting it as she watched him writhing in pain.

"Charlotte….listen to me, Sweetheart."

She looked down at him, stroking his face and feeling like she had done this before. She had, with Tom. She was losing her husband, again. "No, Bill Avery. I will not let you leave me! Do you hear me?" She started sobbing and kissing his forehead.

"Shhh..Charlotte. I love you so much." He closed his eyes and then opened them again. He reached up and touched her face, his thumb tracing her lips. She bent down and kissed him for a long moment, saying goodbye.

"Please don't go. I need you," she pleaded.

"I love you, Char."

He then held out his hand and grabbed Jack, pulling him close. "I love you, son. I am so proud of you."

Jack was barely holding it together and Elizabeth was sobbing on the chair next to the couch.

"We love you, please don't give up," Jack said, his own voice breaking.

It was too late, though. As quick as Jack had said the words, he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2 - Lost

****Thank you all for your reviews of chapter 1. I understand that Bill dying was difficult to read, but it, in combination with the news of a baby for Amy and Caleb, is meant to show the circle of life. I hope you all will stay with me for this story. Lots of things, including more twists, coming up in the entire Thornton family life, including extended family. #heartieshugs – Jess****

Maddie was struggling. After Mama had brought all the kids into her bedroom and let them know Papa had died, Maddie kept busy. If she hadn't, she might have lost her mind. Thank goodness for J.T. and the boarding house work.

That morning was the funeral. It had been three days and it was still unbelievable that he was gone. In Maddie's head, he was going to walk through the door at any moment and give her a hug, like nothing had happened.

Maddie and J.T. were at the boarding house helping Grandma. Thankfully they only had themselves as residents so there were no guests to worry about.

Maddie grabbed J.T. and took him upstairs to check on her.

"Grandma?" She knocked and peeked in the door. She was sitting against the headboard, holding a pillow, tears running down her face. Maddie tried to ignore the crying so she wouldn't break down too. She needed to be strong.

"Mama?" J.T. said, noticing Grandma was sad.

"Shhh," Maddie told him.

"No, Me Me!" He pointed at Charlotte and reached for her.

Charlotte put the pillow aside and took the boy, holding him close.

"Maddie, come here." She moved over on the bed so she could sit.

"Grandma. We have to go soon. You need to get ready."

Maddie, herself, was ready, wearing a black dress she borrowed from Penny. It fit her well. J.T. was not going because Penny offered to watch him and Abbie while the family went to the funeral.

"I'm not ready. I can't do this." Charlotte snuggled J.T. and rubbed his back as he relaxed.

"You can do it. I'll help you."

"No. I'm not going."

Maddie didn't know what to do or how to convince her Grandma to do probably the hardest thing she would ever have to do for the rest of her life.

Why was she doing this and not Caleb or her mom? Where was her dad? She was not good at handling emotion.

She heard a knock on the door. "Come in," she said quietly.

Elizabeth walked in. "Mom? You need to get ready now. I'll take J.T. Penny is downstairs to take him and Abbie."

"Elizabeth, no…I can't do this. Please go without me."

Elizabeth looked at Maddie and Maddie grabbed J.T. and left the room.

Elizabeth sat next to Charlotte and grabbed her hand. "Mom, this is not going to be easy, but I know if you don't go, you'll end up regretting it. You need to say goodbye."

"He died in my arms! I said goodbye." Her Thornton stubbornness was showing.

"I will help you."

DOWNSTAIRS

Maddie waited for them in the parlor but decided, instead of being late, she would go. As hard as it would be, she needed to say goodbye.

As she walked to the church, she refused to let herself dwell on what was about to happen. She looked at the trees and listened to the birds sing as she walked. She hadn't even heard Nate following her. He followed her into the church and sat next to her and Em, Drew, and Will.

She looked over at him, a sad expression in her beautiful blue eyes. He looked back and grabbed her hand, showing his support.

"Thank you," she whispered.

It was what she needed and he was happy to help, if only for an hour or two.

Jack walked over to them. "Maddie, where's your mom?"

"She's with Grandma."

"Are they on their way?"

"Grandma is really upset. She said she can't do this again."

Jack knew it must be difficult. Burying two husbands was unimaginable. He had never seen her like she was, while Bill was dying in her arms, sobbing, weak. That was the opposite of how she had always been. The love they felt for each other was very obvious and he couldn't imagine the grief.

Those things being true, she needed closure, or she would struggle terribly.

Caleb and Amy walked into the church, hand in hand and took a seat behind the kids. They arrived the day before and would leave on the afternoon stage. Caleb needed to get back to start classes and Amy had her job to think about.

"Where's Grandma?" Caleb asked.

"She doesn't want to come, Caleb. Mom's with her." Maddie turned and looked at Amy. Amy had subconsciously placed her free hand over her tummy, a very motherly gesture.

"Amy, are you, pregnant?" Maddie asked.

"Can we talk later?" Amy and Caleb hadn't told anyone, except Patrick and Sarah. They were going to wait until they visited at Christmas and surprise everyone.

"Sure," Maddie said, a very slight smile on her face.

Just then, the Pastor walked to the front to begin the service.

"Today we are here to remember the life and love of a good man, Bill Avery…"

Elizabeth led Charlotte into the church and sat near the back.

"Bill was loved by his large family of children and grandchildren, survived by his wife, two step-sons, two daughters-in-law, and eleven grandchildren."

Charlotte somehow made it through the service. When it was time to bury him, she lost it. There was no way she could watch while they put her husband in the ground.

Caleb sensed her hesitation. He'd always been good at that. He walked over to her, sitting down in the pew next to her. "Grandma?"

"Caleb, I can't do it. If you think you can convince me to go to that cemetery and watch as they bury him, you are mistaken."

"Don't you need to say goodbye?"

"I did. He died in my arms and I kissed him and…." She couldn't finish through her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried. "I did say goodbye, Caleb and I can't watch him vanish forever. I can't. I need to go home."

She kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, Grandma." Caleb stayed in the pew and let himself be sad. Amy walked over and joined him, taking his hand.

"Its time, sweetie."

He looked at her, tears rolling down his cheeks. She kissed him and wrapped her arms around him for a moment. "I'm glad you're here with me," he told her.

"Of course I am. Where else would I be?"

"That's my point. You're with me. Thank you for being here."

"You don't need to thank me. I promised I would be with you, for better or worse. I won't break that promise." He kissed her forehead.

"Let's tell Grandma, about the baby. If it's a boy, I want his middle name to be William, ok?"

"Of course. Mason William Thornton. It's perfect."

After the burial, Caleb and Amy went to the boarding house to tell Charlotte about the baby. Caleb thought it might give her something to look forward to. To eventually be happy about.

They walked in and looked around for her, assuming she would be in the kitchen. She wasn't. They climbed the stairs to her room and they could hear only silence.

"Grandma?" Amy called through the door. When they didn't get a response Amy peeked inside the room. "Grandma?" Charlotte was in bed, holding a pillow. "It's time for us to go, but we want to tell you something first."

Charlotte's eyes opened and then she sat up, wiping her cheeks.

"Grandma, we want you to know that I'm pregnant. I'm due in April."

Charlotte stood up and hugged Amy. "I'm happy for you. Congratulations, both of you."

Caleb stepped forward and touched her shoulder. "If it's a boy, his name will be Mason William." Charlotte nodded and hugged him next.

"Grandma? Will you come when its born? To Union City? We want you to be there."

"Yes, I wouldn't miss the birth of my first great-grandchild. I will be there," she promised.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Maddie sighed as she cleaned the kitchen after dinner. The last week had been incredibly difficult. With Papa dying and the funeral, and then either Dad or Mom staying with Grandma every night. The comfortable, loving environment had turned different. The kids stayed in their rooms and quietly read or played and Maddie worked at the boarding house and took care of J.T. and then went to bed.

She hadn't seen Nate since the funeral and she missed him. She had no one to talk to about her feelings because everyone was worried about everyone else. No one asked her how she was.

She heard a knock on the door so she dried her hands on her apron and walked over to open it.

"Nate?" She smiled at him and then looked down.

"These are for you," he said as he handed her a bouquet of wildflowers.

"Thank you." She took the flowers and held the door open wider for him to come in. "They're beautiful."

He followed her into the kitchen and watched as she arranged the flowers in a jar. "Maddie, how is everything?"

"I don't know, Nate. Different. Hard."

"Wanna tell me? I'm a good listener."

"I'm sure you don't want to hear my problems."

"Of course I do." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the table. "Tell me."

She looked at their hands, fingers intertwined. He moved his thumb over her thumb, relaxing her a little. "I miss him, Nate." She was embarrassed but her tears started falling and wouldn't stop. "It hurts that Grandma's alone now and everything is different. No one smiles anymore. This isn't what Papa would want. He wouldn't want us to lose our happiness, but we have."

He sat and watched her wipe her tears away. "What do your parents say?"

"We haven't talked. They're always so busy and I guess, with seven kids, one is bound to get lost in the shuffle." She stood and looked out the window.

Nate stood up and turned her toward him. He stepped forward and put his arms around her because she needed him to. She needed comfort and if she wasn't getting it from her family, he'd give it to her.

She buried her face in his shoulder and hugged him back, letting her tears continue. It felt good that someone cared. It felt good to be held by him.

The two didn't realize, but Jack was watching from the corner of the doorway. He let them hug for a moment and then he cleared his throat.

Maddie looked at him, a look of annoyance and guilt on her face. Nate stepped back, his eyes focused on the floor.

"Good to see you, Nate. I'll take it from here."

"Sir." He nodded at Jack and looked at Maddie, catching her eye.

As soon as he left, Maddie turned and wiped the already clean counter because she couldn't look at her father.

"Maddie."

"Dad, I won't apologize for hugging him. I only promised no kissing. Hugging was appropriate in this situation."

"Maddie, do you really feel like you're lost in the shuffle?" He would deal with the hugging thing later.

"Yes."

"Why?"

She took a deep breath to calm herself because she had so much emotion bottled up and she didn't want to explode. "You're gone or Mom's gone. I needed to talk to someone and you weren't here. It's been a week, Daddy, and until now, I hadn't cried. I felt like I was going to explode but you and Mom weren't here. Don't you know that I miss Papa too? I do! I miss him so much."

She started to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her to his chest. She hugged him back and soaked in his love. It felt so good to know she wasn't alone.

"Bug, I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me?" He kissed her forehead and cheeks and wiped her face. "I know you miss him. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you needed me."

"Daddy, I'm scared that everything's changing and we won't be happy again. Papa wouldn't want that."

"No, you're right. He would want us to be happy again."

They began to formulate a plan. School started again in a few days, so they needed to do something fast.

THE NEXT NIGHT, THE AVERY HOUSE

Maddie, Elizabeth, Carlie, and Em cooked while the boys helped set the table and watched the babies. They decided to have a dinner in honor of Papa Bill.

They made his favorite, chili and cornbread, and they planned to sing songs that he loved while Jack played his guitar.

Maddie told the kids to think of something funny Papa did or some story that included him that they would share while they ate cherry pie, his favorite dessert.

Maddie reached down and picked up J.T. "Ok, buddy. Let's go get Grandma."

"Yay! Mama!" He grinned causing her to smile. It was hard to be sad around J.T.

They climbed the stairs and she let J.T. "knock" on the door. "Mama!" he yelled, making her giggle.

Charlotte opened the door and looked down. "Hi there, Jay."

"Hi!" He waved at her and flashed his dimples. "Eat!"

"Its time for dinner?"

"Ya!"

Charlotte kissed her adorable grandson and then kissed Maddie for good measure. "You look lovely, Maddie. Is Nate joining us tonight?"

Maddie blushed and nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. I have a feeling one day, he will be a part of this family, so might as well start now."

"Grandma. I'm only thirteen."

"And a half. I was only two years older than you when Tom proposed to me."

"No one is proposing." They hadn't even kissed yet. What if he hated kissing her? He wouldn't propose if he couldn't stand kissing her.

"Give him time. He'd be crazy not to."

AFTER DINNER, ON THE PORCH

Nate and Maddie sat on the porch, swinging, Maddie holding a very sleepy J.T.

"I'm glad you came tonight."

"Thank you for inviting me, Maddie."

"I wanted to thank you for yesterday. For the hug. I really needed that."

He touched her hand and tickled her palm. "You're welcome. I hate to see you upset."

J.T. sighed deeply and moved to her other shoulder. "I should take him home. Save me a seat at school tomorrow?"

"Yes. Right next to me."

They stood and she wrapped her free arm around his neck briefly. When she moved back he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Night Maddie."

"Night Nate." He watched her walk away, cuddling Jay.

All of the sudden he could picture his future and it included Maddie, and that realization, made him happy.

UNION CITY

Caleb woke up early to the smells of bacon and fresh bread, but to the sound of Amy sick in the bathroom. He hopped out of bed and knocked on the door.

"Ames?" Before she answered she vomited again and then settled against the side of the bathtub. "Honey? You ok?"

"I'll be fine. You need to eat so you can get to class."

"What about you?" He grabbed a damp cloth and wiped her face and neck with it.

"Food is the last thing I want right now, sweetie." He kissed her forehead.

"Do you need help going back to bed?"

"No. I'll be ok in a few moments. Go. You don't want to be late."

"I love you. I'll check on you before I leave."

"I love you back."

Caleb didn't feel right about leaving her sick but it was his first day of class.

"Sarah?"

"Caleb, good morning. Where's your lovely Amy?"

"She's sick this morning."

"Oh, and this bacon is probably making it worse. I'll remember that for future breakfasts." She started to take the plate.

"I'll eat it!" he said stopping her.

"Oh! Yes of course you will." They both laughed.

"Sarah?"

"Yes, I will keep an eye on Amy. Don't worry."

"Thank you. I only have two classes so I'll be home around two o'clock."

HARRIS TOWN

Jack stood back with Kevin and Travis, admiring his new home. It was finished. Well almost. It was finished enough to move in.

"It's a fine house Jack. You did a wonderful job," Travis told him.

"I really appreciate your help. Both of you."

"Glad to do it," Kevin responded. "When's moving day?"

"This weekend."

"Isn't this weekend the dance?"

"Yes, it is. I don't think I'm going though," Jack muttered.

"Really? I'm surprised. I figured you and Elizabeth would be going. I was going to offer to watch the kids for you," Travis told him. "Leesa would love to help."

"No need. Thank you though." Jack wasn't in the mood for a dance. He had found himself falling into his depression hole again. Losing Bill crushed him. He had had Bill as his father longer than he had had his biological one and it was hard watching the children miss him and Elizabeth and especially his Mom. "I'm going to brush the horses down."

He started to walk off but Kevin stopped him.

"Already done. You go home, Jack."

"I've got work to do."

"No you don't. Jack you've been through a lot. Go be with your family."

So, Jack walked home. When he arrived a half hour later, he sat on the porch of his home and listened to the quiet.

"Daddy! You're home," Carlie acknowledged.

"Yes, I am."

She climbed up next to him and grabbed his hand. "I'm glad you're home, Daddy."

"Me too, sweetie." The words came out of his mouth but didn't quite come from his heart.

The boys brought their jugs of fresh milk up on the porch. "Hi, Dad."

"Hi, boys." They stared at him for a moment and then decided to go inside so they wouldn't miss dinner.

He listened and heard Abbie crying and then a moment later, J.T. started too.

"Jack, can you take the babies please? I'm trying to finish dinner and Maddie isn't home yet."

He sighed and walked in the house. "Dada! Up?" J.T. Whined.

He bent down to pick him up, prompting J.T. to wrap his arms around Jack's neck and snuggle. Then he scooped Abbie up in his other arm and sat on the couch. Abbie squirmed and continued fussing so Jack put J.T. down on the couch and concentrated on Abbie for a moment. He rocked back and forth and rubbed her back.

Maddie walked in and smiled at J.T.

"Where were you?" Jack questioned.

"I was at the boarding house." She went everyday after school, so she wasn't sure why he was asking.

"You should come home after school Maddie."

"Dad, I study with Nate after school."

"Yeah. I think you're seeing too much of him."

"What?" He was acting very unlike her father.

"After school, I want you home."

"Dad…"

"Don't argue, Maddie. Just do as I say."

"Yes, sir." She fought her tears and took J.T. out of the room.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" Elizabeth asked when she saw Maddie's face.

"Nothing, I'm sorry I'm late. It won't happen again."

"You're not late, baby." Maddie nodded and slipped J.T. into his high chair. "Hey, where did the tears come from?"

"Its ok, I'm fine." Elizabeth dried her hands and hugged her daughter who was almost as tall as she was now.

"Did you have a fight with Nate?" Maddie shook her head and wiped her eyes. At the mention of Nate, she cried harder, knowing she wouldn't be able to see him as much anymore. She just didn't understand.

Jack walked in with a sleeping Abbie. Maddie refused to look at him and Elizabeth caught the pain on her face and his glance at Maddie.

"I'm not feeling well, may I be excused?"

"Sure, sweetie. I'll check on you in a bit." Maddie kissed J.T. and then walked upstairs.

UPSTAIRS, GIRLS ROOM

"Maddie? What's wrong?" Em asked, her voice full of concern. Maddie shook her head and climbed into bed, facing the wall. "Hey, you can tell me."

"He said I am seeing too much of Nate and told me I have to come home after school. I don't understand! It's not fair when I didn't do anything wrong."

"At least you'll see him at school."

Maddie wiped her eyes and sighed. Em was right but it wasn't the same. She had never seen her father like he'd been since Papa died. At first he was sad but attentive. Now, he didn't smile and any little thing would make him overreact.

Em scooted over next to her and wrapped her arms around her waist. Em really wanted to ask her dad what was going on, but she didn't feel like getting yelled at. For now, she would comfort Maddie and see what happens.


	3. Chapter 3 - Patience is a Virtue

****Hi everyone! I appreciate all your reviews. I also want to say that it's been interesting writing Jack as a depressed person. Personally, I've been in that state and others I know have been too. Patience is needed, and sometimes, when we're depressed, we act in a way that others don't understand. So let's remember to be kind and patient to others. I love to know your opinions and feel free to disagree with my story lines but please be nice. That being said, constructive criticism is always appreciated! #heartieshugs****

"Jack what is going on?" Elizabeth asked as they were getting ready for bed.

"Nothing."

"Listen, I know it's hard without Pop, I miss him too, but you are pushing us away again. Let me in, honey. We can get through it together."

"I'm not pushing." He knew he was.

"You are so stubborn. What happened with you and Maddie?"

"Nothing happened."

"I know something did. Did you see her face?"

Jack left the room and Elizabeth sighed. She would give him until morning and then try again.

Elizabeth walked down the hall to check on the girls. They seemed to be asleep until Maddie whispered, "Mama?"

She slid out of bed and stood up. "Honey, what happened?" Elizabeth took her hand and led her to her room to talk.

They sat on the bed. "Ok, sweetheart."

"He said I'm to come home after school from now on. I'm seeing too much of Nate. I don't understand why, Ma. I already promised no kissing and we haven't."

"Ok, you may not like this, but I need to tell you. Your dad has every right to limit how much you see Nate."

"But…"

"Let me finish, Maddie. He is your father and his heart is in the right place. He wants to protect you. Keep in mind you are thirteen and, at the earliest, you have three years before you can get married."

"We aren't doing anything wrong, Mama. I told Nate no kissing and he agreed to wait."

"I'm glad you were honest and that you are keeping your promise but if you keep seeing him as much as you are, it will get much harder to keep that promise."

"It is hard." Her cheeks turned pink.

"I know. I'll suggest to your father that he let you keep seeing him as long as you have someone else with you. I can't promise and if he says no, that's final, ok, babe?"

"Yes, Mama."

"Ok, now head to bed. Oh, and be patient with your dad. He misses Pop very much. He's having a hard time."

"Night, Mama. Love you."

"To the moon and back."

UNION CITY

Caleb held Amy close as he tried to sleep. She was out almost the moment her head hit the pillow.

It was doing him no good at all to toss and turn, so he got up and made some tea. He didn't know what was bothering him but something was making him uneasy. He sat at the table and sipped the tea, a nice cinnamon flavor. It reminded him of fall and chilly weather.

"Caleb?"

"Ames. What are you doing up?" She sat next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder, yawning.

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"I can't sleep."

"What are you worried about?"

"I don't know, Ames. Something is making me uneasy. I don't know what, but I can't shut my mind off."

"How was class today?" She decided to change the subject to see if she could figure it out.

"Fine. We are doing a group project."

"Yeah? How big is your group?" She yawned again.

"There are four. A guy and two girls."

"Hmm," she responded, starting to fall asleep.

"Hmmm what?"

She didn't respond, she just sighed and quietly snored. He chuckled and marveled at how much he loved her. It was amazing and the fact that his son or daughter was growing inside of his lovely wife, baffled him even more. He found himself wishing it was Christmas so they could be home and telling their news to their families. He missed them terribly but it was gradually getting easier with each passing day.

So, he was overwhelmed and homesick. No wonder he couldn't sleep.

THREE DAYS LATER, HARRIS TOWN

"We're moving in two days, everyone."

"Jack, why so soon?"

"The house is finished, so it's time to move."

Elizabeth watched as he continued eating as if he hadn't just suggested to her that their family of nine people, seven of which were children, needed to be ready to move.

She shook her head but kept her mouth shut. Thankfully, over the years, they had bought trunks for the children. Maddie, Emmy, and Carlie shared. The twins and J.T. shared and Elizabeth, Jack, and Abbie shared. Their clothes and small items would be easy to move.

"We need boxes for the kitchen. Em and Maddie, can you take the twins and go see if Uncle Travis has any boxes at the store, please?"

"Sure, Mama," Maddie answered. "Come on, let's go." Elizabeth watched as they left the house as they were asked.

"Jack? How long has the house been finished?"

"Since about Sunday."

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have been all packed by now. Now, we have to rush around to move and hope we get it all done by the dance."

He didn't have an answer, so he just kept eating. She sighed and left the room, leaving Carlie and J.T. with him. "If you could give them baths, that'd be great," she called as she walked away.

The rest of the evening, Elizabeth packed up most of the kitchen and the small things in the living room, with a break in between to feed Abbie. She found herself wishing she had another trunk for books. She'd accumulated a lot of them over the years and wasn't leaving them behind.

Jack walked into the living room at around midnight. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to pack."

"Its late."

"Yes, well, I have one more day left to pack and since I don't have much help, I need to work as long as possible." She knew she was being testy but she was tired and overwhelmed and he didn't seem to care one way or another.

"Aren't you coming to bed?"

"No. I'll think I'll stay down here."

"But we never sleep apart."

"I can think of a few occasions," she mentioned as she started filling another box.

"So you're mad?"

"You could say that."

THE NEXT EVENING, UNION CITY

Patrick and Sarah walked down the sidewalk to the Blue Bird café, suggested by Amy and Caleb. Sarah had to talk Patrick into it, but once she did, he pulled out all the stops. He decided courting Sarah had been a wonderful part of his life so why not do it again.

Before they left the house, he had even given her flowers, something he had neglected doing for a long time, he was ashamed to admit.

Just as they reached the café, Sarah slipped her hand from his elbow and grabbed his hand. He turned and winked at her and then proudly led her in the door.

After they took a table in the back corner, lit by two candles and a small vase of flowers, he grabbed her hand again and gazed into her eyes.

"Sweetheart, you look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you, Patrick. You look almost too handsome in that suit."

"Too handsome?"

"When you walked out tonight wearing it, I had to remember to breathe." He lifted her hand to his lips, softly kissing it.

"We haven't courted in awhile. I was worried I had forgotten how," he admitted with a teasing tone in his voice.

"You're doing just fine," she assured him. "In fact, I don't remember you being quite so….bold, when we were courting before." His eyes twinkled in the candlelight.

"I needed to be careful about your reputation. Now, I feel that I am allowed certain liberties as your husband."

"Patrick!" she quietly scolded.

"Easy, dear. Nothing scandalous, just admitting that this time it's different."

"I suppose it is." She shook her head and laughed.

They ordered a few moments later and then Patrick moved to her side of the table.

"What are you doing on my side, honey?" she asked him.

"I wanted to be closer. It's easier to do this," he paused to kiss her temple, "If I'm on this side." His kiss gave her goosebumps.

"We're in public, love." She looked around but no one seemed to pay them any attention.

"Yes, we are." His arm that was around her shoulder, drew her closer as he dragged his fingertips up and down. "You smell good," he whispered in her ear.

She turned slightly and grabbed his chin, kissing him, not caring anymore where they were. "I love you with all of my heart Patrick O'Reilly."

"I love you, dear one." She loved it when he called her that. Her heart melted into a puddle.

BACK AT THE O'REILLY HOUSE

Aiden had put himself to bed after dinner. Fiona was fighting the process, apparently missing her mom and dad.

"Can you read me another story, Amy? Please?"

"I've read three already. It's late now. Time for sleep." Amy stood up and turned off her lamp, leaving her door slightly ajar.

Amy walked into the kitchen, surprised to find Caleb doing the dishes. "Want some help, sweetie?"

"No, I'll do them. You can keep me company though."

She stood next to him, her arm around his waist and her head resting on his shoulder.

"You're making it kind of difficult, honey, to do this."

"Hmm..well maybe you should take a break."

"And do what?"

"I'll show you." She dried his hands, led him to a chair, and then sat on his lap.

"What are you up to, Mrs. Thornton?"

"Mm…just getting your lips within kissing range. They are awfully hard to reach when we're standing up."

"Oh ok. Just checking." He smiled and then leaned over to kiss her. "You taste like blackberries," he mumbled and then kissed her again. "My favorite."

HARRIS TOWN, THE THORNTON HOUSE

Elizabeth looked around, sighing with relief. The packing was done, except for what they would need for breakfast the next morning. Unfortunately, breakfast was a mere six hours away. She looked up when she heard Abbie cry so she made her way upstairs to change her.

As she walked in, she found Jack changing her himself.

She looked at him and then changed into her nightgown.

"So are you sleeping in here tonight?" he asked.

"That's the plan."

"I can't figure out why you're mad."

"I can't figure out why you are pushing us away again. You promised you would try never to do that, and yet, here we are."

"You're the one who slept downstairs."

"If I had slept with you, what would have changed, Jack. Honestly?"

"Nothing. He's still gone." That was the gist of it.

"Yes, Jack. Pop died and we all miss him terribly. Why does that mean that you have to be unhappy constantly and make unnecessary decisions about your children and ignore me?"

"You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't. I never will if you won't let me in." She climbed under the covers and turned over.

A few hours later, Jack sat up and looked at his wife, sleeping with her back toward him. All of the sudden he needed to kiss her, badly. Their fight had gone on too long.

He laid down and moved up against her, loving the feel of her warm, soft body against his. He wrapped his arm around her waist and sighed.

In her sleep, she grabbed his arm and pulled him as close as possible. "Jack?" She turned over and squinted her eyes to focus. He was close.

"I love you. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. I need you."

She sighed in relief and wrapped herself around him. "I'm here. I never went anywhere. Just tell me what's going on, sweetie."

He leaned his forehead against hers and gave a shuddering breath. "I miss him, Elizabeth. He believed in me... and he was…."

"Wonderful," she finished for him. "He was a good father, to both of us and he loved you so much, babe." She kissed him and buried her face in his neck, crying with him.

"I think it's worse to lose him now…worse than before, with my real father. I knew Pop longer and…I will always remember him and how he was with our kids and my mom."

"Yeah," she agreed. She stared into his eyes and saw the same longing she felt in her heart. He had slipped away from her for a long couple weeks and it hurt.

As if reading her mind, he pulled her closer, slipping his fingers deep in her hair, and began kissing her, conveying how much he missed her.

A few long moments later, she pulled back to breathe. "Oh, I missed you, Jack."

"I missed you too."

THE NEXT MORNING

It was moving day and Elizabeth didn't feel like it. She was warm and comfortable and finally back in Jack's arms, which, at the moment, held her securely against his chest. She listened as the older kids ate breakfast downstairs, compliments of Maddie, she assumed.

Maybe if she wished hard enough, they could sleep for a bit longer. Abbie let out a squawk and J.T. stood up in his crib and giggled. "Hi, Mama!"

She pulled her blanket over her head. "Boo, Mama!" J.T. yelled, giggling again.

She laughed. That boy was the sunshine on a rainy day, in her book. He was adorable and she loved him completely. She unwrapped Jack's arms, eliciting a groan from him, and sat up.

"Mama! Egg!"

"Jack, get up, babe," she said.

"Its Saturday."

"Very good, but thanks to someone we all know and love, it's moving day and I only have two arms."

She changed J.T. and set him on the floor. He walked over to Jack. "Hi, Dada!"

"Hi, buddy." He picked him up and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Jay."

"Dada," he mumbled as he hugged him.

Elizabeth settled in the rocking chair and fed Abbie, humming to her.

"I'm going to take Jay downstairs, honey."

"Egg!" he shouted.

"Yes, for an egg." J.T. clapped and grinned, excited for his breakfast.

When they arrived in the kitchen, Jack put J.T. in his chair and smiled at his older children.

"Everyone?" They all stopped talking and looked up at him. "I just want to say I'm sorry to all of you for how I've been the last few weeks since Papa died. I miss him a lot and I let that take over instead of moving forward with all of you."

"Are you better now, Daddy?" Carlie asked, her mouth full of biscuit.

"Car, manners," Maddie reminded.

"I will be. I can promise you I will try hard to be happier."

Maddie put Jay's egg on his plate and turned to get Jack a plate. She gave him two biscuits, eggs, and sausage and set it down in front of him without a word.

"Thank you, Maddie." Her eyes met his and she nodded.

He watched her walk away and followed her. "Honey? Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," she said quietly. He took her hand and led her into the living room.

"Thank you for making breakfast."

"You're welcome."

He put his hands on her shoulders, trying to meet her eyes. "Maddie." Her eyes flicked to his, filling with tears. "I love you." She took a shuddering breath and nodded. "I know it's hard, and you might not believe me, but I only want what's best for you."

"What if Nate is what's best for me?" That statement worried him.

"Then time will tell. I just want you to slow down." She nodded again. "In the mean time, you can see him if someone else is with you. I don't care who, Em, Carlie, your brothers, Grandma, me or your mom. Someone needs to be there too." Maddie forced herself not to protest, but to accept it, as her mom had told her. "You agree?"

"Yes, sir." She started to turn to walk away, but he caught her. He drew her into his arms, kissing her forehead.

"Love you," he reminded her.

"To the moon and back, Dad." She kissed his cheek and then left the room to clean up the kitchen.

Travis, Kevin, Jack, and Mike all worked hard loading their wagons with beds and furniture while the women loaded another wagon with boxes, trunks, and smaller items.

Elizabeth entrusted the twins and Carlie with keeping track of J.T. and Abbie while everyone worked. After three trips back and forth between the houses and many hours of unpacking, everyone was exhausted but excited to go to the Sweethearts Dance.

Maddie slipped her new dress on, tied half of her dark curly hair back with a white ribbon, and dabbed a bit of vanilla lotion behind her ears.

"You look beautiful, Maddie," Em said,

"Thanks Em."

"Nate is going to be speechless."

"I hope not, since he can't dance, I told him I'd be happy just talking to him. If he's speechless, it might be boring."

Em laughed and braided her own hair. "Are you sure you don't mind me being there? Won't it be awkward? I don't want to be in the way."

"You'll never be in the way, Em. Besides, Dad won't let me go if you don't go too. I appreciate it, more than you know."

"Lets go get Mama and Carlie so we can go wait for Maggie and Kevin."

ELIZABETH'S AND JACK'S ROOM

Elizabeth finished feeding Abbie and handed her to Jack, hurrying to button up her dress.

"I wish you were coming, Jack. Something about going to a Sweethearts Dance without my sweetheart doesn't seem right."

"I just don't feel like going. Besides someone needs to stay with the kids." He stood, put Abbie in her crib, and watched her sucking on her fingers.

"Jack, Travis and Leesa said they would watch them since they aren't going. They are already at Kevin's to watch Sarah and they have Samuel too."

"Maybe next year. Have a good time, Elizabeth."

She walked over and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him softly. "I love you, sweetie." He had that perpetual sad look in his eyes.

"You look beautiful tonight, babe. I love you too."

"Mama!" Carlie yelled from outside their door.

Five minutes later, they were out the door and in the back of Kevin and Maggie's wagon.

They arrived awhile later at the area in the meadow where the men had built the dance floor. There were tables set up around the floor where people could sit and a table with sweets and drinks close by. The area was decorated with many lanterns that, along with the moon, cast a soft, romantic glow, perfect for the occasion.

Maddie immediately looked for Nate as they climbed out of the wagon, grabbing Em's hand as they walked.

"Mama, where are they going?" Carlie asked.

"I imagine, to find Nate."

"What about us?"

"You are my sweetheart for the night, babe. Let's go find a seat."

"Can I have a cookie, please?"

"Just one." Carlie ran over and picked a heart shaped cookie with pink icing.

"This one's pretty."

They found a table by Kevin and Maggie and took a seat.

The closer Nate got to the meadow, the more nervous he became. His mom had been teaching him how to dance and he felt comfortable with her, but the thought of messing up and stepping on Maddie's toes made him want to forget he knew anything.

He walked up slowly, catching a glimpse of her. Good grief, she was beautiful in the moonlight. He watched her laughing with Em, oblivious that he was there.

She looked up, searching, and then she caught his eye, a smile slowly building, making her dimples more visible. She waved and he walked over.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Hi, Maddie. You look very nice. Both of you," he said to her and Em.

Em blushed and nodded back.

The music started and Nate gave a quick prayer of thanks that it wasn't a slow song. "Lets find a table," he suggested. He offered his arm to Maddie and they walked over to the opposite side of the floor that Elizabeth was on to sit.

The three of them chatted for awhile. For the first two slow songs, Nate didn't do anything but he noticed Maddie watching the couple's dancing. When the next one started he took a deep breath and grabbed her hand. "Will you dance with me, Maddie?"

"Yes, I will." She smiled at him and followed as he led her to the floor. He slipped his arm around her waist and held her hand in his.

Maddie was amazed. "Nate Carlin, you told me you couldn't dance."

He looked down in her eyes and smiled. "I had lessons." He squeezed her hand.

"From whom?"

"My mom." The rest of the dance, they didn't speak, they just looked at each other, forgetting about the crowd of people probably watching them.

"I'm glad your dad let you come tonight," he told her as they walked off the floor.

"Me too."

"Do you mind if I ask your mom to dance?"

"You want to dance with my mom?"

"Yes, she looks lonely." Elizabeth was staring off into the distance, a sad look on her face. Maddie figured she was missing her dad.

"Sure. That's sweet of you, Nate."

Maddie sat down and smiled. "Hi, Mom."

"Hi, babe. Are you having a nice time?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Mrs. Thornton? Would you care to dance?"

"Sure, Nate." She took his arm, even though she was missing Jack and really only wanted to dance with him.

They started swaying and Elizabeth looked up at him. She could see why Maddie liked him. He was pretty cute.

"Mrs. Thornton?"

"Yes, Nate?"

"Um, Maddie's birthday is in May, right?"

"Yes it is."

"Um, I don't know how to ask what…."

"Just ask."

"I know that Maddie promised that we would go slow..and that we wouldn't kiss each other."

"Yes, she did. Have you been honoring that, Nate?"

"Yes."

"Ok."

"But, she'll be fourteen in May and I was hoping…I wanted to ask if, for her birthday…"

Elizabeth smiled at the boy. He was so nervous and she found it endearing.

"Mrs. Thornton, I want to know if it would be ok to kiss her on her birthday."

They stopped dancing for a moment. She looked at Maddie, who was watching them.

"Nate, does Maddie know what you're asking?"

"No, ma'am. I wanted to ask first and I want it to be a surprise. I respect that you and Mr. Thornton think we are going too fast and I respect Maddie. I would never do anything to put her in a position that would make her uncomfortable. As hard as it will be not to kiss her, I understand if you say no."

"Nate, I really appreciate that you asked me before you did it. That shows maturity. I know it probably wasn't easy to talk to me about it."

"No, ma'am." He blushed and looked over at Maddie. "She means a lot to me."

"I can see that and that is why I'm agreeing, but not until her birthday."

"Thank you!" Nate dropped her hand and walked back to Maddie, leaving Elizabeth standing alone on the dance floor, smiling.


	4. Chapter 4 - Mistletoe Misunderstandings

Elizabeth sat back and watched Maddie dance with Nate again. She watched their expressions and the way he held her close, but not too close. He was being respectful of her and Elizabeth liked that in a prospective future spouse for Maddie.

"May I have this dance?" a familiar voice said from behind her. She turned and butterflies showed up in her belly. He stood there, looking overly handsome, his features dark, giving her goosebumps.

"I thought you weren't coming, Mr. Thornton." She stood and walked over, taking his hand. "I'm glad you did." The song ended and a new one began. She pulled him over to the floor, leaving his cane at the table.

"What if I fall over?" he teased.

"You won't. Lean on me, sweetheart."

He slipped his arms around her waist, their foreheads touching. "I love you, Elizabeth."

"I love you." They danced, eyes only on each other, forgetting about everyone else.

After their dance, Jack looked over and saw his Mom, standing and watching everyone. He kissed Elizabeth's cheek and then walked over to his Mom.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, son. Beautiful evening."

"It is. Would you dance with me?" He held his hand out and waited, his charming dimples apparent.

"No, sweetie. I'm not really good company tonight." She still focused in the distance.

"Just one song. I'd really like to dance with you." He stood there, patiently waiting.

She slipped her hand into his and he led her to the floor. The longer they danced, the more she missed Bill. He was her sweetheart. He was supposed to be dancing with her tonight. "Jack, I appreciate what you're doing, but I need to go…"

She started walking away but he held her tight. "I love you, Mom. I know you're having a hard time, but so am I. I'm not ashamed to say that I have had moments in the past couple weeks where I thought, "I need my Mama." She looked in his eyes, loving her son at that moment, more than she thought possible.

"I need you too, Jack. I'm struggling with being alone. I've never missed someone so much, and it hurts." A tear rolled down her cheek. He didn't want to imagine how thoroughly his own heart would break if something happened to Elizabeth.

"Why don't you stay with us? At the new house. We have a room for you."

"Are you sure? I don't want to be in the way."

"Of course I'm sure. You said you don't like to be alone and in my house, that's the last thing you'll be." She smiled and hugged him.

"I would love that, Jack. Thank you."

"Come home with us tonight, and tomorrow, we'll move all your things."

When it came time to leave, Maddie noticed a renewed happiness in Nate. After he danced with her mom, he was different, in a good, but perplexing way.

"I'll see you at school on Monday?" he asked, squeezing her hand.

She nodded, wishing the night wasn't over. He reached around her, giving her a quick hug and then kissed her cheek. "Goodnight, Maddie and Em." He winked and then walked away, toward his house.

Em stepped up close, taking her best friend's arm. "Maddie, everyone's ready to go."

Maddie watched him go until she couldn't see him anymore and then smiled, walking over to the wagon where her family was waiting, grateful for such a perfect night.

THE NEXT DAY

After church, Jack, Maddie, Em, the boys, and Travis, moved Charlotte's things to one of the spare rooms in the new house.

Em helped her set up her room, noticing the wedding picture of her and Papa. "Grandma?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"How do you know when you love someone? You know, enough to marry them?"

Charlotte walked over and smiled at the picture. "With your Papa, I knew when he held my hand for the first time. We'd known each other for many years, but both of us had been married to other people. When he finally asked me to dinner and I agreed, it just felt like we needed to be together. He took my hand across the table and rubbed it with his thumb and I knew."

"That's sweet Grandma, but I don't think it's the same for everyone, is it?"

"No, I suppose not. Sometimes, like with your father, he met your Ma and he knew, from the first moment. I think with Caleb, he and Amy fell in love, being best friends first."

From talking to Maddie for countless hours about Nate, she thought her sister was well on her way to being in love.

She wondered when it would happen to her. Em never had liked a boy because there weren't any her age. Now she was twelve, and a woman, as Ma called her, even though she didn't feel like one. Em knew she wasn't a very patient person, but she hoped, a family with a twelve or thirteen year old boy would appear in Harris Town soon.

UNION CITY, THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Caleb smiled as he watched his wife of six months packing their trunk to travel home for the holiday. Every so often, she would stop and touch her tummy, feeling a kick or movement, smiling. She was very obviously pregnant and they had managed to keep the secret, except from Charlotte, so they could give their families a nice Christmas present.

Amy looked over at the bed, catching his eye. "You just going to lay there watching me? I could use your help, you know, husband."

"Sorry, I love watching you." She was beautiful already, with her shiny, long, raven black hair, creamy pale skin, and nice figure. Now, with his child inside of her, he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was the most amazingly gorgeous woman he had ever seen. And she was his.

"Caleb? What's on your mind?"

He had that look. The one she knew meant that he didn't care if it would make them late, he wanted to be close. "Caleb, please. We have no time. As much as I would like to say that we'll just catch the next train, we both know, this is the last train until after Christmas."

He stood up and got control of his thoughts, knowing she was right, as usual. "Ok, what do you need help with?"

"I packed your white dress shirt and blue suit, do you want any other dress clothes?"

"Probably should take my black pants and vest too. We will be there for two weeks, so I may need them."

"For what?"

"Church, taking my lovely wife out on a date…"

"A date? That sounds wonderful. I'll miss the Blue Bird, but the restaurant in Harris Town will be nice too."

She turned at the last moment and took her new burgundy dress, that Sarah had helped her make, out of the closet. "It will be nice for our date and Christmas Dinner."

She smiled, rubbed her tummy and shut the trunk. "Ready, Ames?"

"Yes, let's go home."

THE NEXT DAY, HARRIS TOWN

The train pulled in early the next morning. "Ames, we're home," Caleb said, kissing her forehead as she woke up.

They looked out the window and saw Charlotte waiting in the blowing snow. Their families didn't know they were coming, so Charlotte decided to pick them up and drive them to the new house to surprise them.

After they arrived, Charlotte would then go get Amy's parents and bring them over too.

"Grandma!" Amy said loudly, waving as she carefully walked over the slippery platform to hug Charlotte. "Oh, I missed you!" Amy's hormones surfaced and she burst into tears.

Charlotte found herself tearing up too as she hugged her and felt her tummy between them. "Look at you. You are so beautiful, Amy. Wait until everyone sees you."

Caleb walked up and set their trunk down so he could hug Charlotte. "Hi, Grandma."

"My little Caleb, seventeen, married, with a baby on the way. Happy Birthday, sweetie." She kissed him and then sighed. "Ok, let's go home."

THE THORNTON HOMESTEAD, T & T RANCH

"Mama! Gamma is home and she has Caleb! Caleb's home!" Carlie yelled from the living room.

Elizabeth dried her hands and ran to look out the window. "Thank goodness."

She watched as they walked up the walkway to the expansive wrap around porch Jack had built for her. Carlie threw open the door and jumped up and down.

"Caleb! You're home for Christmas? I'm so happy. I missed you so much!"

Caleb smiled at his ever energetic sister. "Hi, Carlie. I missed you too." He put the trunk inside the door and then hugged her tight.

After everyone hugged the travelers, and Amy had successfully hidden her tummy by keeping a bag in front of her the whole time, they all sat in the living room by the fire. Charlotte had slipped out to get Amy's parents and Jack who was in the barn.

"Amy, I can take your coat and bag, if you'd like," Maddie suggested.

"Thanks, but I'll keep it for now," she answered even though she was dying of heat right then.

The family chatted loudly for a few minutes until everyone was finally present and they could spill the beans.

Caleb looked at Amy. "Everyone, it's so wonderful to be home again. We missed you all," she began. "We have a present for everyone."

"We still have a week before Christmas," Carlie objected.

"Yes, but it can't wait." Amy stood up and removed her coat and handed her bag to Caleb. "Merry Christmas, everyone. We are having a baby." The entire group gasped and started talking loudly, hugging them again and all the parents crying. It was perfect.

Amy's parents and sister stayed for awhile and then went home so Amy could rest. Amy changed into her nightgown and climbed under the covers in their bed, sighing. She hadn't slept much on the train, so she was exhausted.

Caleb sat in the kitchen with his parents, holding a sleeping, almost nine month old Abbie. "She's getting so big, Ma," Caleb said. "Everyone is changing so fast."

"You've changed too, Caleb."

"How? I haven't gotten any taller."

"I don't mean the way you look, sweetie. You are older, not a child, and you are going to be a father very soon."

"Yeah, I can hardly believe it."

"You're happy. It shows on your face."

"I am, Ma. Very happy. Amy and our baby are the best things in my life. I am very grateful."

"So am I, son."

Maddie walked in with Em. "We're going now. We'll be back for dinner."

"Ok, sweetie."

Maddie and Em were on their way to get Nate to pick out a Christmas tree for the boarding house. Charlotte hadn't bothered and Maddie wanted to surprise her. She knew it would be hard around there without Papa, so she wanted to make it as nice as possible.

They spent the afternoon finding the perfect tree and decorating it in the parlor for Grandma. Maddie hoped she would like it.

Nate thought about hanging mistletoe above the doorway, but he didn't want to force anything. He and Maddie had both promised so he intended to keep it.

"Nate? Is something wrong? You're staring at me." Maddie's cheeks turned pink.

"No, nothing. Sorry about that."

Maddie was looking through a box of ornaments and found a sprig of mistletoe that Papa must have stashed. It looked real, even though it was artificial. There really wasn't a point in hanging it.

"Is that mistletoe?" Em asked.

"Yeah. Papa must have put it in the box."

"Aren't you going to hang it?"

"No, it might make Grandma upset."

Nate looked at Maddie. She looked so kissable. He shook his head and stood up. "I think we should go. It's almost time for supper."

They walked back quickly. When they got to the door, Maddie turned. "Do you want to stay for dinner, Nate?"

"Sure. I told Ma that I might, just in case you asked me."

"Good."

Dinner was loud and happy and everyone was excited to be together again. Nate didn't hold Maddie's hand, like he usually did at dinner. She looked at him, and slipped her fingers inside his, but he seemed uncomfortable. She took her hand back, deciding they could talk later.

As everyone was saying goodbye, Nate stood next to Maddie, stiff and uncomfortable. "Nate? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I need to go."

"Not so fast, Nate. Look up," Jack smirked and pointed. "Mistletoe. You have to kiss her. It's tradition."

Nate looked at Jack, alarm written all over his face. "Um, no, sir. I think it would be best if I just went home." Elizabeth nudged Jack and shook her head.

"It's tradition," he said again.

Nate stared for a moment and kissed Maddie on her cheek. "Night," he said quietly and rushed out the door.

"Daddy! I cannot believe you did that!" Maddie said angrily.

"Did what?"

Maddie walked into the kitchen and waited for everyone to leave. She was so embarrassed.

Jack walked in and looked at Maddie.

"Dad! You embarrassed him and me. I promised no kissing and he and I agreed. Why would you do something like that?"

"I just thought…I don't know. You mean you don't want to kiss him?"

"Of course I do, but not with everyone watching. Did you kiss Mama for the first time with everyone watching?"

"No. We were alone."

"I don't want my first kiss to be forced. I want it to be perfect and with just him."

"I'm sorry, Maddie. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"I'd be lucky if he ever wants to kiss me now." She looked at her father and left the room.

UPSTAIRS

"Jack Thornton! I can't believe you did that." She smacked his arm. "Why did you?"

"I don't know. I knew they wanted to kiss so I thought I'd help things along."

"I thought you made Maddie promise no kissing."

"I did, but Mistletoe is just tradition. It doesn't really count."

"Jack. Doesn't count? We conceived the twins under mistletoe. Some of our most memorable kisses started there. How can you say it doesn't count? Good grief!"

She turned over and faced the door. "He wants to kiss her on her birthday, Jack. I told him he could. He wants it to be a surprise so don't tell her."

"On her birthday?"

"Yes, she'll be fourteen so I figured she was old enough."

A WEEK LATER

Maddie sat next to Nate at their desk in school. It was awkward, to say the least. They hadn't spoken since the Mistletoe incident and now, Nate found it very uncomfortable to be with her.

At recess, Maddie took Nate down the trail behind the school, alone. "Shouldn't we wait for Em?" he asked as she dragged him by the hand.

"No, I told her I needed to talk to you."

"But we promised not to be alone."

"I know, but we have to get something out in the open and I don't want anyone else around." She smiled as she kept walking.

When they got to the stream, Maddie turned and looked at Nate. "Do you still like me, Nate?"

"Of course I do."

"We haven't spoken in a week."

"I know. After what happened, I needed time to think."

"About what?"

"Nothing. I just…we shouldn't be here alone, Maddie." He didn't want her parents to start not trusting him.

She stepped forward and grabbed both of his hands. "I'm sorry about the Mistletoe thing. I told him he shouldn't have embarrassed you like that."

"I wasn't embarrassed, Maddie."

"You weren't?"

"No. I wanted to kiss you. I've wanted to for months."

"But…."

"But not like that, in front of people. I had a plan and I didn't want you to feel like you were being forced to kiss me, to break your promise."

She stepped even closer. "The way I see it, Dad gave us permission. So, I wouldn't be breaking any promise."

He smiled and nodded, his blonde hair, falling in his face. She reached up and brushed it back, her heart racing. She looked at his lips, wondering what they would feel like pressed against hers.

He leaned down, hesitating just before they touched. "Are you sure?"

She touched his face and smiled and then stood on her toes to make contact.

It was perfect. It only lasted a moment, but it was better than she had imagined it would be. He moved his warm, soft lips ever so slightly against hers, slipping his arms around her waist.

"Oh my," she whispered, still in his arms. "Nate…"

"That was…" he started.

"Perfect," she finished.

He nodded and kissed her forehead. "We should go back." Not that she would be able to concentrate at all for the rest of the day.

As they walked she squeezed his hand. "So, what was your plan?"

"What?"

"You said you had a plan."

"I was going to kiss you on your birthday. I talked to your mom and got permission."

"You did? Oh! When you danced with her, right?"

"Yeah. I knew you made a promise and I didn't want to step over any boundaries."

"Nate, that's very sweet of you but I can't believe you asked my mom if you could kiss me."

"The important part is she said yes."

They walked into the school and stopped short, realizing they were late.

Miss Collins looked up. "Nice of you to join us, Maddie, Nate."

Em looked at them, her eyes huge.

"I'm sorry, Miss Collins. We lost track of time." Maddie blushed and sat down. The last thing they needed was Miss Collins to tell her parents.

Nate touched her hand and winked. "It's ok," he whispered.

It wasn't ok. Maddie suddenly felt guilty. She had promised no kissing and promised to have someone with them all the time. Now, if Miss Collins told her parents, she probably wouldn't be able to see Nate anymore and they wouldn't trust her. Maddie fought her tears, her eyes burning.

She couldn't lose him but she didn't know what she could do to prevent it.


	5. Chapter 5 - Guilt, Worry, Jealousy

The next few days were filled with confusion and emotion. Maddie loved that she had kissed Nate. At the same time, she felt guilty and regretted breaking her promises to the point that it was eating at her joy. She tried to keep her mouth shut but when she spoke, she either yelled or cried.

Em knew her sister. She knew that whatever had caused Maddie and Nate to be late coming back to school that day, was something big. Big enough that Maddie wouldn't even talk to her, and they talked about everything.

Tonight, Maddie was at the end of her rope. She had yelled one too many times at her brothers and had been sent upstairs to her room. Now, she sat, on the bed she shared with Em, bawling her eyes out, knowing that whichever parent chose to speak with her, would insist on knowing what had put her in such a horrible mood.

Jack tapped on the girl's room door. When he didn't receive an answer, he stuck his head in. "Maddie?"

He heard sniffling. He found her on the bed, her eyes red and swollen. "What's going on with you, Maddie?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I'm not leaving until you do, so you better change your mind quick."

Maddie could tell that her normally patient father was not going to let her out of it that easy.

Jack sat on Carlie's bed and crossed his arms, watching her.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

"For what?"

"For yelling at Drew."

"That's a start. I do expect you to apologize to him as well."

She knew that. "I know."

"So what's happened since Christmas that has put you in this mood?"

"I don't want to talk."

"I can send your mom in, if that would be easier."

"No. Please don't."

"Maddie, this is how it's going to work. Either you tell me or your mother, or you're grounded. No seeing Nate for two weeks. Obviously school, you will see him. Not afterward."

"That's not fair!"

"Yes, it is. What isn't fair, is treating your family as if you don't even like them anymore. Think about it. I will be back in an hour for your answer." He stood up and walked out, shutting the door.

Jack walked back to the kitchen shaking his head. Teenage girls baffled him when he was a teenager, but having a daughter that was one, was even more frustrating.

"What did she say?" Elizabeth asked.

"She apologized for yelling but she won't tell me what's wrong. I told her that she needs to tell us or she's grounded for two weeks. No Nate."

"I bet that went over well."

"Apparently it's not fair."

Maddie walked in to the kitchen, having decided she would tell everything. The guilt was killing her and she figured she was grounded either way.

Her parents stared at her. "Maddie?"

"I need to tell you both something."

"Ok. Let's sit," Jack suggested.

Maddie sat and didn't speak for a moment, her stomach in knots.

"Honey, just tell us."

Maddie's tears started again. "I don't want you to hate me," she managed to get out between sobs.

"Maddie, that will never happen. You know that!" Elizabeth scooted her chair closer, slipping her arm around her shoulders. "Honey, we love you, no matter what. Nothing will ever change that."

"Nate and I went for a walk at recess. I told Em to stay behind. We walked to the pond and I apologized for the Mistletoe thing."

"You went alone, Maddie?" Jack asked.

"Yes, I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to kiss him with no one around."

Elizabeth looked at Jack and smiled. "Did you kiss him, sweetie?"

"Yes, I told him that Dad basically gave us permission so I didn't think there was anything wrong with it."

"Thank you for being honest."

"I'm sorry that I broke my promises and I understand if you want to ground me. I'm sorry I've been so upset lately."

"You felt guilty," Jack affirmed.

"Yes. I am not sorry I kissed him, but we should have waited until my birthday."

"Ok, I want to clear something up, sweetheart," Jack began. "First, I hope you know that I love you, so much."

"I know, Dad."

"I think it was wrong of me to make you or Nate uncomfortable at Christmas. I'm sorry about that. I am having a hard time with you growing up. I don't know how to deal with it sometimes. When I first heard you liked Nate, I panicked and made restrictions which may have been the wrong thing to do, or maybe not. At this point, I'm not going to ground you. I think you've punished yourself enough."

"Thank you, Dad." She kissed her mom's cheek and then her dad's. "I know it may take time, but I want you to trust me."

"We trust you. We still would like if you would take Em with you most places but if you feel that you need to talk to him alone for a few minutes, that's ok too."

Maddie remembered the talks she had had with Papa and both of her parents.

She knew that liking someone and kissing them could lead to things she wouldn't want at that point in her life. She was just happy she didn't feel guilty anymore.

LATER, GIRLS ROOM

"What?!" Em whispered loudly. "You kissed him?"

"Yes." Maddie smiled and blushed.

"What was it like?"

"It was perfect." Her mind replayed the way his mouth felt warm and soft against her own, the feeling when he wrapped his arms around her. She'd never felt so exhilarated before and she would never forget it.

"Oh my gosh, Maddie. I can't believe you waited so long to tell me. I should be mad at you, but I'm happy for you."

"I'm sorry Em."

"Are you going to kiss him again?"

"Eventually, I'm sure I will." She giggled against Em's shoulder. There really was no doubt about that.

UNION CITY

Amy rolled over, trying to get comfortable. She felt like she had grown so much recently. She was all tummy. Caleb said he couldn't tell she was pregnant from behind at all.

The baby kicked her in the side. "Isn't it time for a nap?"

"Hmm?" Caleb mumbled in his sleep.

"Nothing sweetie. Go back to sleep." She got up and went to rest on the couch. Maybe she just needed a change in scenery.

"Where are you going?" Caleb asked.

"I can't get comfortable. I'm going to the couch."

"If you stay, I'll give you a massage."

"Sweetie, you have early class. I'll be ok."

"You are more important to me than sleep, Ames. Come here."

She walked over and sat with her back to him, removing her robe. He bent forward and kissed her neck. "You're a wonderful husband, Caleb Thornton."

"Thank you, but you make it easy, babe."

He massaged her shoulders and neck and then had her lay down so he could do her back. She was so relaxed by the end that she fell asleep.

When she woke up hours later, she was alone. She rolled over and smiled. There was a note on his pillow.

AMES,

I HAD TO LEAVE FOR SCHOOL AND YOU WERE SLEEPING HARD SO I DIDN'T WAKE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, BABE.

SEE YOU AT LUNCH

CALEB

"Love you too, sweetheart," she whispered.

She had to work at the clinic for a few hours and then they would meet at the Blue Bird café for lunch after his class. She decided to wear her burgundy dress she had made and wore at Christmas. He told her it was his favorite dress on her. However, when she tried to pull it up over her hips and belly, she quickly realized it wasn't going to work. "Shoot!"

She pulled out another dress that she had purposely made larger. It was navy blue with white lace trim. That one, fit perfectly. She quickly braided her hair and then went to grab breakfast.

"Don't you look lovely, Amy!"

"Thank you, Sarah. I wanted to wear my burgundy one but it doesn't fit."

"Well, if you leave it with me, I can try to let it out a bit."

"Would you? That would be wonderful, Sarah."

"Absolutely. Don't take this the wrong way, but you may be carrying twins."

"Oh dear. That's a scary thought." She had thought about that herself because she listened for the baby's heart beat and thought she heard two. She assumed the second one was her own, but it was pretty fast.

"Oh, imagine. Two babies!"

"I have twin brothers-in-law."

"So it runs in the family."

"No, Caleb is adopted."

"Oh that's right. I think Patrick mentioned that. Well, either way dear, you will be just fine."

"I hope so." She had doubts whether she could handle one baby, let alone two.

"I shouldn't have said anything. Forgive me. I don't want you to worry."

"It's fine, Sarah. I'll go grab my dress in a moment."

AT LUNCH, BLUE BIRD CAFÉ

Caleb stood when Amy joined him at the table. "Hey there." He kissed her cheek and then noticed she seemed off. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She looked down, rubbing her tummy.

"Honey, you look like you are going to cry. What is it?"

"I'm fine, really. I'm starving, let's eat."

Caleb let it go until later when he would take her for a walk by the river. Maybe she just didn't want to talk in public.

When they finished eating, he grabbed her hand and led her away from the house.

"Where are we headed?"

"The river. I was hoping we could talk about whatever is bothering you."

"Caleb, I'm fine."

"Baby, I know you. I know when something is bothering you, but I haven't learned yet how to read your mind, so you're going to have to help me out."

She stayed silent until they reached the river, then she turned and hugged him, burying her face in his shoulder. "I'm scared." The tears started, made worse by her hormones. "I'm so scared." He wrapped his arms around her tighter.

"What are you afraid of?"

"I don't know if I can handle two babies by myself."

"Two? Why do you think we are having two?"

"I thought I heard two heartbeats and then Sarah said she thought maybe I had two and my burgundy dress wouldn't fit and I talked to the doctor…"

"Honey, take a breath. Everything will be fine."

"You will be at the Academy. I'll be alone."

"I will make sure that you will have someone with you."

"We don't know anyone there! Caleb I don't know how to be a mother, I'm new at this wife thing, and now two babies? I just can't do this!" She walked away, toward home, wiping her tears along the way.

Caleb followed her all the way home and into the house. Sarah looked up to see an upset Amy and a frustrated Caleb following her. She raised her eyebrows at him and he just shook his head, following his wife into their room.

Caleb shut their door and walked over to Amy's medical bag to get her stethoscope.

"What are you doing Caleb?"

"I want to hear our babies heartbeats." He walked over to her, kneeling before her on the floor. "Can you find them for me?" He handed her the stethoscope and watched her move the end around until she found them, just below her navel.

"Here you go." She handed it back.

"The swish swish? Is that them?"

"Yeah."

"Oh wow, honey. That is so amazing. How is it possible to love someone so much when you haven't even met them?" He felt a tear roll down his face. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being my wife and these babies' mama." He stood and pulled her to her feet. "I love you so much." He kissed her forehead and then met her lips with his, briefly. "I promise you, everything will be ok. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do. I'm sorry I overreacted."

"Honey, don't apologize. I want to know whenever you are worried or sad."

"Ok."

"Promise you'll tell me?"

"Yes, I promise."

AFTER SCHOOL, HARRIS TOWN

"You told them? Do they hate me now?" He was kidding, even though it was the last thing he wanted.

She nudged him with her elbow. "Of course I told them. I felt so guilty I couldn't take it anymore and no, I told them it was my idea."

"Believe me, I had the idea months before."

"Maybe, but I took you for the walk, alone. I had every intention of kissing you."

Em walked behind them, trying not to eavesdrop, but it was hard. She wished she had a boy to walk beside and hold hands with, then maybe she wouldn't feel so left out and uncomfortable.

"Em?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going to study? Are you coming?"

"Yeah." She didn't really have a choice.

She walked in behind them, shutting the door. She sat on the couch in the parlor and opened her history book while Nate and Maddie went into the kitchen.

Charlotte came in the room. "Em? Aren't you going to study with your sister today?"

"No, I'd rather go home."

"Did you have a disagreement?"

"No ma'am."

"What's bothering you, sweetie?"

"Nothing much."

Charlotte sat next to her and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. "Is it weird being with them?"

"It didn't used to be."

"You wish you had someone to like?"

"How did you know?"

"I just had a feeling."

"I guess I feel left out."

"Emmy, you will find a boy to like when you least expect it. Don't worry."

"I don't know if you've noticed, Grandma, but I'm not very good at being patient."

Charlotte laughed. "Yes, I've noticed, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I love you to pieces."

"I love you too, Grandma."

"If you want to go home, I'll keep an eye on the lovebirds in there."

"You will? Thank you!" She kissed her grandma's cheek and left before she could change her mind.

LATER, AT THE THORNTONS

Maddie walked in the door at home. "Me Me! See bock?" J.T. said, holding up his block.

"I see. Are you playing with Abbie?"

Abbie sat next to a pile of blocks, tossing them around.

"Ya! Mess."

"Yeah, you did make a mess, didn't you?"

"No. Bebe mess."

"Abbie did it?"

"Ya."

"Well, it's almost time to eat. Let's pick them up." He took her hand and led her to the pile, helping her pick them up and put them in the toy chest.

"Done, Me Me!"

"Good job, buddy."

Maddie picked Abbie up and J.T. grabbed her hand and they walked into the kitchen.

"Mama? Me eat?" J.T. Asked.

"Yes, babe. Get in your chair and we will eat soon."

Em was at the stove stirring the gravy for the roast and potatoes.

"How come you left, Em?" Maddie asked her.

"No reason."

"I'm sure there's a reason. You've been acting weird lately."

"How would you know?" she raised her voice. "You don't pay attention to me anymore!"

"That's not true."

"Yes it is, Maddie. You ignore me and just make eyes at Nate all day. So I figured you wouldn't even notice if I left."

"Of course I noticed."

"When? When I wasn't there to walk home with you?" Em started sniffing, her eyes burning.

"Are you going to study with us tomorrow?"

"No. Guess you better pick someone else that doesn't mind being ignored." Em handed her the spoon and quickly walked away.

"Em!?" she called after her.

"Just give her time, Sweetie," Elizabeth told her.

"But I don't want her to be upset. I need to talk to her, Ma." Maddie found her on the back porch swing.

"Can I sit down?"

"Sure." Em got up to leave but Maddie stopped her.

"Em, talk to me."

"I don't have anything else to say." She turned to face the pond, wiping her cheeks.

Maddie walked up to her, looping her arm through Em's.

"I love you, Em. I'm sorry you're upset."

"I'm not upset. I'm jealous, Maddie!" she yelled. "I want that too! Why can't it happen for me? Why can't there be a boy who likes me?"

"There will be. You just have to be…"

"Patient? I'm not patient, you know that."

"I know, but you don't have much of a choice." She giggled, covering her mouth. Before Em could help it, they were both laughing.

"I'm sorry I yelled."

"It's ok. If you don't want to be with us anymore, Grandma can keep an eye on us."

"No it's fine. Just no more lovey dovey stuff, ok?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. You're always holding his hand or looking at him like he's an apple pie or something." Maddie laughed.

"An apple pie? Em, you're silly. I don't even like Apple pie. Now if you said cherry pie, I'd agree with you." She pulled Em inside, both of them giggling.

"Maddie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."


	6. Chapter 6 - I Need You

****Hey everyone. I think, ever since I started with Butterflies over a year ago, the ongoing theme has been how Jack and Elizabeth support each other, no matter what. From sickness, to losing a child, losing a parent, dealing with teenagers, etc. By all of you reading my stories, I feel the #hearties wave of support. It's a wonderful thing.****

It was mid-February and bitterly cold. It was too cold for the children to walk to school, so Kevin graciously offered to pick up the Thornton kids, Livy Harris and Nate and drive them to school in his wagon. With them all huddled in the back of his wagon under thick blankets, they kept warm enough.

Nate smiled as he looked at Maddie. She smiled back, grabbing his gloved hand under the blanket, and then laying her head on his shoulder. "Want to come for dinner tonight? Ma said I could invite you," Maddie told him.

"Sure. I'll be there. Mr. Thomas?"

"Yes, Nate?" he yelled from the front.

"Can you please tell my parents that I'm going to the Thornton's after school for dinner?"

"Sure thing. I'm supposed to meet your dad after I drop you off anyway."

"Thank you!" Nate yelled back as he squeezed her hand.

TRAIN STATION, HARRIS TOWN

Grace and Jake stepped down from the train into the blowing wind. She pulled her coat tighter around her body. Jake saw her shiver and pulled her close.

"Doing ok, sweetheart?"

"It's so cold!"

"I know. Let's go see Charlotte and get warmed up." Jake looked over at the platform. "Travis!"

"Mr. and Mrs. Hunt! What a surprise. How are you both?"

"Just fine, thank you. Would you do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything."

"We have two trunks and a few bags in our compartment. Would you be able to take them to Jack and Elizabeth's for us? We are going to warm up at the boarding house before trying to catch a ride out there."

"I can do better than that. I'll come by the boarding house and take you out there myself."

"Oh, that would be wonderful." He handed Travis some money, which he refused.

"Not for family," Travis said with a smile and walked toward the train.

"Come on, Grace. You need to get warm."

Jake walked, his arm around his wife, almost carrying her. She was not well, and the trip probably had not been the best idea, but she insisted on spending the time she had left with her grandchildren and family.

The medicine the Hamilton doctor put her on, slowed her heart to the point where she didn't have the energy to do hardly anything. Also, her kidneys and liver had been damaged by the previous medicine and there was no way to reverse the damage. The cold air also was dangerous, but he wanted to make her happy, so they had come.

Jake picked her up and knocked on the door at the Avery House with his foot.

Charlotte opened the door. "Oh! Jake, bring her in. Is she ok?" He laid her on the couch by the fire and covered her in blankets.

"No, I'm afraid she isn't. This cold is hard on her heart which is already weak and tired."

"Should I get the doctor?"

"No, there's nothing they can do."

"Why did you bring her all this way?"

"She needs to say goodbye to everyone." His voice cracked as he said the horrifying words. He feared that losing Grace would take his own will to live. She meant everything to him, and very soon, she'd be gone.

"Oh, goodness. I'll go get Elizabeth and Jack."

"No, we'll head out there as soon as she gets warm."

"Nonsense. I have rooms here and she shouldn't go out there. It's easier for everyone to come here." She thought for a moment. "I have a room with a fireplace that would be perfect. We should take her to bed."

Jake looked at his frail wife, knowing Charlotte was right. "Ok, show me." He picked Grace up and followed Charlotte.

AFTER SCHOOL

Jack picked up the kids from school and took them to the boarding house.

"Daddy? Why didn't Mr. Thomas pick us up?" Carlie asked.

"We need to go to the boarding house. Papa Jake and Grandma are here."

"They are?"

"Yes, but I need everyone to listen, ok?"

They all stopped and looked at their father. Nate grabbed Maddie's fingers sensing she would need support.

"Grandma is very sick. We need to be quiet when visiting her, but make sure you let her know you love her."

"Sick like last time?" Drew asked.

"Yes, but a little worse."

Maddie could see her dad was shielding them from bad news. She caught his eye.

He smiled, a sad gleam in his eye. "Let's go, everyone."

He grabbed Carlie's hand. "Daddy, where's Mama?'

"She's with Grandma. Remember we need to be quiet, ok?"

"I will."

When they walked in, Jack went to relieve Elizabeth by taking Abbie, and J.T. ran to Maddie.

"Will you come up to see her with me?" Elizabeth asked him, with tears in her eyes. He kissed her forehead.

"Of course. Em? Can you take Abbie?" He handed her over and grabbed

Elizabeth's hand. "Ready, sweetheart?"

"No. I'm not." He hugged her tightly until she let go. He didn't want to force her to do something she wasn't ready for.

A few moments later she had collected herself and they went upstairs.

When they walked in the room, Elizabeth immediately felt as though they were intruding. Jake was laying next to her mother, his arms wrapped around her, his head resting on her shoulder in his sleep. He had such love in his heart for her and now she was going to leave him.

Elizabeth turned and buried her face in Jack's chest. "I can't do this," she whispered. "She can't be leaving him. He won't make it." They stood and took in the sight of the two of them and then decided to return later.

IN THE KITCHEN

Maddie and Nate cut up fruit for everyone to hold them over until supper.

"You ok?" Nate asked, nudging her elbow with his.

"I don't know. I'm trying not to think about it too much." She looked at him and smiled. "Thank you for staying with me."

"It's where I want to be." The statement told her volumes about how he felt. He looked over at the others, engrossed in their conversation. "You mean a lot to me, Maddie." He put his arm around her back and stepped closer.

She stared up at him and then slipped her arm around his waist. She was so grateful he was there for support.

"Me Me! Eat, pease?" J.T. shouted, receiving shushes from all his siblings.

"We need to be quiet, Jay," Em reminded him.

Maddie brought the sliced apples to the table along with crackers and cheese.

She watched them all eat while feeding Abbie some applesauce. Abbie was blissfully unaware of the sadness going on in the house. Maddie wished she was too.

UPSTAIRS

"Do you want to go back in there, sweetie?" Jack asked as he rubbed her back.

"I guess. Just be there with me Jack. I need you with me."

"Of course, I'm not going anywhere." He walked around the bed and grabbed her hand to lead her out of the room. As they left, they met Charlotte in the hall. She'd very obviously been crying.

"Mom? Are you ok?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, not really. What about you?"

"I don't know. Losing Pop and now…it's so hard." Charlotte reached over and hugged both Jack and Elizabeth.

"We all need to rely on each other and not take each other for granted." She put her hand on Elizabeth's cheek. "I love you, my beautiful daughter. Always remember that." Elizabeth nodded, wiping her tears.

"I love you too, Mom."

THAT NIGHT

Nate excused himself to leave for home when dinner was over. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, Maddie?"

"I'm not sure what's going to happen. I might stay here." Nate nodded and kissed her cheek.

"I'll stop by in the morning to check on you."

"Thank you, Nate." He nodded.

"Good night everyone. Please let my parents and me know if you need help, ok?"

"Thank you, Nate," Elizabeth said.

Maddie slipped out to walk Nate to the door. She knew it was a risk but she needed a hug.

Nate looked down at her and smiled. "It will be ok."

"How do you know?"

"I know that what ever happens, you have a big, wonderful family that will help you get through it."

"I have you, too."

"Yes, you do." He touched her cheek, tucking her curls behind her ear. "See you tomorrow?" She nodded and watched him walk out the door.

Jake cleared his throat as he walked down the stairs. "Was that your young man, sweetheart?"

"Yes, Papa. That was Nate."

"Maybe I can meet him sometime?"

"Of course. I think you'll like him."

"I can see you do," he teased, kissing her forehead. She blushed and then hugged him. "Thank you, Maddie. I needed that."

"Me too, Papa."

Nate came rushing back in a moment later.

"Nate?"

"It's a blizzard. I don't think I should leave." He brushed off the snow that had accumulated on his coat and hat. "I can't see an inch in front of my face."

"There's plenty of room here," Maddie told him.

Jake walked over and held out his hand. "Young man, I'm Jacob Hunt. Maddie's grandfather."

"Yes, sir. I'm Nathan Carlin. You can call me Nate. I'm Maddie's….well….its nice to meet you."

Maddie smiled at Nate's uncertainty.

"It's a pleasure, Nathan. So, you plan to marry Maddie?"

"Papa!" Maddie exclaimed.

"Maddie, I believe it's a fair question," Jake informed her. He noticed her face. "One I believe that can be left for a different time, though."

"I think so too," she agreed.

Jack decided that everyone would stay the night rather than risk traveling back. He knew Kevin would take care of their milk cows because they shared a barn.

Maddie decided to go see her Grandma. She peeked in the door. "Grandma?"

"Hi, Sweetheart," Grace whispered. "Come see me." Maddie walked over and laid down next to her, grabbing her hand. "I'm glad you came."

"I'm sorry I didn't sooner. I was taking care of the kids."

"I have something for you."

"Grandma, you don't need to give me anything. Just concentrate on getting better."

"You're so sweet. Honey, I won't be getting better. I want to give this to you because you're my oldest granddaughter." She took a small box from the table next to her.

"Of course you'll get better. You just need to rest like last time."

"Maddie, listen sweetie." She squeezed her hand and smiled. "My heart won't hold out much longer. That's why I traveled here to see all of you. I want to see all of you and say goodbye."

"No, Grandma. You can't die!"

"Shhhh. It's ok."

"What about Papa? He needs you."

"I need him too and I love him so much. I have had a wonderful life. With your Papa William in Hamilton and now with Jake. I have so many things to be thankful for, including you, my love." Maddie let her tears fall and buried her face in Grace's shoulder. "Everything will be ok."

"Not without you," Maddie sobbed.

"Maddie, open this box, please."

Maddie did as she was told, her cheeks still wet with tears. "Rings?"

"Those are my and Papa William's wedding rings. I want you to have them."

Maddie took them out of the box and gasped. The man's ring was plain gold but the woman's had small diamonds around the entire ring. They were on a gold necklace.

"Thank you, Grandma. Are you sure?"

"Yes, sweetie. Wear them around your neck until you get married some day."

Maddie fastened the necklace around her neck and laid back down. "Grandma, I want you to meet Nate. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Tell me about him, sweetie."

Maddie told her everything she wanted to know, even that she had kissed Nate. Grace listened, grateful that she had this precious time with her.

UNION CITY

Amy received the telegram at home while Caleb was in class. She waited in the kitchen, stirring the chicken stew she made for lunch. As she continued waiting, she whipped up a batch of biscuits to go with it.

Finally Caleb walked in. He smiled at her. Even though it was frigid outside, the house was cozy and she was cooking barefoot in the kitchen. He didn't know how, but she continued to get more beautiful everyday he was married to her and something about her making him supper while carrying his baby, or babies, took his breath away.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hi," she said as she looked back at him. He walked over and kissed her, his hand caressing her swollen tummy. "How was school?"

"Good. This smells amazing, honey."

"Thank you." She looked up at him and he couldn't figure out her expression.

"What?"

"We received a telegram today," she said quietly.

"From whom?"

"Grandma Charlotte."

"What did it say?"

She led him over to a chair and once he was sitting, she pulled it from her apron pocket.

TO:CALEB AND AMY THORNTON

UNION CITY

FROM:CHARLOTTE AVERY, HARRIS TOWN

DEAR CALEB AND AMY,

JAKE AND GRACE ARRIVED TODAY. GRACE VERY ILL. HER HEART IS WEAK. CAME TO SAY GOODBYE. PLEASE COME IF POSSIBLE.

LOVE GRANDMA

Amy watched his face. "Love? What do you want to do?"

"I can't go. I have my group presentation and I can't miss it."

"I can go, Caleb."

"I don't know if I feel comfortable with you traveling alone, that far."

She understood, but she knew one of them needed to go. "What if I ask Patrick? If he can't, maybe he knows of another Mountie who can escort me."

"Ask me what?" Patrick asked as he walked in for lunch.

Amy looked at her husband. "Would you be willing to go to Harris Town with Amy? My grandmother is ill and I can't go."

"When would we go?"

"Tomorrow afternoon," Amy offered.

"Yes, I will travel with you, Amy. I won't be able to stay though."

"Thank you, Patrick." Amy turned to dish up the stew and hot biscuits for the men. She mentally began making a list of everything she needed to take.

She sat the bowls of stew in front of them and then the warm biscuits and butter. As she started walking away, Caleb grabbed her hand. "You need to eat too."

"I have a lot to do, Caleb."

"You can take ten minutes and eat something." She nodded and joined them, still making lists.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Caleb watched her pack from bed. "Hey, come to bed. You can pack tomorrow."

"Are you sure you're ok with me staying a week?"

"Yes, I'm sure." He got up and grabbed her stethoscope and then laid back down.

"Ames, you need to rest." She yawned and then laughed.

"I guess I am tired." She took off her robe and slipped under the covers, facing Caleb.

He put the stethoscope in his ears and then slipped his hand and the end of the stethoscope under her nightgown. She raised her eyebrows at him and laughed.

"Looking for something, love?"

Her listened for the babies every night and had gotten pretty good at finding them. She touched his cheek as he searched for the heartbeats, a serious look on his face. As soon as he smiled she knew. "Found them!"

"You could have done it through the fabric too, you know," she teased, kissing his smiling lips.

"I'm going to miss you, Ames."

"Me too, sweetie."

He moved closer and kissed her back. "Please be careful."

"Don't worry, Caleb. Patrick will be with me."

"I know, but I'm your husband. I'm supposed to keep you safe."

"You are, by asking Patrick. Sweetheart, do you have class on Monday?"

"No, why?"

"Why don't you come on the train Friday night? You'll be there Saturday morning and we can come back Monday morning."

THE NEXT MORNING

Caleb bent over her sleeping form the next morning. "Love you, babe. I'll see you at lunch."

"Mmhmm," she mumbled. "Oh wait!"

"I gotta go."

"Kiss first." She rolled over on to her back and waited for his kiss. "I love you too," she said after he pulled back.

Caleb insisted on coming home for lunch and then taking her and Patrick to the train station. He was becoming more protective the more pregnant she got and she was grateful, even if it was unnecessary sometimes, like when she had a perfectly fine Constable ready to escort her home.

HARRIS TOWN, THE AVERY HOUSE

Elizabeth sat at the table, sipping her coffee and watched J.T. and Abbie eating their eggs she had made for them.

The last two nights since her parents arrived in town, she stayed at the boarding house with the babies. She needed to be close in case something happened. Jack stayed the night of the blizzard, but went home the next afternoon with the older kids.

She continued nursing her cup of coffee and tried not to cry. It was difficult. Honestly, she didn't know what she would do when her mom finally passed. They may not live close to them, but she was still her mom and it seemed so impossible that in a matter of days she could be gone.

"Mama!" Three year old J.T. yelled, getting her attention.

"Yes, Jay?"

"Me done! Bebe done." Elizabeth smiled because he always spoke for Abbie, or "Bebe."

"Ok, thank you for telling me."

"Dada?"

"He's at home but he'll be here soon."

"Yay!" He clapped his hands and grinned.

She put J.T. on the floor and picked up Abbie just as Jack walked in the door.

"Dada!" J.T. said excitedly, running up to him.

"Hi, Jay!" He picked him up and kissed his cheek. "I missed you."

"Mama sad." J.T. said with a sad look on his face.

"I know. Let's go cheer her up." J.T. nodded.

He found Elizabeth nursing Abbie at the table as she drank her coffee. "Hi, Sweetheart," he greeted.

She looked up, her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes watery. "Hi," she responded.

"Honey, did something happen last night?"

She shook her head and looked down at Abbie.

"Mama sad," J.T. said to Jack.

"Yeah, she is. Let's give her a hug." He lifted J.T. up to hug Elizabeth. The action brought on more tears.

"Elizabeth? Did you sleep at all?"

"No, I couldn't." She looked at him and shook her head.

"Shhh," he told her as he held her close. "Let's go to bed."

"I can't. I need to…"

"Sleep." He took her hand and helped her up.

Charlotte walked in the room. "Ma? Can you watch Jay while we go sleep?"

"Of course. Come on, buddy. Let's make cookies."

Jack could hear J.T. say, "Mama sad" as he led Elizabeth up the stairs. He smiled at the concern his three year old had.

He shut the bedroom door behind them and helped Elizabeth put Abbie in the smaller bed across the room, surrounding her with pillows. Then he removed her robe and slipped into bed behind her, holding her tightly, wanting her to feel safe and comforted.

After a few moments, he felt her relax against him and could hear her gentle snore as she drifted off.


	7. Chapter 7 - The Blessings of Family

They had only been asleep for an hour, but Elizabeth had to get up. She unwrapped Jack's arm from around her waist and sat up.

"Honey, one hour doesn't make up for an entire night of no sleep."

"I'm fine, Jack. I need to check on Mother and…"

"Elizabeth, I love you."

"I know."

"I'm here for you, no matter what. You can tell me anything."

"I love you too, Jack."

She slipped her robe on and wandered out of the room to see how her mother was doing. As she was about to knock, Jake opened the door.

"Morning, sweetie," he greeted, kissing her cheek.

"Morning, Dad. Is Mother awake?" He smiled at her. "What?"

"You've never called me Dad before."

"I guess it just slipped out. If you don't like it…"

"I love it. Please, call me Dad." She nodded.

"Is Mother awake?"

"Yes, you can go on in. She had a good night." That made Elizabeth feel a bit better. "Beth?" She turned back toward him. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." Jake took her hand and pulled her away from their door.

"Honey, you don't have to be brave in front of me." She looked away, fighting her tears.

"I can't imagine what you're going through. If I lost Jack, I…."

"Don't discount your own feelings to spare me. I know this is hard for you."

"I'm scared." She wrapped her arms around herself and let her tears fall.

"What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared of losing her. Of losing Jack. You. Charlotte. I need all of you."

"It kind of brings things into perspective."

"Yes, exactly."

"You know what? We just need to make sure we let everyone know how much we love and care for them. How much we need them. We never know when someone might leave us, so we have to make sure there are no doubts."

"You sound like Charlotte."

"I'm going to follow my own advice now." He touched her cheek and smiled. "I'm so happy you are my daughter, Elizabeth. You mean the world to me and I am so very proud of you."

"Thank you." She wrapped her arms around him and sighed. "I love you, Dad. Thank you for making my mother happy again. We are all very lucky you're in our lives."

"I don't know how I'll deal with losing her but I'm extremely grateful for the second chance at love that I was given. She will always be in my heart, for the rest of my life."

"I know." She watched her step-father break down in front of her and it only made her respect him more. She could feel his love and she knew she would never doubt it. "Dad, after Mother passes, will you stay here, with us, in Harris Town? The kids would love having you close by."

"I don't know, sweetie. I can't make that decision right now."

"I understand. Just remember we would love to have you here."

SCHOOL, LUNCHTIME

Maddie stayed inside at lunch. She didn't feel like dodging snowballs or being asked to build a fort. She just wanted to be home. She was sad and she felt like crying. The one thing that kept her sane was Nate sitting next to her.

She was reading Pride and Prejudice for probably the twentieth time. Books took her away from everything, keeping her mind off the sadness or whatever was going on.

Nate took note of her tattered copy of the novel. "How many times have you read that, Maddie?"

"I lost count, but it's always good. The ending is the best. Have you ever read it?"

"No, I don't read many books."

"Maybe if you read it, we could talk about it."

"Maybe."

She put her head on his shoulder and went back to reading. She looked up at him and smiled. She wished he would kiss her again. He hadn't since their first kiss and she wondered why.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said, going back to the book.

"Tell me," he prompted.

She sat up and her cheeks heated. "Its been awhile since we kissed," she said quietly.

"True."

"Well, are you ever going to kiss me again?"

"Sure, I just thought maybe we should wait."

"For what?"

"Maybe your birthday?"

"Oh. Ok." She was disappointed. Maybe she had done it wrong? Maybe he hadn't liked it?

Nate could see her disappointment, but he wanted it to be special. If they kissed frequently, it wouldn't mean as much when he wanted it to. "You know it's not that I don't want to, Maddie."

"Are you sure? Was it terrible?"

"No, of course not. It was better than I hoped it would be."

She sighed with relief. "Me too, but why do you think we should wait?"

"So that it's special. That's when I had planned our first kiss and I still have plans."

She nodded. "Ok. I guess I understand."

The door opened and all the kids filed in, shuffling their boots, taking off their coats, and talking loudly. Maddie sighed, knowing her time for quiet was passed.

THE NEXT AFTERNOON, TRAIN STATION

Jack waited for the train, knowing Amy and Patrick would be on it. He looked up as the whistle blew. It would be good to see his daughter-in-law and old friend.

As the train grinded to a stop, Jack stepped forward to offer assistance, but Patrick had offered his arm. As they walked down the platform, their eyes met.

"Patrick O'Reilly!"

"Jack Thornton!" They shook hands. "Good to see you, friend."

"You too, Patrick. Thank you for escorting Amy."

"My pleasure."

Amy let go of Patrick's arm and stepped forward. "Hi, Dad."

"Hi, sweetie. You look great!"

"I look as big as that train car I just stepped off of, but thank you." Jack shook his head and pulled her into his arms.

"You look beautiful, Amy."

"Thank you."

"Not much longer?" he asked, gesturing to her tummy.

"Six more weeks."

"Six weeks and I'll be a grandfather. I can hardly believe it."

"How's Mom and Grandma and Papa?"

"Well, they're having a tough time. It's hard to see Grace that way."

"Let's go see them." Patrick offered to grab her suitcase and the three of them walked to the boarding house.

When they reached the house, Amy was very cold. "So you had a lot of snow recently?"

"Yeah, just a few days ago. We were stuck here for a night because it was basically a blizzard," Jack informed her.

She walked over to the fire in the parlor and took off her coat and gloves, rubbing her hands together. "It sure is cold!"

"Yes, it is. Would you like some coffee?" Jack asked her and Patrick.

"Yes, please," they both answered. "I can get it, Dad."

"No, sweetie. You rest." She nodded, sitting on the couch. She threw a blanket over herself and looked up at Patrick.

"Patrick? You can sit if you'd like. We can share this blanket."

"No, thank you. I best see about getting a room for the night."

"I have plenty of room, Constable," Charlotte said, walking in the room with a tray of coffee and cookies.

"Hi, Grandma!" Amy said, struggling to get on her feet.

"Hi, Sweetie. You don't have to get up."

She finally stood, with Patrick's help, and took the tray. Then she wrapped her arms around Charlotte. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. You look…"

"Huge?"

"No, dear. Just pregnant and happy."

"I am. Patrick, this is Jack's mom, Charlotte Avery."

"Pleasure to meet you ma'am. I only need a room tonight. I need to take the morning train back to the city."

"I see. That will be fine. Thank you for bringing Amy. It's good to know she was safe."

"You're welcome."

Amy got up a few minutes later when the kids ran in after school. "Amy! Is Caleb here?" Carlie wondered. "I miss him."

"I know you do. He had to stay at school but he will come in a few days."

"You have two babies in there, Amy?"

"I don't know for sure."

"I think you should have two babies."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, you will be a good Mama."

"Thank you, Carlie. I sure hope so." She was still nervous so she chose to pretend there was only one in there.

That night, Elizabeth, as usual, couldn't sleep, so she grabbed Abbie and took her to the kitchen to get a snack.

"Amy?"

"Hi, Mom." She took a sip of her tea. "Do you want tea? It's on the stove if you'd like some."

"Thank you, I think I will." She walked over and poured a cup and then sat down. "How are you feeling, Amy?"

"Ok. It's hard to get comfortable. "

"And you miss Caleb?"

"Yeah. I'm used to him being next to me."

"I know how that is. It's difficult."

Amy grabbed her hand and placed it where the baby was kicking. Elizabeth gave a small smile.

As much as she wanted to be happy in feeling her grandbaby move, she was just sad for her own situation. She felt selfish and unloving, but she didn't feel right being happy when her own mother lay dying upstairs.

"Mom? It's ok to be sad. I know how hard this must be for you."

Elizabeth nodded and fought to keep her tears below the surface. Abbie started waking up. "Mama," she said with a smile.

"Hi, baby girl." Abbie burrowed into her neck, snuggling closer. Her chubby fingers grasped Elizabeth's curls.

"What is that like?"

"What?"

"To have someone love you like that, rely on you to nourish and keep them safe."

"It feels wonderful. You have that too, they're just still inside of you."

"I suppose." She smiled. "I remember sitting here with you, wondering what it felt like to be pregnant. You said, "you'll have that one day Amy." And now look at me."

"Are you happy, Amy?"

"Yes. Caleb…let's just say, he surprises me and I love him more and more everyday."

THE NEXT MORNING

Patrick left on the morning train as planned.

Elizabeth got up, changed and fed Abbie and took J.T. to the potty.

"Good boy," she said, when he finished. She kissed his head and helped him wash his hands.

"Mama sad?"

"I guess so."

"Hug." He reached for her and she picked him up, holding him tight as he

wrapped himself around her. "Love Mama."

"I love you, baby."

As they walked out of the bathroom, Charlotte appeared. "Sweetie? Let me take the babies. Jake needs you." Elizabeth tried to read her expression, but she just looked serious.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and knocked on her parents door. When no answer came, she walked in. She found Jake in a chair bent over the bed, holding her mother's hand. "Dad?"

"Honey, she's gone."

"What? No!"

"She went in her sleep."

All the emotion of the last few days decided to return and she started sobbing. Jake looked up and grabbed her just as she fell to the floor. "No, Mama. I can't be without you." Jake held her, stroking her hair as she cried.

"Sweetheart, she loved you so much."

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Travis knocked on the door.

"Travis! Come in," Jack said as he held the door open.

"Jack." The way his friend said his name, he knew why he was there.

"When?"

"In her sleep. I'm so sorry."

"Travis, can you hook up our wagon and take us to town?"

"Of course."

"Daddy? Why is Uncle Travis taking us to school?" Carlie asked as they were riding to town.

"Because, that's the way we'll do it today. Ok, babe?"

"Ok, Daddy. Give Grandma a kiss for me." He kissed her head. The tears threatened but he held them in.

"I love you, Carlie."

"I love you too."

Maddie and Em watched their Dad. He was not telling them something. Maddie had a feeling she knew but she didn't want to upset the little kids, so she didn't say anything.

When they got to the school, she jumped out and hugged him. "Dad, give mom a kiss for me, ok?"

"Of course, sweetie."

"I love you," she told him, with a kiss to his cheek. She walked off to class, determined not to think about anything but school.

Jack walked in the boarding house. Everything was silent. He walked in the kitchen and found his Mom holding Abbie who was sleeping and Amy held J.T.

"Hi," he said quietly. Both ladies looked up at him with watery eyes. "Are you both doing ok?"

"Jack, go to Elizabeth. She needs you right now." He walked over and squeezed his mom's shoulder and then kissed her cheek.

"Amy? Do you want me to take him?"

"No, it's fine. I'll lay him down if I need to."

"Thank you, both of you." Jack walked upstairs to find Elizabeth. She wasn't in their room so she assumed she was in Jake and Grace's room.

Jake looked up and walked over to Jack. "I need to get out of here. Please, I can't be here."

"Jake? Listen. It's freezing outside. Please don't go far. The last thing we want is you to get sick."

His face showed that he didn't care much what happened to himself, just that he couldn't handle anything right then.

Jake knew Jack was right so he walked upstairs to a vacant room and succumbed to his grief.

Crying didn't seem to be adequate. His heart was completely broken and he doubted it could ever be put together again.

After a few moments, Charlotte walked in with Abbie. "Oh! Jake I'm sorry. I didn't expect you would be in here."

"Is this your room?" he wiped his eyes and looked at her.

"Yes, but you can use it as long as you'd like."

She started to leave but he stopped her. "You can leave Abbie. I don't mind."

"The last thing you need is to have to take care of a baby right now."

"Please, Charlotte. Maybe she is just what I need." He didn't know for sure, but he did know that his grandchildren brought joy to his life.

She handed over the sleeping baby and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Jake."

"I'm sorry about your loss too."

"Thank you." That baffled her. He had just lost his wife, but he was thinking about someone else.

GRACE AND JAKE'S ROOM

Jack sat next to Grace on the bed after coaxing Elizabeth to sit in the chair.

He held her cold, lifeless hand in his, thinking how lovely she looked, even in death. She was a beautiful person, inside and out, much like Elizabeth. Her grandchildren loved her, her husband loved her, and her children loved her. What a good life she had lived, first with William, and then Jake, knowing the power of love.

He felt the tears streaming down his cheeks but he didn't bother to stop them, he just let himself grieve for and let go of his "Mom."

Elizabeth watched Jack crying over her mother. She wanted to comfort him and she needed his comfort as well, but she didn't have any strength left. She felt as if it had died too.

After a few more minutes, Jack wiped his tears and blew his nose. Then he took Elizabeth's hand and started to lead her out of the room. "I can't go, Jack. Please don't make me go." He looked at her, dropping her hand.

He kissed her forehead and nodded. "I love you. Take your time."

In her heart, she knew she would miss her mother until the day she died. Now, she knew, she had to let go and be there for her family. She just had no idea how.


	8. Chapter 8 - Life

Elizabeth sighed, rolling over to look at Jack. His eyes popped open and watched her. "Honey?"

"I don't want to be sad anymore."

"I know. I bet this will make you feel better."

"What?"

He kissed her cheek. "That was from Maddie." He kissed her other cheek.

"Emmy." He kissed her forehead twice. "The twins." Then he kissed her nose. "Carlie." Then he slowly kissed her lips. She missed his kisses. She'd been so sad lately, they hadn't taken time for themselves.

She couldn't help but smile. "Who was that from?"

"I sure hope no one else but me kisses you like that, or we'll have a problem." She smiled again.

"Thank you. It did make me feel a little better."

"Caleb comes today."

"It will be good to see him."

"It will," Jack admitted. "I think we should have a talk with the kids. To make sure they're doing ok. Last time Maddie struggled and I want to make sure that doesn't happen again."

"I agree, but I think it needs to be at home." Elizabeth missed their home. Now that her mother was gone, she knew it was time.

A few hours later, all the Thornton kids, including Amy and Caleb, were gathered in the living room at home, curious to see what their parents wanted.

"Mama? Are you having a baby?" Em asked.

"No, sweetie. Why?"

"Usually that's when we all sit and talk."

"Oh, no. This time Dad and I want to talk to you about how you're all feeling since Grandma passed away."

Everyone stopped talking. Not even a peep.

Jack looked at Elizabeth. "Why is everyone so quiet? You can tell us anything."

Caleb started. "I'm sad, but I'm glad she isn't sick anymore." Amy took his hand and squeezed.

"She wasn't my Grandma for long, but she welcomed me into the family and I loved her very much. I wanted our baby to meet her." Amy wiped her eyes and sighed. Caleb put his arm around her.

"Me too, Ames."

Maddie looked around at everyone and then spoke. "She let me tell her about Nate and she gave me advice. I'll miss her but I'm glad for the years that she was my Grandma." Em grabbed Maddie's hand.

"I don't know how I feel," she admitted.

"That's ok, Em. Basically we want to make sure you all know that you can talk to us about anything," Jack assured them.

Carlie and the twins sat silently, not making eye contact. Jack grabbed Carlie and put her on his lap. "Carlie? You ok, sweetie?"

"No." She laid her head against his chest and cried. "I don't want you or Mama to die!"

"Honey, why do you think we're going to die?"

"First Papa died and now Grandma and Caleb left me too. I don't want my family to go away!"

"Sweetie, look at me." He touched her face, kissing her forehead. "When people grow up, sometimes they move away, but they still come visit and they still love us. Sometimes, people we love get older and they get sick and pass away. We can't stop it, but we can always make sure we tell them how much they mean to us."

"I'm starting to forget what Papa looked like and I don't want to forget," Will admitted.

Elizabeth moved between the twins. "Its hard when we forget what people look like when they pass away. I panicked when I started forgetting my father's face after he died. It scared me, but I realized I wasn't forgetting him, just the little details. He will always be with me."

"I don't want you to be sad, Mama," Drew finally said. "I miss your smile."

She kissed his cheeks and teared up. "I love you, Drew. I don't want to be sad either."

AT THE BOARDING HOUSE

That evening, Charlotte sat at the table, planning meals for the residents she would be getting soon. A new family with two kids. They would be showing up the next morning. She was happy because it would be just the thing to keep her mind off Grace dying.

Jake walked in, dressed nicely in a gray button down shirt and black pants. Charlotte had never noticed how blue his eyes were before. The gray shirt brought them out.

"Got any coffee, Charlotte?"

"Yep, have a seat. I'll get it for you."

"No need. I'll do it. Would you like some?"

"Yes, please."

He poured two cups and handed one to her. "Cream or sugar?"

"No, black for me."

He sat down and sipped his coffee, watching her make lists. "Roast beef, carrots, potatoes. Sounds like a good meal to me."

"Dinner tomorrow night. The family coming in has two teenage boys and the father is a blacksmith. I figured a good hearty meal would be good." She took a sip and looked at Jake. "You're staying, right?"

"Staying?"

"Here, in Harris Town."

"I haven't decided."

"Well, at least stay here until we can have a proper burial for Grace." It had been too cold and the ground too frozen to dig a grave. Fortunately, the ice house would serve as a place to preserve her body until the spring thaw. He stood and put his cup in the sink and then started to leave. "Jake, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. Forgive me." She knew her bluntness wasn't always appreciated.

"Nothing to forgive. I'm going out. See you tomorrow."

Jake hated that his beloved wife laid in a coffin in an ice house of all things. She deserved much better, but there was no choice.

He didn't want to stay in town. He wanted to leave and never look back, but if he could make himself do it, he would wait until she was properly laid to rest.

He put his coat on and went out the door. He didn't know where he was going. He just needed to get out. At times, he felt the walls closing in on him.

THE NEXT MORNING, THE AVERY HOUSE

Charlotte and Maddie finished getting the two rooms ready for the Becker family set to arrive on the morning train. Em cleaned the kitchen and baked cinnamon apple pie for dessert. It was making her mouth water. Maybe she would make a few more to take home for after dinner.

"Em, that smells wonderful," Jake said as he walked in the kitchen.

"Thanks, Papa. You're coming for dinner tonight, right?"

"No, sweetie. I think I'll just stay here."

"Papa, I miss you. I know you're sad, but you never come over to see us anymore."

Before he could answer the door opened and the Becker family walked in. Charlotte walked down the stairs to greet them.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Becker? I'm Charlotte Avery. Welcome to the Avery House."

Daniel and Louise Becker smiled, introducing their boys, Evan and Josh.

Em walked in and stopped, her eyes immediately fixed on the taller of the two boys. "Good grief, he's adorable," she thought to herself. At least she prayed she hadn't said anything out loud. No one looked shocked or like they might laugh at her, so she figured she was safe.

Maddie walked down the stairs and saw Em basically drooling over the boys in the parlor.

"Hi, I'm Maddie, this is Emmy."

"Emma. Emma Thornton," Em blurted loudly, not knowing why. No one called her Emma unless she was in trouble.

Maddie shook the parents hands and then the boys. Em stood there, staring. She nudged her with her elbow, but Em didn't move.

"I'm Evan," the shorter one said. "This is Josh."

"Hi," Josh greeted, seemingly a bit shy.

"Josh Becker. Good grief, even his voice is adorable," she again thought to herself.

Maddie glanced at her sister and grabbed her arm. "Come on, Emma," she said with a laugh. "Time to go home."

"No, I need to make more pies."

"We can make them later. Mama wants us home to watch J.T. and Abbie."

ON THE WALK HOME

"Em! What in the world?"

"What?"

"I've never seen you like that before. You were drooling over Josh."

"I wasn't."

"You should wipe your chin." Her hand flew up to her chin, but then realized Maddie was kidding. She poked her rib as she laughed loudly. "Hmmm…Emma Thornton? What was that?"

"My name."

"That no one calls you, ever."

"What's your point, Maddie?"

"I've just never seen you so…whatever you just were."

"I wasn't anything. Let's go faster, or we'll never get home."

Em was positive that the tall, handsome boy with black hair and blue eyes the color of the sky was supposed to be hers one day. She didn't know how she knew or how that would happen but she would do everything she could to see that it did.

THAT EVENING, THORNTON HOUSE

Jake stood on the porch, staring at the door. He was fully intending to pretend he was having a good time, but he also had the urge to head straight back to the boarding house.

He opened the door and walked in, removing his hat and coat.

"Papa! You came," Em said as she came to hug him. "I'm so glad." He smiled at her, forcing it there, when all he wanted to do was cry.

"Hi, Em."

She grabbed his hand and walked him into the living room to sit by the fire.

"Papa!" J.T. said from the pile of blocks he was playing with. "Love Papa." He ran over and climbed up into Jake's arms. "Hug." He wrapped his arms around Papa's neck and stayed there, snuggled against his chest.

It was taking every bit of strength not to burst into tears at his grandson's love and innocence. "Love you too, buddy," he said, his voice cracking.

Elizabeth walked in to check on J.T. "Dad? I'm so glad you came."

He looked up and nodded. She could see he was struggling.

"Jay? Go see Daddy and wash your hands."

"Eat, Mama?"

"Yes, but wash your hands first." He climbed down from Jake's lap and scampered off to wash his hands.

Elizabeth looked at her step-father. "Dad?" She grabbed his hand and pulled him up, wrapping him tightly in a hug. "I love you, you know that?"

He nodded as tears ran down his cheeks.

"Its ok to be sad. I miss her too." They stood holding each other for few moments. "The kids will be happy to see you and Caleb and Amy should be here soon. They leave tomorrow."

A knock sounded at the door. Maddie walked by, knowing it would be Nate behind it.

She smoothed her dress and touched her hair before opening the door. "Hi!" she greeted, a smile on her face.

"Hi, Maddie." He stepped in and gave her a hug. "How are you?"

"A little better now that you're here." She blushed as he kissed her cheek. "I wish we could go for a walk."

"That would be nice." He wished they were just a bit older so they could be alone more, but he knew he just had to be patient.

"What would be nice?" Caleb asked from the doorway.

"Nothing," Maddie said, suddenly embarrassed. "I think it's time to eat."

Later, as Jack said the prayer, they all joined hands. To Jake, it helped him feel part of the family and supported when he needed it the most. To Amy and Caleb, it was like they were reinforcing the ties they had back in Harris Town with their own in Union City. To Nate and Maddie, it felt right to be connected, while they waited to be more than best friends. Finally, to Jack and Elizabeth, it helped them feel the immense love that seemed to overflow when the family was all together. It was overwhelming and wonderful and when they all said, "Amen" in unison, they all felt blessed.

A MONTH LATER, UNION CITY

It was lunch time and Amy was stirring the chili she had just made for Caleb, Patrick, and Sarah.

She rubbed her tummy as she felt a funny pain shoot across the front of her. She had been feeling false labor for the last few weeks, so she assumed that was what it was.

Sarah walked in and sighed. "Amy, let me. You look exhausted." She relinquished the spoon and sat slowly in the chair at the table.

"Thank you, Sarah. I am. It's impossible to get comfortable enough to sleep anymore. Ouch!"

"You ok?" Sarah turned to look at her. "A kick?"

"No, false labor."

"Are you sure?"

"No, but I'm assuming that's what it is."

However when the men showed up for lunch, she started feeling sick to her stomach and the contractions started to become regular. "Everyone, I think we need to get the doctor." Patrick stood up so fast his chair tipped over.

"I'll go!" He ran out the door, leaving it wide open and leaving the three of them laughing at the table.

"He did the same thing when I was in labor. He needs to be doing something or he'll go crazy."

Caleb helped her up from the table. "Let's go lay down."

"Actually, I'd like to walk around as much as I can."

"Are you supposed to? I mean, I think you should lay down."

"Sweetie, trust me, I'll let you know when I want to lay down." She gasped and leaned forward into his arms.

"Are you ok?"

She panted, breathing through her pain, using Caleb's strength as support.

After a few more contractions, her water broke so Caleb took her in their room to help her change.

Amy watched her husband watch her. He looked scared. "Caleb, if you don't want to be in here, Sarah could help me."

"These are my babies. I want to be in here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's just hard to see you in pain." She leaned against him again, breathing and panting, fighting the urge to groan.

She was impressed when all was said and done. He stayed the entire twelve hours she was in labor. He held her hand as she pushed and spoke quietly to her, reassuring her when she doubted she could keep going. What she wasn't aware of, was how terrified he was that something bad would happen to her.

Now, as he sat next to her, holding Mason William in one arm and Meredith Grace, whom they called Meri, in the other, he was at peace and completely overwhelmed with the amount of love he felt for his children and his wife. The terror he had felt was gone.

"I'm going to sleep, sweetie," she mumbled, kissing his cheek.

"Ok, I'll go take them to meet everyone."

"Mmhmm." She was out.

He stood up carefully, and realized he wasn't sure how to open the door since his hands were occupied. He moved Meri slightly higher in his elbow and used the tips of his fingers to open the door. He realized he would need to figure out a lot of things now with two babies.

As he walked slowly out to see Sarah and Patrick, Meri started whimpering and Mason started making sucking noises. He knew enough from his own siblings that they wanted to eat, so he took them back to Amy.

"Ames?" he whispered loudly.

"What?" she muttered.

"Babies are hungry."

"Ok." She sat up with a groan. "Gosh I'm sore."

He waited for her to move again before he handed Mason to her. She took him and set him on her lap so she could unbutton her nightgown. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feed both of them."

"Ma always put each of the boys on a pillow and angled their bodies under her arm so she could support their heads."

He took his pillow and hers, placing them on either side. Then he watched as Mason latched on. Next, he laid Meri on the other pillow and held her up to Amy's chest so she could latch on. Finally they were both settled. "Thank you, Caleb."

He nodded, smiling, and watching his wife feed his children. He knew now why his dad loved doing the same. It was a very intimate thing and he felt closer to Amy than ever before.

"I love you, Amy Thornton," he whispered, not wanting to ruin the peacefulness of the moment.

Amy sat watching her babies eating. They both seemed to have her black hair but they had Caleb's eyes and nose. They were beautiful babies and they were hers. She knew twins would be a huge, amazing adventure, but she vowed to herself right then, to try to be the best Mama she could be. She just wanted them to be happy and have a better childhood than she did.

"Honey? Why the tears?" She didn't realize she'd been crying.

"I guess, I'm overwhelmed and tired and happy, all at the same time." He dried her tears and then kissed her.

"I know what you mean."

HARRIS TOWN, THE AVERY HOUSE

Jake sat at the table around two in the morning, sipping his tea. Charlotte had suggested chamomile to help him sleep, but tonight it wasn't working.

He and Charlotte were friends. That was it. It had only been four weeks since Grace passed and the ground was still too frozen to bury her properly. He had absolutely no intention of getting involved with another woman, especially this soon. Burying two wives was more than he could take. Yet, something about Charlotte stuck in his head and was beginning to do something to his heart as well.

She was leaving the next morning to visit Amy and Caleb. She wanted to see the baby be born. She said she'd be home in a week. A week seemed reasonable, when she first told him, but now, it seemed long.

She and he had gotten into a routine of sorts. Coffee and breakfast together at the boarding house. The Beckers, of course, joined them, and would until they found a home, or built one.

She had become his best friend and he was grateful. They did have a lot in common so they always had something to talk about and now she was going away.

He sat and shook his head at himself. "Maybe it's a good thing she's leaving," he thought. "This is happening way too fast."

A few hours later, Charlotte arrived at the boarding house to make sure things were perfect to leave in Maggie's hands. She would only be gone a week, but it was still her responsibility.

She walked in the kitchen and found Jake asleep at the table, his head on his arms.

She paused for a moment, enjoying the sight of him, trying not to feel guilty that she was attracted. The man had just lost his wife a month before. He was off limits. Even if that wasn't true, she wasn't sure she wanted to be in a relationship so soon either. It hadn't even been a year yet.

"Jake," she whispered, touching his shoulder. He shifted slightly, but stayed asleep. "Jake," she whispered again.

He opened his eyes and groaned a bit. He blinked his eyes to focus and then straightened his neck, rubbing the kink out of it.

"What are you doing down here?" she asked.

"Couldn't sleep. Chamomile usually works, but…"

"What's on your mind, Jake?"

"Nothing." He certainly wasn't going to tell her that she was confusing his heart and mind, making him question his sanity.

"Fine, don't tell me." He chuckled at her bluntness. She was so different. Different than both of his dearly departed wives. What was he thinking?

"I'm leaving now," she said quietly, watching him. Her hand itched to comb his hair with her fingers, fixing the side that was sticking out, but she kept herself under control. "Maggie will be here soon to make breakfast."

He nodded, groaning as he stood, rubbing his lower back. "Say hello to Amy and Caleb for me."

"I will." She wanted to hug him, but thought better of it. "Better to keep a good distance," she told herself. "Ok, see you in a week."

"Bye, Charlotte." He nodded, then walked away to put his cup in the sink.


	9. Chapter 9 - Hope

Em spent extra time on her hair, making sure it wasn't out of place. She turned, looking at herself in the mirror. Somehow, she had changed, almost overnight. Her chest was bigger, her hips looked different, and she didn't hate it. Less than six months and she'd be thirteen and she couldn't wait. Not that anything particularly spectacular happened at thirteen, but it just seemed so much better than twelve. On the other hand, Maddie kissed a boy at thirteen, so maybe something great would happen for her too.

Maddie let her wear the dress she had worn to the dance several months back and it fit perfectly. Her plan was to finally talk to Josh Becker without making a fool of herself. Something about him made her tongue either stop working all together, or she would blurt things out without thinking.

"Em, let's go. We'll be late!" Maddie said, peeking her head in the room.

"I'm coming." She grabbed her history book and followed Maddie down the stairs.

"Em, you look lovely," Elizabeth commented.

"Thanks, Ma."

"Welcome, babe. Have a good day at school."

"We will."

Jack came in the kitchen and kissed Elizabeth good morning. "Morning."

"Morning, Jack."

"Dada!" Abbie squealed from her high chair.

"Hi, Abbie!" He picked her up and kissed her cheeks, making her laugh. "Such a pretty girl, Abbie Joy."

"Speaking of," Elizabeth said. "Em seems to be taking a bit more time getting ready these days. Have you noticed?"

"No, but I hope you aren't suggesting some boy has gotten her attention. I am still struggling with Maddie and Nate."

"Well, she didn't say anything to me, but I heard her talking to Maddie about a new boy, Josh Becker."

"Good grief. I don't know if I can handle Em and a boy."

"On a different topic, Mom leaves for Union City today. Actually, right now."

"That's good. I'm glad she'll be there for the birth."

"Me too."

UNION CITY, O'REILLY HOUSE

"Patrick, would you send these telegrams for me?" Caleb asked, handing two slips of paper to him.

"Sure thing. Can I hold him?" Patrick gestured to Mason, who peacefully slept in Caleb's arms.

"Yes, that would help. I need to get a bath ready for Amy."

He handed him over to Patrick and then went to take care of things in the bedroom.

Amy lay on her side, Meri sleeping next to her. He walked past, deciding to let them sleep as long as possible. He prepared the bath, using her vanilla bath soap and then lit a few candles.

A few moments later, he woke her up. "Ames, your bath is ready." He kissed her cheek and smiled when she opened her eyes. "Hi."

"Thank you for getting the bath ready. I really appreciate it." She sat up slowly, and groaned.

He put both hands under her arms and lifted so she didn't have to use her own strength. When she was standing he smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"What?" she whispered.

"You're so beautiful."

"I don't feel it, but thank you."

"Well you are. You just gave birth to two babies which was amazing, by the way. And watching you feed them is so wonderful." He wrapped his arms around her gently and kissed her. "I love you, Amy Thornton."

"I love you more," she said as she reached for him, kissing him back. "Can you help me get in the tub? I might need you to help me get back out too."

"Of course. Babies are sleeping so it's a good time."

Caleb walked in behind her and shut the door. "Oh, sweetie! This is beautiful."

He smiled and held her arm as she sat down slowly into the hot water.

He looked up as he heard one of the babies cry. "They shouldn't be hungry. Probably just need a new diaper," she told him.

"I'll take care of it. You take as long as you need."

LATE EVENING

Charlotte arrived on the train and asked for directions to the O'Reilly home. Thankfully everyone knew Patrick so it was easy to find someone to help.

Ten minutes after getting directions she knocked on their door.

"Mrs. Avery, come in!" She smiled and walked in as Patrick held the door.

"Thank you. Is that a baby crying?"

"Yes it is. One of your great-grandchildren."

"She had them? I missed the birth?"

"She had them very early this morning. A boy and a girl."

Caleb came out of the bedroom. "Grandma! I'm glad you're here."

"Me too. I'm sorry I missed it, but I can't wait to meet them." She hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"She's feeding them now. Let me tell her you're here."

After a few minutes, Amy decided she didn't care if Charlotte watched her nurse so he told her to go in.

Charlotte walked in to their bedroom taking care to shut the door behind her.

"Hi, sweetheart," Charlotte said quietly.

"Hi, Grandma. I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." She sat on the bed next to Amy and took them in. "They're so beautiful, Amy."

"Thank you."

"Patrick told me you had them this morning?"

"Yes. At around one o'clock. Mason was first and then Meri came a few minutes later."

"Mason and Meri?"

"Yes, Mason William is this one," she nodded to the one closest to Charlotte, "and Meredith Grace, is this one."

"Good names," she said, her voice cracking.

"We wanted them to have Papa and Grandma's names."

"That's very special."

"Can you take him? They need to burp and I haven't figured out quite how to do that at the same time yet."

Charlotte smiled and gently removed Mason from her breast. "Ok, sweet boy. Time to burp for Grandma."

HARRIS TOWN, THORNTON HOME

After a particularly loud dinner, Elizabeth cleaned up the kitchen, enjoying the silence. Jack was helping Maddie give J.T. and Abbie baths so she hummed to herself as she cleaned the counters.

She could hear them laughing in the tub, splashing around, giggles floating all the way to her. Such happiness and innocence with children. They didn't need to worry about anything.

"Mama?" Will said from the doorway.

"Yes, babe? It's almost time for bed."

"Mama, I don't feel good." She looked at him. His color was normal. She felt his head and there was no sign of a fever.

"What doesn't feel good?"

"My tummy."

She sat down at the table and pulled her ten year old son onto her lap. "What are you worried about?"

He sat silently but snuggled into her neck a bit more. "You can tell me." She ran her fingers through his brown curls, hoping he would relax.

"I think I forgot what Papa looked like." She sighed, kissing his cheek. Her poor, sweet boy.

"Come with me." She took him into the living room and opened a chest that was sitting by the arm chair. "I want you to have this, Will. It's Grandma and Papa's wedding picture. You can keep it by your bed, so you won't ever forget him."

Tears rolled down his face. "I miss him, Mama."

"I know, sweetie. Me too." She pulled him down on her lap and wrapped her arms around him. After a few moments, he had relaxed and his breathing had slowed. "It's time for bed, Will."

"Can I stay with you, please?"

"Why don't you help me turn off the lamps first. Then we'll go say goodnight to Daddy."

"I can stay in your room?"

"I suppose."

"Thank you, Mama."

THE NEXT MORNING

Elizabeth was cooking breakfast for everyone when Jack walked in.

"Honey, Travis just brought a telegram."

"What does it say?

"Hey kids! Listen for a second, ok?"

Everyone stopped and looked at him.

FROM: CALEB AND AMY THORNTON

DEAR FAMILY,

MASON WILLIAM AND MEREDITH GRACE BORN HAPPY AND HEALTHY.

CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET THEM.

LOVE AMY AND CALEB

"Twins?" Maddie asked. "That's so exciting!"

Elizabeth smiled and hugged Jack. "Congratulations Papa," she said in his ear.

He chuckled. "You too."

THE AVERY HOUSE

Jake sat quietly at the table, sipping coffee, pretending to read a newspaper. He couldn't concentrate. Charlotte had been gone one day and already he missed their time together in the mornings. Maggie was a fine cook, but Charlotte was a good friend and as far as he was concerned, a week couldn't be over fast enough.

"Mr. Hunt? More coffee?" Maggie had been hovering for a few moments and he hadn't noticed.

"Oh, no thank you." He folded the paper and decided to take a walk to go see Elizabeth. His heart needed some love and her and her children were just the perfect ones to give it to him.

"Mr. Hunt, did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Amy had twins! A boy and a girl."

"That's wonderful. Congratulations Maggie."

"To you too. You're a great-grandfather now."

"I guess I am."

He thought about that. It was a beautiful thing to bring children into the world. Now to have two new little ones in the family…it was great.

He found himself smiling as he walked, thinking about holding them in his arms. The baby smell, clean and fresh. The way they made a person feel as they snuggled close.

At sixty five, he was too old to bring a child of his own into the world, so he would just enjoy the ones his children and grandchildren bore.

He walked up to the door, knocked, and then walked in as Jack was kissing Elizabeth goodbye. "Pardon me."

"Hi, Dad. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Elizabeth asked, a huge smile on her face.

"That it is, sweetheart."

Jack stole one more kiss from her and shook Jake's hand. "Good to see you, Dad."

"You too, son. Have a good day."

"I will, you too."

After Jack left, Elizabeth stared at Jake. He seemed different. "It's good to see you happy, Dad."

"Yes. I heard about the twins and I realized something."

"Oh Yeah? What's that?"

"Children are a gift from God. They bring joy and laughter to our family. I had lost my joy for a bit, and thinking of them and some other things, helped me to be happier again."

She walked over and hugged him. "I'm so glad. Did you hear their names?"

"No. What are they?"

"Mason William and Meredith Grace."

"Good names. Bill and Grace will always be a part of us that way." Elizabeth nodded and kissed his cheek.

AT SCHOOL, LUNCHTIME

Maddie and Nate sat against a fallen tree next to the area where the younger children were playing. Maddie was reading, as usual, and Nate sat there, enjoying her leaning against his shoulder. Every so often he would get a pleasant whiff of her vanilla shampoo. He turned his head slightly and kissed the top of her soft curls.

She looked up and grinned. "What was that for?"

"No reason except your hair smells good."

She slipped her fingers inside his hand and squeezed, and then returned to her book.

"Robinson Crusoe?"

"Yeah. It's a good book."

"What's it about?"

"It's about a man who's shipwrecked and then lives on a desert island."

"That's not the type of book you normally read."

"No, but Will and Drew love it when Dad reads it to them, so I'm giving it a chance. I'm not really that picky." She looked up at him, smiling, her dimples appearing. The wind blew a stray curl out of her braid so he reached out and tucked it behind her ear, loving the softness of her olive skin beneath his fingertips.

"You're so beautiful, Maddie." Her eyes grew wide. He'd never said those words to her before. It made her heart beat faster.

"Thank you, Nate." Even though he said he would wait until her birthday, she was positive, if the bell hadn't rung right then, he would have kissed her and it would have been perfect.

A WEEK LATER, THE AVERY HOUSE

Jake was happy. It had been a week since Charlotte left, so even though she hadn't confirmed it, she should have been coming home.

He looked up when he heard the train whistle. He wondered if anyone was meeting her. Maddie walked in the kitchen about twenty minutes later.

"Hi, Papa."

"Hi, Maddie. Did your Grandma come home today? I heard the train."

"No, she sent a telegram yesterday, I think. She's staying for a few more weeks."

His heart dropped. "Did she say why?"

"No. Sorry."

The plan was to bury Grace the next week out on the ranch. He wanted his best friend there for support. He needed her there.

"Papa, are you ok?"

"Of course. I'm going to take a walk."

"Do you want to walk with me and Nate? Em doesn't like to go as much anymore."

"Why's that?"

"She gets uncomfortable."

"What are you and your young man doing that makes her uncomfortable?"

"Nothing, I promise. She told me that she's jealous and the lovey dovey stuff is not something she wants to watch."

"Like holding hands?"

"Yeah. Like that."

"Well, I'll go with you."

"Thanks Papa. Nate should be here soon."

THE NEXT WEEK

DEAR CHARLOTTE,

TODAY I BURIED MY LOVE, GRACE. IT WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I'VE EVER DONE. I WISH YOU HAD BEEN HERE. YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS AND YOU UNDERSTAND.

BY THE TIME YOU GET HOME, I WILL PROBABLY HAVE MOVED ON. I CAN'T SAY WHERE I'LL GO. HOPE VALLEY AND HARRIS TOWN HOLD TOO MANY MEMORIES FOR ME TO STAY.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I CHERISH OUR FRIENDSHIP AND I ALWAYS WILL.

YOUR FRIEND,

JAKE

Charlotte read the letter three times before she decided she must go home. Losing Jake couldn't happen. Even if nothing happened between them but friendship, she needed him in her life, and so did his grandchildren.

Charlotte said goodbye to the O'Reilly family and Caleb, Amy, and the babies, promising to visit soon.

A day later, she walked into the boarding house hoping and praying he was still there.

"Welcome home Charlotte," Maggie greeted. "Did you have a nice trip?"

"I did." She set her bag down and sat at the table.

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. Is Jake still here?"

"He isn't right now, but I'm expecting him for dinner."

"He didn't move?" She couldn't help the hope in her voice.

"No. I think he is down at the store."

"I'll be back, Maggie."

She ran upstairs to change clothes, putting on one of the only skirts she owned and a clean shirt. She washed the dust from her face and neck, placing a dab of lotion behind each ear. Next she twisted her long, unruly hair, up off her neck and finished with a pair of earrings that Bill bought her in Hope Valley.

"Bill, I hope you know, I'll always love you, sweetheart, but I have to think of myself now." She kissed her finger and touched the photo of him on her dresser. "I'll never forget you." Before she made herself start crying and ruined her attempt at being presentable, she took a deep breath and walked down the stairs.

She walked back into the kitchen. "I'll be back later."

Maggie turned from the stove and gasped. "Charlotte Avery, don't you look lovely?"

"Thank you. I need to go…"

"Find Jake?"

"Am I being stupid?" She suddenly had insecurities about seeing him again.

"Of course not! What are you hoping will happen?"

"I just want him to know that…well I think I just need to find him. See you later, Maggie."

Maggie smiled as she watched Charlotte leave. She'd never seen her so nervous before.

Charlotte walked down the sidewalk, getting more nervous the closer she got to the store.

"Grandma? You're home!" Carlie walked out of the store as she was walking in.

"Hi, sweetie! I missed you."

"I missed you too. How's Caleb and Amy and the babies? I want to see them! When are they coming to visit?"

"Everyone is doing just fine. They will come after Caleb is done with school."

"How long is that?"

"A couple more months."

"Who ya lookin' for?" She had noticed her looking past her in the window of the store.

"No one. Who are you here with?" She hoped it was Jake.

"Em. She's taking forever!"

Charlotte smiled and hugged her granddaughter. "I love you, Carlie."

"I love you too, Grandma." Carlie stepped back and stared at her. "Grandma, you sure look pretty."

"You think so?"

"Yeah and you're wearing a skirt. You always wear pants."

"I thought I would try something different." Charlotte felt herself getting impatient. "Carlie, is Papa in there?"

"No. Maybe he went to see Mama."

"At home?"

"Yeah. He is getting things ready for his trip, but he still goes to see Mama almost every day."

Charlotte walked with Em and Carlie to the ranch, anxious to see Jake. She had to convince him to stay, somehow.

As she walked up to the house, he walked out. "Papa! Grandma's home and she sure looks pretty!" Carlie told him, making Charlotte blush. She never blushed.

"Hush now, go inside," she said, shooing her toward the door.

When they were finally alone, she found herself, strangely, at a loss for words. That never happened either.

"You came home." He stated, walking to the porch railing.

"I did. I got your letter."

He nodded, staring off in the distance.

"Jake, we need to talk. Let's take a walk?"


	10. Chapter 10 - Too Soon

They walked past the house, through the field, and stopped at the pond. When Jack built the house, he added a bench for people to sit on and right this moment, Charlotte and Jake were grateful for that bench.

They sat silently for a moment, and then Jake spoke.

"I wish you had been here. I needed you."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't tell me when the burial was. Why didn't you send me a telegram? I would have come."

"You were supposed to be back by then."

"Jake, plans change. Amy was having a hard time. I needed to be there."

"Is she ok?" Jake felt selfish. Of course Amy needed help.

"She's fine now. The first few weeks are the hardest. In any situation." She watched his face, even though he wasn't facing her. She could see a tear slip down his cheek. "I'm here now. Tell me what you need."

"I need you."

"I'm here." He turned and looked at her. She raised her hand to his handsome cheek, wiping the tear away. "I'm so sorry for what you're going through."

He moved closer. She wasn't sure what to do next, what he wanted, so she wrapped her arms around him and held him.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Elizabeth watched from the kitchen window. She knew Charlotte and Jake had walked to the pond. She had watched them walk and then sit on the bench and now, they were hugging? Her heart broke at the sight. They buried her mother two days before and now he was with someone else.

"Elizabeth?"

She stared at them, now talking, sitting close.

"Honey?" Jack walked over and put his arm around her. "What is it?" He looked out the window, trying to see what she was seeing. "Is that Jake?"

"And your mom," she confirmed.

"I'm glad they have each other. They've been through the same thing."

"You're glad? We just buried my mother two days ago!"

"What do you think is going on, Elizabeth?"

"They were holding each other! What do you think was going on?!"

"Friends can't hug?"

"Of course, but…"

"Sweetheart, you don't know what they are feeling. They have been eating breakfast together every morning since Grace died. They are friends."

"What if they're more?"

"What if they are? Personally, I want them both to be happy. Don't you?"

"Of course. I just don't understand how he could move on so quickly."

"Don't jump to conclusions too quickly. A hug between two friends can be innocent enough."

AT THE POND

"When will you be back?" Charlotte asked, hoping it wouldn't be very long.

"I don't know." That wasn't the answer she was looking for. "I'm going to go take care of things in Hope Valley first."

"Jake, remember the feeling you had when I was gone?"

"Yes, I didn't care for it." He took her hand and stood up.

"That's how I'm going to be feeling, until you come back."

"I know. I'll try to hurry." She nodded and hugged him again, baffled at how much she missed him and he wasn't even gone yet.

"Will you write to me?"

"Of course."

"Promise me you will come back. I have this horrible feeling that I will never see you again."

"I promise. Trust me." Honestly she didn't know him well enough, but the way he said the words, made him sound like he was promising the world so she no choice but to do just that.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Jack waited on the porch for them to return from the pond.

"Hi, Mom, Dad."

"Hi, Jack," Charlotte said.

"Can I talk to both of you?"

"Sure." They sat down on the porch swing and looked up at him. "Go ahead, son. We're listening."

"I know that I may be overstepping here and I know that neither of you owe me an explanation, but…"

"You saw us at the pond?" she guessed.

"More importantly, Elizabeth did."

"Oh dear," Charlotte said quietly. "I'm going to go speak with her."

Before he could stop her, she walked inside to find Elizabeth.

She found her in the living room with Abbie. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Hi." She smiled, but it seemed forced.

"Jack said that you saw me and Jake at the pond?"

"I did but you don't owe me any explanation." Elizabeth stared down at her daughter.

"Maybe not, but I need you to hear me out, ok?"

Elizabeth nodded and looked at her mother-in-law.

"When I lost Tom, I refused to let myself feel anything. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh, I just shut down. It was hard on Jack and Tom. After awhile, I realized that it was a mistake to do that. I caused unnecessary pain to my boys and I was alone for many years after that."

"Mama," Abbie said, noticing Charlotte. She leaned over and reached for her.

Charlotte smiled. "Hi, pretty girl." She hugged her and then continued. "When I lost Bill, I let myself feel all the emotions, overwhelming sadness and anger. I was mad at him for leaving me alone. I loved him so deeply that I lost a big part of myself when I lost him."

"I can't imagine," Elizabeth said.

"Honey, I would never try to dishonor Grace. Jake and I have become good friends and we care about each other. That's as far as it's gone or will go for awhile. He's going to Hope Valley and he isn't sure when he's coming back."

Elizabeth watched Charlotte as she said the last sentence. She could tell she would miss him a lot.

"Mom, I can't pretend to understand what you felt after losing two husbands. I guess that's why you and Jake get along so well. He knows the pain that you went through."

"Yes he does. I won't lie to you. I may be more ready for a relationship than he will ever be. I just know that I like to be with him. I hope he comes back from Hope Valley soon, but for now, we will write letters."

UNION CITY, TWO WEEKS LATER

Caleb put Mason down next to his sister in their cradle. He loved to watch them sleep. Sometimes they would smile, obviously dreaming of something good.

Amy walked in the room wearing her nightgown that she wore throughout her pregnancy. It was huge on her now that she had given birth. She didn't know how to tell Caleb that she wasn't ready to be together yet, other than hiding her newly curvaceous body under a huge nightgown.

She felt physically well enough, but she wasn't sure how she felt about the way she looked.

She slipped under the covers and watched him watching the babies. He was a great father and a wonderful husband. She was lucky.

"Hey," he whispered as he joined her. He kissed her cheek and pulled her close.

"Want to go on a date with me, next week?"

"A date?"

"To the Blue Bird. We haven't been in awhile."

"I can't leave them, Caleb."

"For two hours. That's all." He made it sound so simple but he wasn't the one they needed to feed them.

"What if they need to eat? No one else can feed them."

"Listen, my parents did this all the time. Ma would feed the babies and then immediately leave with Dad. The babies were good for two or three hours. We could do the same thing."

"I don't think so." She rolled over, facing away from him.

"Honey, I miss you."

"It's too soon. I'm sorry." She said it with such finality in her tone, like the conversation was over.

"Fine." He turned over, facing away from her too.

Something in his tone showed his irritation and it bothered her. "Caleb?"

"Yeah."

"Are you mad?"

"Not mad. A little confused and a bit irritated, not mad."

THE NEXT MORNING

Caleb got up early to make breakfast for Amy. He was going to court her, with the intention of getting that date.

He made eggs and toast with butter, adding tea and a flower to the tray. When he walked in the bedroom she was asleep.

He put the tray on her side table and kissed her forehead. "Ames, breakfast is ready."

Her eyes flickered open and she looked at the tray. "You brought me breakfast in bed? Thank you, sweetie."

"You're welcome." He stood up and proceeded to get dressed as she ate.

Meri started fussing so he picked her up and changed her diaper. "Good morning, sweet Meri. Did you sleep well?" She looked up at her Daddy and smiled. "Hi," he greeted again, kissing her cheeks. Next Mason let him know he was ready too, so Caleb put him right next to Meri on the bed and changed him. "Hi, buddy." A few more kisses later and the babies were ready to eat and Amy was done with her breakfast.

"Aren't you going to eat, Caleb?"

"No, I already ate. Gotta go. See you at lunch."

"Hey! Don't I get a kiss goodbye?"

He walked over and kissed her cheek and then left. It made her wonder if maybe he was still irritated about their conversation the night before. "What do you think is going on with Daddy?" she asked the babies.

AT LUNCH

Amy made soup for lunch so when Caleb and Patrick returned, it would be ready. She set the table and then went to check on the twins. They were still asleep so she went to change into a dress that would hopefully catch Caleb's attention.

It was a dress that she wore when she first started showing. It fit her perfectly now, hugging her new body. She decided the night before that she would embrace the way she looked and not hide anymore. She was proud to be the babies Mama and Caleb's wife.

She walked into the kitchen as he was walking in the door. "Hi, Sweetheart," she greeted.

Caleb saw Amy and had to bite his tongue. It was going to be very hard to go with his plan to give her space when all he wanted to do was the opposite.

She deliberately tried to get his attention. When he sat down at the table and she brought his soup, she leaned against him with her hip, smiling down at him for just long enough to distract him thoroughly.

He was grateful that Patrick and Sarah were not in the room, because he took the opportunity to pull her down on his lap. "Ames, you are driving me crazy," he whispered, his breath tickling her neck.

"That was the plan."

"You look beautiful." He lowered his head, capturing her lips with his, his fingers deep in her hair.

Sarah and Patrick walked in the house and smiled, but walked back out, giving them time.

They sat on the porch and enjoyed the beautiful spring weather.

"Remember when we used to be like them, Patrick?"

"Used to be?"

"Well, you know, things change."

"Nothing has changed for me," he told her, grabbing her hand. "Except that I love you more now than I did before."

"That was sweet." She kissed his cheek and smiled. "All I meant was, the way we used to take every moment we could to be together. We just have different responsibilities now."

"True, but are you happy, dear one?"

"Yes, extremely happy. I wouldn't change a single thing."

"Good answer." He kissed her softly and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you."

BACK INSIDE

Mason and Meri started crying, interrupting their parents.

"So, about that date," Caleb said as he followed her into their bedroom.

"I don't want to leave them, Caleb."

"When can we have time to ourselves? It's been five weeks since they were born and months since we've been on a date."

"I need more time." She did it again. She ended the conversation with her words which irritated him, again.

He walked out of the room to go eat his lunch. What he wouldn't do for some advice from his mother, right then.

HOPE VALLEY

Jake walked home from the mercantile with another letter from Charlotte. He had been home for ten days and already, she had written twice. Before he got home, he decided to walk to the pond where Caleb and Amy were married and read the letter.

DEAR JAKE,

IT'S AWFULLY QUIET AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE WITHOUT YOU, UNTIL THE BECKERS JOIN ME.

SPEAKING OF THE BECKERS, DANIEL BOUGHT JACK AND ELIZABETH'S OLD HOUSE SO THEY WILL BE MOVING THERE IN A FEW DAYS, THEN I REALLY WILL HAVE QUIET.

I'M PRETTY SURE OUR GRANDDAUGHTER EMMY IS SWEET ON THEIR OLDEST, JOSH. UNFORTUNATELY, JOSH IS SO SHY IT MIGHT TAKE A WHILE BEFORE HE SHOWS INTEREST IN HER. KNOWING EM, THAT WON'T STOP HER FROM TRYING TO GET HIM TO COME OUT OF HIS SHELL.

DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE HOME FOR MADDIE'S BIRTHDAY? I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE SHE WILL BE FOURTEEN. I REMEMBER WHEN THAT LOVELY DEAR WAS BORN. SHE WAS JUST AS BEAUTIFUL THEN AS SHE IS NOW.

WELL, I NEED TO GET TO BED NOW.

I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR NEXT LETTER AND I HOPE YOU COME HOME SOON.

LOVE,

CHARLOTTE

Jake walked in the house, placing the other mail on the table in the kitchen.

"Papa! You're home," Sophie said quietly.

"Hi, Sweetheart. Where is everyone?"

"Taking a nap."

"Why aren't you taking one too?"

"Not sleepy. Will you read to me?"

"Of course, Soph. Let's go." He followed her into her room and joined her on her bed. Ten minutes later, she was out. He kissed her softly on the forehead and left the room.

As he entered his own room, sadness overtook him. It happened every time. The memories he had with Grace would always be a part of him, but in that room, in that house, in that town, he struggled. He knew he couldn't stay there any longer than necessary to draw up the papers to sell the home to Tom and pack his things.

UNION CITY, O'REILLY HOUSE, NEXT MORNING

Amy laid next to Caleb, watching him sleep. She knew he was frustrated and she didn't know how to make him understand her point of view. She didn't feel good about leaving the babies yet. It made her uneasy. They still relied on her for so much and she was the only one who could feed them.

She got up, threw her robe on, and shuffled quietly out to make coffee.

"Amy?"

"Oh! Sarah, you scared me."

"Sorry, dear. I've been up for awhile."

"Can't sleep?"

"I got up with Patrick. He left early to go to Regina. Seems like a long way to go to deliver paperwork."

"Have you ever been there?"

"No, but Patrick went to the Academy there. He says it's a big bustling city, much like this one."

Amy nodded, sipping her coffee that Sarah made.

"Something bothering you, Amy?

"A few things, yes."

"I'll listen if you want to tell me."

She thought about it for a moment. "It's ok. Something Caleb and I need to sort out."

"I understand. Just so you know, from what we accidentally saw yesterday, you two seem to be just fine."

Amy's cheeks turned pink. "You saw?"

"We walked in…I'm sorry about that."

"No need to apologize. It's your home. We should be more careful."

"It's your home too, and he's your husband. Feel free to be affectionate." Sarah stood to go wake the kids. "Just talk to him and tell him what's bothering you. Sometimes, it's as simple as talking it out. In fact, does Caleb have class today?"

"No, why?"

"I'm going to take the kids to school and run some errands. You take a few hours and talk to each other. I'll see you at lunch."

"You don't have to do that, Sarah."

"I need some time to myself. This is the perfect opportunity for both of us."

About an hour later, Sarah, Fiona, and Aiden left the house. Amy fed the babies and then took Caleb's hand, leading him to the kitchen. "Where are we going?"

"I'm going to make you breakfast. What would you like?"

"I'm not really hungry. I think I'll head in to post a telegram." He started walking away but she took his hand.

"Caleb Thornton. Look at me." He looked down at her, his resolve weakening.

"We have time to spend together right now. No one is here but us, for three more hours." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "We need to sort some things out."

She took him to the couch and sat next to him. "Our date," she started.

"What date? You don't seem to want to go."

"That's not it. The first time you asked me, I was nervous about leaving the twins, but also, I was nervous about being with you again."

"With me? Why?"

"I don't just mean out on a date. I didn't like the way I looked and I was…am…nervous about what would happen after the date."

"Ames, first of all, this is me, Caleb. You know I love everything about you and I would never push you to do something you're not ready for. In fact yesterday, my plan was to give you space, but you walked out in that dress….well, the last thing I wanted was space."

Amy laughed. "Yeah, I thought that might catch your attention."

"My goodness, babe. You look amazing."

"Even with these hips?…I just look so…"

"Gorgeous? Beautiful? Breathtaking. I've never been more attracted to you than I am right now. The two reasons that you look like you do, are the two most wonderful things in my life, besides you."

"You are a very sweet man, Caleb." He pulled her onto his lap, holding her tight.

"I love you, with all of my heart." She took his face in her hands and kissed him, lingering as she enjoyed the soft warmth of his mouth on hers. "I've missed you, love."

HARRIS TOWN

DEAR CHARLOTTE,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LETTERS. I LOOK FORWARD TO READING THEM BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL CLOSER TO YOU AND OUR FAMILY.

BEING HERE IS EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME. I HAVE STARTED STAYING AT THE SALOON BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP ALONE IN THE ROOM I USED TO SHARE WITH GRACE. IT'S SO HARD AND JULIE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT IT WILL GET BETTER, BUT IT DOESN'T. THIS TELLS ME THAT I DON'T BELONG HERE ANYMORE. I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHERE I BELONG, BUT I GUESS WE WILL SEE.

I MISS TALKING TO YOU, BUT SINCE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY RIGHT NOW, I'LL SETTLE FOR LETTERS.

TAKE CARE,

Jake

She could hear the sadness on his writing. She wished he was home so she could hold him. She needed him, plain and simple, and it sounded like he needed her too.


	11. Chapter 11 - Plans

DEAR JAKE,

I'M SORRY YOU'RE HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME. PLEASE KNOW THAT IT WILL GET EASIER, AS JULIE SAYS. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE IT HAS FOR ME. I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE I LOST HIM.

I MADE UP MY MIND NOT THAT LONG AGO TO MOVE FORWARD AND THINK OF MYSELF INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT WHAT BILL WOULD THINK. THE ONE THING I KNOW FOR A CERTAINTY IS THAT HE WOULD WANT ME TO BE HAPPY.

WHETHER I'M BEING TOO BOLD OR NOT, YOU BE THE JUDGE, BUT I NEED TO SAY THAT YOU MAKE ME HAPPY, JAKE, AND I MISS YOU TERRIBLY. PLEASE COME HOME SOON.

LOVE

Charlotte

When Jake finished the letter, he felt guilt and sadness but he felt better that he knew she felt that way about him. It was only two months since he lost Grace, and his intention was to go slow, but he knew Charlotte made him feel a measure of happiness and comfort, and that's what he craved.

He walked to the house he used to call home to go say goodbye to his family. He wanted to be there for Maddie's birthday and he needed to feel happy for a change.

"Papa! You're home."

"Hi, Sophie. Give me a hug, sweetie." She ran over and hugged him.

"I missed you, Papa."

He picked her up, holding her close. "I love you, Sweetheart."

"Papa are you leaving us?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I heard Mama and Daddy talking."

"Yes, sweetie. I'm moving to Harris Town."

"Why?"

He didn't know how to explain it to her. It turned out, he didn't need to.

"You miss Grandma."

"Yes, very much. I'm going to miss you so much, Sophie."

The rest of the evening, Jake packed the things he wanted to move, and sadly, went through Grace's things as well. He couldn't bring himself to keep much but her wedding ring hung around his neck.

A WEEK LATER, HARRIS TOWN

Maddie woke up to Em nudging her. "Maddie, time for breakfast."

"Five more minutes. On second thought, it's my birthday, I should get an extra hour."

"Nope! You need to get up." Em pulled her arm, helping her out of bed. She watched her get ready to leave the room in her nightgown but stopped her.

"Maddie, you should probably get dressed."

"Why?"

"You don't want Nate to see you in your nightgown, do you?"

"Nate is here?"

"Yes."

She perked up a bit, her cheeks turning pink. She silently dressed, daydreaming about what the day was going to bring. He refused to give her any hints about what he had planned.

"Do I look ok?"

"You always look perfect. I don't know why you ever worry."

"That was a nice thing to say, even though it's completely untrue."

"Have I ever lied to you, Maddie?"

"No of course not."

"My point exactly. Now, let's go to breakfast." She grabbed her arm and led her to the kitchen.

"Happy birthday!" everyone shouted.

"Thank you."

Nate walked up to her and just gave her a quick hug, since everyone was watching. "Morning."

"Morning, Nate. I didn't know you would be here this morning."

"That was your parents idea."

She looked at them. "Well, we figured, before we let Nate whisk you off on your date, we wanted to spend time with both of you," Jack said.

"Date?" She looked back at Nate.

"You'll find out more later, but we are going out for lunch to start with."

She smiled. "Who's coming with us?"

"No one," Nate responded.

"It's ok, Maddie. You will be in public. You both have earned our trust."

She couldn't believe her father had said those words. The day was going to be wonderful, she could tell.

Her dad made banana pancakes for breakfast with maple syrup and bacon on the side. It was her favorite. After, they all played games and talked.

A few hours later, it was time for Nate and Maddie to leave.

As they walked out the door into the warm sunshine, he grabbed her hand and they started toward town. "So we're going to lunch?"

"Yes, to the restaurant."

After they were finally alone, finally far enough away from her house, she stopped walking and turned to him. "Nate."

"Maddie." She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I'm glad you're with me today."

"Of course I am."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek, lingering for a moment. He pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

The need to kiss her overwhelmed him. He'd forced himself to wait until her birthday. It would have been easier had they not kissed before, because after the first kiss they shared, he knew what he was missing.

She leaned back a moment and looked into his eyes. He briefly looked at her and then gazed at her lips.

He slowly lowered his head. "I love you, Maddie." She smiled and then waited for him to kiss her this time. It had been worth the wait.

As he kissed her, his hands moved up to her face, keeping her there, not that she wanted to move at all. She pulled him closer by wrapping her arms around him tighter.

Because breathing was necessary, she pulled back and buried her face in his shoulder. "I love you too, Nate."

"Lets go eat," he suggested, keeping his arm around her as they walked side by side.

TRAIN DEPOT

The train pulled into town that afternoon. Jake got off, retrieved his bags and went to the boarding house. As he was walking, he saw Nate and Maddie walking hand in hand.

"Papa!" Maddie ran up to him and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're back."

"Hi, Sweetheart, happy birthday."

"Thank you! It's been good so far." She looked back at Nate and smiled.

"Where are you headed?"

"Nate is taking me to lunch."

"Well, where's Em?"

"At home. Dad gave us permission."

Jake walked over and shook Nate's hand. "Nathan, good to see you."

"You too, sir."

"Take care of my granddaughter."

"I will. I promise." Maddie walked up and kissed her Grandpa's cheek.

"Are you coming for dinner, Papa?"

"I'll be there." The young couple watched him walk away and then continued to the restaurant.

THE BOARDING HOUSE

Charlotte was making a cake for Maddie when she heard the door open and footsteps come into the room. "I'll be right with you."

"Charlotte."

She stopped stirring and turned around. "Jake, you're home."

"I am." He walked over and took the spoon out of her hands. He wiped her hands with a towel and then pulled her into his arms.

"I missed you so much," she muttered into his shoulder. They held each other for a few long moments and then Charlotte pulled back to wipe her eyes.

"Why the tears, Charlotte?"

"I'm just glad you're here," she whispered. "It's been so quiet." She had been very lonely at the boarding house since the Beckers moved.

He took a chance and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Do you have an empty room for me?"

"You can take your pick."

"Charlotte, will you go with me to Maddie's dinner tonight?"

"With you, like, we would be together?"

"Only if you want to. If it's too soon, I understand."

"Isn't it too soon? I mean, what are we saying about our relationship if we go together?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the table to sit. "I would be saying that I care about you and want to be with you. What do you want us to be saying?"

Charlotte covered their hands with her other one, and thought about it. "You can tell me anything, Charlotte."

"Elizabeth may be upset if we move too fast, and I don't want anyone to take offense."

"What do you think, though?"

"I don't know."

"Ok. Well I don't want to push."

"You're not and I do know how I feel. I just didn't want to be too forward."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but when has that stopped you before?"

"Good point. Bill always told me I was bold."

"I like that about you." He winked at her, causing her to blush.

"Talk about bold. Are you flirting with me Jacob Hunt?"

"Perhaps, perhaps not. I'll let you draw your own conclusion. Now, which room would you liked me to stay in?"

"Room three is ready."

"Ok, thank you. I would love a cup of coffee when I come back down."

"It'll be ready."

AN HOUR LATER

Nate grabbed her hand as they walked to her parents house. In his opinion, the day couldn't have gone better.

The kiss was perfect and he had told her he loved her. Most people, including their parents, would say they were too young to know love, but he knew with a certainty that's what he felt. They had been friends since he moved to town and he felt like he had loved her for most of that time.

She was kind and thoughtful. She loved her family and would do anything for them. She was quiet but she had emotions that bubbled to the surface, now and then. Everything about her was beautiful, inside and out.

"What are you thinking about? You're awfully quiet."

"You."

"Me?" Her cheeks blushed that pretty pink color he loved.

"Yeah. You're always on my mind."

"I think about you a lot too, Nate."

He dropped her hand and put his arm around her back. She slipped hers around his waist and smiled when he kissed her temple. "It was nice being alone with you today, Maddie."

"Yes it was. I can't believe Dad let us. He's so strict sometimes, but he surprised me today."

"Maybe not strict. I think he's being protective."

"I suppose."

"Think about it. You're his oldest daughter and you told me you have always had a very close relationship with him, right?"

"Yeah. Mom thinks he is afraid of losing me."

"He feels you growing up and doing things on your own. I think I would be that way with my children too."

"You want children, Nate?"

"Some day, yes. It might be awhile before my plans allow for a family, but I can see myself with kids."

Her heart plummeted. How long was awhile? What plans? He'd never mentioned anything before.

"Maddie? What's wrong?" She stopped walking and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Nothing. Let's go home."

"Maddie, talk to me." He stopped her and looked her in the eye.

"Nothing's wrong, really. I guess I just assumed that we….i mean, what are your plans? You never told me about them."

"Well, this summer, my Uncle Paul in Deer Falls, invited me to work on his ranch."

"The whole summer?" She felt her emotions taking hold of her. She wanted them to spend the summer together.

"Yeah. I wasn't going to tell you today. I had a feeling you might get upset and I wanted your birthday to be perfect."

"It has been." Until now.

"Then after I graduate next summer, I'm going to help Dad on his ranch. He told me that after I graduate, he would give me a job with him as long as I go to college for a year to learn about how to run a business."

She nodded, looking off to the distance, feeling her future getting further away.

"He said, if I work for him for five years after college, he will make me a partner, deeding me half the ranch. I'll own half a ranch by the time I'm twenty one."

"Five years!"

"Maddie, it sounds like a lot, I know."

"I don't want to wait five years!"

"Wait? For what?"

"For you…I mean…I need to go home."

She walked away, aware that he was standing in the middle of the road, watching her walk away from him. How could she have not known what his plans were? How could she let herself fall for him, assuming they would get married within two years?

By the time she got home, she was in tears. Em was on the porch and saw her walking up, crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Em stood up and hugged her. "You didn't have a good date?"

"It was perfect!"

"Then why are you crying?"

"Five years," she muttered. "Why did I let myself fall for him, Em?"

"What's five years?"

"Nevermind. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Of course it matters."

"No. I'm going to lay down. I don't feel well."

"Maddie!" Nate called from down the driveway. "Good grief you walk fast." He jogged up to them. "Maddie, can you please tell me what's going on?"

Em grabbed her hand. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, it's ok."

"You be nice to my sister," Em said to Nate.

"Em!"

Em walked away leaving them alone.

Maddie wiped her eyes and sat on the swing. He sat down next to her. "What did I say that upset you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me." He took her fingers and kissed them. "I wasn't lying when I told you that I love you."

"I love you too." Her tears started again.

"Maddie, tell me."

"It just threw me when you said five years. I don't want to wait that long. I'm sorry if that make me sounds like I'm spoiled."

"Five years to do what?"

"To be married."

"We haven't really talked about getting married."

"No, I guess I just assumed because we love each other…I'm sorry. Maybe I was wrong to do that."

She stood up to walk away but he grabbed her hand.

"Maddie, please wait. We haven't talked about it. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about it." She nodded. "I have a plan."

"You and your plans."

"You liked my plan for today didn't you?"

"Yes." She blushed again. "It was perfect."

"Then trust me." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "When it's time to move forward, it will be perfect too."

UNION CITY

"Honey? Do you want to celebrate our anniversary here at the Blue Bird or wait until we get to Harris Town?" Caleb asked.

"If we do it here, it won't be on our actual anniversary because we will already be in Harris Town by then, but, on the other hand, one last time at the Blue Bird would be nice."

"We could do both, Ames."

"We could." She was coming around to the idea of the babies staying behind while they went out.

"Tomorrow night? Sarah offered to watch the twins." He walked over to her, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Ok, let's go out."

"Great! I'll go tell Sarah."

She chuckled at how excited he was. She understood because it had been six weeks of babies and school with no extra time to just be with each other. Truth was, she missed their life before babies, even though she loved them with her whole heart.

She wondered how in the world Jack and Elizabeth found time for each other with seven children still at home.

HARRIS TOWN

Elizabeth slipped her dress on, buttoning the buttons and turning to look at the back.

"You look perfect, sweetheart, as always."

"If you say so."

"I do." She had to admit her almost thirty seven year old body looked pretty good after having seven babies. Her hips were wider than when she first married Jack and her stomach wasn't nearly as flat as it had been, but she was thin and she was healthy.

He walked up behind her, smiling at her in the mirror. "What are you looking at?"

"Just me. I've changed a bit in fifteen years."

"Maybe a little." He put his hands on her hips. "You still have nice hips." He kissed her cheek and then moving her hair, he moved down to her neck, spending a little time just below her ear, giving her goosebumps.

She kissed him, tickling his lips with hers. "I have an idea."

"So do I." He wrapped her tightly in his arms and returned her kisses.

"I think, we should have Mom watch the kids while we stay at the boarding house on our anniversary."

"You read my mind."

"Mom!" Drew called from downstairs. "Something's burning."

"No! It better not be my chicken!" She ran out of the room leaving Jack shaking his head.

"Some things never change," he said to himself.


	12. Chapter 12 - Love

"Em! A new bracelet? It's so pretty. Thank you!" Maddie hugged her sister.

"I have one too." She held her wrist up next to Maddie's. "It's because you're my best friend. This way you'll never forget me if you leave me some day."

"I'll never forget you. You're not just my best friend. Sisters are always sisters, no matter what."

"Love you Maddie."

"Love you."

The whole day had been great, even with Maddie's misunderstanding with Nate. Dinner wasn't burned, like Elizabeth feared it might be and Papa and Grandma were there as well.

Just when she thought it was over, Nate reached under the table by the couch and pulled out his gift.

"I have one more thing to give you," he said quietly. She looked at him in surprise.

"You didn't have to, Nate. Today was perfect already." He nodded and watched her open the box.

"Oh! I love it. Thank you." She kissed his cheek and smiled.

"Pride and Prejudice? Don't you have that book already?" Drew wondered.

"Yes, but this one's better. I can't wait to read it." Yes, she'd read it probably a hundred times, but it meant so much because it was from his heart to hers.

Jake sat next to Charlotte watching Maddie open presents. He grabbed her hand discreetly and squeezed and then let go. He wasn't aware Elizabeth was watching.

Elizabeth looked away and then abruptly announced it was bath time. She walked out with Abbie holding on to her one finger and J.T. on her other side.

"I guess I should go," Nate suggested, standing up.

Maddie stood up too. "I'll walk you out."

"Don't be long, Maddie. Mom needs help with baths," Jack told her.

"Ok. I'll just be one minute." She followed Nate to the porch. "Thank you so much for today."

He quickly took her in his arms. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

She kissed his cheek and smiled as he walked away. "I'll be there."

LIVING ROOM

Jake and Charlotte sat chatting on the couch in the living room. "I'm glad you're here," he told her.

"Of course I am. She's my granddaughter too."

"No, I mean here, next to me." She turned slightly and looked in his amazingly blue eyes.

"Me too."

He took her fingers and held them tight. "Papa?" Carlie said, breaking the spell Charlotte had on him.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Is Bug gonna marry Nate?" His eyes moved back to Charlotte's.

"Why do you ask?"

"I think she loves him. He just hugged her like Daddy hugs Mama and she kissed his cheek."

"Well, Carlie, there is more to being married than those things." She climbed up and sat on his lap.

"Like holding hands?" she asked innocently.

Charlotte squeezed his hand and smiled, curious to hear how he would answer.

"Well, yes. When you love someone, you always want to be with them and they make you happy. But more than that, they help you through the sad times too."

He winked at Charlotte.

"Like when Grandma died and you were sad?"

"Yes, just like that." She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you Papa."

"I love you right back." He kissed her cheek and held her tight.

"Carlie! Bath time," Elizabeth called from the bathroom. Carlie kissed him again and then scampered off.

Charlotte stared at him as he looked at their hands. "Charlotte, thank you so much for being there for me these last couple months. It meant so much to me."

She reached up and touched his cheek. "I needed you just as much, Jake." He pressed her open palm to his lips.

He kept her hand there for a moment. "I didn't think it would happen this fast," he whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

"Jake, we don't need to rush things. I am a very patient woman."

He sat forward, his head in his hands, obviously distraught.

"Dad? What's wrong?" Jack asked as he wandered in the room with J.T.

"I need to go." He stood up and nodded at Jack as he walked out.

Jake walked off the porch, through the field, to the tree under which he had buried Grace. He found the spot easily. He sat silently for a few moments and then he spoke.

"Sweetheart, I still can't believe you've been gone three months already. I missed you so much, but I couldn't grieve alone. Charlotte helped me through it and I'm so grateful for her understanding, and honestly, I think she saved me. As much as it pains me, I think I love her. I don't think I'm ready for that, but it's there, under the surface. I know that you would only want me to be happy and she does that." He paused, wiping his cheeks. "She's so different then you, in many ways. I never want to forget you and I promise you, I won't." He took off the necklace that held their wedding rings, kissing them and putting them on her marker. "I'll love you forever, Grace."

An hour later, he knocked on their door again.

"Dad, come in." Jack invited.

"I need to see Charlotte. Is she still awake?"

"She's in the kitchen."

"Jack, I'm planning a trip to Union City to Caleb's graduation and to see the babies. Do you think Elizabeth would like to go?"

"I can ask her." Jake nodded and then went to the kitchen.

KITCHEN

"Do you want tea, Jake?" she asked, without even turning around. She knew it was him.

"Sure."

She brought him a cup and poured the tea. "Are you ok?"

"Yes. I'm sorry that I left before. I should have given an explanation." She sat down and sipped her tea. "Charlotte, I'm going to leave for a few weeks. I need to get my heart and head in the same place."

"Where will you go?" Her cursed emotions threatened to get the better of her again, so she stared at her cup instead of him.

"Union City to see Caleb and Amy and the babies. I want Elizabeth to go with me."

She nodded and stood up to wash her cup. "When do you go?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"Have a good trip." She couldn't look at him. He took her hand.

"Hey, look at me. Why the tears?"

"I'm losing you, aren't I?" It hurt her to think about, but it felt like that's what was happening.

"No. Charlotte, you said you were very patient."

"I lied! I'm not patient. Where do you think Em gets it from?"

Jake laughed and then kissed her cheek. "I'm not leaving you. I will even bring them back with me for a few weeks before he needs to be at The Academy."

"Promise?" She felt like a child, but she couldn't help loving the man who stood in front of her.

"You always worry this much?" He tucked her long hair behind her ear, leaving his hand on her cheek for a moment.

"It's a bad habit since losing two husbands."

"I'll be back." She sighed and then hugged him. "You're not losing me."

UPSTAIRS

"Do you want to go?" Jack asked her.

"Yes, I miss Caleb so much."

Jack touched her shoulder and rolled her over. "What's bothering you? Jake and Mom?"

"It doesn't matter."

"You know what does matter?"

"What?"

"I want everyone that I know, every single person, to have the kind of love that you and I have. It is so amazingly powerful and wonderful and everyone should experience it."

She grabbed his face with her hands and brought his lips to hers. "You are the sweetest man I know, Jack Thornton."

"But?"

"I am not ok with how fast their relationship is going. It's only been three months. It's not long enough."

"You may not like what I'm about to say…"

"You are going to say that it's not up to me how quickly they go. That's it's their life not mine?"

"Exactly. I want my mom to be happy and I can see that Jake makes her happy. He's a good man."

"I know he is. She's a good woman."

"They deserve another chance, don't you think?"

Elizabeth stood up and slipped her robe on. "I am going to make tea."

DOWNSTAIRS

She walked into the kitchen not expecting Jake and Charlotte to be there.

"Hi, sweetie," Charlotte greeted.

"Hi, Mom. I'm sorry to interrupt, I'll just go back to bed."

"Elizabeth, please don't go. There's tea on the stove."

"I'm going to go," Jake offered. "Did you want to go with me to Union City, Beth?"

"I would like to, yes."

"Ok, I'll see you both tomorrow and we'll make plans." Elizabeth nodded and averted her eyes as Jake kissed Charlotte's cheek. He then kissed Elizabeth as well. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night Dad."

Charlotte watched Elizabeth pour tea into a cup and sip it as she looked out the window toward the field.

"Elizabeth."

"Mom, I can't do this tonight. I'm sorry." She took her cup and started to leave.

"I'll always love Bill, you know?"

"I know."

"I didn't plan this, but I can't help the way I feel, either."

"Mom, it's not my business."

"Of course it is. He's your step-father. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Elizabeth. You are my daughter, as far as I'm concerned. I love you so much."

"I love you too." She reached out and hugged Charlotte. "She was my mother," Elizabeth said in between sobs. "But so are you."

"She will always, always be your mother, and that man, will always hold a place in his heart for her."

THE NEXT MORNING

Jake walked downstairs to make himself some coffee but it was already done.

"Coffee?" Charlotte asked, a grin on her face.

"Please." She poured him a cup and kissed his cheek as she handed it to him.

"Morning."

"Morning, Charlotte." He would miss this wonderful familiarity they had, the comfortable friendship, the occasional flirtation. His time in Union City was meant to clear up the hesitation he had about starting a relationship. His heart and his head were not in agreement and that was difficult to deal with.

She watched him sit down, picking up the newspaper. The same thing he did every morning. She would miss it. She would miss him. His blue eyes, his gray hair, mixed with white strands, always brushed neatly. She would miss the wink he gave her when he flirted or joked and how he always dressed nicely, no matter the occasion.

He looked up and she was staring at him, an expression on her face that betrayed her feelings.

"Hey, come here." He held his hand out for her to take, which she did as she sat next to him.

"How long will you be away?" He had already answered that question the night before, but he would do it a hundred more times, if it helped her feel better about it.

"Two weeks." He kissed the back of her hand. "I'll miss you," he confessed.

She reached for him and held him tightly, her face buried deep in his neck. "You smell wonderful," she whispered.

When she pulled back, she touched his face, as if memorizing every inch. She loved him but she would let him say it first, whenever he was ready.

"I need to get some things done. I'll see you here for dinner?"

"Sure. That would be nice."

UNION CITY, THAT EVENING

Caleb looked up as Amy walked in the room. He smiled and walked over to her.

"You look beautiful, Ames. Happy Anniversary." He kissed her gently and pulled her close.

"Happy Anniversary, Caleb." She stepped back, her eyes filling with tears.

"Sarah? The babies just ate…"

"Amy, please don't worry. They will be just fine. I know this is hard."

Amy nodded and then looked at Caleb. "Lets go before I talk myself out of leaving."

He opened the door for her and then took her hand, leading her into town and down the path to the river to watch the sunset.

When they reached the water, she gasped at the colors. "It's amazing." The oranges and reds mixed, making it look like the sky was on fire. She realized it had been a long time since she had taken the time to watch the sunset. She looked up at her husband and smiled. "Love you," she whispered.

"Love you, honey." He tilted her chin up so their lips could meet, briefly. "I'm so happy you came with me tonight."

"Me too." They headed to the café a few moments later, after the sky turned to lighter shades of pink and blue and finally darkened.

They sat across from each other at a table in the back. "Caleb and Amy! Good to see you both tonight," the waitress said as she filled their water glasses. "What's the occasion? You both look very nice."

"Our anniversary," Caleb said as he took Amy's hand.

"Oh! Happy Anniversary. How are those babies?"

"Getting big. Six weeks old now," Amy told her.

"Wow, I would love to see them before you move. Well, do you both want the usual?"

"Yes, please," the both responded.

He got up and moved to the chair next to her. He always had the intention of sitting across from her, but every single time he started there, he changed his mind and moved next to her. "I was wondering how long it would take you to move over here," she said with a wink. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her slowly.

"This is nice," he whispered, staring deep in her blue eyes. "I've missed you, Ames."

She agreed. Sitting as close as they were right then, reminded her that they had been so busy with life, they had forgotten how to be together, just the two of them.

"Sweetie, we need to make sure we always make time for just us. I know how important that is now and I'm sorry that I put that off."

"When we get to Harris Town, we are going to go out, once each week. I'm sure my parents, or yours would love to watch them."

"Deal."

The rest of their meal was perfect and very romantic. "We should probably head home," he mentioned.

When they walked in the door, all was quiet. Sarah was in their room, rocking the babies.

She rocked, trying to ignore the nagging need she felt to have another baby of her own. She kissed their soft heads and inhaled their baby scent.

"Sarah, we're home," they said quietly.

"Hi," she said with a forced smile. She wiped her eyes and stood up.

"Are you ok?"

"Of course." Amy took Meri and Caleb took Mason.

Sarah walked out to the kitchen to make tea. "Caleb, can you take her? I'm going to go thank Sarah."

He held his free arm out and took his daughter. "Hi, pretty girl. Daddy's got you."

Amy smiled as she walked away, listening to him talk to his children.

KITCHEN

Sarah sniffed and wiped her cheeks as she watched her tea pot. "Sarah? What's wrong?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, sweetie. Especially on your anniversary night."

"Sarah, I'm just guessing here but you miss Patrick and you want a baby?"

"How did you know…?"

"Like I said, just a guess."

"I suppose being around your babies so much is making me want one."

"You're still young. How old are you?"

"Thirty eight. But it's been seven, almost eight years."

"Stay positive and talk to Patrick about it. I'm sure it will help when you get your house back too." She winked at her and gave her a hug. "Night Sarah."

"Night Amy."

THE NEXT MORNING

Amy stirred the eggs, adding cheese to them as an extra treat for Caleb. She felt his arms wrap around her from behind. "Morning, honey." He kissed her cheek and held her tight against his chest.

"Morning. I'm making you breakfast."

"I appreciate that. Need to be able to concentrate on my last day of school."

"I'm pretty sure, you will be the only thing on my mind today, Sweetheart." She turned and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Meri's crying," Sarah told them.

"I'll get her," Caleb offered.

"Sarah, I want to thank you for watching the babies last night."

"It was my pleasure, Amy. Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes, it was wonderful." Her cheeks heated and she hoped Sarah didn't see.

"That's good."

EARLY AFTERNOON, HARRIS TOWN

"Mama! Me go! Pease?" Jay had just figured out Elizabeth was leaving and he was having a hard time. Big tears rolled down his face as he looked up at Elizabeth.

"Jay, shh." She picked him up and held him close, rubbing his back. "I won't be gone long, I promise."

"No, Mama, pease. Sad."

"Shhhh…you get to stay with Grandma and Me Me. Won't that be fun?"

Maddie walked over to him when she heard the nickname he had for her. "Hey, buddy."

"Mama no go!" Maddie kissed his forehead.

"Come see me, Jay." After a few tries, he finally gave in and wrapped himself around Maddie, still crying, but a bit calmer. "Bye, Mama. See you soon." She kissed Elizabeth's cheek and then walked to the boarding house.

A few moments later, Jack stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, babe."

"I love you." They looked up as the train whistle blew.

Jake walked up with a bag on his arm. "Sorry, I'm late."

"Its ok, Dad." She reached for Abbie who was in Em's arms. She looked at Em who also seemed to be struggling. "Sweetie, you ok?"

"Sure."

"Why the tears?"

"I'm going to miss you. Something feels wrong when you leave us."

"I'm not leaving you, babe. I'm coming back in two weeks. Caleb and Amy and the babies and Papa are all coming with me."

"All aboard!" the conductor called. Elizabeth reached for Em.

"I love you. Please help with Carlie and Jay."

"I will." She held on extra tight, not wanting her to walk away. "To the moon and back, Mama."

Elizabeth kissed the twins quickly and then took an extra moment to kiss Jack once more. "See you soon." She turned, carrying Abbie, and followed Jake to their compartment.

THE AVERY HOUSE

"I'm sorry Grandma," Maddie began. "I didn't mean to interrupt." A few moments before she walked in as Charlotte and Jake were hugging goodbye. It seemed like more than a friendship to her but who was she to question?

"Don't worry about it, sweetie."

"Mama!" Jay said, raising his arms to Charlotte. She picked him up and held him close.

"Wanna help me make cookies, Jay?"

"Ya, pease. Yum."

She set him on the counter and gave him a bowl so he could stir when it was time.

Maddie slipped away to the front porch, knowing Nate would be by to see her. He walked up not two minutes later and kissed her cheek. "Hey."

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"Your mom just left?"

"Yeah. She'll be back in a couple weeks."

She looked at him, realizing that by the time her mom and Papa returned, he would be in Deer Falls with his Uncle Paul. For the whole summer.

"You miss her? You look so sad." He grabbed her fingers and stepped closer.

"I do, but I wasn't thinking about her." She sat down on the swing. "When do you leave?"

"One week."

"In that case," Jack said as he walked up with the twins and Carlie, "you should come for dinner tonight."

"Thank you, sir. I don't want to be a bother."

"Nate, I'm inviting you. If you can keep a smile on my beautiful daughter's face for a little bit longer, I say come over every night."

"Dad!" Her face turned pink.

"Ok. I'll go let my parents know." He squeezed her hand. "I'll see you soon." She nodded.

DINNER, KITCHEN AT THE THORNTONS

Nate helped Maddie cook, even though she protested because he was technically a guest.

They made spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic butter rolls.

She laughed as he told her about his little brother and sisters and she told him how Carlie liked to spy on everyone, swearing she could tell when everyone was in love. With her, everything was romantic.

About thirty minutes later, Charlotte showed up and then they were all ready to eat. Everyone joined hands for the blessing and then the chaos, that was a Thornton dinner, began.

"Me Me! Yum!" Jay yelled. Everyone looked at him and laughed. He had sauce everywhere. In his hair, on his face, even between his fingers.

"I guess it's bath night for you, Jay."

"No! No bath!"

"Yes, bath."

"Tell you what, Jay," Jack told him. "I'll take a bath with you."

"Dada? Bath?"

"Yeah. We'll put bubbles in it and a bunch of toys."

"K, Dada. Fun!"

After dinner, Charlotte went upstairs with Carlie and the twins to read to them while Em and Maddie cleaned up the kitchen. Jack took his bath with Jay and Nate helped the girls.

"Nate, you don't have to help."

"I want to help." He scraped the dishes and then handed them to her to wash while Em dried.

Twenty minutes later, they were done. "I should get home," Nate announced.

"I'll walk you out." She looked at Em for a moment. "I'll be upstairs in a few minutes."

ON THE PORCH

"Thank your dad for inviting me over."

"I will."

He stepped over and hugged her close. "See you at school tomorrow?" She nodded, keeping her arms wrapped around his back. "Your dad's right, you know." She looked up at him, questioning. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you." He kissed her forehead and then her cheek.

"Night." She kissed his cheek before he stepped away.

"Night."

She smiled to herself as she walked back inside to turn out the lamps.

She made her way upstairs and checked on Jay who was asleep in his crib in their room. He wanted to be with Me Me since Mama was gone. She was ok with it. It wasn't like he woke up a lot during the night.

She changed and then slipped into bed to read before lights out.

"Maddie?"

"Hey, Em."

"Did he kiss you?"

"On the cheek, why?"

"Just curious."

"I wouldn't have objected if he kissed me on the lips, but we are trying to go slow." Em thought about that for a moment.

"Maddie, I think something is upsetting Grandma."

"I think she misses Papa."

"Its been almost a year."

"I mean Papa Jake, actually."

"Why do you say that?"

"When I took Jay to the boarding house, I saw them hugging."

"Friends hug. Maybe they are just friends."

"I think they love each other," a little voice from across the room said.

"Carlie! Why aren't you sleeping?" Maddie whispered loudly.

"I'm not tired yet."

"It's not nice to eavesdrop."

"I wasn't trying to. You were talking and I could hear you. I saw them hug and hold hands like you and Nate do."

"Carlie, it's also not nice to spy on people."

"Its not spying when I'm in the same room!"

Maddie couldn't argue with that. "Night Carlie."

"Night Bug."


	13. Chapter 13 - Realizations

ON THE TRAIN, MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

"Mama," Abbie said loudly. Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked at her daughter.

"Hi, Abbie. Are you hungry?"

She crawled over across the bed and sat down. "Dada?"

"Daddy's back home."

"Dada?"

She knew her fourteen month old daughter was not going to understand. "We'll see him soon. Do you want to nurse?"

Abbie nodded, her blonde curls bouncing. Elizabeth unbuttoned her nightgown and fed Abbie. It didn't take long and she was asleep again.

Elizabeth, however, stayed awake. She was excited to see Caleb and her new grandbabies, but she was also still unsure about Jake and Charlotte.

She figured it was because she couldn't imagine being in their place, losing Jack and then falling for someone so fast. It was just so hard to think of that possibility. As close as she had been to losing him, she knew her heart would be broken into a hundred pieces if it actually happened.

She sat, listening to Abbie breathe and then she heard a noise. It sounded like crying. She laid Abbie down, putting a pillow on either side of her, and went quietly into the main part off the train car.

"Dad? You ok?"

"Beth, go back to sleep. I'm sorry if I woke you."

She walked out and turned the lamp by the couch up a bit. "Dad, you're crying." She sat next to him and took his hand. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know really. A lot I guess."

She squeezed his hand and looked at him. "You miss Charlotte?"

"That's not it. I do, miss her, but….ok, I'll just say it. She told me you are uncomfortable with her and me together. I refuse to go any further with her if you can't handle it. I want you to be ok."

When she looked from the tears on his cheeks to the sad look in his eyes, she started to realize that their relationship didn't involve her. They both deserved to be happy, regardless of what anyone else thought.

"I have been selfish. Dad, I want you to be happy. Only you know what you feel in your heart and it's not fair for me to expect you to wait because I think it's too soon."

"You are not selfish. Grace was your mother. I completely understand why you are struggling."

"Charlotte is a wonderful woman and I'm glad you have each other."

Jake looked at Elizabeth to make sure she really felt what she said.

"I mean it, Dad. I love both of you so much."

He reached his arm out for her to come close. She leaned in and hugged him. "I love you too, Beth."

"Do you love her?" She looked up at him and he smiled. She had her answer.

THE NEXT AFTERNOON, UNION CITY

Jake, Elizabeth, and Abbie got off the train. Jake arranged for their luggage to be taken to the hotel suite where they would be staying and then they sent a telegram inside the depot to Jack and Charlotte to let them know they arrived safely.

Jake next hired a driver to take them to the O'Reilly home.

"Papa!" Abbie said, reaching for him as they drove.

"Hi, pretty girl." He took her, kissing her round cheeks. "Are you ready to see babies?"

"I am," Elizabeth said. She missed Caleb so much it hurt.

A little while later they arrived and knocked on the door. Amy opened the door with one of the twins in her arm. "Mom! Papa? Oh my. Please come in. I missed you so much!" Amy stepped back to allow them to step in.

"Its great to see you, Amy." Elizabeth handed Abbie to Jake and then hugged her daughter-in-law. "This is Meri?"

"Yes, would you like to hold her?"

"I would. Where's Caleb?" She took the tiny girl from her mother.

"Changing Mason. He'll be so surprised you're here."

"She's lovely," Elizabeth whispered. She kissed her soft, black hair. The tears started.

"Mom?" Caleb walked in the room with his freshly diapered son. "What are you doing here?" He handed Mason to Amy and hugged his mom.

"Caleb, I missed you so much." She kissed his cheek.

"I missed you too." He walked over and hugged Papa too and then took Abbie. Abbie however was shy.

"Papa," she said, reaching for him, burying her face in his neck when he took her back.

"Mom, she's gotten so big."

"I know, not a little baby anymore." She snuggled Meri and then reached for Mason. It brought back memories of the boys.

"Oh Caleb, I'm so proud of you and Amy."

"Thanks Ma."

"Where's Sarah and Patrick?"

"Patrick is in Regina for work and Sarah took the kids downtown."

THE NEXT DAY

Elizabeth dressed for the graduation ceremony and then did her hair while Abbie slept in the middle of Elizabeth's bed. Elizabeth thought about J.T., wondering how he was adjusting without her there. She thought of Maddie, knowing Nate was leaving soon for his uncle's and how much she would miss him. Em was trying to grow up but, at heart, she was still quite young. The twins were so different from each other, but the best of friends. Carlie, was a handful. She knew that she took every opportunity to spy on her family, watching and listening. She needed to have a talk with her about privacy. At eight years old, she knew when she shouldn't be doing something, and yet, most of the time, she did it anyway.

"Mama." Abbie rubbed her eyes and sat up.

"Hey sweetie. I'm almost done."

"Dada?"

"You miss him, don't you?"

She nodded. She stood up on the bed and held her arms out. "I miss him too."

She stuck one more pin in her hair and then checked her reflection. "Not bad," she muttered.

The graduation was long but very nice. Amy left the twins with Sarah for the few hours she would be gone. Elizabeth kept Abbie with her and passed her to Jake or Amy to keep her busy.

After the ceremony, Caleb walked over to his family. Amy rewarded him with a quick kiss.

"I'm proud of you, sweetie."

"Thanks Ames."

Elizabeth hugged him too and Jake shook his hand. "Next stop, The Academy, right Caleb?"

"Yeah. According to the package I received in the mail, I need to be in Regina by August 1st to complete orientation. So we have about three weeks we can spend in Harris Town and then we really need to get to Regina to find a house."

The familiar pang of uncertainty hit Amy. He could see it in her eyes, even though she smiled when he squeezed her hand. "Don't worry, honey. We will find something."

THAT EVENING

Sarah planned a special dinner for Caleb. She made pot roast with carrots, mashed potatoes with gravy, and Cherry cobbler for dessert.

Just as they were all sitting down for dinner, Patrick walked in. "Evening everyone. Mrs. Thornton, it's good to see you. It's been a long time."

"Good to see you too, Patrick. Welcome home."

"Thank you." He smiled at his wife, took her hand, and took her into the living room for a bit of privacy.

"Patrick, I'm so glad you're home." She hugged him and then kissed him, not holding back.

He leaned his forehead against hers to catch his breath. "I love you, dear one."

"I love you."

He held her for another moment and then they went to join the others for dinner.

"Did you have a good trip, Patrick?" Caleb wondered.

"I did. In fact, I have something for you."

"Me?"

"Well, you and Amy and the babies."

Caleb looked at his wife, who shrugged. Patrick handed him a key.

"A key?"

"To your house. It's on Main St. Two blocks from the store, a restaurant, and my good friend Robert Powell and his wife Patty."

"Our house?"

"Yes, Caleb. Your grandfather contacted me about a month ago, along with Jack. The two of them together rented this home for the two years you will be at The Academy. It has two bedrooms and electricity. You should be quite comfortable."

"Papa?" Caleb looked at Jake for answers.

"Caleb, I wanted to help you out and so did Jack."

"That's a lot of money."

"Not in the grand scheme of things. Grace mentioned wanting to help you and Amy since the babies and all."

"I can't even believe this. Ames?"

"I guess I don't need to worry anymore, do I?" she mentioned.

"No, you don't." Neither did he.

"Oh, one more thing," Patrick continued. "the house is furnished. Including the nursery."

"Are you serious?" Amy blurted.

"Completely serious."

Amy stood up, wrapped her arms around Patrick's neck and kissed his cheek. Then she moved to Jake.

"Thank you so much, Papa."

"No thanks necessary. You're my granddaughter now and these babies are my great-grandchildren. I just want to help take care of you."

Caleb grew silent. He was grateful, but it was his job to take care of his own family. It should be him finding their home and him earning the money to furnish it.

Elizabeth recognized the look on her son's face. She'd seen it on her own husband's face many times. Stubbornness and pride. She could tell Caleb wanted to take care of his own family and he was biting his tongue to keep from saying something he'd regret.

After dinner, Elizabeth joined Amy while she fed the babies. She put Abbie on the bed and she crawled over to see the babies. "Mama? Yum yum."

"They're eating?" Abbie nodded.

"Mama?" She crawled over to her and patted her chest.

"You just ate, sweetie." She stood up and wrapped her arms around Elizabeth's neck. She just smiled and rocked her back and forth.

"You don't think she needs to nurse?" Amy asked.

"No, she ate a really good dinner. She just wants to eat because she sees them doing it." She looked at Amy, stroking the babies arms and legs as they ate.

"How are you doing, Amy?"

"Good. I am so amazed at how much I love them."

"I know what you mean."

"I'm the one they need to nourish them. I wouldn't give this up for anything."

Caleb walked in, the same look on his face as before. He placed the key on his dresser and sighed.

"I think I'll see if Dad wants to go now. See you both tomorrow?"

"Ma, you don't have to leave." He actually wanted to tell her he was mad and that he wanted her to tell him how to handle it. He wouldn't ask though.

She kissed his cheek. She fought the urge to give him advice. He was a grown man with a family of his own. If he asked, that would be different.

"Yes, it's time. Your sister is tired and so am I, actually. Goodnight Amy."

"Night Mom."

The door shut and Caleb locked it. He removed his pants and shirt, changing into his night clothes. He sat down next to Amy, still not speaking.

"Honey? Can you burp Meri for me?"

She handed her to Caleb and then burped Mason herself. "Caleb, what's bothering you?"

"Its my job."

"What is?"

"Finding us a place to live, buying things for our family. It's my job, Ames."

"You take care of us, honey. They were just helping."

"You don't think I can do it either, do you?"

"Of course I do! Why are you upset with me?"

"I'm young, but I'm capable. I can take care of us."

"I know. Caleb, I never doubted that. No one did."

He stood up and dressed, putting Meri next to Amy in bed. "Where are you going?"

"For a walk." He unlocked the door and walked out, shutting it behind himself.

Amy stood up, placing Mason next to his sister and followed her husband. Sarah was in the kitchen. "Can you listen for the babies, please?"

"Of course."

She walked out the door, prepared to have to search, but he was on the porch.

"Amy, can I just be alone?" He never called her that. She knew he meant it.

"Yes, but first, I need you to know something." He turned toward her and crossed his arms. "I trust you with my life and those babies lives." She walked over and uncrossed his arms. "I will never doubt that you have done your best to make sure we are safe." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "You are my love, my everything, Caleb. You are the most wonderful husband and father. Please don't ever think that I feel otherwise, because it's just not true." She buried her face in his shoulder. "Those wonderful men who did this, love us so much. They only want to take care of us because we will be across the country and they can't be with us."

She kissed his cheek and then turned to walk away. "Please stay," he whispered before he stepped forward and kissed her. "Thank you." He kissed her again, making her smile.

A FEW DAYS LATER, HARRIS TOWN

Nate was leaving the next morning for Deer Falls. He was looking forward to a change in scenery, but didn't want to leave Maddie. She invited him for dinner one last time so, of course, he accepted.

He walked up to their house and knocked. Carlie opened the door a moment later. "Hi! Maddie is upstairs getting ready. She told me to tell you that. Do you love her? I think you do. I can tell. I watch a lot."

"Carlie!" Maddie walked up and put her hand on her shoulder. "Dad needs you to help the boys set the table." They watched her walk away. "Sorry Nate. She doesn't know when to stop."

He shrugged. Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her outside for a moment.

"You look beautiful tonight." He kissed her cheek, his lips lingering for a few seconds longer than necessary.

"Thank you." Good grief, she would miss him! She was going to be brave though. No tears.

He leaned his forehead against hers and held her close. "Maddie, I'm going to miss you."

"Me too." She wrapped her arms around his neck and held tight. "I love you, Nate."

"I love you too."

They promised to write but it wouldn't be the same as seeing her everyday and hearing her voice. At the same time, the reason he was leaving was for them. He wanted to marry her when she was sixteen, but he needed to learn everything he could about running a ranch before then. He wanted to be a good husband and a good provider.

He leaned in and sweetly kissed her, his lips melting into hers…until…

Em cleared her throat from the doorway. "Dad says it's time for dinner."

"Thank you, Em." Maddie blushed and grabbed his fingers to pull him into the house. "Lets eat."

They sat next to each other during dinner. Jack caught their glances and brief touches. He was trying really hard to let her go, but it was very difficult. To his heart, she was little Bug…she couldn't possibly be fourteen, but there she sat, next to a boy she very obviously liked and who liked her back.

"Dad?" Maddie said.

"Huh?" He hadn't been paying attention.

"Dad? You're staring. Is something wrong? You look upset."

"No, I'm fine. Who wants pie?"

"Me!" J.T. yelled making everyone laugh.

Nate intertwined his fingers with hers as she kissed his cheek. It was bold, especially with Carlie and her Dad in the room, but she couldn't stop herself. She knew that in just about an hour, he would leave her house and she wouldn't see him again for ten weeks. It was killing her to think about.

"Pie, Maddie?" Em asked her.

"No thank you."

"Its cherry. It's your favorite."

"I'm full. Thank you though."

"Me Me!" J.T. Shouted.

"Yes, Jay."

"Yum yum. Me Me pie." She looked at him and giggled. The boy had cherry filling all over himself. "No bath!"

"We need to teach you to use a spoon, buddy."

"No poon!" He wiggled his cherry covered fingers at her and grinned, his dimples popping.

AFTER DINNER

"Mr. Thornton? May I have about five minutes alone with Maddie? I leave tomorrow and I would like to speak with her."

Jack looked at the hopeful expression on Nate's face. "Ok. Five minutes would be fine. Just remember my eyes are everywhere."

"Dad! Is it you that asks Carlie to spy?" Maddie asked. Now it all made sense.

"Lets just say, I can't be everywhere so I needed a back up plan."

"Does Mom know?"

Jack raised his eyebrows at her, smiled looking just like Jay, and left the room.

Maddie stood up and started clearing plates but Nate stopped her. "Hey, I know this is hard. I don't know how I'm going to get through this summer without you." He stepped close and kissed her forehead.

"I don't know either." She took a deep breath, willing the tears to stay away.

"I'm doing this for us, you know. For our future. I want to take care of you the best I can." She seemed shocked by his statement.

"For us?"

"Yes. I need to learn everything I can so when we get married and have a family in a few years, we'll be set."

"Ok. I understand." When he put it that way, she did understand. It would be hard to be separated, but in the long run, their family would have a stable life.

"You sure?"

"Yes." She smiled and then wrapped her arms around him one last time. "It doesn't mean I'll miss you any less though."

He returned her embrace, holding her tightly until their last moment was up.

"I need to go now," he whispered into her hair. "I love you."

"Love you," she said as she stood on her toes to kiss him. Then he was gone, leaving her arms empty.

Jack waited a moment and then went in the kitchen. "Want some help with the kitchen?"

"That's ok, Dad. When I'm done, I'll help you with Jay's bath."

"Maddie? You can go talk to Em or something."

"Why?"

"You have to be upset, with Nate leaving and all."

"I'm ok, but thank you." She smiled at him, as if to convince him, and then went back to work. "Oh, thank you for letting us say goodbye. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

"Dad?"

"Yes, babe."

"Does it get easier? I mean, you must miss Ma right now. Do you miss her less than you did when she first left?"

"No, I miss her more. I just know it will be wonderful when she gets back."

Maddie nodded and wiped the counters. "When does Nate come back?"

"August 15th."

"What are your plans for the summer?"

"I'm in charge of Jay and helping at the boarding house."

"Every day?"

"Yeah, pretty much. If I keep busy, it will be better. I start tomorrow."

"I'd like to spend time with you at some point. Like a date." She looked at him and smiled.

"Ok, Dad. That would be nice."

UNION CITY, CITY HOTEL, a few days later

Elizabeth packed up her trunk, folding her clothes and Abbie's clothes. They were all leaving on the morning train to go back home.

She had helped Amy pack for the last two days, since they wouldn't be coming back to Union City before traveling to Regina. They separated things they would need in Harris Town, from the things they would ship to Regina courtesy of the RNWMP.

"Mama?" she heard from the bed.

"Hi, Abbie! Ready to go on the big train?"

"Mama, wet!"

"You're wet? Ok, well come here." Abbie sat up and walked over to her Mama for a diaper change. When she was done, Elizabeth took her out to the kitchen part of the suite and cut up some bananas and strawberries.

"Mmm..nanas!" Abbie said excitedly. She clapped her hands and smiled as she ate.

"Good morning my beautiful girls! Who's ready to go home?" Jake said as he walked in the room with his suitcase.

"Almost ready. Can you watch her while I finish packing and get dressed?"

"Of course."

"Thanks Dad." Elizabeth smiled and headed back to her bedroom. She could see he was anxious to return home. He obviously missed Charlotte and she understood that. Jack was waiting for her.


	14. Chapter 14 - Big things

"Look Abbie! Daddy!" Abbie looked out the window of their train car, her nose pressed to the glass.

"Dada!" She yelled as if he could hear her.

He looked good. Elizabeth's heart beat a bit faster as she gazed at him. The train finally lurched and hissed, coming to a complete stop at the platform.

She stood up and Abbie grabbed her finger as they followed Jake off the train.

Abbie was toddling beside her whispering "Dada, Dada." As soon as they walked down the steps, Abbie ran to Jack. "Dada! Kiss!" He scooped her up and kissed her face, making her giggle.

"Hi, baby! I missed you so much." He smiled and found Elizabeth with his eyes.

"Honey." He put Abbie down and grabbed her, pulling her into his arms.

She put her hands on his cheeks and their lips met for a brief moment. "I'm home, love."

Caleb and Amy walked out of their compartment, each with a baby in their arms. They looked tired.

"Dada! Babies!" Abbie said pointing to the twins.

Elizabeth picked her up so Jack could go see his grandchildren.

First he hugged Caleb and kissed Amy's cheek and then he kissed the babies, one at a time.

"They're beautiful. I can't wait to hold them."

Jake had walked to the livery to borrow a wagon to take all of their things back to the ranch.

About thirty minutes later, they were on the road, headed home.

"You're quiet, Dad," Elizabeth noticed. "Nervous?"

"Just anxious I guess." Elizabeth slipped her hand in the crook of his arm and smiled.

"Everything will be just as it's supposed to be."

He nodded. What he was about to do, made him feel like a much younger person, going to call on his girl to go courting. He'd obviously done it before, but not with Charlotte. He loved her and she was his best friend. He knew she cared for him too, but not how much. What if he had assumed incorrectly?

They drove to the Thomas house first, to drop off Amy, Caleb, and the babies. They were going to stay there this visit.

Finally, they pulled up to the Thornton house. Jack scooted to the end of the wagon in the back, taking Abbie with him. Then he helped Elizabeth down.

The door opened and all the kids rushed out. "Mama! You home! Hold me, pease," J.T. begged with his arms up.

She smiled. "Hi, sweetheart." She kissed him and held him close. "I love you, Jay."

"Moon back Mama." She laughed. He obviously was listening when she and the older kids said that.

J.T. didn't want her to put him down, so she hugged everyone else with one arm.

Em was the last. Maddie knew Em wanted extra attention from their Mom so she coaxed J.T. inside with a promise of a cookie.

"Mom?" She started crying as Elizabeth held her.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I just missed you so much." She had a feeling it was more, so she told Jack they would be back in awhile and they walked to the pond.

"Emmy, tell me what's bothering you." They sat on the bench to talk.

"Josh. I don't think he likes me Ma. I like him so much but he doesn't seem like he wants to even be my friend. It's so hard to be around Maddie and Nate when I can't have the same thing. When is it going to happen for me?"

She stroked Emmy's hair as she cried into her shoulder. She had to come up with something to tell her but she didn't know what. Being so close in age to Maddie, she felt like she should be experiencing the same things, but her lovely, impatient Emmy needed to be just that. Patient.

"Think of having a boyfriend as waiting for dessert after dinner. Let's say you make an apple pie in the morning to be eaten that night. You have to get through breakfast, lunch, and dinner, not to mention everything else during the day before you can have it."

"I need to wait."

"Yes, babe. I need you to think through this with me. You are twelve years old."

"Almost thirteen."

"Yes, but twelve. You can't get married until you are at least sixteen. You have to finish school first and find a boy who will be good to you and care for you and who can be a good husband. Love isn't something you should rush, because once you get married, it's for life. You'll have children and responsibilities and you need to be able to handle all of that."

"You're saying that I'm not ready?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Maddie isn't ready either, but she will be soon."

"So how do I wait? I mean, what do I do to get ready?"

"Pay attention to how to run the house. Do more chores, help with the younger kids. Just concentrate on acting more mature, and eventually you will be."

"What about Josh?"

"From what I hear, he's shy. Give him time to come out of his shell. How old is he, sweetie?"

"Fifteen."

"He's a lot older than you. He might not see you as someone he wants to be with because you're so much younger. After awhile though, age doesn't matter."

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Jake walked into the kitchen. There she was, dressing two turkeys for dinner. She had her hair tied back to keep it out of her face. She was wearing a brown skirt, a white blouse, and an apron to protect her clothes. She looked lovely.

"Want some help?" he whispered, not wanting to scare her.

She spun around, her hands a mess because of the meat. "Jake," she said with a smile. She washed her hands, dried them, and then walked over and hugged him. When she loosened her grip, she leaned back slightly and kissed his cheek. "Its good to see you," she said quietly.

"You too." He stared at her, taking in every detail, down to the tiny gold flecks in her beautiful eyes. "Charlotte, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, if you don't mind peeling potatoes as you ask." She smiled and got back to the turkeys, sliding them in the oven.

She started chopping celery and onion for the stuffing.

He stood silently, peeling the potatoes. "Am I supposed to guess?" she teased.

"No, sorry. Um…"

"Papa! I don't know where Daddy is but Will got hurt. He needs help!" Carlie yelled as she ran in.

Jake dropped the knife in the sink and ran out of the kitchen, Charlotte right behind him. They followed Carlie to the barn. Will was crying on the floor of the barn, holding his arm.

"What happened?"

"Papa! My arm. It hurts so bad!"

"Where's Drew?" Drew peeked over the edge of the loft.

"Up here."

"Come down here, Drew. Tell me what happened."

Drew climbed down the ladder. "We were wrestling and he fell."

"You were up in the loft wrestling?"

"Yes, sir."

Jake took a deep breath, to calm his nerves. "Charlotte, will you please hitch up the wagon? Drew, go to your room. We'll talk later. Carlie, go to the house and find your Dad. Tell him we are taking Will to the doctor." Everyone jumped into action.

"Will, stay still. I'll be right back."

He walked over to the closet area of the barn and found a piece of cloth to use as a sling to keep Will's arm from moving. Will cried out as Jake tied the sling but he quieted soon after.

Jack walked up as soon as they had the wagon ready to go. He hopped in the back next to Will. "What happened?"

"Drew and I were up in the loft and I fell."

"Will…" Jake admonished.

Jake started driving while he waited for Will to tell the whole story.

"We were wrestling," he said quietly.

"In the loft? William Thomas! You know better than that."

"Yes sir." He knew because they had been told many times not to do it.

"You could have broken a lot more than just your arm. When we get home, you and Drew are grounded."

"But Dad!"

"No buts. No fishing for two weeks."

Will sat back against the wagon, knowing it was useless to argue with his Dad.

"Yes sir."

After about two hours they were back home, Will's arm in a cast from his elbow to his wrist.

Jake walked in the house to find Charlotte but she wasn't in the kitchen. "Carlie, where's Grandma?"

"She went to the boarding house. She has a new man arriving so she had to be there."

"A new man, huh?"

"Yeah, Grandma says he is a banker from some place called Boston. She left you a note." Carlie handed it to him.

"Thanks sweetheart."

"Welcome Papa."

He opened the envelope.

JAKE,

I HAD TO HEAD BACK TO THE BOARDING HOUSE. PLEASE COME. WE CAN TALK OVER DINNER.

CHARLOTTE

"Are you going Papa?"

"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok."

Jake borrowed a horse from the barn and rode to town, looking forward to a nice meal with Charlotte. He took the horse to the livery and walked to The Avery House.

He walked in and heard Charlotte talking to, who he could only assume was, the banker.

"Anyone home?" he called from the parlor.

"In the kitchen, Jake," she called back. "Jacob Hunt, this is Mr. Henry Powers. He is from Boston. Mr. Powers, this is Jacob Hunt."

"Mr. Powers. Welcome."

"Thank you, Mr. Hunt. I'm only in town for a few days, and the lovely Mrs. Avery here, is kind enough to rent me a room."

Something about the "lovely" comment rubbed Jake the wrong way. "That was nice of her."

"Indeed," he agreed.

All through the meal she made them, Mr. Powers flirted with Charlotte, getting under Jake's skin. He was overjoyed when the man finally excused himself from the table.

Charlotte started clearing the table while Jake drank his coffee. "So, are you still going to ask me something, Jake? You've been awfully quiet through dinner."

"Couldn't get a word in with him around."

She stopped clearing and looked at him. "If I didn't know any better, Mr. Hunt, I'd say you're jealous."

Now was his chance. He had her attention. "What if I am?" He walked over to her and took her hands in his.

"I'd say you are worried over nothing."

"How's that?"

"He's not you, Jake."

"No, he's younger and successful…"

"And too charming for his own good. And not you." She took her hands from his and wrapped her arms around his neck loosely, looking him in the eye. "You are kind and thoughtful and loving and successful. I don't need anyone but you." He smiled, kissed her cheek and pulled her closer.

"Charlotte, I love you."

"I love you too."

"You do?"

"You seem surprised," she noticed.

"I thought maybe I was feeling something you didn't." She shook her head. "So, can I court you then, Mrs. Avery?"

"Can I think about it?" she teased, a gleam in her eye.

"Sure, you think about it and I'll try to convince you to say yes."

"How will you do that?"

He slowly kissed her cheek and then her ear, tickling her with his lips. "Jake," she whispered. He was giving her goosebumps and her stomach was all fluttery like butterflies.

"Hmm?" He continued his kisses. She smelled like cinnamon and apples.

"Ok! Yes. Yes, you can court me." She laughed. "Are you ever going to really kiss me, Jake?"

"Some day. Not before our first official date though."

"Which is when?"

"Right now. Let's take a walk."

THE THOMAS HOME

The babies were both crying and had been for what seemed like forever. Caleb walked and bounced Meri while she rocked and tried to feed Mason. Nothing was working.

"Maybe we need a change of scenery. Let's go sit on the porch." They walked outside to the warm evening air and sat on the swing. After about ten minutes, both babies were asleep. "Its so quiet, Ames."

"Shhh. Count your blessings." She leaned her head against his shoulder and pushed the swing gently.

"You're a blessing, babe. Happy first anniversary." He kissed her forehead and then realized she was asleep too so he closed his eyes and joined them.

BY THE STREAM

The sun was setting, shining on the water. The first stars were starting to appear and he had never seen her look more lovely. It was the perfect moment to kiss her, but he hesitated.

She turned to him, stepping close. So close he would only need to move a fraction of an inch and their lips would meet. "Jake? If you're not ready, I understand. I've been working on my patience and I think I'm doing better." She stepped back but he put his hands on her arms, keeping her there.

"I'm ready, I'm just…"

"You're nervous that it might change things?"

"I don't want to lose you Charlotte. You are my best friend and I don't want us to lose that."

"You won't lose me. I'll always be right by your side."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Always." He stepped forward, put his hand gently on her cheek, and kissed her softly. "Don't stop," she mumbled moving forward to kiss him this time. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him, loving him and he did the same.

Finally, he felt at peace and he was home.

THE NEXT MORNING, THE THORNTON HOUSE

Jack opened his eyes and smiled. Elizabeth was staring at him. He leaned forward and kissed her nose. "Morning, babe."

"Morning, love."

"What do you want to do today?"

"Hmmm…I want to stay right here."

"We can let the kids fend for themselves? Not sure if that's a good plan." He sat up and peeked over at Abbie. She was still asleep so he laid back down.

"Is the door locked?"

"Yes," he said, laughing. "Why do you ask?"

"Because after I tell you what I'm going to tell you, you are going to want to celebrate and we need to make sure the door is locked."

"What's that?"

"Do you think nine is a good number? I mean, it's very close to ten."

"Nine! You're pregnant?"

"Yes." He rolled over and kissed her all over making her giggle uncontrollably.

"Are you happy, love?"

"I'm happy and I'm also happy the door's locked."

"Mama!" J.T. yelled from outside the door. "Mama!"

Abbie heard him and then stood up and giggled. "Mama! Kisses!"

Jack rolled away from Elizabeth and sighed. She laughed, got out of bed and slipped her robe on. Jack put his pants on and got Abbie from her crib.

"Mama! Me in pease!" J.T. begged from outside the door.

"You want in, Jay?" She unlocked the door and let him in. "Hi, buddy."

"Hi, Mama. Hold me?"

She picked him up and got back in bed, snuggling Jay under the covers. "Wanna stay in bed with me?"

"Ya, Mama. Seep here."

Jack brought Abbie back to bed too. "Bebe here, Mama."

"Yes, Abbie is here too." One by one the other kids came in. First Will, then Drew. Next Carlie and then Emmy and finally Maddie.

"Hey kids!" Jack raised his voice to be heard. "Mama is having a baby!"

"Yay!" they all said, bouncing on the bed. "Can it be a boy this time?" Drew asked.

"I hope so buddy," Jack said, but wished he hadn't when he saw all his girls faces. "All I meant was…you girls know I love you, right? We just seem to be outnumbered."

"Only by one," Maddie pointed out.

"Ok, ok. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry."

Elizabeth shook her head at him. "Nice, honey."

LUNCHTIME

Caleb, Amy, and the babies came over for lunch.

Jack took both babies and rocked them on the porch swing, singing and talking to them.

"Ok, babies. I'm your Papa Jack. Even though I'm not going to see you very often, I want you to always remember that I love you very much." Both babies stared up at him as if they were listening. He kissed them and told them about all their aunts and uncles. "And your Grandma Elizabeth is the most wonderful woman I've ever met. You will love her so much."

"I'll love them too." Elizabeth joined him on the swing. "I already do." She took Mason from him and kissed his soft black hair. "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

"So are you."

"Trying to dig yourself out of that hole, are you?" she teased.

"It just popped out. I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"Mmhmm."

Caleb and Amy walked out. "Ma! Carlie says you're having a baby?"

"Yes. We wanted to tell you today, but leave it to your sister to spill the beans."

"Congratulations! That means Mason and Meri will have an aunt or uncle younger than they are. Wow!"

Charlotte and Jake walked up, hand in hand.

"Mom, Dad? You both look happy," Jack noticed.

"We are." Charlotte smiled at Jake.

"Did you both stay in town last night?"

"We did."

"At the boarding house?"

"Yes, dear. Where else?"

"Well, do you think that's appropriate considering the situation?"

"Jack Thornton! It was perfectly appropriate. We got married."


	15. Chapter 15 - Together

"I guess today is the day for big news," Jack said with a chuckle.

"What do you mean, son?"

"I'm pregnant," Elizabeth told them, a huge smile on her face. Maybe it was being pregnant or holding her grandson or being home with her family, or maybe it was standing on the porch with four generations of people she loved dearly. Whatever it was, she'd never been happier.

"You are? Congratulations Beth!" Jake stepped forward and hugged her. "I'm so happy for you."

"I'm happy for you and Mom too. I love you."

"Then those are tears of happiness, sweetie?"

"Yes, I'm so happy. All my children and grandchildren are here and you and Mom. It couldn't get any better."

A wagon pulled up at that moment. Everyone looked and Elizabeth gasped. "I take that back." In the wagon were Frank, Abigail, and Carrie. Elizabeth hurried over to hug them.

"Elizabeth! Did you have a baby and forget to tell me?" Abigail jumped down and hugged her best friend.

"Abigail, this is Mason, my grandson."

"Oh! Caleb's?"

"Yes, mine," Caleb said bringing over Meri. "And this is Meri." He kissed Abigail's cheek. "Good to see you Abigail."

"Oh Caleb. Twins? How amazing is that?"

"Hi, Auntie Beth!"

"Hi, Carrie. You are so tall, I almost didn't recognize you." Although she looked exactly like Abigail.

"I'm eleven now!"

"You are? Oh my…now I feel old."

It was decided that since they had the room, the Hogan's would stay with them. Carrie wanted to share a room with the girls so they moved J.T. out of the girls room and in with the twins.

"Dad! Please don't make us share with Jay! He's so…"

"Be nice, William! He understands."

"But…"

"You want a baby brother. Eventually he would be in with you too. Consider this practice."

Will sighed and walked off, Drew right behind him.

Frank and Jack sat in the living room with Caleb, the babies, Abbie, and Jay. The women congregated in the kitchen for tea and to make snacks.

"Dada! Will mean." Jay climbed up on Jack's lap, his bottom lip sticking out. "Want Me Me! No Will."

"It will be fun to stay with the boys, Jay."

"No pease. Stay wif Me Me."

"He can stay with us, Dad. I don't mind, really." Maddie walked in and sat next to Jack on the couch.

"Yay! Me Me!" He crawled over to her and hugged her.

Frank watched everything, secretly grateful for the one wonderful child they had. Abbie walked over to him. "Up?" She didn't know him but didn't seem to be scared. He picked her up and set her on his lap.

"Hi there, Abbie."

"Hi." She smiled at him and just stared. After a few moments, she put her head on his shoulder and fell asleep. Even though one child was plenty for him, holding a little one again was very sweet.

KITCHEN

Elizabeth stared at Abigail, so grateful to see her again. "I missed you so much, Abigail." She wiped her eyes and turned back toward the food.

"I missed you. I told Frank a few weeks back that I needed to come see you. A year is too long."

"I agree. Now, since the train goes all the way through, it's easier to get here."

"Or to come visit me?"

"Yes, true."

"Elizabeth, I'm so sorry about Grace."

"Thank you. We are doing ok, though."

"I haven't heard from you in quite awhile. I didn't know about the twins or about Jake and Charlotte."

"Its been rough. Some days I just didn't have the energy."

Abigail could tell Elizabeth wanted to say more but because of the crowd in the room, she held back. "Let's take a walk?" Elizabeth nodded.

"Maddie? Can you take over, sweetie?"

"Sure Ma." Maddie stepped in and Elizabeth and Abigail slipped out the back door to the pond.

AT THE POND

"Its been so hard. Losing my father was hard, but losing her was unimaginable. I felt lost."

"I wish I could have been here. At least you had Jack."

"Yes, although it hadn't been all that long since Pop, so he was still dealing with that."

"Life is hard. We have to remember to rely on God first and then each other. Not push each other away."

"Jack and I have always had that problem. When either of us get depressed, our first thing is to deny any problem and then leave the other out of it. It's been the same thing for the last fifteen years."

"But you always find your way back."

"We do."

"What else has been happening?"

"Jack has struggled a lot with Maddie growing up and liking Nate."

"I can see that. His Bug is changing. They've always been so close."

"Yeah. And Em is so impatient to grow up and have what Maddie has with Nate. I had to remind her to give it time. Maddie was more mature at her age than Em is. They are different and we can't treat them the same, as much as that seems unfair to Em."

"I'm sure Carrie growing up won't be very fun either, but I'm kinda glad we have just one. I don't know how you handle seven children under one roof."

"Eight," she said quietly.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations!"

"Thank you. I wondered if it would happen again. I'm getting older."

"You are only thirty seven. I was much older than you with Carrie."

"Maybe so."

"Even with all this going on, are you happy?"

"Yes. Very happy."

THAT EVENING, BOARDING HOUSE

Jake stared down at his lovely wife of twenty four hours, as he lay next to her. It had been a very quick decision, but the correct one.

Charlotte stared up at him and smiled. "What is it?"

"I'm just thinking."

"About?"

"How glad I am we got married last night." He tucked her hair behind her ear and bent down to kiss her. "I love you Charlotte."

"I love you."

"What would you think if I built us a house?" He slipped his arm around her and pulled her to his chest. "Not large. Maybe two bedrooms."

"We could just stay here. If you're concerned with privacy, we can move to the third floor."

"I just thought maybe you'd want your own home."

"Believe it or not, I think of this as my home. I purchased it and made the repairs myself. I don't mind staying here as long as you don't mind."

"I'll live anywhere, as long as you are with me, love."

TWO AND A HALF WEEKS LATER

The next day, they needed to travel to Regina. It was a week long trip on a train. Caleb grew tired just thinking about it. The plus was the first class compartment that Jake paid for. With two, two and a half month old babies, it was the only way to travel.

Caleb folded their clothes and other items, placing them neatly in the trunk.

He thought sadly about how much he would miss his family. They would travel home at Christmas each year, but that was all they could do. After the two years at The Academy, he didn't know where they would be assigned.

"All packed, Sweetie?" Amy placed her hand on his shoulder, knowing how hard it was to leave again.

"I think so." He stood up and gathered her into his arms, letting his emotions flow. "This is so hard."

"I know it is. Just remember I'm here and I love you very much."

"Thank goodness. I couldn't do it without you."

"You'll never have to, babe. You're stuck with me."

His eyes lit up…."Mmhmm. I like that thought." He leaned over and kissed her neck.

"Me too. Come over here and be stuck with me." She pulled him to the bed and then…Mason let out a squawk and Meri joined him. "It was a nice thought anyway."

THE AVERY HOUSE

"I kind of feel guilty leaving Mom and Dad with all seven kids while we stay here. Then I think, we never get to be completely alone so I'll enjoy it."

Jack pulled a blanket up over their laps from the back of the couch and handed her a cup of tea. They were enjoying a quiet anniversary night all alone. "I have a gift for you." He pulled a small, flat box wrapped with a red bow out of the drawer next to him.

"Thank you, love. You didn't need to get me anything."

"Its our fifteenth anniversary…of course I did."

"What if I didn't get you anything?" she teased.

"I have everything I could possibly need." He kissed her temple and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Open it."

She smiled and lifted the lid. "Oh Jack. A new journal?"

"I know you miss writing. This year has been hard, so I thought if you had a new one, you might have a place to write down your thoughts."

"Its beautiful." She gently ran her hand down the soft, black leather cover.

"Thank you." A tear fell on her cheek. "It has been hard, but we have each other. That's what's most important." She leaned her forehead against his cheek, trying to ignore the bad things they'd been through and remembering the good things.

"I love it, Jack."

"I love you. Don't ever forget, babe."

She opened the drawer and found a pencil. She opened to the first blank page and wrote something. "What are you writing?" He tried to lean over to see, but she turned so he couldn't.

"Patience, love." She shut her journal and started to leave the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Read it!" She ran up the stairs and he opened the book.

"Join me in ten minutes. Happy Anniversary!"

THE NEXT MORNING

Jack woke up to lots of noise coming from downstairs. "Honey?" He touched her shoulder and nudged her. "Babe? Who's here?"

"What?"

"Listen. There are a lot of people downstairs."

"Its just the kids." She closed her eyes again.

"Why are they here?"

"For breakfast. Remember, Caleb and Amy leave today? Everyone is here for breakfast before they leave."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did. You were in the room when they decided to do it." He sat up and yawned.

"Where are you going?"

"To breakfast. Aren't you hungry?"

"I'm nauseated actually. I told them no eggs or bacon. Will you bring me toast, please?"

"Sure." He slipped his pants on and his long john shirt and padded down the stairs, not bothering with shoes.

"Hi, Dada!" J.T. Yelled.

"Hi, bud." He kissed his head. He walked over to Maddie and hugged her. "Hi, sweetheart. What's for breakfast?"

"Hi, Dad. Pancakes and toast and tea for Mom."

"Sounds great. We'll be right down." He grabbed the toast and tea and walked back upstairs.

"I have toast for you, sweetie." He set the plate and cup next to her on the table. He bent down and kissed her lips softly.

"You can do better than that Mr. Thornton," she mumbled with a smile and her eyes still closed.

He chuckled and touched her face. "I didn't want to make you sicker."

"Kiss me, love." He leaned down and did as she asked, thoroughly kissing her. She slipped her fingers behind his head, pulling him deeper into it. "Much better." She smiled. "Love you."

She sat up and took a bite of toast, willing it to stay down. She took a few deep breaths and then sipped her peppermint tea. So far so good.

"How are you feeling?"

"Let's talk about something else." She shut her eyes again.

"Ok, I'm going to take Maddie on a date tonight."

"You are?"

"Yeah, when you were gone, she had just said goodbye to Nate and I thought it might be a good idea to spend time with just her."

"That's sweet Jack. The other girls might get jealous though."

"I'll make it up to them."

THE KITCHEN

Jack went back downstairs a few moments later to eat.

"Mama?" Abbie asked him as she fed him a piece of pancake.

"She will be here soon, baby."

Caleb and Amy, each carrying a twin, walked in the door.

"Morning everyone," he greeted.

"Babies!" Abbie shouted, clapping her hands.

Jack got up so Amy could sit. "Here, Honey. Sit here. I'll get you a plate."

"Thanks Dad." Meri started fussing causing a large sigh from Amy and then her tears started.

"Dada! Amy sad," J.T. told him. Jack turned around and saw his upset daughter-in-law.

He sat her plate down and took Meri. "Long night?" Caleb put his arm around her.

"Yeah, the babies hardly slept and she's overwhelmed."

"Moving is a big deal. Especially moving so far away." Meri started crying again, so Jack walked her around, bouncing and humming. "You're a strong woman, Amy. Just like Elizabeth. You can do it. Trust me."

"I wish I was as sure as you are." She wiped her eyes and took a sip of water.

Elizabeth walked in and hugged Amy. "Sweetie, trust me. Life as a Mountie wife can be hard, but you are strong. Can I give you a little advice?"

"Yes, please."

"A few things I learned. One, make time for yourself. No matter where you are, you will need to get out of your house to unwind. Two, you and Caleb remember to make time for each other. Talk or watch the sunset or eat breakfast together before the kids get up. Something, because your relationship needs to be strong to get through rough patches. Three, make friends. From what I've heard, Patrick said Patty is wonderful. Rely on her and everything will go just fine."

An hour later, Charlotte and Jake showed up with the rest of the family to say goodbye at the train station. By that time, Amy's eyes were red and puffy and the babies picked up on her distress so they were crying. Caleb took both of them and was walking around bouncing to calm them.

Elizabeth stood, holding Amy, reassuring her.

"You'll be just fine. You have already made it a year living away from family. You've proven yourself." Amy knew that was true, but she was still nervous.

"I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything."

"I love you too. We'll see you at Christmas?"

"Yes, we'll be here."

"Write to me, sweetie. I wanna know how my grandchildren are doing."

"Promise."

Jack walked up to Caleb. "Can I hold them one more time?"

"Of course."

Jack thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world to have children, but somehow grandchildren tugged at his heart a bit more. It didn't help that they were moving so far away and he would only see them once a year.

Once he was holding them, Caleb took his cane and Jack walked away from his family to have a chat with them.

"All right my loves, Papa is going to miss you so much. I know I'll see you at Christmas but that's so long from now." Meri stared up at him and smiled. "You are so pretty, sweetheart." He kissed her soft head and fought his tears. The love he had for them and the pride he felt for Caleb was overwhelming.

"Dad, we need to go," Amy said quietly, not wanting to interrupt him.

"Ok. Just one more minute." He kissed them again. "Ok, now be good for your Mama. She deserves a break now and then, oh and don't grow too fast while you're gone."

Amy took them and then kissed Jack's cheek. "Love you. See you soon."

"Love you too, honey."

After more hugs and "I love you's" Caleb and his family were on their way.

"Choo Choo, Dada!" J.T. said as he waved. "Bye babies."

"Yes, Jay. Choo choo."

THAT EVENING

Maddie wore her best dress that Penny had helped her make. It was dark green and it had white trim around the v-neck and the cuffs. She loved the way it had turned out and it fit perfectly. Then she put on her gold necklace with her grandparent's wedding rings and tied half of her long curls back with a black ribbon.

"You look pretty, Bug," Carlie told her. "Where you goin again?"

"Dad is taking me to dinner."

"Why?"

"He said he wanted to spend time with me."

"Oh. I want to go with Daddy."

"I'll tell him and maybe he'll take you out another night."

"I can't go tonight?"

"No, Car. Sorry, not tonight."

"Please? I'll be good."

"Carlie, you stay home and help Em put J.T. to bed."

"It's not fair."

"Night Carlie." She kissed her head and walked down the stairs to wait. She walked into the living room. "Ma, do you know where Dad is? It's time to leave."

"He should be ready shortly."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just writing in my journal your Dad got me."

Just then she heard a knock at the door.

"Think that's for you, babe," Elizabeth told her.

"Me?" She walked over and opened the door. "Dad?"

Jack stood outside, wearing a dark suit, with a bouquet of wild flowers in his hand and a smile. "Hi, Maddie. These are for you."

"You got me flowers?"

"Yes I did. It's always polite to get your date a gift." He stepped forward and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you."

"I'll put them in a vase," Elizabeth offered, taking the flowers. "Have a nice time."

"Thanks Ma."

Jack offered his arm. "Ready to go?"

"Sure," she told him and they headed to the restaurant.


	16. Chapter 16 - I'm right here

Jack and Maddie walked to the restaurant, chatting about her day.

"Grandma told me not to bother coming to work for the next week or so because she doesn't have any boarders. My guess is she just wants time with Papa."

"You're a smart one, Bug." He shook his head at himself. Sometimes he still slipped. "I mean Maddie."

"Its ok. Carlie still calls me that."

"I know, but you're so grown up now. It was just something from when you were little." He thought back to when she was first born and immediately teared up. "When you were born, sweetie, it was one of the best days of my life. You were so beautiful. I would sometimes sit by your cradle and watch you sleep."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I couldn't believe you were mine. I still don't." She squeezed his arm and walked closer.

"I love you Dad."

"I love you." He stopped and looked at her. "When you were little, I never thought about what it would be like when you grew up. When you found a boy and kissed a boy and loved a boy. I never let myself think about giving you away, because I didn't want to. I don't want to."

"Daddy, I'm always going to be yours, even then."

He slipped his arm around her and they started walking again. "I promise I will try to be more understanding with you and Nate."

"Thank you."

"How long before he comes home?" He knew she would know immediately.

"Thirty nine days," she blurted, causing them both to laugh.

"You miss him."

"Very much, but I know the reason he needs to be away, and that helps."

"What reason?"

"He's learning how to run a ranch. Then after he graduates next year, he is going to go to college for a year to learn how to run a business. Then his Dad promised after five years, he would deed half the ranch to him. He told me that he's doing it for me and our family some day."

"Five years? Do you want to wait that long?"

"No, and we won't. That's just how long before he is a partner."

"Oh, ok." As scared as the direction of the conversation made him, he was impressed with Nate's planning. "He seems to have it all planned out."

"He always has a plan. I tease him about it, but I can see why he does it." They walked silently for a few minutes.

"Honey, do you love him?" He didn't know if she would answer, but he wanted to know.

She looked down, her cheeks turning pink. "Yes sir."

"Good. He's good for you. I can see that now." He kissed her forehead. "Now let's go eat. I'm starving."

ON THE TRAIN

The babies had finally settled. They didn't seem to enjoy the rocking motion of the train as much as Amy had expected and hoped. They seemed uneasy and agitated, much like her.

She laid them both on the bed and went to go see Caleb on the couch.

"Hey," she greeted, a huge tired sigh escaping from her mouth. She sat down, slipped her shoes off, and tucked her feet up under her.

"Hi, Ames. How are you?"

"Tired. I wish I was a baby sometimes."

He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Why?"

"I just think being held and rocked and comforted sounds pretty relaxing." He stared at her and then put his book down.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She leaned her head on his shoulder and yawned.

"I'll hold you, babe. Come here." He held his arm out to her.

"What? No, it's fine. I was mostly kidding."

"Part of you needs comfort and that's my job. Now come here, please." Feeling slightly silly, she stood and then repositioned herself on his lap so that he was cradling her. Her face was safely buried in his neck and his arms were wrapped around her. "How's that?"

"Perfect, actually." She leaned back and looked up at him.

"What?" he whispered.

Instead of answering, she raised her hand to gently touch his face. "So handsome." She slipped her hand behind his head and brought him closer. "I love you."

He leaned forward slightly and kissed her slowly, enjoying the quiet. He knew the babies would probably cry at any moment so he took full advantage of the rare alone time they were getting. He moved his free arm tighter around her waist slipping his other hand into her hair, deepening their connection.

A few moments later, she pulled back slightly and started kissing his neck. "You smell so good," she mumbled.

Meri let out a squawk, followed closely by Mason. "Maybe they'll go back to sleep," he offered, finding her lips again.

A minute later, they were crying in earnest. "I'll help you," he said as they got up and walked to the bedroom.

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Jack and Maddie returned later that evening, both feeling like their relationship was in a better place.

Elizabeth waited in the living room, Abbie sleeping in her arms.

"Hi, Mama. Do you want me to put her down? I'm going to go read before bed."

"Sure, sweetie, thank you." Maddie picked her up and then walked over to Jack.

"Thank you Dad. I had a nice time." She kissed his cheek and then went upstairs.

Jack sat next to Elizabeth and watched her write. "So you like your journal?"

"I do, thank you so much." She kissed his cheek and went back to writing.

He wrapped his arm around her and closed his eyes. If she wanted to tell him what she was writing she would share.

"Tonight Abbie didn't want to nurse. I think she's weaning herself."

"Em did that, remember?"

"I do."

"Well, pretty soon you'll have a new baby to nurse."

"Yeah." She shut her journal and snuggled up to Jack. "I'll still miss it. I have about six months before that happens."

"You're such a good mother, babe. Our kids are so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one."

Maddie came back in the room with Abbie. "Mom, Abbie's hungry."

"Mama! Num num, pease." She whimpered and held her hands up.

"Do you want a snack?"

She shook her head. "Mama." Elizabeth picked her up and set her on Jack's lap for a moment.

"Give Daddy a kiss goodnight, Abbie." She pursed her lips and kissed him and then leaned over to Elizabeth's lap and laid down to nurse.

"I guess she's not quite ready yet," Elizabeth said quietly. Which was a relief because neither was she.

A WEEK LATER

Amy was completely sick of the inside of their train car. The babies cried every night for at least an hour, trying her nerves. She and Caleb barely slept. Even though she was scared, she couldn't wait to get to their own home and be comfortable again.

According to the porter who knocked on the door ten minutes before, Regina was the next stop and less than an hour away.

"Honey, everything is packed and the babies have dry diapers."

"Thank you Caleb."

Thirty minutes later, the train started to slow so Caleb brought the babies over to the couch so they'd be safe. The babies stared up at him, Meri smiling. "Are you ready for a new adventure, Meri? We have a house that's just ours and Daddy is going to learn how to be a Mountie, just like Papa was." Meri cooed at him, as if she was answering him. Mason smiled then, listening to the story too. "And Mama is going to take good care of you while I'm at school, giving you baths and reading to you and keeping your tummies full." He kissed their heads and then looked at Amy. "Because Mama is the best Mama around, and the most wonderful wife Daddy could ever ask for." Her eyes met his, holding his gaze. "And Daddy loves her with every bit of his heart."

"Mama loves Daddy too. So much." She kissed him softly and leaned her head against his shoulder. "And Mama is scared, but she'll do the best she can to keep you safe and happy."

"If I'm honest, Ames, I'm a little scared too."

"You are?"

"What if I'm not good at it? I don't want to be a disappointment."

"Caleb, you will not be a disappointment to anyone. It's just not possible."

"This is how I'm going to support our family. If I'm a terrible student, I don't know what will happen."

"You won't be. You've always learned well, no matter the subject, even math. You will do just fine."

To know he had insecurities too, helped her see she wasn't alone, but she also didn't know what to do to help him. She would just try to be supportive and see what happened next.

They felt the train grind to a stop. "Ready?" he asked, a nervous gleam in his eye.

"Yes, let's go home."

The train depot was on South street which, they found out, ran parallel to Main, where their house was. Caleb tracked down a cab, or a public car, to drive them to their home. They had two trunks and a few other items in addition to themselves. They couldn't walk that far.

After about ten minutes of loading the cab once they located one, they arrived at their house. Tiny, but in good condition. "Caleb! It's so adorable. Thank goodness for Papa Jake and Dad!"

"Yes, and Patrick."

They walked in, Caleb making multiple trips for their things, and looked around. Amy found the baby room first. "Oh! Look at this sweet peas. Look what your Papa's did for you. They love you so much." The room was small but it accommodated two cribs, a dresser, a small bed, and a rocking chair, that Amy immediately sat down in.

The walls were painted a light green which would work for girls and boys and the bedding had stripes of cream and green that matched.

Caleb walked in and smiled. "Hey, do you like it?"

"I do. It's wonderful."

"I got the rest of our stuff moved in. Now we just need to unpack."

"That will give me something to do tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to relax, give them their baths, and curl up on the couch with you. We're finally home. We have our own home and privacy, sweetie. We've never had our own place before."

"True. We should go to bed early."

She chuckled at that. "Dinner, baths, bed?"

"Perfect."

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

Amy fed the babies and then laid back down. Caleb rolled over and wrapped his arm around her waist. "You awake?" he mumbled.

"I fed the babies."

"This bed is comfortable."

"Dad apparently thinks everyone should have a featherbed," she said, laughing.

"Did Ma tell you that story?"

"Yeah. So funny. She said it's a necessity."

"Mmm. I agree." He laid his chin on her shoulder and sighed.

"Caleb, when do you need to report?"

"This is Friday? I have to go to orientation next Friday and then they will tell me when I start."

She nodded and pulled his arm tighter around her. She missed him already.

"Babe, what's worrying you?"

"Nothing, I just….nothing."

"You promised to tell me." He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her over.

"I miss you."

"Honey, I'm right here." She buried her face in his chest and squeezed him tighter. "I promise you I will be here as much as I can. Tomorrow I will go find Sargent Powell and his wife. I'll invite them to come for dinner so we can meet them. Patrick told me that she will be a great friend for you."

"You're my best friend Caleb."

"I know, and you're mine, but Patty can help you when I'm gone." She nodded.

"Lets go to sleep, ok?"

"I can't. I'm getting up." She needed time alone, which was ironic because

that's what she was worried about. The fact that she needed and relied on her husband so much scared her because she knew their life was going to involve him being away a lot.

"Honey."

"Stay here Caleb, please. I need to think."

She ended up falling asleep on the couch and woke up to babies crying and a knock on the door. She hurried in to tend to the them. "Caleb, can you get the door? I'll feed them." He threw a shirt on and hurried to the door.

He opened the door and found a woman, about his mom's age standing there with a toddler on her hip and a basket in her hand. "Morning. Caleb Thornton?"

"Yes ma'am. You're Patty Powell?"

"Yes dear. I hope I'm not too early. I get up when Rob leaves for work and I forget that not everyone does."

"No ma'am. Please come in. As you can hear, we're up." The babies were still crying.

"Well Caleb, this is my youngest son, David. He's two. Say hi, Davie!"

"Hi!" He leaned forward and held out his arms for Caleb to hold him.

"Hi buddy."

"How old is your baby, Caleb?"

"We have twins actually. They are three months."

"Twins? Wow. Boys or girls?"

"One of each. Meredith and Mason."

"Oh, I can't wait to meet them." Since her hands were free, she started unpacking her basket. "If you point me to where your plates and silverware are, I can set out breakfast."

"That's ok, I'll do it." He stood up, still holding Davie, and grabbed four plates and the necessary utensils while she unwrapped something that smelled amazing. "Thank you for bringing us breakfast. I was going to come find you and Sargent Powell later to invite your family to supper. I wanted my wife to meet you."

"You are very kind, Caleb, but I certainly don't expect you to feed our family. It's very large."

"How many kids do you have?"

"Six. David here, and then five older. That's eight people that you certainly don't need to feed."

"I come from a large family, so it wouldn't be an issue. Besides, I really want to make sure that Amy gets to know you."

"Is she nervous about being without you?"

"Yeah, this is going to be a challenge for her to be alone with both babies. We've always been together, since we were children, with the exception of when we both went to college and then one summer."

Amy walked in a few moments later with both babies. "Good morning."

"Morning, Ames. This is Patty. She brought breakfast."

Patty jumped up and hugged Amy. "Its nice to meet you, Amy. May I hold one of them?"

"Sure." She smiled and nodded to Mason. She looked at Caleb holding a young boy. "Is he your son, Patty?"

"Yes. He's my youngest, Davie."

"He's adorable." He had red curly hair and green eyes, just like Patty. "He likes you Caleb."

The three got to know each other a little better over the sausage and egg dish Patty brought. Caleb sat back and watched his wife with her, an immense relief settling over him. They were getting along great.

Pretty soon all three kids were sleeping and it was time for Patty to go. "Ok, Amy. I live two houses down. I will come visit as often as I can, if you don't mind kids tagging along. When I can't come, Lily, my oldest, will come help you. She's done with school now and looking for something to fill her days."

Amy nodded and hugged the woman that she was already friends with after just one meal. "Please do and tomorrow night, please come for dinner."

"Ok, but we'll bring some food too, so you don't need to worry about the whole meal."

When Patty and Davey walked out, Amy sighed.

"Ames?"

"She's wonderful. It's like having a mixture of my mom and your mom here with me."

"That's what I was thinking."

Amy kissed her daughter's soft hair and smiled. She would be ok. She would miss Caleb terribly, but she would rely on Patty and she would make it through.

THE AVERY HOUSE, HARRIS TOWN

Jake walked up behind Charlotte, who was washing dishes, and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Hey," he whispered, kissing her ear.

"Hi. What are you up to?"

"I was thinking."

"Good thoughts?"

"Always. I think we should go on a honeymoon." She set the last dish on the counter and turned around.

"Ok. To where?"

"Anywhere you would like to go."

"Anywhere?"

"Yes. Name it."

"Hmmm." She put her arms around his neck and stepped dangerously close to him, her lips teasing his. "San Francisco?"

"Done." He kissed her deeply and then sighed. "I love you, Charlotte Hunt."

"I love you."

"Oops sorry," Maddie said from the doorway.

"It's ok, sweetheart," Charlotte said, pulling away. "I have a question for you."

"Sure, Grandma." Maddie noticed how even though her grandmother had stepped away from Papa, he kept holding her hand and watching her, love written all over his face.

"Your Papa and I are leaving on a trip for the rest of the summer. Can you and Maggie handle this place? There are two more families passing through town in the next few weeks."

"Yes ma'am. We will be just fine. When do you leave?"

"Probably next week."

"I'll be ready."

A FEW DAYS LATER

Maddie turned as she heard the door to the parlor open. She assumed it was her grandmother so she didn't turn. "I'm making a blueberry cobbler, Grandma. Papa's favorite."

"I like blueberries too," he said quietly. Maddie gasped and turned.

"Nate!" She ran over and hugged him, forgetting about the blueberry juice on her hands. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on, afraid if she let go, he would disappear. "Are you here? I'm not dreaming?"

"I'm here. I missed you, Maddie. So much." He leaned back slightly and looked in her eyes. He had missed looking in her eyes and holding her hand and saying her name and…he had missed everything.

He lowered his head and kissed her. He had missed that too.

Jake cleared his throat as he walked in the room. "Good afternoon, Maddie, Nathan." He met Maddie's eyes, causing her to blush.

"Papa. I'm making blueberry cobbler for tonight," she blurted.

"So I see. I also see poor Nathan has blueberry stains all over the back of his shirt."

"No! Nate, I'm so sorry!" She turned him and gasped. Around the neck and his upper shoulders, little blueberry drips stood out against his white shirt. "I'll buy you a new shirt."

"No need." He pulled his shirt over his head, leaving only his white cotton, short sleeve T-shirt. "It was worth it," he whispered. Maddie blushed and then noticed the muscles in his arms looked bigger and his arms were a deep tan color.

She spun around, trying not to stare at him in his T-shirt and concentrate on the cobbler, but the image of his strong arms was burned forever in her brain and she wasn't upset about it.

"Maddie, will you come to my house for dinner tonight?"

She turned and looked at only his eyes. "I will ask, but Em might have to come too."

"I don't care, as long as you're there." She nodded and stared at his lips. He wanted to kiss her too, but her grandfather was watching.

"Might as well just kiss her so she can finish my cobbler," Jake muttered with a laugh.

"Papa! Can you maybe give us two minutes alone? He just got back."

"Two minutes." He walked out and Maddie turned toward Nate, her hands, now dry of berry juices, resting on his bare forearms. He leaned down and kissed her slowly, making the most of the two minutes.

"I love you," he whispered stepping back and then forward again, kissing her once more.

"I love you too." She hugged him and then watched him leave, her lips tingling. She sighed, wiping her happy tears from her eyes.

She hadn't realized how much she missed him until he was back, and he was early.

Maddie walked home an hour later with a blueberry cobbler in her hands to take to Nate's house. As she walked in the house, she found her Dad in the living room.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey, love. What did you make? It smells great."

"Blueberry cobbler."

"I can't wait for dessert."

"Well, actually, I was hoping I could take it to dinner at the Carlins. Nate's home."

"Oh. He's early?"

"Yeah. May I go, please?" He looked at her face, full of hope. He had promised to go easier on her and Nate.

"Sure, sweetie."

"Thanks Dad. I'll be home by eight."

"Ok. Have a good time."

"I will!"


	17. Chapter 17 - A turning point

***Dear readers, thank you for all your wonderful reviews and for sticking with me for so long on this journey. This chapter marks a turning point for Caleb in his own journey of becoming a Mountie like his Dad, our beloved Jack. I imagine what The Academy might have been like, and because it's from my imagination, it probably isn't accurate. Stay with me though.***

REGINA, SASKATCHEWAN, THE THORNTON HOUSE

Amy pulled the roast chicken and potatoes from the oven and placed them on top. Then she popped the biscuits in to warm and stirred the gravy. She hurried to set the table and light the candles. She poured the gravy into a bowl and put it on the table so she could hurry and change.

She found her light blue dress and slipped into it. Then she brushed her hair and added some vanilla lotion to her arms and neck.

She checked on the babies who were still sleeping. She hoped they would stay asleep until after dinner.

She pulled the biscuits out of the oven and carved the chicken as she waited for Caleb to get back from Rob and Patty's house.

Caleb walked in the house and smiled. "What smells so good?"

"Roast chicken, potatoes, biscuits. I also made blackberry pie for dessert." She walked over and kissed his cheek. "Hi, husband."

"You look beautiful, honey. What's the occasion?" He knew it wasn't their anniversary or anyone's birthday.

"I want to have a romantic dinner with you." She shrugged. She knew once he started his training, there wouldn't be many occasions to be alone.

"Sounds great. Let me wash my hands and I'll be ready."

A few moments later, they joined hands at the table and he prayed, thanking God for his amazing wife and children and of course the meal He had provided.

Once they started eating, they chatted about what Rob had discussed with Caleb. Caleb had been curious about whether he would be allowed to live at home while at The Academy.

"Rob said it is policy to live in the dorms but I would be allowed to come home on Saturday night as long as I return by Sunday night."

"One day a week?"

"For the first six months."

"What happens after that?"

"Um…I don't want to think about that."

"You mean you don't want to tell me?"

"Pretty much. Let's have some pie." He jumped up and sliced them each a piece.

"Caleb, tell me."

"I'd rather not."

The babies woke up then, demanding her attention. She walked away to the nursery leaving Caleb in the kitchen.

HARRIS TOWN, THE CARLIN HOUSE

"Nate, it's good timing that you're home early," Brandon mentioned.

"Oh Yeah? Why's that?"

"I'm leaving in two days to go sell some cattle and drive more back home. I'd like you to come with me." He had two other hands going but he wanted to spend time with Nate.

"Oh." That was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to spend the last few weeks of summer with Maddie.

"You don't want to go? I thought you'd be excited."

"Well, I'd love to help you…"

"But."

"I want to spend time with Maddie before we go back to school."

"I see. Well, you think about it. I really need someone to help me."

"How long would we be gone, Dad?"

"About two weeks." There were five weeks left until school started again, so he and Maddie would still have three weeks together.

"I'll talk to Maddie later." He knew she would be disappointed but it would be a good opportunity for him.

During dinner, Nate was quieter than normal, but still attentive to Maddie. He held her hand and chatted, but she knew he had something on his mind.

When dinner was over, Dee took the kids to give them baths and left Brandon with Nate and Maddie eating their cobbler.

"Can we talk?" he asked her quietly.

"Sure."

"Dad told me he needs my help on a cattle drive for a few weeks."

"Starting when?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"It would be good for you to go, right?"

"Yes, but I wanted to spend time with you before school."

"We'll have a few weeks after you get back. I have to work at the boarding house anyway. Grandma and Papa are leaving for the rest of the summer and I'm helping Maggie run it until they get back."

He stared at his plate, pushing the cobbler around.

"Nate? Are you mad?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I guess I hoped you would miss me or not want me to go, but I guess you'll be busy." He stood up and walked to the porch.

She sat with Brandon for a moment. "Do you mind if I talk to him for a few moments?"

"Of course not. Go ahead."

She walked out to the porch and stood next to him.

"Nate, can you tell me what I did wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what's going on? You're acting mad and I don't understand."

"I just got home and I thought you'd want to spend time with me. Maddie, I missed you every second I was gone and I feel like now that I'm back, you don't want to spend time with me."

"Of course I do, but I thought your dad wanted you to go."

"He does."

"Then what does it matter how I feel? You're leaving anyway."

"Of course it matters. Can't you just tell me to stay?"

"You wanted me to tell you not to go?"

"Yes."

"I can't read your mind Nate. I was trying to be supportive and I've got to say, this is the most confusing conversation we've ever had."

"I guess it is." He sat on the step and pulled her down next to him.

"Tell me what you want me to say, Nate, and I'll say it."

"Nevermind, all I know is, I don't want to go, but I know I should. I want to stay with you."

"All I know is, I will miss you every second and I'll be waiting for you when you get back."

REGINA, THORNTON HOUSE

Caleb sat on their bed waiting. The babies were asleep in their crib across the room and Amy was taking her time getting ready for bed.

When she finally walked in he was speechless. "New nightgown, babe?" he finally spit out.

"Yeah, I made it, with Penny's help, when we visited last."

"You did a nice job."

"Thank you." She got in bed and turned out the lamp. "Night, Caleb."

"Wait, you come in here looking like that and decide it's time to sleep?"

"It's been a long day and you didn't seem to want to tell me about yours so I figured we'd go to sleep."

"Look, I just didn't want to upset you."

"So you'll what? Just not tell me? Six months from now you'll just hope I don't notice something is different?"

"No."

"Just tell me. What happens six months from now?"

"That's when our field training starts."

"Meaning what?"

"I'll be gone for three weeks out of the month."

"For how long?"

"Six months."

She nodded and watched him. He didn't seem to like it anymore than she did.

"Orientation is on Friday, yes?"

"Yes. I'll find out when my first day is."

She stood up and walked in front of him, placing her hands gently on his face. "Then I guess we better make the most of the days we have left."

HARRIS TOWN, THORNTON HOUSE

Maddie walked in the house and sat on the couch.

Elizabeth and Jack looked up from their books. "Did you have a good time, sweetie?"

"Why do boys have to be so confusing? Why can't they just say what they mean?"

Elizabeth laughed. "That's a question I fear will never have an answer, babe."

"I think I should go to bed. Goodnight ladies," Jack said as he got up.

"Freeze Jack. I think you need to be in this conversation."

"Oh no. This can only end badly. She needs advice from you, not me." He walked out of the room and up the stairs.

"Anyway, Maddie. What happened?"

"I don't even know, Ma! Nate was quiet during dinner. Then he told me he wanted to talk. He told me that Mr. Carlin needed him to help drive cattle for a few weeks."

"He just got back, though."

"I know, but it's something he should do since he's going to own part of his Dad's ranch one day. I told him it would be good for him to go and it was fine because I have to help with the boarding house anyway. He got mad and said he wanted to spend time with me before school started. He basically said it sounded like I would be too busy to be with him anyway and then walked off."

"Did he eventually explain it?"

"Yes, but it made no sense. He said he wanted me to ask him to stay. How could I possibly know that?"

Elizabeth laughed. "Maddie, men and women have had the same issue since the beginning of time. If only God made us with the ability to read each other's minds."

"It was a really confusing conversation."

"I bet. Is he going with his Dad?"

"Yes. He leaves the day after tomorrow and will be gone for two weeks."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'll miss him, but I will be busy too, so it will go by fast. Tomorrow, he wants to take me fishing. Is that ok?"

"If you take your brothers."

THE NEXT DAY

Nate knocked on the door of Maddie's house and waited and waited…and waited. Finally, because he heard lots of voices, he walked in. "Hello? Anyone home?"

"Hi!" Maddie said as she walked down the stairs. "I'm just waiting for Will and Drew. They're almost ready."

"Ok." She walked up and kissed his cheek. He smiled and touched her hand. "Last night…I'm sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it, Nate."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm positive. I'm just happy we get to spend the day together before you go."

"Me too." She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his back.

"I'm going to miss you, you know," she told him.

"No lovey dovey stuff Maddie!" Will said as he and Drew ran into the room.

"Ready boys?" She smiled at Nate and then walked out the door.

TWO DAYS LATER

Nate left early with Brandon and their two ranch hands. He tried to keep his mind on the task at hand, but he was distracted. It was getting hard to be with Maddie and not think of their future.

He had a plan about the day he would propose, her fifteenth birthday. She teased him about his need to plan everything, but in his mind, that was how nothing important would be overlooked. He had everything in his mind about how he would do it.

Now he just needed a ring. His uncle had paid him well for the two months he was there. He almost had enough to buy the one he found in the catalog at the store.

"Nathan!" His dad yelled.

"What?" He didn't hear anything else because he fell from his horse, knocked to the ground by a tree branch.

The next thing he knew, he opened his eyes to his Dad standing over him, a worried look on his face.

"Dad? What happened?"

"You hit your head on a branch."

"That explains the headache." He touched his forehead and winced. He looked at his fingers. "I'm bleeding?"

"The branch scratched you."

He attempted to get up but his Dad gently pushed him back down. "Stay down. You could have a concussion."

"We need to go." He again tried to get up, but was stopped.

"Stop being stubborn. We're not going anywhere until we make sure you can ride." After a few minutes Brandon sat next to him, giving him water from a cup. "What were you thinking about? I yelled your name five times."

Nate didn't answer, but his pink cheeks gave him away.

"Nate, listen to me. I understand how much you must like her…."

"Love her," he corrected.

"Love her, but you need to pay attention. You could have gotten trampled."

Nate knew he was right. "I'm sorry, Dad. I miss her." He wished he had stayed home.

"Well, you will get your wish. As soon as you can ride, we're headed home."

He wondered if he had said that out loud. "No, that will mean you miss out on a sale. I don't want to be the cause of that. I'll try harder."

Brandon stared at his son for a moment. Good grief, the boy was almost fifteen. How had time gotten away from him so fast? He thought back to almost ten years before when they had moved to Harris Town. They had camped in the meadow and Nate had been missing his Mama.

"Dad?"

"Nate, do you remember when we moved to Harris Town?"

"I remember bits and pieces. I know Mama died around that time, but the only thing I remember about her was she had long blonde hair. I don't remember anything else." The only Mama he knew was Diana and he imagined that he loved her as much as he would have loved his first Mama. "I'm sorry that I don't remember her. I was so young."

"Nate, there is nothing to apologize for. Unfortunately, as time passes, so do memories." He dug in his bag for a moment. "This is for you." He handed him a small box.

He opened it. "Dad?"

"She would have wanted you to have it." Brandon's tears started as he remembered how hard his wife had fought to bring their baby girl into the world. For hours she had labored only to bleed to death at the end. Their daughter went with her.

After she passed, he slipped her emerald engagement ring off her finger and kept it safe, knowing one day, Nate would meet a girl that he would want to marry.

"Dad? Are you sure?"

"She would have loved Maddie, Nate."

"Thank you. She'll love it."

REGINA, THORNTON HOUSE

Caleb got up, made tea and breakfast for Amy, and then helped her dress the twins.

"I have to go. I'll see you tonight, ok?"

"I love you."

"I love you." He stared at her, into her gorgeous blue eyes, and then kissed her goodbye.

"This is it," he said to himself. He had finally made it to The Academy. He wanted to make his parents proud. He wanted to be as good a Mountie as Jack was and make as much of a difference as he had. He needed to concentrate on his studies and his training. He needed to focus.

He walked to the gates of the large intimidating building and took a deep breath.

"Coming or going?" A loud voice shouted from just inside the gate.

"Coming, sir!" he said with as much conviction as he felt.

"Enter, Cadet!" Caleb stepped inside and stopped in front of the man. "Name."

"Caleb Thornton."

"Middle name, Thornton?"

"I'm sorry, sir?"

"Do you have a middle name?"

He didn't, or at least he didn't remember having one. "Jack," he blurted, again with conviction.

"Married or single, Thornton?"

"Married."

"Age."

"Seventeen, sir."

"Head inside. Pick up your uniform and head to the auditorium for further instructions."

"Yes, sir."

He smiled to himself as he walked in the door. He felt like a man, and yet, strangely, like a young boy who needed his Mama.

HARRIS TOWN, THE AVERY HOUSE

Em kept Maddie company as she worked, helping her clean and get things ready for the families that would be there that afternoon.

Evan Becker showed up, much to Maddie's surprise, but apparently not Em's. He sat down at the table, joined by Em, and they talked.

"I'm going fishing this afternoon, Em. Wanna go?"

"I can't. I'm helping Maddie here. Maybe tomorrow? Saturdays are usually free."

"Sure."

Maddie listened to the ease of their conversation. Em talked to Evan like an old friend. When she talked to Josh, it never actually seemed like a conversation. Em was always tripping over her words and saying things she didn't mean to say.

In Maddie's opinion, Evan was a much better pick for Em than quiet, shy Josh.

After Evan left, Maddie looked at her sister. "Sooo…"

"So…?"

"How do you feel about Evan?"

"He's my friend."

"Right, but he seems easy to talk to."

"He is," Em agreed.

"Pretty cute."

"Not as cute as Josh."

"A different cute. He isn't as shy as Josh is."

"What's your point, Maddie?"

"I don't have a point. Just observing."

"Look, I really like Josh but maybe Mom is right."

"About what?

"I'm not ready to be in a relationship. I need to grow up first. So I'm trying to forget about Josh and just be a kid. I am only twelve."

"You're almost thirteen."

"I'm not, though, and I'm not you. You're older, in the way you act. I'm just not there yet."

"Em, when you get there, any boy would be crazy not to like you."

"Thank you."

"I mean that. You are my beautiful, loving, outspoken sister and best friend and I love everything about you."

Em felt a tear roll down her cheek at Maddie's sentiment.

She stepped forward and hugged Maddie. "You don't have to say those things."

"That's how I feel, Em. And if Josh doesn't see those things in you, maybe Evan will."

THAT NIGHT, REGINA

Caleb walked in his house and sighed, smelling pot roast. "Ames?"

"Hey babe." She walked in the room and kissed him. "Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes."

"Ok, I'll go change and then I'll be there."

He hung his uniform in the closet and checked on the babies. "I'm going to miss you guys," he whispered, kissing their dark hair. "I love you so much."

Meri opened her eyes and gave him a sweet smile. "Hi, Mer. You look just like your beautiful Mama."

He reached in to pick her up. He changed her diaper and rocked her for a moment.

Amy walked in but watched from the doorway. "Caleb? When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow night. Tonight is our last night for awhile."

"For a week, right?"

"Two actually, and then one week after that."

She swore she would be brave when the time came, but seeing him holding Meri and obviously saying goodbye was almost her undoing.

He tried to put her down so he could comfort Amy but she cried the moment he laid her down. So he held her with one arm and hugged Amy with his other arm. No words needed to be spoken. They both knew what the other felt.


	18. Chapter 18 - Struggles and Life Choices

"Bye, babe. I'll see you soon." They clung to each other, trying to stretch out each moment. He kissed her again for about the hundredth time that day and then left before he changed his mind and gave up his dream just so he didn't have to leave her.

Ten minutes later, Amy heard the knock she knew was coming. Lily and Patty walked in with a basket of food and Davie.

"Hello, sweetheart!" the ever cheerful Patty greeted her. The last thing Amy felt was cheerful, but she smiled through her tears.

"Hi."

"So today, we are going to have fun."

"Patty, I really…"

"Don't feel like having fun? Too bad. We often need to do something we don't feel like, don't we?"

"Yes, we do." She couldn't deny the truth in that statement.

"Ok, so Davie? Tell Amy what we are going to do!"

"Cookies! Play!"

"Yep. We are going to make lots of cookies and play some games. What should we do first?"

The rest of the afternoon, they spent making about three dozen cookies of various flavors and playing games with Davie. Lily cleaned, even though Amy insisted she didn't need to and Patty talked non-stop.

By dinnertime, Amy just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry herself to sleep, but instead, she ate a sandwich leftover from lunch and read to the babies. Then she fed them and put them in their crib. Finally, she grabbed one of Caleb's shirts, slipped it on, and pretended his arms were wrapped around her.

She prayed for the next two weeks to go quickly as she fell asleep on his pillow.

SUNRISE, DORMS AT THE ACADEMY

Caleb and his bunkmates were awakened by the sound of a large bell. "Cadets! Up NOW!" Constable Swift bellowed. They were next ordered to dress and follow Swift on a five mile run before making their bunks perfectly presentable and eating breakfast.

Caleb considered himself to be in pretty good physical condition, but after the run he was subjected to, he knew he had a lot to improve on. By the time they returned back to the dorms, his legs felt like rubber and he felt like he could fall over if the wind blew.

"TOMORROW WE'LL DO BETTER, RIGHT CADETS?" Swift yelled.

"Yes, sir!" they responded back.

"MAKE YOUR BEDS FOR INSPECTION! TWO MINUTES!"

Caleb was lucky he had a Constable for a father, because he could make a bed…or so he thought. When Swift walked over he stared at the bed, then back at Caleb, and laughed. "YOU CALL THAT MAKING A BED? TRY AGAIN CADET! THIS TIME DO IT RIGHT!"

After two more failed attempts, Swift showed him how it was expected to be done. "NOW DO IT!"

Caleb, embarrassed and frustrated, followed instructions and finally satisfied Swift.

By the time they arrived in the mess hall, breakfast was almost over. "Thanks Thornton. Now we have cold eggs and burnt toast." Caleb blushed at Cadet Graham's sarcastic comment. He would do better the next day, if it killed him.

HOPE VALLEY, HOGAN HOME

Abigail re-read the telegram for the third time, hardly believing what it said.

"Abby? I'm home," Frank called from their front room.

"In here, Frank." He walked in the kitchen expecting to smell dinner, but instead, dinner still sat uncooked on the counter.

"Abby, is everything ok?"

"I have news," she said, still staring at the piece of paper in her hands.

"Is it good news?"

"Yes, at least I hope you'll think it is."

"Well, tell me."

"Remember how I told you that Mrs. White was selling her restaurant in Harris Town?"

"Yes, I remember."

"I made her an offer, Frank and she accepted it."

"What?" He looked at his wife, hardly believing she would do something so huge without discussing it with him first.

"She accepted it."

"Why on God's green earth would you buy a restaurant and not tell me first?"

"Frank, don't be mad."

"Are you serious? Doing this involves selling this house, the café, and me finding a replacement here. Then we would move our family and need to find a house there, and I would be out of a job."

Abigail looked at her husband, normally calm and quiet, now on the verge of yelling. "Frank, you have been unhappy lately. I did this for you. I want you to enjoy life again."

"I have been unhappy, but not with anything in particular. We should have discussed this, Abigail."

"Let's discuss it now."

"It's too late. You made the decision for all of us and now our lives are going to change."

He walked into their bedroom and slammed the door, very uncharacteristic of Frank.

Of course, this idea of Abigail's was not something she would have normally done either. She, however, could see Frank slipping further into unhappiness and she thought a change would do wonders. Now she just needed to convince him of that.

THAT EVENING

Frank stayed in their bedroom all evening, not coming out for dinner or to help with dishes as he always did. Once Carrie was in bed, she wandered in there to talk with him.

He was sitting in bed, reading his bible, just as he always did. "Honey?"

"Abigail, I really just need to think."

"I need you to talk to me Frank. Can you give me just ten minutes?"

He put his bible on the table next to him and sighed. "Do you understand why I'm upset?"

"I understand that I should have told you about buying the restaurant. I'm sorry about that. I don't understand why you have been unhappy, because you refuse to tell me."

"Abby…"

"Frank, you used to tell me everything. Now, it's like you are pulling away. I don't know how to fix it and all I could think of to do was to move."

"That doesn't fix anything. It just means we take Carrie away from her friends and I won't have a job!"

"I took care of that, Frank. The pastor in Harris Town is dividing his time between there and Deer Falls. That means there are only two weeks in a month where there is a service in Harris Town. This would help him and maybe you too."

"Ok, so, since you took care of everything else, where are we going to live?"

"The Pastor is moving in with his sister in town. His home, which is provided by the town, is perfect for us. Don't you see, this is an answer to our prayers?"

"What prayers? I didn't ask to move. You decided that on your own."

"Fine, Frank. If you are so dead set against us moving, I will send a telegram in the morning to Mrs. White telling her I can't buy it after all."

"And have it be my fault that we can't help her? No! Just tell me what day we leave and I'll be there." He stood up and left the room and then the house, walking the few hundred feet to the church.

Frank sat on the front pew and prayed for patience and for Abigail to have patience when he told her what was going on.

A WEEK LATER

Nate didn't seem to have a concussion, so they continued on to their destination, making it just in time to sell their cattle and buy more, ending up with a profit at the end. Nate forced himself to stay focused on his task and not think about Maddie until he was going to sleep at night.

They would be home in a few more days and he couldn't wait. He shut his eyes as he drifted off to sleep, thinking of her beautiful eyes and adorable dimples.

HOPE VALLEY, THE CAFÉ

Abigail busied herself in the kitchen, showing Carrie how to make apple muffins. Her two helpers took care of the dining room, leaving her to concentrate on two of the things she loved best, spending time with her daughter and baking.

"Mama? Is Daddy coming home tonight?"

"I'm not sure, sweetie. He's been busy at work, so he has been staying at the church." That's at least what she assumed. Since their fight, he had been gone a lot and only slept at home twice. She had gone to see him a few afternoons with lunch, but there was a note on his door each time that said he was visiting someone and would return later.

"Abigail?" Joanna said as she hurried into the kitchen.

"Yes, Jo?"

"Someone needs to speak with you in the dining room. He says it's very important."

Abigail wiped her hands on her apron and walked into the dining room, but the only person there was Frank. He looked up as she stared at him, a slight smile on his face. "Abby." He held his hand out for her to take and then led her out the door.

"Frank, Carrie is in there."

"Jo will watch her."

"I need to make dinner."

"We won't be gone long." He continued leading her down the street and to the lane that led to the pond. "I need to talk to you."

They sat on the bench for a moment, not speaking, but he still held her hand, rubbing her fingers with his thumb.

"I have a daughter."

"Yes dear, she's sitting in the café right now."

"She's twenty three and she lives with her mother in Buxton. Her name is Theresa."

Abigail slipped her hand out of his and walked away. "Abby! Please wait!"

He grabbed her hand and stopped her. When her eyes met his, there wasn't anger there. It was worse. There was hurt.

"Before you assume everything bad, I didn't know about her until six months ago."

She started walking away again. He stopped her but she pulled her hand away again and walked faster.

He followed her back to town and into the café. She went back to helping Carrie as if nothing had happened.

"Abby, we need to talk." She looked up at him, the same hurt look as before and continued baking. "Carrie, sweetie? Can you go visit Clara for a few moments, please?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Thank you, baby."

"We are not doing this now, Frank Hogan. There are people eating just over there."

"That's why I took you to the pond. Privacy, but you walked off."

"Do you blame me? It's kinda like when you left after I told you about moving. You left and slept somewhere else. Where were you Frank? Buxton?"

"Abigail, you know I didn't leave town."

"No I don't. You hid this from me for six months!"

"I didn't hide it."

"Yes you did. You have a child, by another woman, and you didn't tell me. I thought I knew my husband. I see now, I was completely wrong."

"Abby…"

"Go Frank. I have to work now."

He walked out the door toward Clara's shop. When he got there, he arranged for Carrie to spend the night with Clara so he and Abigail could fix things.

THAT EVENING, HOGAN HOUSE

Abigail walked in to find a candlelit dinner waiting for her. He had gone to a lot of trouble to make it look beautiful. Her white china with blue flower edging, crystal glasses, a bottle of wine, and his specialty, beer battered fish and green beans with baby potatoes.

He had also placed a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the table. When he walked in, it was all she could do not to smile and walk over and kiss him senseless. He had put on his dark gray suit, white shirt and gray tie. He looked so handsome, it brought tears to her eyes.

All of that trouble didn't erase the enormity of the secret he had kept from her.

"Abby, dinner is ready, sweetheart." He gestured to the table and offered his hand.

"I bought Carrie and myself tickets to Harris Town. We're leaving in two days."

She walked out and he followed. "So that's it? You're leaving me without letting me give an explanation?"

"No, Frank. I'm going to tell Mrs. White and the Pastor that we won't be moving to town. I didn't think it was fair to do it by telegram. We will be gone about a week." She changed into her robe and looked at him. "I'm not sure where to go from this point so I'm sleeping in Carrie's room."

THREE DAYS LATER, HARRIS TOWN

Abigail and Carrie stepped off the train and immediately went to the boarding house.

"Aunt Abigail! Hi, Carrie." Maddie walked over and hugged both of them.

"Maddie, it's good to see you."

"You too!"

"Is your Ma here?"

"No she's at home."

"I need to talk with her. Would you mind if Carrie stayed here with you?"

"Of course not."

Abigail headed to the ranch, using the lengthy walk to clear her head.

However by the time she got there, she was even less clear on what was happening.

"Abigail?" Jack walked out of the barn when he saw her. "What a surprise!"

"Hi, Jack." He hugged her and then looked at her face.

"Abigail, are you here alone?"

"Carrie is at the boarding house with Maddie. I need to see Elizabeth."

"I was just headed in for lunch so I'll walk with you." She nodded as she followed him in.

"Hey babe. Someone's here to see you."

Elizabeth looked up from giving Abbie and J.T. their lunches. "Abigail? Hi!" She stood up and hugged her and then felt her crumple against her. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I need to talk to you, please?"

"Of course."

Jack took over with the kids and Abigail and Elizabeth went up to Jack and Elizabeth's bedroom.

"What's going on?" She took Abigail's hand and waited.

"I think I'm losing Frank," she blurted.

"What do you mean?"

"The last six months he has been like a different person. He is sad all the time or really quiet. He wouldn't tell me why or how to help him. He just works and sleeps. So I made a decision."

"What was that?"

"I bought the restaurant here in Harris Town. I thought if we moved from Hope Valley, maybe he'd be happier, but he just became angry because I decided without him."

"He doesn't want to move?"

"No he doesn't. He told me to tell him when we're leaving and he'd be there."

"Then what happened?"

"He took me on a walk to the pond. I thought he was finally going to open up. Instead he told me that he has a twenty three year old daughter living in Buxton."

"What?"

"Yes. He apparently has only known about her for six months. He thinks that makes it better! He's known her for six months, but he kept it from me, Elizabeth!"

"Did you ask him why?"

"No, I got mad and we haven't really talked since." Or slept in the same bed.

"Abigail, you always told me not to jump too quickly to conclusions and that communication is so important in marriage."

"I know. I was hurt that he kept that from me."

"You need to talk to him. Give him a chance to explain."

"What could possibly be his reason for not telling me?"

"Maybe he felt ashamed, or maybe he thought you'd be upset about his former life."

"He is a wonderful father. Why would I be upset he had a daughter before?"

"I don't know. Why are you?"

Abigail thought about that for the next few days and the whole train ride home. It shouldn't bother her. She knew about his past. Not everything, but everything that mattered. Somehow, though, she felt a bit betrayed.

When they finally got home, she dropped Carrie off at Clara's and went to find her husband. Unfortunately when she arrived at the church, there was a note stating he went to Buxton and he would be back in a few days.

So she waited.

HARRIS TOWN

Nate, Brandon, and the two hands that went on the drive, rode into town a few days late. As soon as they took the cattle home, Nate bathed, changed clothes, and rode to town to see Maddie.

He walked into the boarding house and heard her chatting with Em and Jay. "Anyone home?"

Maddie smiled at Em and then walked in to see him. "Hi," she said with a grin.

"Hey. Sorry we were late. I had a mishap."

She looked at him and noticed a faint scar on his forehead. "What happened?" She touched it gently giving him chills.

"Um…well I was distracted and I rode into a tree branch and fell off my horse."

"Nate! You could have been hurt so badly. What distracted you?"

"You." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"I wasn't even there." She put her hands on her hips.

"You look so cute standing there like that. Oh, and by the way, you were there." He took her hand and placed it over his heart. "You're always with me, in here."

"That is very sweet of you. I don't want to be the cause of you getting hurt though."

He stepped closer, his fingers grazing her face. "I missed you." She put her hand over his.

"I'm glad you're back and I'm glad you're not hurt." She hugged him and then stepped back. "Will you come for dinner tonight?"

"Sure. I'll be there."

REGINA, THORNTON HOUSE

Caleb walked in the house, anxious to see his wife and babies. What he didn't expect was to also see Patty, Lily, Davie, and who he assumed was two more of Patty's children.

"Hi!" A little girl around five or six said, waving at him.

"Hi. What's your name?"

"Anna. Are you a Mountie like my Daddy?"

"I'm going to be, yes." Patty walked in to see where Anna had run off to.

"Oh! Caleb. You're home. We'll get out of your hair."

"No problem, ma'am. You don't have to leave right now."

"I'm sure you're wanting to be with your family just now. Come Lily, Anna, Davie, Henry. Time to go now."

Amy walked in to see why everyone was leaving. "Caleb."

"We will see you Monday, ok Amy?" She nodded but her eyes were glued to her husband. Patty chuckled and left the house with her kids.

"Hi, honey."

She sighed and walked over, tears filling her eyes, her heart aching for her to be in his arms. She melted into him, loving the warmth and love that radiated from him. "Are you hungry?"

"I don't want food right now." He leaned down and kissed her slowly, making her forget about everything else.

LATER THAT AFTERNOON

Caleb stroked her soft black hair as she lay sleeping with her head on his chest. He heard Meri babbling to her brother in the crib across the room. He didn't want to move though. He was exactly where he wanted to be.

He kissed her forehead as she opened her eyes. "Hey." She lifted her head and kissed him. "Stay right there." She got up, wrapping her robe around herself.

He watched her pick up the babies and bring them back to bed with her.

"Good grief, Ames. You are beautiful." She smiled.

"And you, husband, looked amazing in your uniform." She didn't add the "and out of it," that she had thought to herself.

He chuckled as he took Mason from her. "Hey buddy. You have grown so much. What did Daddy tell you about that?"

Mason gave him a crooked smile and cooed at him.

"Ames, tell me what you've been doing while I was gone."

"A lot actually. Ten minutes after you left, Patty showed up and distracted me. We made cookies and played games. She's been teaching me how to make different recipes and how to sew. She also suggested I write letters to our families at least once a week and keep a journal."

"I know Ma loves her journal."

"I even left the twins with Patty for an hour the other day so I could go to the store. I bought a journal for myself."

"I'm glad. Does it help?"

"It does. I am so grateful for Patty. It's like having both of our mothers and Charlotte here all at once. That helps when I'm missing everyone."

Meri started indicating she was hungry so Amy untied her robe and fed her. "Can you hand me, Mason?" He put a pillow under her left arm and positioned Mason so he could eat too. "Thank you, babe." Her eyes caught his as he watched them. "Tell me about The Academy."


	19. Chapter 19 - We need to Talk

HOPE VALLEY

Abigail and Carrie dressed and walked to the café, like every morning, eating breakfast there.

"Mama, can I go see Clara?"

"After breakfast, sweetie."

"Daddy!" Carrie ran in and hugged Frank.

"You're home," Frank said as he hugged Carrie back.

"I thought you were in Buxton," Abigail mentioned to him as she tied her apron around her waist.

"I was. I'm back." He walked up to her and touched her arm, fully expecting her to move her arm from his touch but she didn't. "Abby, we need to talk."

"Yes we do. I'll bring you lunch at the church."

He nodded and walked out the door.

The morning flew by with seemingly everyone in Hope Valley needing breakfast. Clara said Carrie could stay with her until dinner so Abigail made lunch for Frank and herself and walked over to the church.

She knocked on the door to his office. Normally she walked in, but she was nervous.

"Come in," he called from inside.

She opened the door and walked in, setting her basket on his desk. He stood up and walked around the desk to meet her. He reached out to touch her, needing to so badly it physically hurt. She walked forward and wrapped her arms around him, her head tucked against his chest.

"Frank," she said through her tears. "I'm so sorry."

"No, I'm sorry." He leaned down and captured her lips with his, wrapping her completely in his arms.

"I missed you," she whispered when he finally pulled back.

He took her hand and held it as they both sat down. "Abigail, I need to explain." She took a deep breath and tried to focus. "You know about my past, sweetheart. I wasn't a good man and I didn't always make good choices. I met this woman when I was about twenty five and deeply involved with the gang. I met her at the bar in town and we were attracted to each other and we weren't responsible. Once we had finished the robbery in the town we were in, we moved on and I never saw or heard from her again. Until about six months ago. She knew me before, as Matt Landry, and she knew I had gone to prison so she never told me about Theresa."

"How did she find you now?"

"Theresa asked her about who her father was. She wanted to know before her mom passed away. She told her my former name and Theresa hired an investigator to find me."

"What's her name?"

"Laura."

"What's wrong with Laura?"

"She had cancer."

"Had?"

"Yes, she died about a week ago. That's why I went to Buxton. I also went to tell Theresa that we are moving so I won't see her as often."

"No, I told Mrs. White and the Pastor that we're staying here."

"I sent them a telegram, honey. I told them to expect us within the next month."

"I don't want to move if it means you can't see your daughter."

"Abby, I will still see her, just maybe once a month instead of twice or three times. You were right, I need a change."

"We, need a change."

A MONTH LATER

Abigail looked around their home one last time, making sure they hadn't left anything behind. Empty rooms looked bigger than she remembered.

"Everybody ready to go? The train will be here soon," Frank told them.

"Yes, Daddy," Carrie responded. Believe it or not, Carrie was excited. She loved the kids in Harris Town and missed Auntie Beth. She wanted to go to school with Will and Drew and Em. She was excited to start their new adventure.

Abigail, on the other hand, was moving from the place she had lived with Noah and Peter, the place she buried them, the place she met, fell in love with, and married Frank, and the place Carrie was born. It was also the place where Elizabeth Thatcher, a young, naïve, schoolteacher from the east, changed her life for the better. That lovely woman was the best reason she could think of to be excited about moving, besides making her own family happier.

HARRIS TOWN, THORNTON HOUSE

Elizabeth sighed as she rolled over onto her back. This particular baby was driving her nuts. She or he, decided to be on the exact opposite sleep schedule as Mama, so when Elizabeth wanted to sleep, her baby was awake and moving. When Elizabeth got up for the day, the baby slept.

At six months pregnant, she was uncomfortable laying on her back so she tossed and turned, keeping Jack awake.

"Babe, let me rub your back."

"No, sweetie. I'll go make tea. Maybe that will help."

She stood up and walked down the stairs in just her nightgown. She was also prone to hot flashes so the less clothing the better.

Em was in the kitchen, sipping warm milk. "Hi, Em. Can't sleep?"

"No ma'am." She sipped again, staring off into space.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Sure."

Elizabeth set the kettle on the stove to heat up and then sat down across from Em. "Worried about something?"

"I don't know, Ma."

"Is it maybe Evan?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you spend a lot of time with him and your brothers. I thought maybe you found yourself liking him instead of Josh?"

Em didn't understand how she did it, but ninety nine percent of the time, she knew exactly what was going on or how a person was feeling. This was one of those times.

"I thought, the first time I met Josh, that I would marry him one day. I don't think so anymore."

"Why is that?"

"Because I was just going on what he looked like. I thought he was adorable and he made my heart beat faster. Now that I see how shy and boring he is, I realize he isn't someone I like to be around."

"Boring huh?"

"Yes! Good grief, Ma. I could fall asleep just listening to him speak."

"Em!" Elizabeth laughed at her outspoken daughter. "So Evan isn't boring?"

"No, he's not. We have a lot in common. I'm glad we're friends."

"Me too. He seems to make you happy."

"He does. I'm not sure if we'll ever be more than friends, but I'm trying to be patient."

"I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

"Thanks, but I didn't do anything."

"You have. You're thirteen in a few weeks and I've seen a change in you. I'm glad you took my advice."

"Me too, or I might have still been following boring old Josh around like a sad puppy instead of realizing what's right in front of my face."

Elizabeth laughed again. "Oh Em. I sure love you, babe."

"I love you too, Ma." She stood up and placed her cup in the sink and then kissed Elizabeth's cheek. "See you in the morning."

THE NEXT DAY

It was Saturday and, like usual, everyone in the family went their separate ways. Maggie gave Maddie a day off so she could spend it with Nate. Em, Evan, and the twins went fishing. Carlie spent the night at Livy's house so Jack and Elizabeth took Jay and Abbie to the pond behind their house for a picnic.

Maddie knocked on Nate's door. She was excited. They were doing something, but Nate wouldn't tell her what. He opened the door and smiled. "Hi."

"Hi!" Maddie smiled back. "New hat?" He had a brand-new black cowboy hat on his head and Maddie thought it made him look incredibly adorable.

"Yeah. Does it look ok?"

"Um…yeah. It looks nice."

"Nice huh?" He could tell he had gotten her attention.

"Mmhmm." Now she wasn't making eye contact.

He stepped forward and kissed the corner of her mouth. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." She blushed and looked at him again. "Oh goodness," she muttered to herself. She needed something to fan herself with, but that would be too obvious.

"Ready to go?" He looked at her with a smug grin on his face, waiting for an answer.

"Where are we going?"

"On a horseback ride."

"Alone?"

"Yes and no. We will start out alone, but we will end up with your parents at the pond."

"Oh." She was a bit disappointed. She wanted to be alone with him. Yes, she spent time with him at school and studying after school, but this was Saturday.

"Disappointed?"

"It doesn't matter. At least we're together." He took her fingers and led her to the barn to grab the horses.

She walked over to get up on her horse but stopped. "Nate?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled up at him and kissed his cheek.

"I love your hat too. You look adorable." She couldn't believe she had just told him that.

"How adorable?"

"Stop," she laughed, nudging him with her elbow.

"I want to know." She looked in his eyes, seeing his teasing mood.

"I changed my mind. You're a troublemaker." He stepped closer, turning her toward him, his lips mere centimeters from hers. "And adorable," she mumbled, wanting him to kiss her, but patiently waiting to see what he would do next.

Instead of kissing her, he stepped back and helped her on to her horse.

He was quiet while they rode. She thought something was wrong so she stopped her horse and got off. "Maddie? Why are you stopping?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He hopped off and took his hat off, setting it on the saddle.

"Why did you pull away in the barn?"

"It was a hard thing to do."

"Why though?"

"I guess we need to have a conversation."

"Ok. I'm listening."

"Maddie, I understand now why your parents think we should have someone with us when we are together."

"Why's that?"

"It took all I had in me not to kiss you right then."

"I was hoping you would."

"I know. I love you Maddie, but it is going to be at least a year and a half before we can get married."

"I know."

"I want you to trust me and I respect you too much to get carried away."

"I do trust you."

"Good, then trust me when I say, if I had kissed you, it would have been hard to stop."

"Oh, ok." Her cheeks turned pink and she smiled.

"I think I am going to just kiss your cheek for awhile." She nodded. "And I think we should meet up with your parents now." She nodded again. "Maddie, we're ok?"

"Yes, we're fine Nate."

"Ok, good."

REGINA, THORNTON HOUSE

"Daddy comes today, loves. Are we excited?" Meri smiled and kicked and Mason blew bubbles. That was all the excitement Amy would get from the almost five month olds. "Well, I'm excited. It's been a long week." She kissed their cheeks, getting more smiles and bubbles.

"Why don't we eat, so you can take nice long naps and Mama can spend time with Daddy."

As if they understood, they ate a good meal and promptly fell asleep, giving Amy a chance to make lunch for herself and Caleb and change into a nightgown and robe she had finished that morning. She was proud of her sewing attempts lately. She even made a scarf and socks for a Christmas gift for Caleb.

She turned, looking at herself in the mirror. The nightgown was light pink in color, ending just above her knees, with white lace trim. The robe matched. She had lost weight in the past few months, but her motherly curves remained and the nightgown accentuated them.

"Wow," Caleb said from the doorway. "Is that for me?"

"Just for you." She walked over and stood on her toes, kissing him softly. "I'm glad you're home."

"Me too."

"So I was thinking, lunch and then a bath? Or bath and then lunch?"

"How about bath first? Easier to do that if babies are sleeping."

"Good thinking husband." She grabbed his hand and led him into the bathroom.

About ten minutes later they sat back in the warm water and bubbles. "I need to tell you something, Ames."

"Ok. I'm listening."

"I'm worried we might not get enough time off to travel to Harris Town at Christmas."

"What! Why?"

"Swift says holiday is only two weeks. We need three. One week there, one week back, a week in town."

"Isn't there anything you can do?"

"I don't know yet. I will try everything I can, I promise you."

HARRIS TOWN, TRAIN DEPOT

Carrie could barely contain her excitement. "Mama, I want to go see Carlie and Em. May I go to the boarding house?"

"How do you know they are there right now? Let's get settled at our house first and then we'll go to the Thornton's, ok?"

"Yes, Mama." She looked around and then got excited again. "There's Em and Livy. May I go say hi?"

"Ok, Carrie. Go ahead."

She ran off and hugged the two girls. Abigail was happy she had friends already around her age. It would make everything easier.

"Mama! Em asked if I could stay overnight with them tonight at the Thornton's. May I please?"

"Let's go home, get settled, and then go talk to Auntie Beth. If she says ok, yes, you can."

"Ok, Mama!" She ran and told the girls and then came back. "Let's go home."

When they got to the small two bedroom home, Abigail was pleasantly surprised. She was grateful for the two bedrooms and the washroom with a bathtub. Frank seemed happy as well, which made her heart glad.

"Honey?" She walked in to their bedroom where he was unpacking their clothes.

"Need some help?"

He turned around and smiled. "Nope. All done." He held his arms out for a hug so she obliged. "I love you, Abby."

"I love you too, honey."

After the rough last few months, she was grateful for a change and grateful to be back in her husband's arms. "Frank, I'm going to go see Elizabeth. Do you want to come?"

"No, I'm going to use the quiet house to finish my sermon for tomorrow." He leaned down and kissed her twice. "Then tonight, just you and me. We'll build a fire and see what happens."

"Sounds perfect. I'll go to the store and pick up something for dinner." He kissed her again and watched her walk away.

The theme of his sermon was about showing gratitude. He certainly had a lot to be thankful for.

THORNTON HOUSE

Of course Elizabeth said Carrie could stay. She was always welcome.

"Do you and Frank want to come for dinner?"

"No, we're going to have a romantic evening at home since Carrie is here."

"That sounds nice. It's been awhile since Jack and I had a quiet dinner at home."

"Yes, dear, well that becomes much more difficult when you have as many children as you have."

Elizabeth giggled. "Oh yes. I wouldn't trade them for anything, though. My heart is so full, I can hardly describe it." She wiped her tears and smiled. "I'm so glad you moved here, Abigail. It may be selfish, but I need you sometimes, and now I have you, and it's wonderful."

"I need you too." She hugged Elizabeth for a moment. "What would I do without you?"

NOVEMBER IN HARRIS TOWN

Abigail decided to close the restaurant for Thanksgiving but to invite the Hunts, the Thorntons, and the Thomas' to the restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner.

Dinner for seventeen people would be a challenge, but Maddie, Em, and Maggie would be helping.

Maddie was missing Nate, but she understood that he had to be with his family for the holiday. He had kept his vow to slow down as far as showing affection and only kissed her cheek and held her hand on occasion.

Elizabeth stayed at home with the other kids and Jack until close to dinner time. She was about a month from her due date, so she was resting as much as possible.

When they finally arrived, the restaurant was arranged beautifully, looking very festive and relaxing. The centerpieces were small pumpkins turned into vases for dried flowers and floating candles.

Everyone took their seats and waited as three large turkeys were brought in, carved by the men in attendance. Dishes of mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, green beans, biscuits, and carrots filled the spaces left on the table.

The evening went off without a hitch. The youngest children in attendance, J.T. and Abbie, fell asleep on Maddie and Jack's laps after they ate, giving the adults and older children a chance to say what they were grateful for.

Jake started. He held Charlotte's hand, kissing her fingertips. "This last year has been difficult, but I learned to rely on my wife and our family to enjoy life again and be grateful every day that we are all together. So I am eternally thankful for each person at this table. I love you all very much."

All the women present teared up at his words.

Charlotte spoke up. "I think we all agree with your sentiments, dear. I am also thankful for all of you, but Jake, I am mostly thankful that I have you to love and rely on. I don't even have the words to tell you how much I need you. You are my best friend…" she couldn't speak anymore. She just wiped her cheeks and gripped his hand tighter.

He leaned over and kissed her temple, holding her close. "I love you, Charlotte."

Maddie watched her grandparents and all the older couples look at each other with so much love and it made her heart happy but at the same time, she became impatient to see Nate and express her own feelings. She stood and hugged Jay closer, walking into the kitchen. Her tears started without warning. She didn't know why she was crying but she was.

Jack walked in the kitchen to find her. "Honey? Why the tears?"

She shook her head and buried her face in Jay's soft blonde hair. Jack walked over and hugged both of them.

"I love you, Bug," he whispered, stroking her back. "I hate when you're upset. You can tell me."

"I don't know why I'm crying, Dad."

"You miss Nate?"

"Yes, but that's ok. I understand needing to be with family at holidays, but I guess, watching everyone telling what they're thankful for most, made me want him here. I love him, Dad. With all of my heart." She had admitted it before to him, but this felt different. "I want to marry him when I'm sixteen."

"Then I think you should."

"You do?"

"I think that waiting any longer may make it more difficult to stay pure." He figured, she was honest with him, so he could be too. "Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, and I agree. Nate told me that too. We decided not to kiss except on the cheek until we're closer to marriage. It's hard but it's a good thing."

"I'm very proud of you, babe. You are a wonderful example to your sisters and a remarkable young woman."

"Thanks Dad."

"Me Me? Sad?" Jay woke up and noticed her tears.

"No, buddy. I'm happy."

"You cry?"

"Happy tears." He put his hands on her face and kissed her cheek.

"Love you, Me Me." He laid his head back on her shoulder and sighed.

"I love you too, Jay." She loved him so much it hurt, in a good way, of course. She hoped to have a little boy like him one day.


	20. Chapter 20 - Making Changes

After church the next day, Maddie sought out Nate. "Hi," she said with a smile.

"Hey. Wanna eat lunch together? My family is going to the stream for a picnic. You can bring Em if you want." It was warm for the end of November.

"Ok, be right back."

Em, Evan, and Maddie walked over a few minutes later. "Do you mind if Evan comes too?"

"Of course not." He took her hand, lacing their fingers together. "Lets go."

They walked a few feet behind everyone else. She didn't say much, just enjoyed the feel of his hand holding hers. He looked at her, his eyes meeting hers. "I missed you yesterday," he said quietly.

"Me too."

"You're quiet." He squeezed her hand. "Something bothering you?"

"No. I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I'm with you." He kissed her forehead and smiled.

BUXTON

Theresa Landry dragged her sad, grieving body out of bed. She had lost her mother two months before and she still missed her like it was yesterday.

She had no family, except for her father, Frank. She lived alone, with constant reminders of the life she had enjoyed before her mother had learned of her cancer.

She didn't want to be sad anymore. She just wanted to wake up one day, looking forward to what the day would bring, not dreading it, knowing nothing would be different.

She wanted to marry a wonderful, kind man and have children. She wanted a normal life.

In Buxton, that wouldn't happen. So she was leaving. Frank had invited her to move to Harris Town so she could be close by him and his family, but she worried about whether or not his wife would accept her.

However, her mother had always taught her to give new things a try. So the next day, she would get on a train and head for her new life.

REGINA

Caleb went out for his run, his family still sleeping. One month to go and it would be Christmas. Swift still hadn't told him if their holiday could be extended a week so he and Amy could travel home to see their family. He sure hoped so because he missed them terribly.

By the time he hit the three mile point, he turned around and headed home, deciding to stop to see Rob. Maybe he had influence over Swift and could help convince him.

"Caleb, it's always been two weeks for Christmas. I don't know that I could convince anyone to change that rule."

"Sir, our family is very important to us. It takes a week to travel there and a week to travel back. Two weeks isn't long enough."

"Believe me, I understand. I will mention it, but I don't know if it will do any good."

"Ok, thank you, sir." Caleb stood up and walked the two blocks home, determined not to say anything to Amy until he had his answer.

THAT EVENING, HOGAN HOUSE

Frank slipped his arm around Abigail. "I got a telegram today."

"Did you?

"Yes, from Theresa."

"How is she?" Abigail closed her book and turned to Frank.

"She's moving here, to Harris Town. It's too hard for her to be in Buxton where everything reminds her of her mother. She wants to start over."

"That's good. I'm glad you'll be near her."

"I think you'll really like her. She reminds me of Clara. She's quiet and calm, but has a sweet way about her."

"What does she look like?"

"She has long brown hair and gray eyes, like her mother. She's thin and tall. She's beautiful."

"It will be nice to meet her."

"She's going to stay at the boarding house," he mentioned.

"Does she want a job?"

"I'm sure she will. I know she can sew a little, but she's been taking care of her mother. I'm not sure what talents she has."

"She can work for me. I need another cook."

REGINA

Caleb held Amy for a few moments before he had to head back to The Academy. "I'll see you in a week, babe."

"Ok." It wasn't getting easier for her when he left. Even though it wasn't easier, she knew it was for their future and she was proud of him, so she didn't cry.

He touched her cheek and gazed deeply into her eyes. "You are an amazing wife, my love, and a wonderful mother. I will miss you so much." He kissed her once more and then walked out.

She locked the door behind him and went to write in her journal. She wrote in it every night before bed. She found it helpful in sorting her feelings, and when Caleb was home, she shared some of the things she'd written over the week.

THE THORNTON HOUSE, HARRIS TOWN

Elizabeth struggled to get into a sitting position due to her swollen tummy.

Everyone was out of the house except for J.T. and Abbie. The older kids were in school and Jack was working in the barn, so at least he wasn't too far away if she needed him.

"Mama!" J.T. and Abbie called from their rooms. Jay slept in the boy's room and Abbie with the girls.

"Mama, me potty!" She shuffled into the boy's room to help him down. She knew he could climb out on his own, but was grateful he didn't. A three year old boy could get into a lot of mischief when left alone.

"Ok, bud. Go. I'll get your sister." He scampered off to the bathroom and she walked across the hall for Abbie. "Morning, love!"

"Mama," she said as she lifted her arms for a cuddle. Elizabeth changed her diaper and then set her down. "Jay?"

"He's in the potty. Let's go find him."

They finished in the bathroom and then went to eat breakfast.

"Cold, Mama," Jay said with a shiver.

"Mama will build a fire and we can cuddle under blankets when we are done eating."

"Me done!" he blurted. "Bebe done."

She looked at her own plate and realized she wasn't hungry anymore anyway. "Ok, then. Let's go."

They spent the rest of the morning reading books and snuggling under the blankets by the fire.

Jack came in around lunch time and found them sleeping on the couch.

"Honey?" He kissed her forehead and touched her cheek. "Babe? You feeling ok?"

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Hi. What time is it?"

"About noon."

"Oh! I'm sorry. I'll make you lunch." She started to get up but he stopped her.

"No, I'll make it. You stay here."

After a few moments she wandered into the kitchen. "Jack I can finish making lunch."

"All done. I just made sandwiches." She nodded. "Are you doing ok?"

"Yeah. Just tired." He set her plate down and helped her sit and then sat next to her. "Do you want me to draw you a bath?"

"No, that's ok. I know you're busy. The kids will be up soon and they'll want to eat."

He took her hand and pulled her gently to his lap. "Mrs. Thornton, nothing is more important to me than you and our babies." He kissed her softly. "I can tell you don't feel well, so I'm going to take care of you."

She nodded and leaned her forehead against his. "I think I'm getting close, Jack. I might have miscalculated the date." He put his hand on her tummy.

"I can't wait to meet her."

"You think it's a girl, Jack?"

"Its just a feeling."

"What do you want to name her?"

"I get to pick?"

"Yep, first and middle name. It's all you, love. I trust you."

"Great! Do I pick if it's a boy too?"

"Sure, why not?"

THE NEXT AFTERNOON

Frank stood on the platform at the train station, waiting for Theresa to arrive. After about ten minutes, he heard the whistle as it pulled into town. He was nervous. Not about seeing her, but about introducing her to Abigail. He wanted them to get along and be friends.

As the train hissed to a stop, he stepped forward and watched for her.

"Frank!" She moved toward him, a small bag in her hand, and her other hand holding her hat on her head.

"Hi, sweetie." He opened his arms and pulled her close when she stepped toward him. "Welcome home."

"Maybe it will feel like it some day," she thought to herself.

"Do you have a trunk?"

"Yes, and another bag as well." They waited patiently as a porter unloaded all the bags and trunks on board.

The wagon Frank borrowed was close by so they took her items over there and climbed up on the seat. "Theresa, how are you?"

"I don't know." She had promised herself no tears. She was starting over and it should have made her happy. She wasn't though.

"Well, instead of going to the restaurant, let's go to the boarding house so you can get settled and rest."

"Ok." Maybe she was just tired. She watched people as they drove. People laughing and hugging. Children skipping and running around. There was even a young couple who were kissing by a tree. They all seemed happy. Would she find it too?

"Theresa? We're here." She hadn't noticed they had stopped moving.

He held his hands up to help her down. "Thank you," she said as he set her gently on the ground.

She walked inside with her suitcase and small bag.

"Good afternoon. Are you Miss Landry?" Charlotte asked.

"Yes ma'am."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Charlotte Hunt."

"Nice to meet you as well." Frank walked in the door with her trunk.

"Frank, let me help you," Jake said as he walked down the stairs. He took one end of the trunk.

"This is my husband, Jake," Charlotte told her. "Room five, gentleman."

They followed the men up the stairs to the second floor. "This is a beautiful house, Mrs. Hunt. Thank you for allowing me to stay here."

"Nonsense, dear. This is a boarding house. That's what it's here for."

"I'll come see you in a couple hours, ok?" Frank asked her. He kissed her cheek.

"Get some rest."

She nodded and closed the door behind him.

"Frank Hogan!"

"Charlotte! Why are you yelling?" They walked down the stairs to the kitchen.

"I don't understand what's going on. Why did you kiss that young woman's cheek?"

"Charlotte, you know me better than to think what you're thinking. She is my daughter."

"What?"

"Yes. Now, I'll be back later to check on her." He chuckled as he left, her eyes still wide at what he had told her.

THE RESTAURANT

Abigail finished cooking dinner, leaving the serving to her two helpers. She removed her apron and walked out of the kitchen to find Frank.

"Ready, dear?" she asked as she walked up to him.

"Yes." He nervously took her hand.

"Frank, your hands are sweaty. Are you nervous?"

"Yes." She stopped him on the sidewalk.

"Sweetheart, why are you nervous?"

"After what happened when I told you about her, I just…I want you to get along."

She looked at his concerned face. "I love you, Frank Hogan. I am positive that I will love her too, just because she's your daughter."

He kissed her gently and smiled. He hoped so.

He took her fingers in his again and they walked to the Avery House.

As they walked in, Theresa walked down the stairs.

"Good evening," she said pleasantly, a small smile on her lips.

"Evening, Theresa. Abigail, this is my daughter, Theresa. Theresa, this is my wife, Abigail."

Abigail smiled at her step-daughter. She could see that she had Frank's lips and height. Her eyes were mesmerizing. Light gray with a hint of blue. She was beautiful as he had said.

She stepped forward and hugged her, surprising Theresa.

"I'm so glad you are a part of our family, Theresa."

Much to Theresa's dismay, her tears that she had wanted to avoid, started up again. "Excuse me."

She walked into the kitchen, hoping to be alone, but Mr. And Mrs. Hunt were there along with a young girl.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. She wanted to escape but didn't know where to go.

"Ma'am?" The young girl put her hand on her arm. "Are you ok?"

"No, I…I need to go."

"Wait. Don't go. My name is Carrie Hogan. What's yours?"

"Theresa Landry. Are you Frank's daughter?"

"Yep. My Daddy is the pastor here." Now that Theresa looked closer, Carrie looked like both of her parents, but a lot like their father.

Abigail walked in to the room. "Theresa, I'm so sorry if I said something wrong."

"You didn't." She dried her tears and took a deep breath. "I'm having a hard time. I miss my mother so much."

"Can't you go visit her, Miss Landry?" Carrie asked.

"No, Carrie. She passed away."

Carrie ran forward and hugged her waist. "I'm so sorry your Mama died. That's horrible."

"Thank you, sweetie." She hugged her back, loving her sister already.

THE THORNTON RANCH

Nate had eaten with Maddie and her family. Now, they were on the porch for a few moments to say goodnight. Jack had agreed knowing that no kissing would be happening.

Nate looked out over the land and Maddie stood next to him, their arms barely touching. "Thanks for dinner," he said quietly.

"You're welcome. Nate, would it be ok if I hugged you?"

He turned and opened his arms and she walked right in. She sighed, her head resting on his shoulder.

Since their conversation, they had pretty much stopped touching except for the occasional time when he would grab her hand.

"You don't have to ask, Maddie."

"I missed this, Nate. I miss us, the way we used to be."

"I know, but we need to slow things down."

"I know. I understand why. It's just hard."

"It is." He stepped back and let go of her, pushing aside the incredibly strong urge to kiss her. "I should go. Goodnight, Maddie."

"Night." She felt empty again. She sat on the swing and watched the stars come out and then walked inside realizing she was freezing.

She headed over to the fireplace in the living room, holding her hands out to warm them.

"Hey, sweetie," her dad said from the couch. He and her Mom were just enjoying the fire too.

"Hi," she said with a smile. "Mom, can I talk to you?"

"Of course, baby. Come here." She held the blanket up so Maddie could slip under it.

Jack kissed Elizabeth's cheek. "Goodnight. I'll check on the kids."

"Goodnight, love."

"Night, Dad."

Maddie laid her head on her mom's shoulder. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know how to start."

"Is it about Nate?"

"Its always about him, it seems."

"Lets see. Your dad mentioned that you and Nate made some decisions about your relationship."

"Yeah. The day we met you and Dad at the pond. Nate felt that we are maybe going too fast and that we shouldn't show as much affection until we're closer to getting married."

"You said that Nate felt that way. Did you feel the same?"

"Not really. I mean, I agreed because I understood why and because I don't want us to go too far before marriage."

"But it's hard, isn't it?"

"So hard, Ma. I love him so much."

"I know you do."

"I miss him. He doesn't hold my hand as much, and he won't kiss me, except on the cheek. I feel like our relationship is changing."

"It is. He is limiting himself because if he doesn't, he might let things go too far. Maybe holding your hand makes him feel too close. It's very mature of him to speak with you and then follow through with it."

"How am I supposed to handle this?"

"Honestly, respect his limits. Maybe don't spend every afternoon with him. Just once a week. Spending all your time together will continue to make things more difficult."

Maddie didn't know if she could be away from him that much, but she had to try.

THE NEXT DAY, SCHOOL

Nate looked around for Maddie and finally found her talking to Em by the fallen tree in the schoolyard. "Ready to go, Maddie?"

"I can't study today."

"Oh. Ok. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Tomorrow." She watched him start to walk away, but stopped him. "Nate." She started to reach for his arm but stopped. "I think maybe we should just study once a week together."

"Why?"

"It'll be easier, I think."

"What do you mean?" She didn't answer right away, but thought about how to say what she felt. "You can tell me."

"This is hard. Being with you all the time is difficult when we can't be with each other like we used to. I miss you and I don't want to push you faster than you think we should go."

"I thought you agreed with the reasons." He stepped back, running his fingers through his hair.

"I did. I do. Nate, I just think we should be apart more."

"Fine. See you tomorrow." He looked at her and then walked away.

"Nate! Wait. Are you angry? I was just trying to be honest. Please don't be mad."

"Bye Maddie."

Em walked up. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure, but I think we just broke up."

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Maddie ran all the way home and up the stairs, flinging herself on the bed. By the time Em got to her, she was bawling her eyes out.

Elizabeth slowly climbed the stairs. She would have loved to go faster, but being really pregnant took her energy.

She walked into the girls room and looked at her girls. "What happened?" Em stayed silent, offering Maddie a chance to speak but she just kept crying. "She and Nate broke up."

"What? No! Maddie, what happened?"

She turned over and looked at her mother. "I told him that we need to not spend so much time together because it's so hard." Her words came in between sobs. "He walked away, Ma! I was just being honest and he left."

"Oh, sweetie. Maybe he just needs time to think."

She hoped that was true, but she couldn't get over the feeling that he didn't want to be bothered with her anymore.

An hour later, Jack opened the door when he heard a knock. "Mr. Thornton. May I please speak with Maddie?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. Her heart is broken."

"Why? I don't understand."

"She loved you Nate."

"I love her."

"Breaking up is a weird way to show it." Jack was losing patience. His daughter was upstairs with a broken heart and the cause of it, was standing there acting innocent.

"We didn't break up! Why does she think that?"

"You didn't?"

"Of course not. I was mad but we didn't break up. Please, sir. Can I just talk to her?"

"Jack, let him in. It's freezing outside and now it is in here," Elizabeth told him.

Jack stepped back and let him in. Elizabeth went and called for Maddie. "Maddie, come downstairs please!"

A few moments later, Maddie came down in her nightgown. "Yes, Ma?"

"You have a visitor. Jack, can you help me in the kitchen?"

Maddie wrapped her arms around herself and entered the living room. "Nate. Why are you here?"

"I needed to make sure you knew that I'm not mad. Now I'm confused. Why does everyone think we broke up?"

"We did, didn't we? That's what it felt like." He studied her closely. She looked lovely in her nightgown, but past that, her eyes were red and puffy, her nose matched. Her hair was hanging loosely around her neck and down her shoulders instead of in a braid.

"Maddie, I'm so sorry that I made you think we broke up. I wouldn't do that. I love you so much." He stepped forward and touched her hands.

"I love you too. This is so hard." She started crying again. He pulled her into his arms. "Are you sure?"

"That I love you? Yes. I've never been more sure." Six more months and he could propose. He just had to make it until then. He leaned down and kissed her cheek and then stepped back. "So, how often can we see each other, Maddie?"

"Once a week? I just don't want it to be harder than it already is."

"I don't know if I can do that, but if you think it will help, we'll try it."

She nodded. She looked in his eyes and then at his lips, willing him to just give in, but she wouldn't ask. She closed her eyes. "I think it's getting late."

Both of them knew it wasn't late, but she wanted him to do something he wouldn't do, so he had to go.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and started walking away and then came back and hugged her again.

"Nate." This time it was him that stared at her lips, remembering how soft they felt against his own. He needed one more kiss to get him through.

He leaned down and kissed her, slipping his arms behind her back, holding her close for just a moment. And then he was gone.

Maddie sat down on the couch and covered herself with a blanket, thinking of his kiss. It felt reluctant and yet it showed her how much she meant to him.

Elizabeth walked in. "Maddie? You ok?"

"Yes, Ma." She would be, but it would be a long eighteen months until she was sixteen.


	21. Chapter 21 - Children Are Blessings

Elizabeth was right about being ready soon. Almost a week later, her water broke as she was making breakfast. Everyone was talking at the table.

"Maddie!"

Maddie looked at her mother for a moment. "Ma?"

"My water broke. Can you get the doctor please?"

"Yes." She ran out the door, grabbing her coat at the last moment.

"Everyone? Listen up!" Everybody stopped talking. "Its time to go see Papa and Grandma. The baby is coming."

Em took everyone, leading the little ones in a chain, to the boarding house. Abbie cried as they went, not understanding what was going on. She just wanted Mama.

Jack helped her up the stairs and into a clean nightgown.

"Jack," she moaned, clutching his shoulder. "I need to push."

"What? How long have you been in labor?"

"A few hours." She panted as a contraction started, holding tight to his fingers. "Check me!"

He checked. "Ok, babe. Next pain, push." He grabbed a clean blanket off the rocking chair to be ready for this impatient child of theirs.

Ten minutes later, their daughter was born into her Daddy's hands. "It's a girl, Elizabeth."

"You were right," she said through her tears.

Maddie and the doctor walked in as he was drying her off. "Hey doc! Got clean scissors?"

The doc held the scissors he had over the flame in the fireplace for a moment and then cut the cord.

"Congratulations, Jack and Elizabeth. She sounds healthy. Let me have a look."

Jack handed her to the doctor and went to sit by Elizabeth.

He smiled and kissed her temple and then her lips for a moment. "Good job," he whispered.

Maddie brought her sister to her parents. "What's her name?"

Elizabeth looked at Jack. "Kylie Hope."

AN HOUR LATER

The doctor pronounced them both in good health so he went home, promising to come back in a few hours to check again.

Maddie went back to the boarding house to let everyone know about their new sister.

She walked in to find not only her family and grandparents, but also Nate. "Hi everyone." She walked over and stood next to Nate.

"How's the labor going?" Charlotte asked.

"All done. By the time the doctor and I arrived, Dad had already helped her deliver the baby."

"Oh! Is it a boy or girl?"

"Girl. Dad named her Kylie Hope."

"Another girl?" Will asked. "I wanted another brother."

Jake smiled. "Girls are the best, Will. You can't live without them." He winked at Charlotte. "At least, I can't." He snuggled Abbie closer.

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Jack stared at his daughter, propped up on his knees, sleeping peacefully.

Elizabeth smiled, leaning on his chest. "She has your lips, babe. Heart shaped and kissable." She tilted her head up and kissed him. "Perfect."

He touched Kylie's soft cheek and then her blonde curls. "She is beautiful, but I knew she would be. Look at her mother." He smiled and kissed her back.

She started making sucking noises so he handed her to Elizabeth to eat. Elizabeth settled her and then closed her eyes, putting her head against his shoulder.

An hour later, all the kids came pouring in the door downstairs. Jack picked Kylie up from her cradle and carried her carefully downstairs to introduce her to the kids.

"Daddy! I want to see her!" Carlie shouted.

"Carlie, Shhh. She's little and sleeping. Let's go sit down and everyone can see her if they want."

All the kids followed him into the living room. "Maddie, can you put another log on the fire please? It's important that she stays warm."

Maddie took care of the fire and then sat on an arm chair with Jay on her lap.

"Me Me? Bebe?" He pointed at Kylie.

"Yep, that's Baby Kylie. Let's go say hi."

"No, no bebe."

She kissed his forehead, holding him tight.

Abbie was watching her Daddy holding the baby. Apparently she was ok with it because she held Kylie's hand and kissed her cheek and then climbed up next to her Daddy on the couch.

Em made her way upstairs to see her mom. She peeked her head in the door.

"Mama?" she whispered.

"Yes, babe?" She moved herself in to a sitting position.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course." Em climbed up on her Dad's side of the bed and snuggled up to her mom. "Something bothering you?"

"No."

"Where is everyone?"

"Downstairs with Dad and the baby." She paused for a moment. "Evan kissed me Ma," she blurted.

"Oh yeah? When?"

"About a week ago." Elizabeth didn't know what to say. "I don't know what the big deal about kissing is, anyway. It's weird and mushy."

"Em," Elizabeth said with a laugh.

"Was your first kiss weird and mushy?"

"Well, no." It was perfect, she thought. "But I wasn't thirteen and your dad had kissed people before."

"Well now that I know what it's like, I'm not in a hurry to try again."

Elizabeth marveled at how different her oldest daughters were from each other. In this case, Maddie was finding it hard to wait for Nate, and Emmy was perfectly ok to wait because she wasn't ready for all that a relationship entailed.

THAT NIGHT, GIRLS ROOM

"Maddie, is there something wrong with me?"

"No, of course not. Why?"

"Evan kissed me. I didn't like it."

"What?! When?"

"Last week. We went fishing. He looked at me when I was talking to him and before I knew it, his lips were squished against mine."

"Em, I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"First of all, you kept your first kiss from me too. Second, that isn't my point. I didn't feel anything except the need to stop kissing him. I wanted my first kiss to be perfect."

"Well, maybe it will be better next time he kisses you."

"Are you kidding? I'm not letting him kiss me again."

"Ever?"

"No."

"Don't you like Evan?"

"He is more like my brother. I don't like him like a boyfriend."

"That's probably why you didn't enjoy the kiss."

"What's it like when Nate kisses you?"

"What do you mean? It's special. I love him and it's wonderful when he kisses me. It's like him telling me how he feels without words."

Em sighed. "Night Maddie."

"Night Em."

REGINA

Caleb watched Amy wash dishes, humming to herself. She seemed happy and he was grateful.

"Ames?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you almost done?"

She turned and looked at him. "You know, you could help me and it would go faster."

"I could. Would you like me to help?"

"Yes, Mr. Thornton, I would." She tossed the towel over her shoulder at him. "Wanna dry?"

He hopped up and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, making her giggle. "I'd rather do this." He kissed her ear, and behind her ear, and her earlobe, giving her goosebumps. Then he moved her dark, silky hair to the other side of her neck, making it easier to kiss the side he was on.

She turned and sighed. "I'm almost done, then why don't we sit by the fire?" He gently backed her up against the counter, kissing her and burying his fingers deep in her hair. "Wow, Caleb. What's gotten into you?"

"I missed you."

"I guess you did. Will you check on the twins for me?"

"Mmhmm. Then I'll meet you on the couch." He kissed her again and walked off, leaving her to try to concentrate on the task.

She hurried through it and then went into their bedroom. Mason and Meri were both in his arms, smiling up at him and babbling. The babies, at eight months could sit up on their own for a bit and get up on their hands and knees. They also started saying "Mamama" when she walked in the room. It melted her heart when they said it for the first time.

She went to the dresser pulling out her newest creation, a lovely baby blue cotton nightgown with lace edging. It was shorter than usual, about three inches shorter, but he would like it. She walked into the hallway and down to the bathroom to change and then to the couch to wait.

Caleb didn't want to leave his kids but he wanted to be with Amy. The last three months of training had been extremely difficult on his heart. It hurt that he missed milestones such as their first words and starting to crawl. They were his babies, but he only saw them once a week. It didn't seem right, even though he knew it was necessary.

"Dadada," Mason said quietly. Caleb almost didn't realize he had said it.

"Did you say dada?" Mason smiled and gave him an open mouthed smooch on his chin.

Caleb immediately began to cry, realizing how much he loved his family with such a simple thing.

"Oh I love you so much." He kissed them both on their soft heads. "I'm sorry that I'm gone all the time. I wish there was an easier way."

Amy walked back in to see what was holding him up. "Sweetie?" She saw his tears. "Caleb, what is it?"

"He said Dada. To me, he said it. I didn't miss it."

"Dada," Mason said louder, bouncing in Caleb's arms.

Caleb noticed his wife's nightgown. "Wow, Ames. You look amazing in that." The hem hit her about mid-thigh, showcasing her beautiful legs.

"Mama!" Meri said as she walked by. "Mama."

"Hi, big girl." She picked her up, propping her on her hip. She started tugging on the top of Amy's nightgown. "You hungry? If I feed you, will you go to sleep so I can spend time with Daddy?"

Amy sat on the bed, against the headboard and fed Meri. "Honey, can you bring me Mason?"

"Sure." He took him over and then decided to get ready for bed himself.

Within ten minutes, the babies were out and Amy met Caleb on the couch. She sat down next to him, not even a centimeter separating them. He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hey." She touched his cheek where the stain from a stray tear was. "You ok?"

"Yes. When he said it, I just realized how much I'm missing by being away and I was so grateful I heard him say it." She nodded. She had wondered how he had been feeling. He usually paid attention and was concerned about how she was more than himself.

"I love you, babe."

"I love you, Ames."

She stood up. "I'll be right back." She walked out a moment later with something in her hand. "This is for you."

"A journal?"

"Yeah. I think that since it has helped me so much, you should try it too. Just write in it whenever you miss us, or have something on your mind."

"Thank you." He grabbed a pencil from the table and started writing.

She nudged him with her foot, since he was now sitting on the other end of the couch. "I didn't mean right now."

"Well, I have something I want to say so I figured I should write it down." She watched him, his eyes reflecting the fire burning a few feet away.

When he finished, he shut the book and handed it to her.

She opened to the first page.

TONIGHT I REALIZED AGAIN JUST HOW PRECIOUS TO ME MY WIFE AND CHILDREN ARE. HEARING MY SON SAY "DADA" WARMED MY HEART AND AT THE SAME TIME, BROKE IT, KNOWING I COULD HAVE MISSED IT.

NOW, MY WIFE SITS NEXT TO ME, LOOKING INCREDIBLE, AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS…TELL HER THAT WE ARE GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY LOVE

"Caleb! Are you serious? We have three weeks?"

"Yes, Swift told all of us that he was feeling generous and decided we can have an extra week."

"That's wonderful. When do we leave?"

"A week from today. So when I get off next Saturday, instead of coming home, I will meet you at the depot."

"Oh! I have so much to do. I need to make a list and…" She trailed off as she stood and started to walk away.

"Ames! Tomorrow we can make a list." He grabbed her hand and pulled her down on his lap. His hand played with the short hem of her nightgown which had become much shorter. "Tonight, we have other things to do."

HARRIS TOWN, THE AVERY HOUSE

Theresa sighed as she sat on her bed. She had been so busy in the kitchen. Abigail had graciously offered her a job as cook at the restaurant and she took it out of necessity and want. She loved to cook and needed something to keep her busy. She had always wished for her own home and a husband and children to cook for, but since that hadn't happened, she would take advantage of what she did have.

The thing she really appreciated was that she was so busy, that sadness didn't enter into the picture until she was alone in bed, and then, she was so tired, she fell asleep without shedding a tear most nights.

Theresa fingered the ring that hung around her neck. "Love you, Mama. I'm trying to make you proud." She kissed it and then fell asleep.

THE THORNTON HOME

Jack took fussy Kylie downstairs so she wouldn't keep everyone awake. Kylie was a crier. She was not easy like Jay or Abbie had been. It seemed, if Elizabeth, or whoever was holding her, kept moving, she was fine. Put her down or stop walking and the whimpering and crying began.

Jack kept walking and then decided to sing to her, to see if that would help.

Maddie walked into the kitchen but just watched and listened for a moment. Her dad was walking around the kitchen with his tiny little girl in one arm, singing. What a good father.

"Hi, Daddy," she said quietly.

"Hi, Bug." She walked up and hugged them.

"I love you," she told him. "You are the best father."

"Thanks babe." He kissed her cheek and smiled. "That's very sweet of you to say."

"Its true. For example. Why are you down here with Kylie?"

"She's fussy and I didn't want her to bother anyone else."

"Exactly. Not a lot of fathers would even spend the time. They would let their wives take care of the baby."

"Well, maybe, but that's not me."

"That's my point. We are so lucky to have you as our dad." He smiled, his eyes filling with tears.

"I'm the lucky one." He truly felt that. His heart was filled with love for his family.

She looked up when she heard a cry from upstairs. "Why is Jay awake?" She ran upstairs to the boys room.

"Me Me! Hold Jay!" He cried holding his arms up, impatient for her to hold him.

"Shhh. What's wrong?"

"Bad! Me Me, hold Jay!"

She figured he must have had a bad dream. She picked him up and took him downstairs to the living room. She sat on the couch and cradled him, running her fingers through his light brown hair. He had tears on his warm pink cheeks.

She didn't know if his newly four year old brain could explain his dream, so she just comforted him as best she could.

Jack sat down next to them. "You know, you'll be a great mother one day."

"I hope so. I would love to be a Mama."

"You've gotten a lot of practice with this one."

"Yeah. I can't imagine loving a child more." She looked down at him and smiled. He was sleeping again, his hand on her chest. "I'm going to try to put him down and go to bed. See you in the morning." She kissed his cheek and walked away.

Jay would not let her put him down, so she took him to bed with her and laid him between her and Emmy. He whimpered a minute, but stopped when she wrapped her arm across his stomach. "Love you Jay."

"Mama!" Jay yelled a few minutes later.

"Shhh. Jay. Mama is sleeping."

"No! Mama go," he cried. "Want Mama stay!"

"Buddy, Mama isn't going anywhere. She's just sleeping."

Maddie picked him up and left the room. As she got to her parents door, Jack came out. "He must be having bad dreams."

"Dada! Mama no go!"

Jack took him and held him. "Jay, Mama is not going anywhere."

"Want Mama, pease?"

"Thanks, Maddie." Jack took him in their room and shut the door. "See, Mama is sleeping."

Elizabeth opened her eyes. "I'm awake."

"Mama!" Jay ran over and climbed up on the bed. "Mama, me seep and Mama go. No go Mama. Stay."

"Did you dream that I left you?"

"Ya Mama. Love you." He wrapped his arms around her neck and held on.

"I love you too, Jay."

"Moon back, Mama?"

"Yes, to the moon and back."

Everyone was grumpy when they got up the next morning. Jay was grumpy because he didn't sleep much and he caused everyone else not to sleep either.

Maddie yawned as she got ready for church. She really just wanted to go to bed but she wanted to see Nate worse.

"Em, you going with me?" Maddie laughed as she heard a groan from the bed.

"Ok, but I need your help with breakfast before I go." She uncovered her sister and pulled her out of bed. "Up please. I'm taking Abbie."

"Ok." Em picked up Abbie from her crib. "Hi, Abbie. Hungry?"

"Ya. Mama eat." Abbie put her head on Em's shoulder and sighed. Em changed her diaper and then took her downstairs to the kitchen. "Mama?"

"How about eggs?" Em didn't want to bother their mother. Em watched her sister start to cry. "Wanna help me cook?"

"No, Mama!"

Maddie walked in as Em picked up Abbie to calm her down. "Mama is sleeping Abbie. We need to be quiet."

"I can take her, Em, if you want to make breakfast," Jack offered when he walked in the room.

"Dada! Mama?" Abbie whined, her arms out for him to take her.

"Hi, baby. You want Mama?"

"Ya, Mama eat."

"Ok, sweetie. Let's go see her."

Elizabeth was feeding Kylie when they walked in. "Mama!"

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Eat," she said as she watched Kylie doing what she was wanting to do. She sat on Elizabeth's leg and watched patiently.

"You are such a good girl, Abbie. Mama loves you so much."

Jay finally woke up but was not patient. "Mama, eggs pease."

"Hi, Jay. Me Me made you eggs downstairs."

"No, Mama make eggs."

"I'm feeding your sisters right now. Why don't you go with Daddy. He can take you downstairs."

"No!" He crossed his little arms and pouted.

"Jay, you need to listen."

"No!" Jack walked over and picked him up.

"Jay, you are going to sit right here. You need to listen to Mama when she tells you something and you don't tell her no."

"No! Want Mama." Jack put him in the rocking chair and left him there. Jay proceeded to get up at least ten times, yelling each time, finally breaking down in tears when Daddy kept putting him back in the chair.

After two minutes of him finally staying in the chair quietly, Jack made him apologize for telling her no and not listening.

"Sorry Mama. I listen. I say yes."

He gave her a hug and kissed her cheek. "Dada, eggs pease." He looked so pitiful with tears running down his cheeks and a little red nose.

"Ok, bud. Let's get eggs."

Needless to say, Maddie was the only one who attended church that day, riding with Nate and his family.


	22. Chapter 22 - Home

****One of my readers asked for a list of how old the kids are. These are estimates. Caleb is just turning eighteen at this chapter and Amy just turned nineteen. Their twins are eight months.

Maddie is fourteen and a half, making Em thirteen. Will and Drew are around eleven, I think. Carlie would be eight, making Jay four, Abbie two and Kylie one month old.

Elizabeth would be thirty six or thirty seven and for the purpose of the story, I estimate Jack to be about forty. ****

REGINA

Amy was all packed for their trip home. Rob came over with a wagon to take them to the depot. Lily was there too to help with the babies.

Five minutes later, they arrived at the depot. Rob came over and helped her down, gently setting her and Mason on the ground and then moved around back to help Lily and Meri.

"Thank you so much, Rob. I really appreciate your help."

"You are most welcome, Amy. I hope you have a wonderful trip."

"It will be. We miss our family so much."

"Dad, I'm going to stay with Amy until Caleb gets here. I don't want to leave her alone," Lily offered.

"Ok, sweetie." He kissed Lily's cheek and drove off.

They waited and waited and the longer they waited, the more worried Amy became that Caleb wouldn't come.

The train pulled in to its place, grinding its wheels and chugging to a stop. Amy watched nervously as people got off the train and the porters unloaded the suitcases and trunks. Then her heart jumped as the conductor yelled "All Aboard!"

Finally she looked over her shoulder and saw her man in uniform. "Caleb! We need to go!"

Caleb took Meri from Lily and kissed her cheek. "Thank's Lily."

He walked, grabbed Amy's hand, and they walked quickly over to their private car. "I was worried you wouldn't make it," she told him as they closed their door and sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry I worried you. Swift was making us sweat until the last possible second and then he finally let us go." She shook her head and smiled.

"Now I have you all to myself for three weeks. Whatever will we do?"

"You may have to share me a little bit."

"Only because I have to. For the most part, you are all mine, Caleb."

"Mmmm. I like the sound of that." He kissed her and then smiled.

"Tell me about your week, Caleb."

HARRIS TOWN, SCHOOL

Maddie looked down as Nate grabbed her fingers. She looked up at him, wondering.

He smiled, just enough to let her know he was thinking of her, and then let go of her hand.

She had learned from the last couple of weeks that just a touch of his hand or a look would go miles in making her feel loved.

She took a pencil and wrote on his paper, "Love you."

He took her pencil and wrote, "Love you back."

At recess, they stayed inside with everyone else because it was so cold and snow was coming.

"Nate, what does your family do for Christmas? Do you do dinner Christmas Eve?"

"No, we just do family dinner on Christmas. What about you?"

"Well, since Caleb and Amy are coming, we will do a Christmas Eve dinner and then Kevin and Maggie will do Christmas dinner. Do you want to come for Christmas Eve?"

"Sure. I would love to."

"Good." She nodded and then kissed his cheek, walking away to go find Em.

Em was sitting next to Carlie trying to teach her how to do fractions. Maddie listened and was very impressed by how patient Em was.

"I don't get it, Em!" Carlie said, frustrated.

"Hey, it's ok, Car. Fractions are hard. We just have to try again." She put her arm around her little sister's shoulder and tried to explain it again.

Finally, after the whole recess, Carlie got it. "Yay, thank you, Em!" Carlie hugged her and Em loved it. She felt like she had accomplished something. She felt useful, and that was a wonderful feeling.

THAT NIGHT, GIRLS ROOM

"Em? I saw what you did for Carlie today. I'm impressed. You were so patient," Maddie told her.

"Thank you. I came to a conclusion today."

"What's that?"

"I want to be a teacher, like Mama."

"I'm glad. I think you will be good at it. You are already a good student and you are so patient with other kids."

"I'm trying really hard to be. I want to be useful at something and the way I felt after helping Carlie…it was great. It made me happy.

FRIDAY NIGHT, TRAIN

"Good grief. A week on a train feels like a month," Amy muttered.

Caleb agreed, but he was so grateful for more time with his family, he didn't let it bother him.

Amy had just put the kids to sleep and came out to see Caleb. "I didn't mean to complain. Sorry, sweetie."

"It's ok. I agree, it seems like its forever. Good thing is, tomorrow we will be home."

"We are staying with your family, right?" she asked him.

"Yes. Is that still ok?"

"Of course. I miss them and I can't wait to see your new little sister."

"Me either. Kylie Hope. Good name, I think."

"It is." She sighed and snuggled closer, thinking of the new little Thornton growing inside of her at that moment. She was going to tell him Christmas morning. For now, she was keeping it hidden and was grateful she had only a touch of morning sickness and weirdly grateful that Caleb had been away for most of it so he was unaware.

She had known for about a month and at first, was completely overwhelmed thinking of juggling the baby and the twins. Now, she wanted it so badly and she couldn't wait for his reaction.

Patty had assured her that she wouldn't tell anyone and she gave her pointers on how to handle children so close in age with a husband that was gone a lot. Thank goodness for Patty!

"What are you thinking about?" he said, watching her smile as she drifted to sleep.

"Nothing." She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arm over his stomach, loving that he was with her.

"Must be something good."

"It is. No hints."

That made him curious, but he would be patient and wait until she told him. It was probably about his Christmas present.

THE NEXT DAY, HARRIS TOWN

Kevin and Jack met Amy and Caleb and the babies at the depot with a wagon.

The snow had started falling early in the morning, and now was coming down quite hard. Jack had grabbed a few extra blankets and pillows to sit on to make things as comfortable as possible.

The train pulled up as Kevin and Jack pulled in to the depot. Kevin jumped down and Jack slid off the back of the wagon, anxious to see them.

They waited patiently and then walked up as they saw the private car. "Caleb!" Jack yelled, as he saw his son emerge, a baby in his arms.

"Hey Dad!" Caleb walked right into his father's arms. "I missed you."

Kevin went to help Amy down the walk, taking Meri from her. "Hi, sweetie. Wow, you look just like your Mama."

About twenty minutes later, everyone was in the wagon, Jack and Amy and the twins huddled under blankets in the back.

Jack watched Amy closely, noticing she was pale and closing her eyes as they went over bumps. "Doing ok?"

"I'm good," she said with a smile. Jack could tell she wasn't feeling the best, but he wouldn't push it. If there was anything wrong, she would tell them. He suspected something wonderful.

Amy forced the smile on her face. The typical morning nausea was present, but not horrible. Of course she had to have a very observant, former Mountie for a father-in-law. She could tell he was concerned but the secret was to stay hidden for three more days. That was it. She could do it.

When they made it to the ranch, Jack moved to the end of the wagon and then helped Amy down.

"Dad, don't say anything. I'm doing ok." She kissed his cheek and he smiled.

"Deal."

Caleb carried their trunk and bags in with Kevin's help. "Thanks, Kevin. I think I'll send Amy over to see you and Maggie after the kids eat. She misses you all so much."

"Thanks, son. I'll see you soon." He patted Caleb's arm and then walked out.

Elizabeth walked in unaware who had arrived. "Caleb?" She started crying and walked over to him. "Oh, love. I missed you so much!"

Caleb wrapped his arms around his mom and held on. He couldn't speak right then, so he just held her. After a few moments, he stepped back and smiled. "I missed you, Ma. The first day at The Academy, I wanted to run right back home to you."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't, babe. I'm so, so proud of you. You look strong and healthy and happy." She hugged him again. "I'm glad you're home for Christmas."

"Me too." He wasn't going to tell her how close it had been to not happening.

She wiped her tears and went to kiss her daughter-in-law and grandbabies.

Then a cry came from upstairs.

"That would be your sister. She needs to eat."

"I'll come with you, Mom," Amy offered. "Mason and Meri need to eat too."

Amy and Elizabeth sat on the bed, feeding their babies. "Its hard to believe the twins were ever that tiny," Amy said as she watched Kylie eat.

"I know. Babies grow so fast. I can't believe they are eight months already."

"Me either."

"Amy, how is everything?"

"Good. Hard when we only see him once a week, but good."

Elizabeth nodded. "I can imagine."

"Mom, how did you do it? With Dad in such a dangerous job?"

"Honestly, we were lucky. Hope Valley was not that dangerous and he didn't go away all that much. Of course, when he went away, I worried constantly."

"He hasn't even started the job part yet and I'm worried."

"Everything will work out. Just support each other and be patient." Amy nodded.

Mason sat up. "Mama," he grinned, a few teeth showing.

"Hi, Mase. How's my big boy?" She scooped him up and he grabbed on, hugging her.

Elizabeth put Kylie on her shoulder to burp her. "In a minute, let's swap. I want to hold him."

"Sure."

A while later, Caleb knocked on the door. "Ma?"

"Come in Caleb."

He walked over to his wife and took his little sister. "Babe, I'll watch the kids if you want to go see your parents." He put his tiny sister close to his neck, kissing her forehead. "Ma, she is so little."

"She is, a bit smaller than most of my babies. I was grateful for that, actually. She came so fast. I think I was in labor for two hours before my water broke and then I barely got upstairs and I was ready to push."

Amy watched her husband cuddling Kylie. She couldn't wait to tell him her secret.

She stood up, walking over to the window.

"I'm thinking I shouldn't go to my parents. It's snowing awfully hard."

Caleb walked over to the window. "Maybe you're right."

"It would have been nice, but I kind of like the idea of being snowed in," She winked, slipping her arm around him.

He would have kissed her then, but his mom was in the room, but he definitely thought about it.

He stood staring at her, and then decided to go for it. He bent down and kissed her. "Love you," he whispered.

He looked over and chuckled. His mom had both twins sitting on the bed staring at her. She was trying teaching them how to clap their little chubby hands together, but they just wanted to crawl back over to her.

Since she wasn't paying attention to him and Amy, he took advantage of the moment and kissed her again.

"Sorry to interrupt," Elizabeth began, "before I forget, you can use the crib that's in the boys room. Jay can sleep with Will or Drew.

"Thanks, Ma."

TWO NIGHTS LATER, CHRISTMAS EVE

Maddie looked one last time in the mirror and then went downstairs to help with dinner. Dinner was a large ham, two turkeys, potatoes, rolls, green beans, and stuffing. For dessert, Maddie had made two apple pies, one pumpkin, and one blackberry.

She was washing bowls and setting the table when Nate walked in. "Hey," he said over the noise in the other room.

She looked up and smiled. "Wow, you look really nice, Nate." His dark gray suit and tie brought out his blue eyes nicely.

He walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "You look beautiful." She had made the navy blue dress she was wearing all by herself.

"Thank you." She stared at his lips for a moment, hoping a visit to the mistletoe later could be arranged, after all it was tradition.

He took the candle from her hand, setting it on the table. Then he opened his arms for a hug, which she happily gave him. "Since I won't be here in the morning, I have a gift for you."

"You didn't need to get me anything, Nate. Having you here is a wonderful gift."

"Its Christmas. Of course I got you something." He left the room for a moment and then walked in with a package.

She smiled and then untied the ribbon that was keeping the package closed. She gasped quietly when she saw his gift. "A shawl? It's so pretty." She lifted the very soft, intricately crocheted, navy blue shawl from the package. He placed it around her shoulders, moving her dark curls with his hand.

"You like it? It looks perfect on you," he told her.

She hugged him again and then kissed his cheek. "I do. It's wonderful. Thank you."

The moment was broken when Jay wandered in asking about food.

"Not long, buddy," she told him.

"Jay hungry, Me Me!"

"I know, me too. Here, have a few crackers."

"Tank you." He smiled up at her and ran off.

Next, Amy wandered in, putting the twins in their chairs. Then one after one, the whole family walked in, including Charlotte and Jake.

Amy caught Nate's eye a few times, giving him a smile. She put her shawl on the back of her chair and tied an apron around her waist so she could help serve.

Before the blessing, Jack stood up, grasping Elizabeth's hand. "Everyone, I just want to say how grateful I am," he paused when he felt Elizabeth squeeze his hand. "How grateful we are, that our family is all together tonight. Over the years, our family has grown and changed and it will continue to do so, as you all get married and have families of your own. One thing will always stay the same, though, and that is how much we all love each other."

Maddie found Nate's hand under the table and squeezed. He looked at her, smiled, and squeezed back.

Amy looked around, considering herself extremely lucky to be a part of such an amazing family. She couldn't ask for anything more.

After dinner, Nate insisted on helping Maddie clean up. "I want to help," he told her.

She washed as he dried and helped put leftovers away, carving the last of the meat into smaller bowls.

At one point, he walked up beside her, placing his hand on her lower back.

"Maddie?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to go soon, but I wanted to say goodnight since we seem to be alone at the moment."

"Ok, thank you for my shawl and for helping me clean up. I really appreciate it."

He nodded and kissed her temple. "Thank you for inviting me." She dried her hands and put the towel on the counter.

"Goodnight Maddie." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, briefly, but then he must have lost his mind because he kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her. She was surprised, pleasantly, by the second kiss. She slipped her arms under his suit coat, making him jump back.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She hadn't meant to do that, it was just where her arms went.

"You didn't." The truth was, he needed to get away. He should have stuck with his plan to kiss her cheek. "Goodnight."

She watched him walk away.

"Hey," Caleb said, walking in the room. "Was that Nate I saw just now?"

Maddie's cheeks burned as she started to walk out.

"Yeah. Goodnight, Caleb."

"Wait, everything ok?"

"Sure." She didn't even convince herself with that statement.

"You can tell me. I'm a good listener."

"No, I can't, Caleb. Thank you though."

She hugged him quickly and then left the room.

Nate slowly walked home, thinking about how in the world they would get through the next year and a half. As much as he had enjoyed kissing her, he kicked himself for doing it. Things had been going fine and now, all he could think about was doing it again.

He walked in the house quietly, in case the kids were asleep.

"Hey, bud," Brandon said from the couch.

"Hey, Dad. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Brandon put his book down and looked at his son. "Did you have a nice time tonight?"

"Yeah."

"What's on your mind?"

"Maybe I was wrong. I think I'll go to bed." All of the sudden, he felt uncomfortable.

"Hang on. Is it about Maddie? I can get your mom."

"No, it's about me."

"What about you?"

"I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated." Brandon sat silently and waited. He didn't want to push. "I love her, Dad."

"I know you do."

"I need to marry her and I don't know how we will make it a year and a half."

Brandon didn't want to jump to conclusions but what he heard his fifteen year old saying was concerning him. "Did something happen?"

"No, I wouldn't let anything hurt her, including myself. She means too much to me."

"I'm proud of you, Nate. What you just said is so mature. Some grown men don't even think that way."

"Yeah, well is it mature to second guess that decision every time I catch a glimpse of her? Or to just want to throw everything I promised her out the window to kiss her? Dad, I don't trust myself."

"Its definitely normal to have those feelings."

"How do I stop them? We can't get married now. I tried not holding her hand and only kissing her cheek, but it's seriously killing me."

"Nate, listen to me. I understand how you are feeling. I remember feeling that way about your mom. We were about the same age as you are now. Her parents were very strict and wouldn't let us see each other very often or go anywhere without a chaperone. Now, when I look back, I see the wisdom in setting boundaries."

"I set those boundaries. I told her that we should slow down and that kissing her on the cheek was all I could handle."

"She agreed?"

"Yes."

"Does she feel the same way you do?"

"She agreed, so I assume that she does."

"I'm going to give you some advice, Nate."

"Yes, please."

"Talk to her. Ask her how she feels about the boundaries. Remember that your relationship involves both of you. The worst thing you can do is make assumptions."


	23. Chapter 23 - Trust

Nate didn't sleep that night. Her kept going over the whole situation in his head, especially the part where Maddie apologized for making him uncomfortable. That made him feel so incredibly guilty. He had to see her, but he didn't want to interrupt their family on Christmas morning. So, he would wait.

EARLY CHRISTMAS MORNING, GUEST ROOM

Amy rolled over and gazed at her adorable husband, sleeping sound. She touched his cheek, feeling slightly rough because of the stubble that had grown overnight. Next she let her thumb graze his bottom lip that looked so kissable. She moved her body closer, slipping her arm over his stomach.

He sighed and pulled her closer, still asleep.

"Caleb," she whispered.

"Hm?" He opened his eyes and blinked a few times to focus. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Merry Christmas, babe."

"Merry Christmas, Ames." He kissed her forehead and slipped back into his slumber.

She pulled gently away and went to get a present for him. She checked on the babies. They were still out so she took her package to the bed.

"Ames?" He opened his eyes again. "Its so early."

"I know and we can sleep more in a minute, but I want you to open your gift first."

He looked at her and smiled. "Ok." He sat up and yawned. She chuckled, running her fingers through his messy hair.

"You're so cute, Caleb." She put his package on his lap. "Now open."

He untied the string and unwrapped the paper. "Ames, I don't think these are going to fit the twins, let alone me." He held up the tiny white booties she had crocheted.

"Yes, but they will be perfect for someone else."

"Yeah, Kylie could wear them, but why are you giving them to me?" He looked utterly confused and exhausted.

"Caleb, I'm trying to tell you something. Concentrate for a moment. Why would I give these to you?"

He frowned, rubbed his eyes, and then stopped. "Are you…we are having…are you sure?" She nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm pregnant, sweetie. About two months."

"You are? Wow. That's the best Christmas present ever!"

DOWN THE HALL, JACK AND ELIZABETH'S ROOM

"Is someone yelling?" Elizabeth asked, half asleep.

"Just Caleb," Jack muttered into her hair.

"Doesn't he know how early it is?"

"Amy is pregnant. My guess is she just told him."

"What? How do you know?" She flipped over and looked at him.

"I'm observant. I used to be a Mountie."

"Well, O wise one, why didn't you tell me?" She poked his rib, making him laugh.

"She told me not to tell. She didn't want anyone to find out before Caleb."

"Not even me? I can keep a secret." He looked at her like she had sprouted a second head. "I can!"

"Shhh. Don't you know how early it is?"

"Shush Mr. Thornton." He laughed and snuggled up to her.

THE GIRLS ROOM

"Why is everyone yelling? It's so early," Em said, covering her head with her pillow.

"I don't know. Go back to sleep," Maddie responded.

"Me up!" Abbie said from her crib.

Maddie sighed and forced herself to get up. "Hi, Ab! Let's change you and then go make breakfast."

"Eggs! Pease?"

"You want eggs? You got it." She kissed her loudly, making her giggle.

After a few moments, Carlie came over and joined Em in bed. "Carlie?"

"I'm cold. Can't we just snuggle for a few minutes?"

"Sure." Em opened her arms and hugged her sister.

"Em? Thank you for helping me with fractions the other day."

"You're welcome."

"I love you, Em."

"To the moon and back, Car."

THE KITCHEN

Maddie took the ham and turkey from the night before, along with the potatoes and cooked them together with onion. Then in a separate pan she cooked about a dozen eggs and cheese.

Jay wandered in. "Me Me. I hungry."

"Hey, buddy." She picked him up and kissed him and then held him for a few moments while stirring the food.

She set him on the counter so he could watch her cook. They had leftover biscuits, enough for everyone in the house, so she warmed them, too.

The twins, Will and Drew walked in. "That smells good, Maddie," Drew told her.

"We are going to go milk the cows and get the eggs. We'll be back soon."

"Ok, Thank you."

Jack made it to the kitchen next. "Hi, everyone. I am going to head to the barn."

He kissed Abby, then Jay, and then Maddie. "Hi, bug."

"Hi, Dad. Love you."

About twenty minutes later, the boys and Jack arrived from the barn with milk, eggs, and what looked like a bed.

Everyone was in the kitchen ready to eat so they joined them and had a great family breakfast.

Christmas over the years in the Thornton home, became less about presents and more about showing love and being together. They still had gifts, but not always.

"Jay, I have a present for you," Jack said.

"Pwesent? Me?"

"Yeah, let's go see what it is." Jack helped him off his chair and went to the living room. Everyone else followed, curious.

"Big boy bed? Yay! Jay no baby."

"That's right. You are my big boy, Jay."

"Tank you Daddy!" He ran over and hugged him, flinging his four year old arms around his knees. "Love you."

"Love you too, buddy."

Nate couldn't wait any longer. He and Maddie needed to have a serious talk and he wanted to make sure she knew he wasn't blaming her for anything. He walked to the Thornton ranch, maybe a bit slowly, but he was planning what he wanted to say.

When he stepped on their porch, he heard laughter and happiness. That was a wonderful sound. He knocked and then smiled when Carlie opened the door. "Hi, Nate!"

"Hi, Carlie."

"Wanna see Bug?"

"Yeah, can I come in?"

She opened the door and then ran to the living room. "Bug, Nate's here."

Maddie looked up as he walked in. She couldn't tell if he was happy or upset.

Everyone stopped talking as he stepped in the room. "Hi, Nate," Elizabeth greeted him.

"Hi, Mrs. Thornton. Merry Christmas, everyone."

Jay ran up to him. "Daddy make Jay big boy bed! Me not baby."

Nate smiled and picked him up. "That's great Jay."

"Come see!" Jay wiggled to be put down and then attempted to drag Nate away.

"I promise I'll come see it later, ok buddy? I need to talk to Maddie." He looked at her, still not giving away his feelings.

Maddie stood up and followed Nate into the kitchen. She didn't know what to say or do, so she stood by the sink and folded her arms so she wouldn't be tempted to touch him.

"Maddie, I need to talk to you." She nodded. He touched her arm, and then grabbed her hand, leading her to the table to sit next to him. "Yesterday…"

"I'm so sorry, Nate," she said interrupting him.

"I'm sorry. I never want you to think you have to apologize for wanting to be close. I shouldn't have walked away without explaining." She went to grab his hand, but stopped herself. He saw her hesitation and offered his palm to her.

"Please." She slipped her fingers inside his hand and sighed. "I think we need to agree on what boundaries we need to set for ourselves."

"I thought we did," she said quietly.

"Actually, I told you what we should do, instead of making sure you and I are on the same page. That wasn't fair of me to assume you felt the same way I do." He paused, knowing the sensitive subject might be hard to talk about. "For instance, I told you we should only kiss on the cheek, but I should have asked you if you thought that was ok. I, personally, find it hard to be around you without wanting to kiss you." Her cheeks turned pink. "Do you feel that way?"

"Yes, I do."

"Like yesterday, I kissed you, but I could feel myself getting carried away. I don't ever want you to feel like I'm pushing you or taking advantage."

"I don't feel that way, Nate. I trust you."

"I don't trust myself, Maddie. That's why I want to have this conversation."

She was clueless as to what to say. She didn't have an answer. "What can we do?"

"The only thing I can think of is to make sure we aren't alone." She nodded.

"Please let me know what you think." He squeezed her hand to prompt her.

"Why does this have to be so hard?" He saw her eyes fill with tears and it killed him.

"I think we moved faster than we should have, and now, we know we can't go back."

"Do you think we should take some time apart?" A tear escaped her eye as she said it. That wasn't what she wanted. Why couldn't they just go forward in time and get married?

"No, is that what you want?"

"Of course not."

"Maddie, look at me." Her eyes met his. "I love you so much. I don't want you to be upset. I need to know what you think."

"I agree. We need to have someone with us."

"Are you agreeing because we don't have any other ideas?"

"Maybe, I don't know."

"Be honest, do you feel the same way I do when we kiss? Like things are getting carried away?" She looked at their hands.

"Honestly, no. I've never felt out of control. I've enjoyed every kiss and hug because it's like your heart is speaking to mine."

They talked for another hour and decided it would be best to always be with someone else. Nate also put a restriction on himself, to stay strong and not give in to his feelings. He wanted to be accountable for himself. He wanted to be someone she respected.

REGINA

Over the next few months, Caleb and Amy fell back in the same routine they had been in. He would leave for a week and come back for a night.

Mason started walking, while Meri was content to crawl or be carried.

Amy relished her easy pregnancy and spent a lot of time making baby clothes and blankets for their newest that was due in August.

Lily came to visit every day, sometimes bringing Davie and sometimes not. Amy was so grateful for her help.

"Lil?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"In August when the baby comes, would you be willing to live with us, as a mother's helper? You can go home when Caleb comes home."

"I would love to! I will talk to my parents tonight."

"Thank you, that really helps me not be so overwhelmed." Lily hugged her.

"I'm glad."

APRIL, HARRIS TOWN

Nate was nervous. He was headed to speak with Jack at the ranch. He wanted to ask for Maddie's hand and get his blessing on their engagement that would be coming up in May.

He had stayed up all night the previous night, planning what he was going to say, and now he couldn't remember a word of it. His palms were sweaty, but he felt cold. His heart was racing and he was pretty sure any little thing would make him pass out.

He knocked on their front door and jumped when it opened. "Hi, Car. Is your Dad around?"

"Yep! He's in the barn grooming the horses."

"Ok, thank you."

Nate walked out to the barn and opened the door. "Mr. Thornton?" he called.

"In here," Jack called from the farthest stall.

Nate wandered over. Jack looked over his shoulder. "Hi, Nate."

"Sir." Nate stayed silent for a moment just watching him groom the black horse, Storm. Then he found his voice. "May I speak with you a moment?"

Jack looked at him now. The boy looked like he might faint. "Maybe we should sit." Jack gestured to the wagon. Nate nodded and dried his sweaty palms on his pants. "What did you want to talk about?"

Nate hesitated and then started talking. "Sir, I know you didn't like me at first, when Maddie and I started liking each other, but I think we are in a good place now."

"First, if I may, I've always liked you. At thirteen, I was not ready for my daughter to like a boy, even someone I've known for years."

"That's fair. Well, now, as you know, Maddie and I love each other."

"Yes, I can see how she feels about you."

"I feel the same about her, sir. Next month I would like to propose, on her birthday." Jack dropped the brush he was holding. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm asking for Maddie's hand and for your blessing."

Jack knew this was coming eventually. Maddie had told him she wanted to marry at sixteen and he had said she should. Now, seeing Nate, the young man she loved, sitting there, asking for her hand, he didn't want to let her go.

Nate didn't know what to think of Jack's silence. He couldn't read his face. He started to worry.

"Nate, what are your plans?"

"Plans, sir?"

"Maddie mentioned running your dad's ranch?"

"Oh, yes. I graduate in June and in September I will be headed to college in Calgary. There's a business school. I will be taking a year of courses to teach me about running the ranch. After I graduate there, I will help my dad run his ranch. After five years, I will own half of it."

"Well, that's a good plan, but where does Maddie fit in?"

"She will finish school while I'm in college. Then next summer, if we have your blessing, we will get married."

"Where will you live?"

"At the boarding house, until I build us a house."

"You really do have it all planned, don't you?"

"I do. I plan everything so that I have a goal to work toward."

The boy really had a level head on his shoulders. He seemed mature for fifteen and he knew he was good for Maddie and that they loved each other.

He put his hand out. "You have my blessing, Nate. Welcome to our family." Nate put his hand in Jack's and pumped hard.

"Thank you! Thank you so much." He got up to leave but stopped. "Mr. Thornton, I promise you that I will take care of her. You don't need to worry. Oh, and this is a surprise, so don't tell Maddie, please."

THE BOARDING HOUSE

Theresa made her bed and dressed and then headed downstairs to make coffee. She heard voices in the kitchen. Two men talking. One was Jake, but she didn't recognize the other voice.

"Morning, gentleman," she said as she walked to the hot coffee.

"Miss Landry, I'd like you to meet, Ben Jackson. Ben this is Theresa Landry."

Theresa looked up into the most beautiful green eyes she'd ever seen. "Sir," she nodded.

"Ma'am," he said, seemingly just as entranced with her eyes as she was with his.

"What brings you to town, Mr. Jackson?" She somehow managed to speak.

"I moved here. I am the new president of the bank in town."

"I see." She looked at his perfectly straight, white teeth and then his brown hair and he was tall…

"Miss Landry?"

"Hmm?" She blushed as she realized he had been talking to her and she had no idea what about.

"I asked if you have family in these parts."

"I'm sorry. My father, Frank Hogan, is the pastor in town. My step-mother Abigail and half-sister Carrie live here as well."

"I'm sure I'll meet them around town." He turned to address Jake. "Mr. Hunt, I appreciate the room. My apartment above the bank should be ready in a week or so and then I'll be out of your hair."

"That's just fine. We have plenty of room here for as long as you need."

Ben nodded. "Well, I need to head to the bank. Have a good day, Miss Landry."

"You too, Mr. Jackson."

As Ben walked down the sidewalk to the bank, he thought about the beautiful gray-eyed woman he just met. She was lovely and he really wanted to get to know her better. Hopefully he would bump into her in town, soon.

Theresa sipped her coffee and ate her toast, smiling to herself. Jake watched her, knowing just what she was smiling at. "Should we expect you for supper tonight, Miss Landry?" He had a twinkle in his eye showing he was teasing.

"No, Mr. Hunt. As always, I will be at the restaurant, cooking for the wonderful residents of Harris Town."

"Maybe I'll have to suggest to a certain banker that he stop by for some of your famous meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

"Maybe you should." She smiled, put her cup in the sink, and walked out the door.

Ben walked back to the boarding house at lunch, on the off chance Miss Landry would be there. He had no idea what she did during the day.

He walked in the front door and removed his hat.

"Mr. Jackson? I'm Charlotte Hunt. I'm Jake's wife."

"Hello, Mrs. Hunt. Pleasure meeting you."

"You as well. Would you like some lunch? I have tomato soup and my grandchildren's favorite, hot cheese sandwiches."

"That sounds wonderful."

"Great, have a seat." She gestured to the table. "Jake told me you met Theresa Landry this morning."

"Yes, ma'am."

She put his bowl of soup and sandwich in front of him. "She's not here. She's the head cook at the restaurant down the way."

"I see." He made up his mind to eat dinner there that night.

THAT EVENING

Ben changed for dinner and then walked down the street to the restaurant, ready to eat alone like he always did. He was used to it. It had been six years since his wife Renee died. Since then, everything was done alone. He ate meals alone, spent lonely evenings alone. His parents were both dead, since he was twelve. His father's cousin who raised him, passed when he turned eighteen. He had no one left.

The thought of once again spending time with a woman made him hopeful.

"Good evening, sir. Just one tonight?"

"Always," he thought to himself. "Yes, ma'am. Just me."

"Tonight, we have meatloaf and mashed potatoes or roast beef with roasted potatoes."

"Meatloaf, please."

"Very good." About a minute later, she brought over warm fresh bread and cold butter.

"Thank you," he said with a nod.

The bread was easily the best he had ever tasted without the butter. With it, he was in heaven.

The meatloaf and mashed potatoes were better than the bread. Good grief, if the lovely Miss Landry cooked this well, he would eat lunch and dinner every day at the restaurant and most likely gain twenty pounds by the end of the month. It would be worth it.


	24. Chapter 24 - Us

Ben did as he planned, enjoying every lunch and dinner at the restaurant for the next two weeks. He asked after her every meal, and she always sent her thankfulness to him, but never came out to see who was sending the compliments. She suspected but she never confirmed.

By the time she returned home to the boarding house in the late evening, he had always retired to his room.

In the mornings, however, they ate breakfast together, with Jake and Charlotte present, of course.

"My apartment is ready, so I will be moving this afternoon." Theresa looked up from her tea, feeling like she was losing something, which didn't make sense for a number of reasons.

"That was quick."

"Anyone home?" Frank called from the parlor.

"Yes, Frank. In the kitchen," Charlotte said loudly.

He walked in, a grin on his face. "How's my lovely daughter this morning?" He kissed her cheek.

"Hi, Frank. I'm well. How are you?"

Their interaction confused Ben. Why did she call her father Frank? He had so much he wanted to learn about her, if she would give him the chance.

Frank looked down at Ben. "Hi, Frank Hogan." He held out his hand and Ben shook it.

"Ben Jackson, sir. Good to meet you."

"You too. You're the banker, yes?"

"Yes, and you're the pastor?"

"I am."

Frank looked at his daughter again who looked nervous watching them. "Theresa?"

"Yes?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, of course. I need to get going."

"Going where? I was hoping you would spend the day with me."

"This is my only day off, so I have errands to run. I'll come see you this evening, ok?"

"Sure." Frank was disappointed. He hadn't spent time with her in weeks. She kissed his cheek and walked out the door.

THE THORNTONS

Nate knocked on their door and then patted his pocket for the hundredth time to make sure it was there.

It was here. The day he had waited so long for.

Carlie, of course, opened the door. "Hi!"

"Hi, Car. Is Maddie ready?"

"She will be here in a second. Wow, those are pretty flowers. Are you gonna kiss her? Do you have a present for her? It's her birthday, you know."

"Carlie Grace. Leave poor Nate alone and let him in." Elizabeth smiled as she shooed Carlie away and opened the door for him. "Come in Nate."

"Thank you, ma'am."

He removed his hat and ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

He looked up and smiled, seeing her. "Hi," they said in unison.

"Happy birthday, Maddie. These are for you." He handed her the bouquet of daisies in his hand.

"Thank you, Nate."

"I'll put them in water, Maddie."

"Thanks, Ma." She admired how nice Nate looked in his black pants and white dress shirt. "You're pretty dressed up for fishing," she observed.

He shrugged. "Is Em coming?"

"I'm coming!" Em hurried down the stairs. "Lets catch some dinner."

He had asked Em to come so it didn't seem out of the ordinary to Maddie. If he asked her to go fishing alone, she would suspect something was going on.

They grabbed three poles and a can of worms from the barn and headed to the pond behind their house.

Nate knew that If anyone happened to be looking out the kitchen window, they would be able to witness the whole thing. He hoped no one would be. It was nerve wracking enough proposing in front of Em.

When they got to the pond, they took a seat on the bench and Em walked over to read by the tree.

"Are you having a good birthday so far?" he wondered.

"Yeah. It's been good, but I really wanted to be with you today. We haven't spent a lot of time together lately."

"I know. I want to be with you too." He kissed her forehead and smiled. "Em, we'll be right back."

"Ok," she muttered, thinking nothing of it.

Nate took Maddie's hand and led her around the edge of the pond. "Where are we going?"

"Just over here. I want to talk to you." He stopped a moment later and then turned toward her. "Maddie, I was thinking about when I first came to town."

"That was a long time ago." He nodded.

"I remember just a few things about it, one of which was meeting you. I remember I thought it was weird your name was Bug."

"I remember that too." He reached down and took her hands in his.

"As we grew up together, you became my best friend and you still are. Then, when I realized that I loved you, I felt so lucky. I thank God every day for you, Maddie. I would be lost without you." He let go of her hands and got down on his knee.

"Nate!" she gasped.

"I love you Madelyn Elizabeth Thornton. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. Will you be my wife?"

"Yes." She looked down at him, placing her hands on his cheeks, wiping his tears. "Yes, Nathan Joseph Carlin. I will be your wife, forever."

AT THE HOUSE

"Oh my!" Elizabeth gasped as she watched from the window. "Jack!"

Jack walked in the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him close. She pointed at the scene across the field. Maddie was in Nate's arms now and they were kissing. "I saw him. He was down on his knee. I think our daughter just got engaged."

"Yeah, she did."

"Jack Thornton!" Elizabeth gave him her scary teacher face with her hands on her hips. "If you tell me that you already knew…"

"Ok, I won't." He shrugged like it was no big deal. "Did I ever tell you that you are completely adorable when you do that?"

"Don't try to make this cute. How could you not tell me?"

"Sweetheart, he asked for her hand and my blessing. Then he swore me to secrecy. I couldn't tell."

"I thought you hated secrets."

"Unless they are harmless. This one was." He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Don't be mad, babe. This was a good secret."

She moved her hands up his arms and settled them around his neck. "It was," she admitted.

"Forgive me?"

"I suppose. On one condition."

He leaned down and kissed her neck, making her sigh. "What's that?" He kissed her jaw and moved slowly up to her chin.

"Um….I forgot." She found his lips with hers and kissed him until they both needed to breathe.

"Gross! Why do you guys kiss so much?"

"Will, what is it?" Elizabeth asked as she reluctantly separated from Jack.

"May Drew and I go fishing?"

"Yes, you may. Be home with enough time to clean the fish so I can cook them."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, Mrs. Thornton. Where were we?" Jack flashed his dimples at her, making her stomach flutter.

BACK AT THE POND

Maddie stared down at the beautiful emerald ring that he had just slipped on her finger.

"My dad gave it to me. It was my mom's engagement ring. Do you like it?"

"It's perfect. Are you sure you want to give me something so special?"

"You deserve something special, and Dad said and I agreed that my mom would have loved you. She would want you to have it."

Her eyes filled with tears. She unclasped her necklace and took off her Papa William's ring. "Nate, my Grandma gave me her and my Papa's wedding rings before she passed. This was his and now it will be yours." She took his right hand and slipped it on his finger. "Now, when you are away from me, at college, this will remind you of our promise to each other."

"Believe me, I won't ever forget."

"Oh Nate. This was perfect. Just like you promised." She stepped toward him and kissed his cheek, and then hugged him.

"I love you."

"I love you."

Nate and Maddie walked back to Em. "Hey, where were you guys?"

"Some chaperone you are, Em," Maddie teased. "We were just over there, getting engaged."

"What?! I missed it? I could have watched the whole thing? Now you'll have to tell me everything." Em walked over. "Congratulations!"

The girls jumped around and squealed when Maddie showed Em her ring. Nate just watched and laughed.

THE BOARDING HOUSE

After her errands were completed, Theresa walked back to the boarding house to make two pies, one apple and one cherry. She would take one to Frank, Abigail, and Carrie and she would give one to Ben.

Ben came back to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything and smelled something wonderful. He wandered into the kitchen and watched her for a moment. She looked beautiful with an apron around her waist, obviously doing what she loved.

She turned and almost dropped the pie that was in her hand. "I'm sorry, Mr. Jackson. I didn't realize anyone was in here."

"I just walked in." He wasn't going to confess he had been watching her.

"Apple or cherry?"

"Hmm?"

"Pie. Apple or cherry?" she repeated.

"Either one. I enjoy all your food, but since you don't let me give my compliments directly to the chef, you might not know that." He reached up to brush a smudge off her cheek.

Her cheeks turned pink as she turned around. "So it was you," she said quietly.

"Yes, it was." He stepped over next to her and watched her. "Do you always have Saturday off?"

"Yes, why?"

"Will you have dinner with me next Saturday? I'll cook, here, if Mrs. Hunt doesn't mind."

"You cook, do you, Mr. Jackson?"

"Not as well as you, but I dabble. I make a pretty good pot roast."

"It would be nice having someone else do the cooking."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, if you don't mind my little sister tagging along."

"Of course. I'd love to meet her." Truthfully, he wanted to get to know her, just her, but he understood her hesitation.

"Ok, next Saturday."

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Nate, Em, and Maddie walked in the door that afternoon with a few fish for supper.

Nate, thankfully, had offered to clean the fish, but Maddie watched. She had never wanted to learn that particular skill, but now that she was going to be a wife, she thought it would be a good idea to learn.

"Here, you do the next one," he said, handing her the knife.

"Uh, no, I think I'll just watch."

"You stick your hand inside a chicken and pull out it's gizzards and who knows what else. This isn't any different."

"I suppose it isn't."

"I'll help you." He handed her the knife but stood behind her, his hands on her hands, guiding her.

"Uh, Nate," she giggled. "This isn't really helping."

"No? What about this?" He stepped even closer and kissed her temple.

She turned slightly and looked at his lips which were dangerously close to hers. "That's better." She looked back at her fish. "So when are we getting married?"

"Next summer. Maybe July?"

"How about June?"

"How about May?" He laughed. "I guess that won't work. I'll still be in Calgary."

"Good grief, it will be hard with you away." She didn't want to think about it, but it was a fact.

He tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "I'll miss you too, but we have a few months before I go anywhere."

"Are you working all summer with your dad?"

"Only a few days a week. I told him I wanted to spend time with you too." She smiled, shaking her head. "What?"

"I still can't believe you proposed. What a perfect day." She looked at her ring and then back at him, kissing him softly. "I think maybe you should sit at the table because I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stop myself from kissing you again." He smiled and stepped away.

Jay ran in, "Me Me! Fishy?"

"Hey bud. Yeah we caught some fish for supper."

"Yum! Up pease."

"I have yucky hands. Go see Nate. He'll hold you."

"Want Me Me."

"I know, but you can sit with Nate and talk to me."

Jack, holding five month old Kylie, Elizabeth, holding two year old Abbie, Carlie, and Em walked in. "Hey, everyone? Anything new?"

Elizabeth nudged him with her elbow.

Maddie shook her head. "You know, don't you? Em! It was my news to tell."

"I didn't say a thing!"

"She didn't," Elizabeth started. "Your Dad and I kinda saw you through the window."

"Sorry, Em. Now I know where Carlie gets it," Maddie said with a laugh.

"Hey!" Carlie said.

"Sorry, but you, little sister, are the biggest snoop and apparently you get it from them."

"Congratulations, Maddie. I'm happy for you," Elizabeth told her. She put Abbie down and walked over to give her a hug. Then she hugged Nate. "Welcome to our family."

"There's no place else I'd rather be," he said, hugging her back.

"Sweet boy," Elizabeth told him.

"Dad? You're awfully quiet over there. How are you doing?"

He thought he was doing fine, but now, he wasn't so sure. Maddie saw him tear up so she washed her hands and then walked over to him. She took Kylie from him, handed her to her Mom, and then hugged him. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you, Bug." He touched her face and smiled. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart, inside and out. Nate is a lucky man."

"I agree," Nate said quietly.

"Both of you, stop. You are going to make me cry." She sniffed and went back to her fish.

THAT EVENING, AFTER DINNER

Maddie got the day off from dishes because it was her birthday so she went to sit on the porch with Nate, bringing Jay with her.

She sat next to him and watched Jay chasing bugs on the porch. Nate slipped his arm around her shoulder, grabbing her hand with his free one. "Maddie?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for saying yes." She turned her head toward him and smiled.

"Thank you for asking me."

"I should probably go," he whispered, touching her beautiful face with his fingertips.

"Why?"

"Because all I want to do right now is kiss you and that might not be a good idea."

"Just a little kiss would be ok with me," she said with a grin.

At this point, he found it hard to deny her anything so he leaned toward her, their lips almost touching.

"Me Me! Look, bug!" He had a moth in his hand.

"How is it Jay is a better chaperone than Em?" she asked with a laugh. "Bud, you gotta let the bug go."

"No! Jay want to keep."

"But he has a family out there somewhere that's missing him. You don't want them to be sad, do you?"

"A Mama and Daddy?"

"Yep, and brothers and sisters."

He walked over and put the bug on the porch railing. "Go bug! Go Mama want you!"

The bug stayed put, flapping it's wings but not flying.

"Go bug. I sorry! Go home bug!" Jay was getting upset, tears running down his face. "I sorry bug! I sorry!" He ran over to Maddie and collapsed in tears.

"Aw, Jay. It's ok buddy. He will go home." She picked him up and held him tight.

"I sorry. I didn't mean it. Don't want his Mama to be sad."

"She won't be. You let him go. He will go home." She rubbed his back for a few moments as he relaxed into her shoulder. "I love you buddy."

"Moon back, Me Me."

Nate had watched the whole exchange and he was pretty sure he fell in love with her all over again. "What does he mean, moon back?"

"Ever since we were little, when we said "I love you" to Mom, she would say, "to the moon and back, love." He must have heard us say it and so he says it his own way." She kept rubbing his back and then they started rocking the swing.

"You have quite the bond with him."

"I remember when he was born, I held him and rocked him right after and talked to him and then since then, he kinda follows me around. He chose me." She felt her eyes burn as they filled with tears. "I love him so much, Nate. It's like he's mine and I'm his."

"I think that's true. You are going to be such a good Mama when the time comes."

"I hope so. I want that for us." He nodded and gently touched his lips to hers.

"Happy birthday, Maddie. I love you."

"I love you too."


	25. Chapter 25 - Getting to know you

Theresa changed her clothes for the third time. Nothing looked right. The worst part was, she didn't know why she was making a big fuss.

She was a firm believer in being yourself when dealing with others. If you were yourself, and they didn't like you, it was their loss. If you hid things or acted perfect, they wouldn't know the real you and it would be your own fault.

She buttoned her shirt, tucked it in, and tied her hair back in a bun, leaving a few loose pieces around her face.

It had been at least three years since she had been on a date. It wasn't for lack of wanting one, but after she broke up with her boyfriend, her mother got sick and she spent all of her time searching for Frank and taking care of her. She had put herself last, forgetting about her own wants.

Now, an intriguing man was showing interest and she almost didn't know what to do.

"Be yourself, love," her mother always told her. She would try. "I need to think of myself," she told herself.

DOWNSTAIRS

Ben put the roast in the oven an hour before and then left to get ready. Now he was headed back, a bouquet of fresh wild flowers in his hand.

As he walked down the sidewalk, he saw a young, blonde-haired girl headed his way. He watched as she walked happily, skipping every few steps. Then she went up the steps of the boarding house and walked right in.

He stopped on the porch, finding himself nervous. His wife had been gone a long time. Wasn't it time for him to move on? He felt that Theresa was someone he wanted to know, someone he wanted in his life, so what was his hesitation?

"Just go, Benny. Live your life. Move forward." Those were the last words his father's cousin said before he passed. So, it was time.

He took a deep breath and walked in, just as Theresa was walking down the stairs. "Good evening, Mr. Jackson."

"Good evening, Miss Landry. These are for you," he said, handing her the bouquet, except for one flower.

"Thank you. Who is that one for?"

"For this lovely young lady here." He walked over to Carrie and bowed, handing her the flower. "For you, my lady," he said dramatically.

"Hi," Carrie said with a giggle. "Thank you, sir."

Theresa smiled. Yep, that clinched it. She felt something interesting for the man and she barely knew him.

She followed them into the kitchen and found a jar for her flowers and then she stood back and watched him cook and answer a million questions from Carrie. He was so patient and kind. Very good qualities for him to have.

As he cooked, Ben answered a hundred questions for young Carrie, but he really wanted to get to know Theresa. She, however, just stood back and listened.

"Miss Landry, I haven't heard much from you tonight. May I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"How long have you been in living here, in Harris Town?" He set the spoon he was using down and turned to her, as if he actually cared what she was going to say.

"I came just after Thanksgiving."

"Where did you live before?"

"Buxton."

"What made you come here?"

"When my mother passed, Frank invited me to come here. I was struggling and I needed someone. Being alone was so hard." He could see her demeanor change as she spoke.

"I understand, believe me. I've been alone now for six years and sometimes it's overwhelming."

"I'm sorry. Did someone pass away?"

"Yes, my wife Renee."

She stared at him, seeing him stare into space, as if his thoughts were taking him back there. She reached out and rested her hand on his arm. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Jackson."

"Thank you."

She wanted to ask more questions, but felt limited because of Carrie being in the room.

As if by magic, the door opened and Frank walked in.

"Forgive me for interrupting, but I'm here to get Carrie."

Theresa was confused. "I thought she was keeping us company tonight."

"Can I keep you company a different night Theresa? I'll go with Daddy now."

"Sure, sweetheart." Carrie hugged her and then walked over to Ben.

"Thank you, sir, for my flower."

"You are most welcome, Carrie. It was nice to meet you."

"You too." With that, she was gone.

Theresa immediately felt nervous. Now they could speak without reserve, but what if he didn't enjoy her company?

"And then there were two," he said with a shrug. "Are you ok with this?"

"Of course." She didn't exactly feel comfortable but she figured it was because she hadn't had a date in awhile.

"Are you nervous? I am a bit."

"Yes, I suppose. It's been a few years since I've been on a date."

"Me too." She looked at the table and realized how beautiful it looked, but that there were only two place settings.

"Did you plan this, Mr. Jackson?"

"Plan what?"

"To have Carrie leave?"

"I hope you aren't angry. I understand the need for her to be here, but I really would like to get to know you better, not necessarily with a child in the room."

She chuckled. "No, not angry. You took a big chance that I would be though."

"I did. I don't take many chances, unless I believe the cause is completely worth it." His eyes flicked to hers, holding her gaze.

She felt her cheeks heat up and she felt a fluttery sensation in her stomach. "Oh my, he has gorgeous eyes," she told herself.

"Did you mean that, Mr. Jackson?"

He walked closer and smiled. "Call me Ben and yes, I meant it." He moved closer, staring into her soul, or so it felt. When he grabbed her fingers, she felt heat travel from her fingers up her arms until her whole body felt hot.

He didn't know why he did it, maybe he was going crazy, but some inexplicable force caused him to lean down and kiss her cheek. She closed her eyes as he did it, looking as if she was completely enjoying it.

Her heart raced causing her to close her eyes to the wonderful sensation of his warm lips on her cheek. Her senses seemed to heighten as it happened. She could feel everything and he smelled very….manly. Maybe a mixture of soap and aftershave, but whatever it was, she was sure she wanted to inhale that scent for the rest of her life.

"Miss…"

"Theresa."

"Theresa, why didn't you ever come out to see me in the restaurant?" He was standing slightly farther away now, which was good, because she thought she might pass out, however, strangely she missed him.

"Um…I didn't know who was out there."

"Are you sure? You didn't think it could be me?"

"Ok, maybe I hoped it would be you." Her cheeks heated again at her confession.

"Then, why not come out and see?"

"Nerves, I suppose." She sat down at the table and watched as the candles flickered on the table, casting a romantic glow on everything. His eyes, those green eyes, sparkled.

He turned and removed the roast from the oven to let it rest.

"Ben, can I help?"

"No, ma'am. I'm cooking for you tonight. Just sit back and relax."

She smiled at that. "Ok, then." She walked over and leaned against the counter. "It smells really good." "As do you," she thought to herself.

TWO HOURS LATER

Charlotte and Jake walked in the parlor door and heard voices. Charlotte started to walk in but Jake stopped her.

"Leave them be, dear. Their getting to know each other."

"I know," she whispered, "but they should be aware we are home, shouldn't they?"

"Sure, I suppose." He knew his wife was being nosy but he also knew he wouldn't be able to stop her.

Charlotte peeked in the kitchen. "Good evening. Just letting you know we're home."

"Ok. Thank you Charlotte." Theresa slipped her fingers gently out of Ben's hand.

They had spent the last two hours talking non-stop about themselves, soaking up the information. Somehow throughout the evening, her hand had found its way into his grasp. It had seemed natural.

"It's getting late. I should go."

"Ok." She was a bit disappointed but knew that it wasn't proper for him to stay much longer.

He stood up and looked at her. "Thank you for having dinner with me, Theresa."

"Thank you for cooking. It was really good."

"That means a lot coming from you." He smiled and leaned back down to kiss her cheek.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Ben."

Needless to say, both Ben and Theresa had sweet dreams that night.

THE NEXT MORNING

Theresa walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab coffee and toast, her daily breakfast.

"Good morning, Theresa."

"Morning, Charlotte."

"You seem happy this morning."

"I am, thank you."

Charlotte handed her a cup of coffee. "Last night was a success, I see."

"Yes. It couldn't have gone better."

"Glad to hear that. He seems quite taken with you as well."

"I hope so." She ate her toast quietly and then went to get ready for church, hoping to see Ben there.

When she walked in the church and sat next to Abigail and Carrie as usual, she didn't see him at first. Then she looked toward the side of the room and found him, talking to Frank.

His eyes eventually drifted her way. He nodded and she waved. As Frank started his sermon, Ben took a seat in the back.

All through the sermon, her mind drifted, as much as she tried to listen. Little did she know, Ben was having the same problem. She was falling fast for him and he was right behind her.

AFTER THE SERMON

Ben walked over and gently touched her elbow. "Hi."

"Hi, Ben. Good to see you."

"You too. Would you have lunch with me?"

"I have to work, actually. I have to prepare the specials for tonight. Why don't you come with me?"

"To the restaurant?"

"Yes. I can make us something to eat while I'm working. There's a table in the kitchen."

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"It was my idea, wasn't it?" She winked, causing him to smile.

"Very well. I'm ready to go when you are."

AT THE STREAM

Maddie and Nate sat under the tree eating while the younger kids ran around and fished.

"One more week of school. Are you excited?"

He smiled and took her hand. "Every day that passes is that much closer to making you my wife, so yes, I'm excited."

"You are very sweet, Nate Carlin."

He smiled and then looked at their hands. "Maddie, I made an assumption about us and then I realized it wasn't something I should decide on my own. I'm trying to remember that some decisions are joint decisions." She sat back against the tree and leaned against his shoulder.

"I'm listening."

"Where do you want to live?"

"With you."

"Well, yes. I would think so." She laughed.

"That's it. Wherever you want to live is fine, as long as it's with you."

"I was thinking the boarding house until I save enough to build a house for us."

"With lots of bedrooms for all the babies we will have?"

"Absolutely."

"Ok, since that is settled, I have something we need to talk about." She squeezed his hand and lifted her head.

"I'm listening," he said.

"Some men don't want their wives working. My dad has always said that as long as my mom is happy, he doesn't mind. What do you think?"

"I agree with your father. You are the most important thing in my world. If you want to work, and it makes you happy, I'm good with it."

"I want to help save for our house." Nate was silent. "Nate?"

"I want to pay for the house myself, Maddie."

"If I help, it will get us into our new house faster."

"I'm sorry but, no."

"Why?"

"Because that's how I think it should be. I'm the husband so I think I should take care of us, including building a house."

"Nate, I don't understand why. We are supposed to be in this together."

"We are, but it's my job, Maddie."

"So, we're a team, except when you say we're not?" She stood up and put her hands on her hips. "How is that fair?"

Elizabeth looked up when she heard Maddie raise her voice.

Then she saw Nate walk off and Maddie sit down leaning her head on her knees.

She stood up and walked over. "Honey, may I sit?"

"Sure." She kept her head down and sniffled.

Elizabeth honestly didn't know what to say. She didn't want to butt in.

"Can I go home, Ma? I really don't want to be here."

"Do you want to tell me what happened first?"

"Me Me!" Jay ran over and flung himself at her, hugging her neck.

"Hi, bud."

He leaned back and looked at her face. "Me Me, you sad?"

"A little."

"Smile, Me Me. Happy!"

She giggled as he used his fingers to force her lips into a smile. "See, happy!"

He snuggled into her neck and sighed.

"Mom, did Dad let you help pay for things for the house in Hope Valley?"

"I guess, I bought some things, like bedding or things like that. The house though, Papa William paid for it. Dad bought the land."

Maddie nodded. "Nate wants to save for a house and he won't let me help. He says if I want to work, I can, but I can't pay for anything because he's the husband."

Elizabeth again didn't know what to say. They needed to learn how to work things out on their own.

"What do I do, Ma?"

"Honey, you are going to be married, so I no longer will tell you what decision to make. What I am going to say is, talk to him. Listen to each other's points of view and if necessary, compromise."

"Come on, buddy. Let's walk home with Em." She set him on his feet and stood up. "Thanks for listening, Mom."

"I'll always listen, but now that you'll be married, I will let you figure things out."

Maddie nodded and walked off.

As they walked, they passed Nate's house. He must have been watching for her because he ran out of the house. "Maddie, can I talk with you?"

Em looked at her and shrugged. She took Jay and continued walking home while Maddie stayed with Nate.

Maddie looked at him, waiting. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't want to fight with you."

"Neither do I."

She crossed her arms and waited again. "Lets sit down, ok?"

She followed him to the porch swing and sat about a foot away from him. "Maddie, I don't know exactly how to start."

"Tell me why I can't help pay for a house that we will both live in. A house that our babies will be born in. A house we will grow old together in. Why shouldn't I get a say in how it will look?"

He thought for a moment. "People expect a husband to take care of his family. I don't think you realize how much pressure that puts on me."

"I'm trying to take some of that pressure off you. I think that a wife should support her husband and back him up."

"Then support me in this. This is important to me. I need to show that I'm capable."

"Who are you proving yourself to? I can tell you right now, Nate, the last thing you need to do is convince me of your ability to care for me."

"Not you."

"Who?"

"Everyone else. People automatically think that because we are young, that we don't know what love is, or that we couldn't possibly know how to be a husband or wife, but I know with all of my heart that I love you. I know I can be a good husband. I can support our family."

"Who told you that you aren't capable? I'd like to have a talk with them."

"They didn't have to tell me. I can see it in their eyes. I'm not good enough." He looked out across the field toward the land that would be his one day.

"Nate, you are perfect for me. That's all that matters. You don't need to listen to anyone else."

"Maddie, this is important to me. I need your support in this. I need to take care of you."

"Compromise if necessary" her mother had said.

"Let's compromise."

"What do you mean?"

"You pay for the supplies needed to complete the house and I will pay for furnishings."

Nate looked at her, the young woman he would marry in about a year. Hopefully, they'd be together for the next fifty years and have a family and be happy. He wanted nothing more than for her to be happy because that would make him happy. "Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yes, you take care of furnishing it, and I'll take care of the rest."

She smiled at him and then pulled him off the swing so she could hug him. "Come here, Nate."

He stepped close and wrapped his arms around her, staring into her eyes. "I'm sorry we fought, Maddie."

"Me too."

He bent down and kissed her. "I love you."

"To the moon and back, Nate."


	26. Chapter 26 - Dreams

REGINA

Amy was feeling good. That wasn't to say that she didn't fall into bed and sleep hard at the end of the day, though.

She was struggling with Caleb being gone three weeks out of each month but she stayed busy and Lily had moved in so she wasn't as lonely as she could be.

"Mamama," Mason babbled from his high chair.

"Hi, baby." She kissed his head. "Love you sweet boy."

"Dada?"

"Daddy will be home today, Mase. Are you excited?"

He nodded, even though she knew he didn't know what exciting meant. "Me too," she whispered.

Lily walked in with Meri, walking next to her, hanging on to one of her fingers. "We have a clean diaper and we are ready to eat, aren't we Meri?"

Meri let go of Lily's finger and balanced, swaying slightly.

"Look at you!" Amy said clapping her hands. "Walk to me, Meri." She squatted down and held her hands out but Meri just sat on the floor. She was more timid than Mason who had started walking the month before.

Lily put Meri in her chair and kissed her goodbye. "I will see you in a week, ok?"

"Yes, thank you, Lil. I appreciate your help."

About an hour after Lily left, Caleb walked in. "Ames?"

Amy put Meri in her crib and walked out to see Caleb.

"Hi!" She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I'm so glad you're home." Her eyes filled with tears and then ran down her cheeks.

"Hey babe." He put his hands on her tummy. "Look at you. I feel like I'm missing this whole pregnancy."

"Nothing too exciting happening. You should be able to feel the baby move though."

He took her hand and led her to the couch, immediately putting his hand on her.

"Caleb?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me, please. I've missed you so much." He sat up and looked at her.

"If you insist." The hand that was on her tummy, moved to her cheek. Then his lips found hers causing her to melt. There was nothing as good as his kisses.

"Since the kids are napping, I think we should too," she said, standing up.

Who was he to argue?

HARRIS TOWN, THE RESTAURANT, THAT EVENING

Ben ate his amazing dinner, which was just a roast beef sandwich and chicken soup, and then signaled Abigail over.

"Let me guess, Ben. You want me to tell the chef that her food was so good you could eat it every day?"

"Precisely. Also, could you give her this, please?"

He handed her an envelope. "You got it. Apple pie, Ben?"

"Yes, but I'm hoping that Theresa will come share a piece with me." He always hoped, but she never did. Until today.

"I heard you wanted a piece of pie." She slid the plate in front of him and sat down next to him.

"Only if you'll share it with me." He squeezed her fingers gently. "Will you have dinner with me tonight?"

"I have to work, Ben. But Saturday I will." She ate a few bites. "Oh wait! I'm supposed to go to Frank and Abigail's Saturday. Do you want to come?"

"Sure."

They ate their pie, every so often touching hands or looking at each other. After a few minutes, Theresa stood up. "I should get back. See you tomorrow?"

"How about tonight? Maybe we can go for a walk."

"I get off at seven. Want to pick me up here?"

"Yes, I will." She touched his shoulder briefly and then was gone.

REGINA

"Caleb that sounds so dangerous!"

"If it was real, it would have been. This was a fake case with fake criminals. They have to throw us into situations that would be similar to what we could encounter at our own postings."

"I guess." She didn't look convinced.

"Swift says I'm a good shot because I rarely miss the target. I don't know about good, but it makes me feel good to have him compliment me."

"You've worked really hard to get on his good side. It's about time he recognizes it."

She put the chicken on the table along with the potatoes and gravy. Then she took the biscuits from the oven and set them on the table too.

Caleb put the twins in their chairs and then sat down to offer a blessing.

After their prayer, Caleb didn't let go of her hand. Instead he lifted it to his mouth and kissed it softly. "I love you so much, Ames."

"I love you."

Amy used her free hand to give the babies biscuits and eventually potatoes, all the while, gripping Caleb's hand as if he would disappear if she let go.

"Ames?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Tomorrow, about three, I'm sending you to town."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"Two reasons. One, I want you to have some time with just yourself."

"I don't want that, Caleb. I don't have much time with you as it is."

"Let me finish," he said quietly. She nodded. "The second reason is, at the dress shop in town, there will be something waiting for you."

"Like a gift?"

"Yes, like a gift. Now, you won't be gone long, and I will watch the twins. As soon as you're done, just come home."

"What are you up to, Cadet?"

"You'll see. Trust me."

"I do. With my life."

HARRIS TOWN, THE RESTAURANT

Ben walked in with a single daisy in his hand, just as the restaurant was closing. "Evening, Ben."

"Hi, Abigail."

"Theresa will be right out."

"Thank you." As he waited, he stared out the window at the town. He loved this town and the people in it. They were all kind and took care of each other. That's not something he was used to, coming from Calgary. Big city life was completely different and he had no desire to go back.

"Ben?"

"Hi," he answered with a smile.

"You ok?"

"I get to spend my evening with one of the loveliest ladies in town. Of course I'm ok."

"Ben," she said, her cheeks blushing.

"I speak the truth."

"You just seemed like you were somewhere else entirely."

"That may be true, but now, I'm here." He handed her the flower. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, let's go."

They walked down the sidewalk, not speaking, just enjoying being with the other person. He offered his arm, which she gladly took. As they walked out of town, he led her toward the stream he found the day before.

"Where are we going?"

"Just to the stream. It has a lovely view of the sunset."

When they arrived, he pulled a small box out of his pocket. She wouldn't dare jump to the conclusion that her mind wanted her to. She looked up at him, her gray eyes reflecting the water. "Open it."

She took the box, her hands shaking. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and then opened it. "Oh, Ben. It's beautiful. An opal?"

"It was my mother's. When she passed, my dad's cousin made sure I received it. Something to remember her by. Honestly, I don't remember much considering I was only twelve and it was over twenty years ago."

"At the risk of ruining this moment, can I ask you something?"

"Of course. I appreciate honesty."

"Why didn't you give this to Renee?"

"I don't know."

"Ben, surely you loved her, I mean I know you did. I can see it."

"I did love her. She was there for me when my dad's cousin died. It honestly broke my heart when I lost her."

"But?"

"But, I wasn't in love with her. She was my best friend and I wanted to be with her." He took the necklace from the box and turned her gently so he could fasten it. "We married because we thought it was logical. We slept in separate rooms. We were only married on paper."

Theresa looked up into his eyes. "Ben, why are you giving this to me?"

He stared back and touched her cheek. "Because I love you, Theresa. I think I fell in love with you that first day at the boarding house. Your amazing eyes did something to me. They showed hurt and sadness and I wanted to be the one to make them show happiness."

"Ben, you love me?" She couldn't believe he said the words out loud.

"I do." He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger.

"I love you too." He took her chin in his fingers and guided her mouth to his. The kiss was perfect and she tasted like strawberries. He tasted like mint and the feel of his warm lips against hers, made her heart race. "Ben," she mumbled, breaking their connection.

"Yes?" He placed his palm on her cheek, searching her eyes with his.

"I've waited a long time for you. Growing up without a father…I don't know, maybe the man I envisioned I would love was just a fantasy. Maybe because I didn't have a man to look up to, I wasn't being realistic in what I was looking for."

"Theresa, what are you saying?"

"I dreamed of you. I didn't know it was you, but the man was tall and kind and he loved me." A tear trickled down her cheek. "I thought I didn't have a chance in meeting someone so wonderful. I resigned myself to never having the whole family that I want so badly."

"You deserve to be happy and I can see that you are."

"Because of you, Ben. You make me happy."

CARLIN HOUSE, PORCH

Maddie had come over for dinner, at Dee's request, to celebrate their engagement.

"Your parents are so sweet, Nate. I can see that they support you and love you so much."

"They love both of us. My mom told me earlier that she can't wait to have another daughter."

"I can't wait to have another mother."

"June 2nd."

"What's June 2nd?"

"The day you become Maddie Carlin and we don't have to keep our distance anymore."

"Pretty sure we aren't very distant right now." They were standing facing each other, arms wrapped tightly around the other, their lips only about an inch apart.

"True, but tonight, you can't stay."

"No, I can't." She touched his lips briefly with hers. "Love you."

"Love you." She stepped away and walked home, a smile on her face, loving the way Maddie Carlin sounded on her fiancé's lips.

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Maddie walked in to the living room and sat down next to Em. "Hey."

"Hey," Em responded.

"Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Yes! I thought you weren't going to ask me."

"Of course I would. You are my best friend."

"I know, you just didn't say anything."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm glad you are going to be up there with me."

"You and me, sister. I'll always be with you, even if we don't live together." Maddie sighed and slipped her arm through Em's.

"This is scary but wonderful at the same time."

"Why scary?"

"Growing up, not living with mom and dad or you, living as a wife, not a kid. Then just everything. It's scary."

"Yeah, it will be weird not sharing my bed with you. I'll be lonely."

"Em, you could always share with Carlie."

"Bite your tongue. She kicks in her sleep. I'll be one big bruise." Maddie just laughed. "I wonder if Nate snores?"

"I don't know, but you do, so I'll be all right."

"I do not snore, Maddie!"

"Whatever you say."

REGINA, NEXT AFTERNOON

Amy kissed her children and husband goodbye and walked to Lily's house to pick her up. She thought it might be more fun to go with a friend.

A half hour later, they walked into Denise's Dress Shop. Amy usually made her own clothes, so she couldn't fathom paying full price for clothing. She picked up a price tag and gasped. Caleb couldn't possibly expect her to get a dress from there.

"Lil! Look at this. Fifteen dollars? I can't spend that much!"

"Amy, the woman behind the counter is waving us over." They walked over to the woman behind the counter. "Ma'am, we're sorry to bother you but I think there is a package here for an Amy Thornton."

"Yes, miss. One moment." The kind woman appeared a moment later with a large wrapped box, tied with a red ribbon, and a note on the top.

The envelope had "Ames" on it, so it was for her.

"Happy second Anniversary, my love. I want you to open the box and put it on. Forget about the cost. You are worth every penny. Here's to fifty more years of love, babies, and happiness.

Caleb

She looked at Lily and then lifted the lid, carefully moving the tissue paper aside. "Oh my!" She looked at the woman and her eyes filled with tears. "Ma'am, I don't know how much my husband spent, but I assure you we cannot…."

"Mrs. Thornton, forgive me, but your husband said you would object. However, this is already paid for. It's yours and I guarantee you will love it. Now, please step over to the changing room."

Amy took a deep breath and picked up the box, taking it to the room, asking Lily to assist her with the numerous buttons down the back. The dress was a dark red color, high empire waist to accommodate her tummy, with buttons down the back and a ribbon around the high waist, tying in the back.

The neckline was modest, but made her feel attractive at the same time.

Amy felt rich wearing such a lovely dress.

"Lil, I don't know what possessed him…"

"He loves you. I can only hope to find a husband like him one day."

"You will. Any man would be crazy not to pay attention to you."

"Yes, well, so far…"

"You must be patient. One day you'll meet him. Just be patient."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't call me that. You make me feel old."

"Yes, ma'am." They both giggled.

"I bet Caleb and your father know some pretty cute Mounties. Want me to talk to Caleb?"

"No! I don't. I can find my own Mountie…man."

"Especially in this town."

"Ok, enough about me. Let's get you home."

When Amy walked in the door, she heard laughter coming from the living room. Caleb was laying on the floor and the babies were climbing all over him, standing with their hands on his stomach and chest.

Mason looked over at her. "Mama!"

"Hi, Mase! Are you having fun?"

"Dada!" He said, patting Caleb's chest.

"Ames, you look beautiful. Do you like it?"

"Of course, but…"

"No buts. You never do nice things for yourself. You deserve this."

She looked down at the dress and sighed. She didn't buy extra things or spend on things that were frivolous. They were on a budget and would soon have three children.

Caleb knew she felt that it wasn't necessary. He stood up and walked over to her, grabbing her hands. "I know what you're thinking but just enjoy it. You look amazing and it's yours now."

She looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you, Caleb. Happy Anniversary."

He kissed her and then picked up the babies to take them to the table for dinner. "Who's hungry?"

A FEW WEEKS LATER, HARRIS TOWN

After a particularly nice evening with Nate, Maddie climbed the stairs to her parent's room. She knocked.

"Come in," Elizabeth said quietly.

"Hi, Mama."

"Hey Maddie." Maddie walked over and sat in the rocking chair by the window. "Something on your mind?"

"I've been thinking. I'd like to wear your wedding dress when I get married."

"Are you sure you don't want something new?"

"I'm sure. Dad said you looked amazing in your dress. I would love to wear it."

"It is a beautiful dress. Clara made it for me. I'd be honored if you wore it, sweetheart."

"May I try it on?"

"Of course." She placed Kylie in her crib and disappeared inside the closet for a moment. When she came out, the now sixteen year old wedding dress lay draped in her arms.

"It's beautiful," Maddie whispered.

"Honestly, I'm surprised that it survived all the moving around we've done over the years."

She helped Maddie step into it and buttoned up the back. "It's a little tight, but Penny should be able to let it out a bit."

"You are curvier than I was back then. Once this fits correctly, Nate will pass out when he sees you."

Jack, Abbie, and Jay walked in right then.

"Hi, Dad," Maddie greeted with a dimpled smile.

He stared for a moment and then sat on the bed and looked down. He was not ready for this. She looked just as lovely as Elizabeth had, but the thought of giving her away hurt his heart. Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder and kissed his forehead. "Love you," she mouthed.

"Dad?" He couldn't look. "Dad, do I look ok?"

He nodded. Jay noticed his tears. "Daddy sad? See Me Me. Pretty!"

Elizabeth scooped up Abbie and took Jay's hand. "Come on. Let's go have a snack."

Maddie watched her Dad crying on the bed. "Do I look bad? I don't have to wear this, I just thought…"

"Bug, you look just as amazing as your mother did in that dress. Nate will love it."

"Why are you upset?"

He stood up and walked over to her. "Because seeing you like this, made it all so real. I'm not ready to let you go." She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere for a year."

"It could be ten years and I still wouldn't be ready."

"Nate will take good care of me."

"I know, but I want to be the one to take care of you."

"You did that, Dad. You raised me. You gave me everything I could ever need. You loved me with all of your heart, and I love you just as much."


	27. Chapter 27 - Surprises

The summer was exactly what Nate and Maddie wanted. They spent a lot of time together when they weren't working. They planned details of their wedding and enjoyed getting to know each other even more.

Now, it was the end of August and he needed to leave for Calgary.

"Nine months and we won't need to be apart anymore." He tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her smiling lips.

"Promise?"

"Promise. I love you, Maddie."

"Write to me, please."

"I will. See you at Christmas." She nodded, kissed his cheek, and then watched him hug his mom and dad once more before getting on the train.

After the train rounded the bend out of town, She took a deep breath and sighed. She knew this was for the best and she knew she was strong enough to get through it, but it hurt just the same.

REGINA, THORNTON HOUSE

Amy waddled her extremely pregnant body into the kitchen, stopping once to breathe. "Lil? Get your Mom and send someone to get Caleb. It's time to meet this new little one."

"Oh! Ok, I will be right back. I put the twins in their crib so they'll be fine."

Amy nodded and rubbed her hard tummy as she circled the room. Walking helped and so did breathing, so that's what she did. Walk, breathe, walk, breathe, for what seemed like forever.

Finally, Patty and Lily walked in, but no Caleb.

"How are you doing, Amy?" Patty asked, walking with her.

"Good, I just need Caleb."

"I know, but Rob seemed to think he was out on a field test."

"No! He's not supposed to be."

"Rob said Swift made a last minute decision."

"Good grief. I can't do this without him." The panic in her voice echoed off the walls.

"Now listen. You are the strong wife of a Mountie. You may do this without him a lot. Rob has missed three of his kids births."

"No, Caleb promised."

"I see you're stubborn as well. Caleb needs to learn to not make many promises because they'll be broken sometimes."

"Ahhhh!" Amy groaned as a pain shot across her tummy and down her legs.

"That hurt."

"What names do you have picked out?" Patty asked, trying to distract her.

"We decided to wait until we saw the baby to decide."

"Don't you have a favorite?"

"Yes." She groaned and then gasped, feeling another pain.

"Not going to tell me? Ok, I'm patient."

"Mama!" Meri yelled from the nursery.

"I'll take care of them," Lily offered.

"I need to lay down," Amy told her, attempting to make it to the bedroom alone. Patty caught up to her and followed her in the room just as her water broke. Amy pulled her nightgown over her head and retrieved a new one while Patty dried the floor.

"Pat?" Rob yelled from the other room.

"One moment, Rob." She walked into the living room to see him. "What did you find out?"

"Swift took them out of the county. I sent someone to get him, but he won't get back until tomorrow at the earliest."

"Thanks. That's what I was afraid of." He was about to leave when she stopped him. "Hang on. You might as well stay. We may need you to deliver this baby."

"It's been years, Pat."

"Yes, but you have the basic training."

"Yes, but you've had a lot of babies."

"Since that is your fault, let's say you owe me one."

Three hours later, with Rob assisting, Amy gave birth to a screaming baby boy.

Amy had done it without her husband. The idea of him missing his son's birth made her heart hurt, but maybe, as Patty said, he would miss a lot of important things and she would need to learn to deal with that.

Rob handed the little bundle to her, snug and warm in the yellow and green blanket she had knitted herself. "Congratulations, Amy."

"Thank you, Rob." She wiped a tear as she stared at her new son. "Mama loves you, little guy."

HARRIS TOWN, THE RESTAURANT

Ben picked Theresa up from the restaurant, taking her on a picnic by the stream. They went to the stream any chance they got. Tonight was special, she just didn't know it.

The day before, Ben had spoken with Frank, asking for her hand. Thankfully, he had agreed, very happy to be gaining a wonderful son-in-law.

"What do you have in the basket, Terry?" She didn't know that she liked that nickname until he used it. Now, that was his name for her. No one else could use it.

"Your favorites."

He took her hand and they walked out of town. "That doesn't help. I love everything you cook."

"Patience, Ben. You'll find out soon."

He started walking faster, causing her to laugh. "Good thing I have long legs or I couldn't keep up."

A few moments later, they arrived. He smiled as she took in the dozen or so lanterns he had scattered around the area. "Lanterns and rose petals? Ben Jackson, what are you up to?"

He took the basket from her hand and then knelt on one knee in front of her. "Terry, I love you more than I ever thought possible. You are the one I want to come home to every night. I want to have babies with you and wake up with you in my arms for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?"

"Yes I will and I love you too." He stood, picking her up and swinging her around. She squealed and then dropped a kiss on his mouth taking his breath away. When they separated, he slipped a gorgeous diamond ring on her finger.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When should we get married? I don't want to wait very long."

"Me either," he whispered in her ear, hugging her again.

REGINA, THAT NIGHT

Thank goodness for Lil. Amy fed the new baby every two hours and the twins were more needy than usual, wanting her to hold them and feed them. Lil slept in Amy and Caleb's bed so she could get up and get whichever child demanded attention.

At three in the morning, Caleb entered the room just as everyone was asleep. He knelt by Amy's side and kissed her cheek. "Ames?"

"Caleb? What time is it?" She squinted, trying to focus.

"Three." She sighed. "I'm sorry I missed it. Swift sent…"

"I know. I just need to sleep Caleb." She nudged Lil. "Lil? Caleb's home. Can you sleep in the nursery?"

"Sure."

After Lily left, Caleb climbed into bed and sighed. He could tell she was angry, but mostly exhausted. Then he realized he didn't even know if his newest child was a girl or boy. He found out shortly after that when he needed a diaper change.

"A boy. You're a boy. Daddy loves you, buddy. I'm sorry I wasn't here." He kissed his soft head and gently picked him up, holding his tiny body close to his neck.

Caleb laid back down putting the baby on his chest. Soon he heard Amy moan and struggle to turn. "Babe? You ok?"

"Sore. Can you rub my back, please?"

"Sure." He stood up, placed the baby in his cradle and walked over to Amy. "Ames, lay on your side, sweetie." She moved again and he concentrated on gently massaging her lower back and hips. Next he moved up her back toward her shoulders. "How was the labor?"

"It was labor. I could have used your help, Caleb."

The disappointment in her voice made him feel guilty, but it wasn't his fault. "I know, but Swift took us out of town. I told him you could have the baby any day."

"Patty told me I need to understand that you will probably miss a lot of things. I guess I just need to get used to that." She sat up. "We need to name him, Caleb. We can't just call him "the baby.""

"Well, the twins are named after family. So we could do Jack Kevin or Kevin Jacob."

"I think he looks like a Logan. Logan Jacob Thornton."

"Ok. Logan." He kissed her forehead and then helped her to the bathroom.

LATER THAT MORNING, HARRIS TOWN

Elizabeth walked to the store, leaving all the children at home with Jack. She needed to pick up some things and she was headed to see Abigail as well. A visit was long overdue.

"Elizabeth, good to see you!"

"You too, Travis. How are Leesa and the kids?"

"Just fine. How are you doing?"

"Good. I just need to purchase a few things."

"I have some mail and a telegram for you, since you're here."

Elizabeth opened the telegram. "A boy! How wonderful."

"Congratulations, Elizabeth."

"Thank you, Travis." She looked through the mail for a moment. "Is Penny at home, do you know?"

"I believe so. Go on up."

Elizabeth knocked on the door and waited. The door opened and Mark opened the door. "Hi, Mark. Can I talk to your Mama?"

"Sure. Come in please." He held the door open for her and then ran off to get her.

"Elizabeth, what a nice surprise!" She wandered in with Samuel on her hip.

"It's good to see you Penny. I was wondering if I could get you to do some sewing for me?"

"Yes, of course." She put Samuel in his chair, handing him some crackers to keep him busy.

She took out her sewing supplies and started measuring Elizabeth. "Actually, Penny. I don't need anything for myself. Maddie is getting married next summer and I wanted to see if you could make her a new nightgown? Maybe two. Each with a robe."

"Sure, but I'd need to measure her."

"I want it to be a surprise. Could I bring you one of her dresses?"

"Yes, that would work."

"Great! Thank you so much. I'll bring it buy in a couple days."

Next Elizabeth handed Travis her list and told him she would come back after visiting with Abigail.

She walked to the small home where the Hogan's lived.

"Auntie Beth!" Carrie stepped forward and hugged her.

"Hi, Sweetie! How are you?"

"Good. Daddy's taking me fishing."

"Oh, that will be fun."

"Do you think Drew and Will would want to go?"

"I bet they would."

"Yay!" She ran off, leaving Elizabeth standing in their small living room. She sat down as she waited for Abigail.

"Good morning, Elizabeth."

"Morning."

The women had coffee and chatted for the next hour.

"I'm so glad we did this. I've missed you," Elizabeth told her.

"I've missed you as well. Maybe I'll come over for tea one morning, once the kids are in school. Theresa seems to have everything at the restaurant under control."

"Yes, please. Oh, I forgot! Amy had a boy, Logan Jacob."

"Congratulations! That's exciting."

"It is. Hopefully they'll come for Christmas. I miss my grandbabies."

REGINA

Caleb wanted to stay home more than anything, but he was expected to head back to the field test. Swift had told him in no uncertain terms that he was to return the next day or suffer the consequences.

Amy was still keeping him at a distance, not accepting that or the fact he had missed Logan's birth.

"I don't want to go, Ames, don't you understand?"

"I do. When will you be home again?"

"Next weekend."

"So ten days from now?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Please be careful." She turned over and closed her eyes, trying to rest, knowing Logan and the twins would need to eat soon.

He sighed and left the house after kissing her forehead.

As he walked to the livery to get his horse, he dwelled on his choice to become a Mountie. Was it really worth the sacrifices he and his family would need to make? Was it worth having an angry, distant wife and children who knew him but not as well as they could?

He rode his horse to the flower shop downtown and purchased a large bouquet of daisies and spent the money to have them delivered to Amy that day.

As soon as that was arranged, he rode out of town, praying for nothing to happen that would prevent him from getting back to Swift. He hated to think what would await him if he didn't.

A WEEK LATER

Maddie received a letter from Nate. During lunch at school, she sat on the log they had always eaten by and read it.

DEAR MADDIE,

I MADE IT TO CALGARY AND FOUND THE DORMITORY WITH NO PROBLEM. I FOUND MY ROOM WHICH I AM SHARING WITH ANOTHER GUY, SAM. HE SNORES LIKE NOTHING I'VE EVER HEARD BEFORE. I CAN EVEN HEAR HIM THROUGH THE TWO PILLOWS THAT I PUT OVER MY HEAD EVERY NIGHT.

QUICK FACT ABOUT ME THAT YOU MAY WANT TO KNOW FOR THE NEAR FUTURE: I'VE BEEN TOLD I DON'T SNORE.

Maddie laughed. "Good to know," she muttered to herself.

I MISS YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY ABOUT THAT. I THINK ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY. I DREAM ABOUT YOU. I START MY FIRST CLASS TOMORROW AND I'M WORRIED I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING ELSE.

AS LOVELY AND AMAZING AS YOU ARE, MADDIE, I'M FINDING IT FRUSTRATING. I CALLED THE LADY THAT RUNS THE DORMITORY "MADDIE" THIS MORNING.

Maddie smiled and shook her head. "I love you, Nate Carlin," she thought.

LOVE YOU MADDIE, SEE YOU SOON,

ALL MY HEART,

NATE

REGINA

Amy was feeling better. She wasn't as sore as before and Logan was eating every two hours, but she only nursed the twins right before bed.

She gazed at the daisies Caleb had sent, reading his card again as she fed Logan.

AMES,

I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT IF IT CAME DOWN TO A CHOICE OF YOU AND OUR BABIES OR THE MOUNTIES, I WOULD CHOOSE YOU, HANDS DOWN.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,

CALEB

She couldn't let him choose. It wouldn't come down to that. She made up her mind to apologize the moment he returned and to support him any way she could.

When he came home Saturday afternoon, she had dressed, tied her hair back in a braid, and made supper.

He opened the door and immediately walked over to her, pulling her against his chest.

"Caleb, I'm so sorry. I promise you I will try to be more supportive."

"Shhh, don't apologize. I know it's hard when you can't count on me to always be here."

"I love you so much, Caleb." Her eyes filled with tears. He kissed her slowly, showing her he forgave her, even though in his mind, there was nothing to forgive.

Logan cried in his cradle. "I'll get him, babe." Caleb walked off to see what was troubling his son. On the way, the twins saw him pass by their room.

"Dada!" Mason yelled, bouncing up and down as he stood grasping the sides of his crib.

"Hi, bud. I'll be right back." He changed Logan's diaper and then took him in to see his brother and sister.

"Dada!" Mason said again.

"Look bud, baby Logan."

"Buh," he said pointing. When Caleb brought him over, Mason reached out and touched his hand. "Buh."

"Baby. Good boy for being gentle." Meri walked over and stood up to investigate. She touched his face and smiled. "Such a pretty girl, Meri."

"Dada," she said, reaching for him.

Caleb scooped her up and kissed her cheek. "Dada!" Mason said, wanting to be held too.

"I don't have anymore arms, bud. Hang on."

He set Logan on the bed that Lily used and then picked up Mason. "Are you hungry? Mama made us dinner."

He put them both down and watched as they toddled out to see Amy. Then he picked up Logan and followed them.

A few hours later, Caleb sat on the couch with two mugs of hot chocolate, waiting for Amy to join him.

She walked out and sat down, pulling a blanket over her lap. He handed her the mug and smiled.

"What?"

"Meri looks just like you. You are both so beautiful."

"Thanks, but she has your eyes and nose." He took her fingers and brought them to his lips.

"I'm proud of you, Ames. You're so strong."

She stared up at him, his eyes conveying the sincerity of his words. "Thank you." She sipped her drink and watched the fire dancing in the fireplace. "Caleb, you said you needed to tell me something."

"We need to make a decision." She put her drink down and turned toward him. "I talked to Swift about taking time off for Maddie's wedding. He said we can't go if we go home for Christmas. Six weeks off is too much."

"What do you want to do?"

"I think that Maddie would tell me not to pick her wedding, even though she wants me there. I think that I want to be at her wedding."

Amy nodded. "It's not fair that we have to choose."

"No, but I knew that's what he would say. He's predictable."

"So we'll spend our Christmas here."

"Only if that's what we agree to. I want to know what you think."

"I miss home and I miss our families terribly, but we should go to Maddie's wedding."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok, I'll put in for time off. Three weeks at the end of May through early June."

"What will you do when everyone else is gone at Christmas?"

"Not everyone is gone. I'll still have training. Swift never leaves so I'm sure he'll keep me busy."

"He doesn't have family?"

"No. He's not married."

"Maybe invite him over here for Christmas dinner." Caleb raised his eyebrows at her.

"I don't think you know what you're asking. He's not someone that you would want to be around."

"Maybe he's lonely."

"Maybe."

"Ask him, babe. Better yet, tell him I want him here. Don't give him a choice."


	28. Chapter 28 - Worried

It was November and cold. With the cold brought on sickness, with children in particular.

One morning, Travis, who incidentally was part of the school board, stopped by Jack and Elizabeth's home.

"Uncle Travis!"

"Hey Carlie. Can you get your parents for me?"

"Sure." He stepped inside the home, warming his hands by the fire.

"Morning, Travis. What's going on?" Jack wondered.

"I need to see Elizabeth as well."

"She'll be down in a moment." Travis seemed quite concerned about something.

"Morning Elizabeth," he greeted when she joined them, smiling at Kylie who was smiling back at him. "We have an issue that affects all the families in town. It's very serious." Seeing that he had their attention he spoke again. "Have any of your children been in contact with Trey Franklin?"

"Trey? Yeah, he and Drew are good friends, why?"

"Elizabeth, he has scarlet fever." She gasped. "So, needless to say, school will be closed for the foreseeable future. If Drew or anyone gets a sore throat or a rash, take them immediately to the doc."

"Thank you, Travis."

Elizabeth knew scarlet fever could be mild or it had the potential to wipe out many children. She couldn't lose any more babies, she just couldn't.

"Honey?" Jack touched her arm.

"I can't lose them, Jack. I'm so scared."

'We're not losing anyone. I won't let it happen. Was Drew the only one who was around Trey?"

"I'm sure Will was too."

"I'm taking the twins to the doc and then to stay at Mom and Dad's. It will keep everyone safe." She set almost one year old Kylie on the floor and wrapped her self around Jack. "Trust me, babe." She nodded and then kissed him.

A few minutes later, Drew and Will carried their bags downstairs. "Mama! We don't want to go!" Will said loudly, ever the twin's spokesman.

"Did your Dad explain why?"

"Yes, but we're not sick, Trey is."

"Honey, in case you get sick, it would be better for the rest of the kids not to be around you."

"Mama, please." Drew started crying. "I'm scared and if I get sick, I don't want to be by myself." She pulled him close and hugged him.

"Drew, you won't be by yourself. Will is with you, and your Dad, and Papa and Grandma."

"Not you."

"I will visit. Hopefully, in a week or two, everything will be back to normal. I love you."

"Boys, let's go." He carried his own bag downstairs, intending to stay with them. He kissed the rest of the kids and Elizabeth. "Love you."

Elizabeth walked into the kitchen, trying to get control of her emotions.

"Ma?" Maddie walked in and saw her crying. "Are you scared?"

Elizabeth turned and nodded. "Yes."

"Is Trey going to die?"

"I don't know, honey."

"It's a possibility?"

"Scarlet fever can be dangerous, yes. Some kids have it worse than others."

All Elizabeth could think about was baby Hanna and how losing another child would literally break her heart. "Oh my goodness." She bent over the sink, letting her tears overtake her.

"Mama?" Maddie walked over and held her, like she had done for Maddie countless times. "Lets pray."

Maddie held her Mom's hands and they bowed their heads. She asked for strength in getting through whatever might happen and for strength for the Franklin family as well. She asked for comfort and endurance and also expressed her thankfulness for everything that God had provided.

IN TOWN

"How are they, Doc?" Jack asked.

"So far so good. No rashes and their throats and tongues look normal. Temperatures normal as well. I think it was wise to get them into town."

"Ok. Thanks Doc." He felt a weight lift slightly from his shoulders.

"Ok, boys, let's go see Papa and Grandma."

"Can't we go home? I want Mama," Drew said, his eyes filled with tears.

"Not yet, bud. She will come visit you though."

"Doc, we'll come see you in a week to make sure we can go home."

"Ok, Jack. Bye boys."

They walked to the boarding house. Jack watched Drew. He seemed scared but something else too. When they got to their destination, Will went in the kitchen and Jack pulled Drew over to the fireplace and sat on the couch. "Drew, what's going on?"

"I'm scared." His eyes filled with tears again. Drew had always been the most sensitive of the boys, always knowing when others needed comfort, but he didn't cry much himself.

"What are you scared of?"

"I don't want to die. I want Mama!"

Jack picked his eleven year old son up and put him on his lap. "Drew, listen to me." Drew buried his face in Jack's chest. "Are you listening? I'm going to tell you something very important. You are not going to die. I won't let that happen."

"I heard Maddie and Em whispering. Em said she heard about scarlet fever. Kids die from it."

"Kids who are not as strong as you and Will might get sicker than you would."

"Is Trey gonna die?"

"I don't know how sick he is, bud. Its very important that you and Will tell me the moment your throat hurts, Ok? If that happens, I will get the doctor here as fast as I can."

DEAR NATE,

THINGS ARE HARD HERE. ONE OF THE KIDS THAT DREW AND WILL PLAY WITH, CAME DOWN WITH SCARLET FEVER SO THEY CLOSED THE SCHOOL. DAD TOOK DREW AND WILL TO THE BOARDING HOUSE SO IF THEY WERE CONTAGIOUS, THE REST OF US WOULD BE SAFE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN MAMA THE WAY SHE WAS TODAY. SHE WAS SCARED AND CRYING SO HARD, IT WAS AS IF HER HEART WAS BREAKING. I WISH DAD HAD BEEN HERE. I JUST HELD HER AND PRAYED WITH HER, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I COULD REALLY USE A HUG. YOUR HUGS ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I GUESS, I'LL SEE YOU IN ABOUT SIX WEEKS, BUT I NEED YOU NOW.

ALL MY LOVE,

MADDIE

The next day, Maddie and Em watched the kids so Elizabeth could go see the twins. She bundled up to protect herself from the wind, saddled Storm, and rode to town.

She left the horse with Mr. Becker at the livery, and walked to the boarding house.

She walked in the door, removing her hat, scarf, gloves, and coat.

"Mama!" Drew ran over to her and hugged her around the waist. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too. How are you and your brother feeling?"

"Fine. We're not sick."

"That's good."

"Grandma made cookies. Want some?"

"No, thank you. Can you send your Dad in here?"

"I'm here," he said, walking down the stairs.

Drew walked out of the room and Jack walked over to Elizabeth. "Hi, babe."

She walked into his arms, seeking comfort.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Hold me, please. I need you to just hold me." He wrapped his arms around her, letting his cane drop to the floor. She kept tightening her hold on him, so he did the same.

"Honey, the doctor checked them out yesterday. He said they're fine right now."

"Good."

"There's something else, Elizabeth."

She pulled back and looked at his face. "What?"

"There are two more kids that came down with it. Trey's sister and their cousin. I asked the boys and they said they are quite young. They don't come to school yet."

Elizabeth stepped away and stared at the fire. "Is Trey going to recover?"

"I don't know. He's pretty sick right now."

"The moment I heard what the disease was, I panicked. All I could think of was losing Hanna and how badly my heart would break if.. "

"Hey, look at me." He turned her gently and wiped her tears. "We are going to be ok. You have to believe that."

She reached up and kissed him, looking for assurance. She wanted to believe everything would be ok, but there was a nagging doubt. As their kiss continued, she pulled him in deeper, as if she would find the answer within him. He pulled back to catch his breath. "Please, Jack." She needed him.

"Hang on, babe," he said between kisses. "I need to breathe." He placed his hands on her cheeks, and then kissed her forehead. After a moment, he moved his mouth back over hers, feeling her relax and kiss him back.

"Oh, sorry!" Jake apologized when he stepped in the room and walked to the kitchen.

Jack laughed and kissed her quickly. "Are you ok, now?"

"If I say no, will you kiss me again?" The man's lips were magical.

THREE DAYS LATER

"Dad!" Drew moved Jack's shoulder to wake him.

"What Drew?"

"Will says his throat hurts." Jack sat up and dressed in record time and then went to see Will.

"Will? Your throat hurts?"

Will nodded and coughed when his voice came out dry and raspy. "My head too." Jack felt his head and it was slightly warm.

"Drew, you need to stay in my room, away from Will. I don't want you to get sick too. I'm going to get the doc."

On his way downstairs, Jack knocked on Jake and Charlotte's room.

"Jack? Son, what is it?"

"It's Will. His throat and head hurt. I'm getting the doc. Can you please make him some tea?"

"I'll get the doc," Jake said from the bed. "It snowed and it'll be easier if I go."

"Thanks, Dad." Jack sighed.

"He'll be ok. Trey is on the mend and Will is a strong boy." Charlotte kissed his cheek and walked downstairs to make tea.

Jack went back to Will and found Drew sitting next to him. "Drew, you need to go to my room."

"Dad, please! He's my brother and my best friend. I don't want to leave him."

"I don't want you sick, Drew."

"I'll be fine. I was around Trey at the same time he was and I'm not sick. I want to stay."

In the end, Jack let him stay, mostly because he already had been with him the entire time, but also because the boys had a bond and he didn't feel right keeping them apart.

Jake rode to the doctor's home and then made his way to see Elizabeth. She needed to be told.

He knocked and then walked in. "Hi, Papa!"

"Hey, Carlie. Is your Mama up?"

"Yeah. She's feeding Kylie." He nodded and walked up to her bedroom and knocked.

"Come in."

"Beth, it's me."

"Come in, Dad." She was sitting in the rocking chair with a blanket over herself.

"I'm sorry, I know it's early."

"That's ok. What's going on?"

"Will woke up with a sore throat this morning."

She stopped rocking. "Will? Oh no, please no. Dad, how bad?"

"Honey, it's a sore throat right now." He could see she was starting to panic. He walked over and touched her face. "The doc is on his way over to see him. I'll stay with the kids if you want to go too. Bella is outside for you."

"I would like to go. Thank you." He turned a moment so she could adjust her nightgown. "Can you take her while I dress?"

Kylie was asleep so he took her and walked out the door. "Papa!" Jay and Abbie saw him and ran up to him.

"Hi. You need to be quieter, Kylie is asleep."

"Papa, I slept in the boys room by myself," Jay told him. "I wasn't scared." Normally he had the twins, but he had been sleeping by himself.

"I'm proud of you, Jay. You're getting so big."

"I'm almost five!" He held out his hand, showing five fingers. "Mama teached me how to write my name, J.T."

"Did she?"

"Yeah, but my real name is Daddy's name. I don't know how to write that."

"Patience, son. Soon you will know so many words you won't know what to do with all of them."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise." He smiled, sporting his Daddy's dimples too, and knocked on the girls door.

"Me Me. I come in?"

"May I come in?" she responded.

"You are in. I'm out here." Maddie giggled and opened the door.

"Oh Jay. What am I going to do with you?"

"You can make me eggs. And bacon. And milk. Please?"

"Ok, but I think I might tickle you first."

"No! No tickle!" Jake shook his head and smiled. He walked carefully down the stairs with Kylie in his arms and Abbie right behind him.

APARTMENT ABOVE THE BANK

Theresa Jackson sat at her kitchen table sipping her coffee and smiling. Her husband of all of two weeks was still sleeping in bed, looking amazingly adorable.

She couldn't remember ever being this happy. Except maybe the day they married.

It was two weeks before and the weather was perfect. The sky was bright blue, the sun was shining, and red and orange leaves littered the ground. Late fall was her favorite time of year. It was absolutely beautiful and that was why she suggested getting married then.

The ceremony was by the stream, where they spent so many evenings. Frank, Abigail, and Carrie were present, of course, and since Ben didn't have any family, Charlotte and Jake filled in. The pastor from Deer Falls performed the ceremony.

Frank walked her down to the stream, giving her away. Her dress was ivory satin covered in lace, with long sleeves and a short train. She curled her brown hair, letting half of it float down her back, just like Ben preferred.

"Honey? You're up early," Ben said, kissing her soft lips, snapping her out of her daydream.

"Hi." She watched him go make himself a cup of coffee and sit down next to her. She smiled, blushing. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Our wedding day." He winked at her and grabbed her hand.

"It was perfect, Terri. You took my breath away."

"Thank you, sweetie." She got up and started the egg and sausage recipe she had just learned from one of her French books. "Quiche Lorraine" was a big hit at the restaurant, so she thought she'd try it on Ben.

She grabbed the milk, cheese, and eggs from the icebox and started chopping up onion and sausage.

A few moments later, she poured the mixture into her pan and slipped it into the oven.

While she was cooking, Ben had slipped out to their bedroom to dress for work. It was his first day back since their wedding.

"Good grief, husband. You look way too handsome to leave the apartment." She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom. "This will never do. Let me help you pick something more appropriate."

"Oh no, freeze, Mrs. Jackson. I need to be to work shortly. We don't have time for your kind of help."

He tied his tie and smiled at his wife. "You have an hour, Ben. Plus, breakfast won't be ready for about thirty minutes." As she said the words, she kissed his ear, giving him a very good reason to dawdle and be late for work.

THE AVERY HOUSE

"Well, my boy, you seemed to have gone and gotten yourself sick," the doctor mentioned.

Will nodded, a glass thermometer sticking out of his mouth.

"Ok, this is what we'll do." He took the thermometer and read the numbers. 101. "Not horrible. You stay in bed, drink tea and water and the soup your Grandma made you. Your Dad can keep a cool rag on your head and Drew can read to you."

"Tom Sawyer!" Drew said, climbing up next to him. "We are on chapter five."

"I will return after lunch to see how you're doing."

Elizabeth walked in the room. "Ma!" Will said, his voice raspy.

"Hi, baby. How are you feeling?"

"My throat hurts and my head."

"How is he, Doctor?"

"Not too bad right now. He needs to rest and drink lots of fluid and keep his temperature from climbing too much more. How are the rest of the children?"

"They're just fine." She sighed and felt a bit better now that she could see him. She sat down on the bed and he immediately snuggled up to her.

"Can you stay with me, Mama?"

"For a while. I will need to get home after lunch."

"Why?"

"To feed your sister. She still needs me, babe."

"I need you too."

"I know, that's why I'm here. She's much smaller than you and I still need to feed her."

"But…"

"No buts, Will. Now shush. You heard the doctor. You need to rest."

"Yes, ma'am."

Jack followed the doctor downstairs and into the parlor. "Doc? What are the chances that Drew will catch this?"

"Honestly, he could still, but he may not because he's been around Will and Trey and hasn't shown any symptoms yet. We just have to wait and see."

Jack nodded. "We'll come get you if anything changes."

"I'll be back in a few hours anyway."

Jack wandered into the kitchen. "Hey, Ma."

"Hi, Jack." Her sat down next to her at the table. "How's Will?"

"Ok for now. I just hope he doesn't get worse."

"He'll be just fine."

"How do you know?"

Charlotte slipped her hand inside Jack's and put her head on his shoulder. "I've seen this before."

"You have?"

"Yes. My brother passed away from scarlet fever."

"You had a brother?"

"Yes. I was ten and he was five. I got it first and then when he got it, it was terrible. I remember hearing him coughing and moaning. His temperature got so high that it ended up damaging his heart."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Will has a mild case, from what I can tell. He will be fine. I'm telling you because I don't want you to worry too much."

"What was your brother's name, Ma?"

"Jack. I named you after him."


	29. Chapter 29 - Missing you

For the next week, Will gradually grew sicker, developing a rash on his chest and a higher temperature. Drew stayed by his side, sensing that he needed him.

Elizabeth visited as much as she could, but some days she needed to stay home.

The doctor dropped by twice a day and insisted he was going to be fine, but Elizabeth was scared. He slept a lot and he looked so miserable.

This day, she sat next to him, feeling the heat from his body through her clothes.

"Mama," he muttered in his sleep.

"I'm here, baby. Shhh."

He moved up closer to her, his head on her chest.

"Mama," he whimpered. Her eyes filled with tears, her heart hurting because she couldn't help him.

"Dear God," she whispered. "I can't lose him. Please help my baby," she prayed. Her tears poured down her cheeks, dampening his hair which was already wet from sweat.

She stroked his hair, placing a cool rag on his head every few minutes. After awhile, she fell asleep too, out of exhaustion.

AT THE THORNTON RANCH

Kylie was hungry and she only wanted her Mama. She refused to eat bananas or sweet potato or anything she normally did.

"Grandma, can you try?" Em pleaded. "She just won't eat."

Charlotte picked up Kylie, now thoroughly exhausted from crying. She poured some cow's milk into a bottle that the previous toddlers in the family had used and went into the living room by the fire.

"Mama," the little girl whimpered, turning her head away.

"She's not here, love. Try for Grandma." Charlotte put the nipple in Kylie's mouth and miraculously, she wrapped her lips around it and sucked. "Good girl." She watched as she closed her eyes and drank every drop in the bottle, succumbing to sleep. She kept the nipple in her mouth for awhile, making sure she was completely asleep before she removed it.

"Gamma! Me hungry," Abbie yelled, running into the room.

"Abbie Joy, shhh. Kylie is sleeping."

"Kiki cry lots."

"She does, but so did you when you were little."

"Me big?" she asked as she climbed up next to her.

"Bigger than Kiki."

"Yeah." She nodded, her blonde curls bouncing. "Gamma?"

"Yes, Abbie?"

"Me love you!" She stood up and kissed Charlotte's cheek.

"I love you too."

Maddie walked in. "Abbie, are you hungry, sweets?"

"Yeah." She climbed down and walked out with her big sister.

THE BOARDING HOUSE, THAT EVENING

"Mama?" Will whispered. His throat was raw. He touched her face. "Mama?" he whispered louder.

"Will?" Her eyes opened and stared.

"Thirsty," he said.

She sat up and poured him a glass of water. "Drink slow, babe." He took a few sips and sat back, exhausted. She touched his forehead and sighed. "How do you feel, Will?"

"So tired."

"I think your fever is broken."

"What does that mean?"

"You're getting better." He nodded and closed his eyes, falling asleep again.

Elizabeth got up and left the room quietly. "Thank you, God." She looked up and then closed her eyes, extremely thankful for what seemed to be an answered prayer.

She wandered down the stairs to find her husband.

He was in the kitchen talking to Jake and Drew. They looked up as she walked in.

"Elizabeth?" She covered her face and burst into tears, nearly falling to the ground before Jack caught her. "What happened? Is he worse?"

She shook her head and cried into his shoulder. "No….his fever….it broke." Jack sighed and said a quick silent prayer. "I'm so grateful."

He nodded and kissed her forehead.

"Jack, I need to get home. I need to nurse Kylie. It's been hours."

"I'm sure she's fine. Mom probably gave her milk from the cows."

"I know, but I need to go before I leak everywhere." She blushed and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you babe. See you tomorrow?"

She nodded, wishing he could go home too. She missed sleeping next to him every night.

She kissed Drew and Jake goodbye and went to get Bella from the stables.

As Elizabeth walked to the stables, Travis stopped her. "Elizabeth, how's Will?"

"His fever broke a little bit ago."

"Thank goodness."

"Yes. I need to get home for Kylie. I'll talk to you soon, Travis."

"Of course. Here's a telegram and a letter for Maddie. Have a good evening, Elizabeth."

"Thank you." She slipped her mail in her pocket and started walking again.

About twenty minutes later, she rode Bella into the barn and unsaddled her, fed her a bit of oats, and checked on the cows and chickens.

When she finally walked into her cozy house, she knew she needed to eat, feed Kylie, and go to sleep.

Charlotte was in the kitchen with the kids, eating dinner. "Mama!" Kylie bounced in her chair and smiled.

"Hi, sweetie! Mama needs to nurse you." She picked her up and held her, feeding her right at the table while eating her own dinner.

"Elizabeth, how's Will?"

"His fever broke so he's getting better."

"Oh good! I'm so glad." Charlotte's eyes teared up but she kept her composure.

"I'm lonely, Mama." Jay looked up, a sad expression on his face.

"You're lonely? You mean in your room?"

"Yes. Can I sleep on Daddy's pillow?"

"You want to sleep with me? I thought you told me yesterday you were a big boy and you weren't scared."

"I'm still little." Elizabeth smiled at her big "little" boy.

"I guess you are. Yes, you can sleep on Daddy's pillow, Jay."

"Thanks Mama. I'll be good."

"Me seep Mama, too!" Abbie said, not wanting to be left out.

"Why don't all of you sleep in my room?"

So that's what they did. Em and Maddie slept by the fireplace, Carlie slept on the floor next to the bed, and Jay and Abbie slept in the bed, while Kylie was in her crib.

"Mama?"

"J.T. time to sleep."

"Mama, I'm not lonely."

"That's good buddy. Neither am I."

"I miss Daddy."

"Me too. They'll be home soon."

"When?"

"When Will is all better."

"When?"

"Jay, shh."

"Yes, Mama." He was quiet for a moment. "But when?"

Maddie started giggling and then Em joined in, followed closely by Carlie.

"Girls, don't encourage him." Elizabeth said the words but really she was trying to stop herself from giggling too. After a moment, she started laughing but it came out more like a snort.

"Mama piggy!" Abbie said, causing everyone to laugh again.

She didn't bother stopping them. She just counted all her blessings, the six that were in the room with her and the many others that weren't.

A WEEK LATER

Finally, with no new cases of scarlet fever and Will regaining a bit of strength everyday, Jack and the twins were able to return home two weeks before Christmas.

The school board decided to keep the school closed until January, which the children were happy about.

While they waited for Jack and the boys, Maddie drank tea with her mom in the kitchen while the kids slept.

"Mom, I'm getting worried. I haven't heard from Nate in almost three weeks."

"That's a bit strange. Maybe he's busy with school exams."

"I guess. I was used to a weekly letter, but…"

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Elizabeth stood up and rushed out of the room to find her coat. She dug in the pocket and pulled out a telegram and Maddie's letter. She sighed, grateful they were in there.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I got these about a week ago. I was so tired from being with Will all day, I forgot Travis had given them to me."

"It's ok. I'm just glad he wrote. Who's the telegram from?"

She opened the telegram and smiled. "Caleb." Her smile disappeared when she read it, though. "They can't come for Christmas."

"Why not?"

"It doesn't say. Oh, I'm disappointed."

"Me too. I'm sorry, Ma."

Elizabeth looked at Maddie. "Aren't you going to read his letter?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry. I can leave you alone."

"No it's ok, Mom." She gently opened the seal and took out his letter.

DEAR MADDIE,

I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR WILL IS SICK. I HOPE DREW AND THE REST OF YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS STAY HEALTHY. I HOPE YOU ARE WELL.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AT CHRISTMAS. WILL YOU MEET ME AT THE TRAIN? I'LL BE IN TOWN A WEEK BEFORE THE HOLIDAY.

MY EXAMS ARE GOING WELL. I NEED TO STUDY FOR AND TAKE ONE MORE AND THEN I CAN COME HOME TO YOU.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU.

NATE

Maddie sighed and closed the letter.

"You ok, babe?"

"Yeah. I just miss him." She stood up and washed her cup, staring out the window at the now snow covered pond where he proposed. "Perfect day," she whispered.

"Anyone home?" Jack called from the living room.

"Jack, the kids are napping." Elizabeth walked in the room and smiled at him.

"Sorry. I guess I'm just excited to be home. It's been three weeks, you know." She walked over and wrapped her arms around him.

"Three long weeks," she mumbled.

"Gross, are you guys gonna kiss?" Will asked. "Lets go to our room, Drew."

Jack put his hands on her face and gently pulled her lips to his. "It's good to be home."

Maddie walked in. "Sorry. I'm going to go milk the cows and feed the chickens."

"I'll help, Maddie." Jack kissed Elizabeth one more time and then followed Maddie out the door.

"You don't have to help, Dad. You just got home."

"Yes, but you've been doing the boy's chores for weeks. I don't mind helping."

"Ok. Thank you."

They each milked and fed a cow and then fed the horses and chickens without speaking.

"Maddie, you ok?"

"Sure."

"Did you hear from Nate?"

"Yeah, he'll be here in a week."

"Are you excited?"

She smiled. "Yeah. It will be nice to have him here."

"I was thinking, I want to give you and Nate something. A wedding gift."

"That's very sweet, but you don't need to."

"Yes I do. You're my oldest daughter. I'm going to miss you so much and I want to help you out, like I helped Amy and Caleb."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to pay for the materials for the house Nate wants to build."

"Dad, I don't think that's a good idea. I appreciate it, but no."

"Why?"

"Nate feels like he needs to take care of me and show everyone he's capable as a husband by earning the money himself and building our house. I offered to contribute one time and we ended up fighting about it."

"He's stubborn."

"He is," she acknowledged with a grin. "But he's wonderful and he loves me and if it means living in the boarding house for the next five years until he makes enough, then we will do it."

Jack sighed and kissed her forehead. "You amaze me, Bug."

"Why?"

"It's amazing how much you've grown up in the last few months. You are going to be a good wife to him and a blessing."

"I hope so. I'm going to try hard."

A WEEK LATER

Maddie waited, shivering in the wind, for the train to arrive. Finally, the whistle sounded as it turned the corner into town. Her heart pounded and she was ready.

She watched as the train finally stopped, grinding it's breaks.

Nate stepped off the train and smiled, picking her up off the ground as soon as he was close enough. It felt so good to hold her again. He slowly put her down, his arms still around her waist, their foreheads touching.

"Marry me Maddie," he whispered.

"Ok." She kissed the very corner of his mouth, her lips lingering for a few seconds longer than she intended. "I love you," she told him.

"I love you too."

He sighed, took her hand and walked with her to the ranch. On the way, once out of town and away from prying eyes, he gently pushed her up against a tree and kissed her as if he hadn't seen her in a year.

"Oh my goodness," she said, pushing her face into his shoulder, thoroughly overwhelmed. "I didn't know you could kiss like that."

"Me either."

"One hundred and fifty seven," she blurted.

"What?"

"Until we get married. We have one hundred and fifty seven days to go."

"Good grief, that sounds like forever."

"Not when you remember that we'll be together for the rest of our lives." She raised her chin and kissed him softly.

"That sounds better." Forever with the beautiful Maddie Carlin? Yes, it definitely sounded better.

THAT AFTERNOON, THORNTON KITCHEN

"Jack? What are you thinking about?"

Elizabeth came over and sat on his lap. "Now I'm thinking about you." He kissed her and pulled her close.

"What's on your mind, sweetheart? You're so quiet."

"I wanted to pay for materials for Nate and Maddie's house but she turned me down."

"They had a falling out about him paying for everything himself."

"I know. Now I have another idea."

He looked at her, a gleam in his eye and his dimples popping. "You seem to think it's a good one."

"It will keep them happy and me at the same time."

"Ok, well, tell me."

AFTER DINNER

"Nate, I'm going to go take care of the animals. Why don't you keep me company?"

Maddie looked up at her father. "Dad."

"We'll be back soon. Don't worry."

Maddie could tell her Dad had something up his sleeve. She only hoped that whatever it was, wouldn't end up with her and Nate in a fight.

Nate kissed her cheek and followed Jack out to put on their coats.

"Mom, what's going on?"

"I'll let your Dad or Nate tell you. It's his thing."

"Mom, please?"

"Maddie, don't worry." She patted her shoulder and went to start bath water for the little kids.

IN THE BARN

For a little while, Nate wasn't sure why he had asked him to help. Jack just fed the horses and brushed them.

"Nate, I'd like to speak with you."

"Yes, sir."

"You can call me Jack."

"Ok. Jack."

"When Caleb and Amy moved to Regina, Jake and I paid to rent their home for the two years they were there."

"Yes, sir. I mean Jack. Maddie told me. That was very generous."

"Maybe, but it really was just me taking care of my children." Nate nodded. "Maddie and I have always had a strong bond, from the moment I held her after she was born."

"Yes, I know."

"I know that you are going to take care of her. I don't doubt that, because, if I did, you wouldn't be marrying her." Nate nodded again. "Even though that is true, I still feel the strong need to give you both something. You are going to be my son in about five months and I take care of my children."

"Forgive me, but what are you saying?"

"I wanted to pay for the home you want to build for her. Maddie said no. She told me how you feel and I respect that very much. So, what I'm proposing is a compromise. When I was transferred here years ago for my new assignment, there were Elizabeth, myself, and the five oldest. The Mounties provided a one bedroom home just outside town. It was cramped to say the least."

"I can imagine."

"Over the years, others have lived in it and now, I own it. Or I will in a few days when I buy it from Travis."

"Sir, I appreciate what you're trying to do…"

"Nate, let me finish, then you can tell me what you think."

"Sorry."

"I want to fix up that house, adding an extra bedroom and a new roof and some other things. I would love it if you and Maddie would live in it while you save up for your own home."

Nate was silent for a few moments. "Sir, if you could tell Maddie that I had to go and that I'll see her tomorrow." Jack saw the look on his face and in his tear filled eyes. He had either crossed the line or he was happy.

"Nate, hang on. Tell me what's going on." Jack put his hand on Nate's arm.

"I need time."

Nate stood up and walked out, heading toward his home.


	30. Chapter 30 - A gift

Jack headed back to the house, preparing for the onslaught of questions from Maddie.

Maddie was in the living room reading to Jay, Abbie, and Kylie. "Dad? Where's Nate?"

"He asked me to tell you that he had to leave and that he'd see you tomorrow."

"He left without saying goodnight? Dad, what did you talk to him about? Is he angry?"

"Honey, right now, it's between us."

"Not if it affects me."

"Currently it's just a conversation."

They looked up when someone knocked at the door.

Jack opened it. "Hi, Nate."

Maddie looked up at the mention of his name.

"Hello, sir. May I speak with you?"

"Of course." Jack put his coat and gloves on and followed him out onto the porch.

Nate stood, staring out into the darkness, his hands in his pockets. Jack stood next to him, patiently waiting for him to speak.

"Maddie means everything to me. I feel like I've loved her forever. I want to provide for her, but, tonight when you made your offer, at first it made me feel incapable. I want to prove myself, but it felt like you were taking away that chance."

"Nate.."

"Sir, if I may. I need to keep going or I will lose it."

"Yes, of course."

Nate stayed silent for another few moments and then wiped his eyes. "I realize how hard it must be to give her away. I have never been a father, but I know I can't imagine giving someone I love away, especially her. I know, one day when we have a daughter, it will be just as hard and I will struggle just as much as you do." Nate turned and looked at Jack, straight in the eyes. "Jack, I realized when I left here that you believe in me. You trust me with Maddie and I promise you I will never let you down."

"I know you won't."

"I will accept your offer, but I want to see the house, with you and Maddie. Would that be possible?"

"Yes. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Nate offered his hand and Jack shook it. "May I say goodnight to Maddie?"

"Of course. Come in, Nate."

When they walked in, Nate watched Maddie from the doorway. Jay was on one side of her, his head on her arm. Kylie was asleep on her lap and Abbie laid down on the couch. However, what got his attention was the peaceful, happy look on her face as she read quietly to Jay. It was as if he was looking at his future. His beautiful Maddie with children around her, relaxing at home.

"Me Me? I'm sleepy."

"Ok, bud. Why don't you go upstairs to bed?"

"Will you take me?"

"Maddie?" Jack said from the doorway. "Nate wants to speak with you. I'll take Kylie and Jay."

Jack walked over and lifted her from Maddie's lap. "Jay, come on buddy. Time for bed."

Jay reached for Maddie, hugging her tight. "Night Night, Me Me. Love you."

"I love you, to the moon and back."

Nate walked in and sat down, taking her hand in his.

"Where did you go?" she asked quietly, since Abbie was still sleeping on the couch.

"I walked around."

"What's bothering you?"

"Nothing anymore." He kissed her temple. "Tomorrow, your Dad and I want to show you something."

"What?"

"It's a surprise."

"Ok." She placed her palm gently on his cheek and brought her lips to his. "I was worried."

"I'm sorry. That's why I came back. I wanted to say goodnight."

Nate stood up and pulled her into his arms. "I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" She nodded and hugged him back.

"I love you."

He kissed her twice and smiled. "I love you too." She watched him leave, relief settling over her.

"Me Me, kisses?" Abbie said from the couch, a grin on her face.

"I thought you were asleep, Abbie Joy."

"Me seepy. Bedtime?"

"Yes. Let's go." She picked her up and shut off the lamp as she walked by.

THE NEXT DAY

After breakfast, Jack, Maddie, and Nate walked to the little house. "So you two, where are we headed?"

"I told you," Nate said, squeezing her hand. "It's a surprise."

"Mmhmm. You can't tell me now that we are on our way?"

"No. Patience, babe. Soon enough you'll know."

"Babe?"

"It fits you."

"Nate." Her cheeks turned pink and Jack chuckled, remembering when he and Elizabeth were trying out pet names for each other.

"You don't like it?"

"I'm not sure." She loved it but not so much when her father was right there.

When they walked up to the house, Maddie was confused. Jack tried the door and it was unlocked.

He turned back and they were standing, watching. "Are you coming?"

"Why are we going in our old house, Dad?"

"I'll let Nate explain. I'm going to check out the other room." When he left, Nate took her into the kitchen area.

"Your Dad owns this house now, or he will very soon."

"Ok. I don't understand why we are here though."

"He's going to fix it up, add a bedroom."

"Ok."

"He wants to do it for us. He offered to let us stay here until I save enough for our house."

"Ok. You agreed?"

"After awhile, yes."

"Who are you and what have you done with my fiancé?" she teased.

"It's better this way. We won't have to spend money for a room at the boarding house and it's more private. You know, newlyweds and all." He raised his eyebrows, smirking at her.

Instead of answering, she wandered around the kitchen. "Maddie? What do you think?"

"It's fine. Like you said, it's better this way."

He could tell she wasn't saying everything she was feeling. "I'm ok with this, I promise."

"Are you sure? I don't understand why this is any different than me wanting to help save for our new house."

Jack didn't mean to listen, but he wandered into the living room area which at this point was the same room as the kitchen.

"This is a gift. He wants to do something for us."

"Ok."

"Maddie, what?"

"Nothing."

"Aren't you excited?"

"I don't know. I, your soon to be wife, wanted to help with our house, and you fought me on it. My father buys us a house, and you're fine. I don't get it." She walked away, walking into the bedroom, leaving Nate standing with Jack.

"Better go talk to her, Nate." He nodded toward the back of the house.

Nate walked in to the bedroom and found her staring out the window. "Maddie."

She just kept staring. He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey. I hoped you would be happy about having our own house."

When she finally looked at him, she looked hurt. "Having our own house is nice."

"But?"

"I may be overreacting, but it feels like my feelings are taking second place to my father's. I'm going to be your wife, Nate. It shouldn't be that way."

"It isn't that way." He stepped forward and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Baby, I will always take your feelings into consideration before others. I'm so sorry that it doesn't feel that way."

Her heart melted at his use of "Baby". He said it with such love that she couldn't doubt his words.

"Maddie, I said yes for you. I want you to be happy." Tears flowed down her cheek, hurting him deeply. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. "I love you so much. I hope you don't doubt that."

"Will you be happy here, Nate? I don't want to be the reason you are unhappy."

"As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."

"Are you sure?"

"I really made a mess of this, didn't I? Of course I'm sure."

Jack peeked in the doorway. "Not to interrupt, but I wanted to talk to you both about the bedroom I'm building for you."

Maddie looked at Nate who squeezed her hand, asking her. "Ok Dad. Let's talk. I have an idea too."

Nate smiled, loving the spark of happiness he finally saw in her eye. Even though Jack was in the room, he leaned down and kissed her. She smiled and then looked at her dad.

"Ok, well, the doorway to the hall will be off the living room, where your Mom and I slept. Do you remember that, Bug?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"The room I will build will have a fireplace, trust me you'll love that, and two windows on one wall and a good size closet on the other."

"Sounds good, Dad. Can you build us a bathroom? That was my idea."

"Absolutely. I already thought of that. No more outhouse."

REGINA

Caleb wasn't home, but his Christmas present for Amy was about to arrive and he wished he could be there to see her face.

The holiday this year would be Christmas Eve and Christmas and he couldn't wait.

Amy heard a knock at the door, but she was nursing Logan. "Lily?" she called out but she didn't answer. After another knock, she placed a blanket over herself and went to answer the door. "Mom? Dad! Oh my goodness." She opened the door for them to come in. "How are you here? I didn't think I would get to see you."

"Caleb asked us to come."

"Of course he did." She smiled, already planning a big thank you for him when he came home.

"Where are my grandbabies?"

"Logan is right here," she gestured to the blanket. "The twins are sleeping in the nursery. We can go in there if you want."

Amy peeked in the door and smiled. Lily was rocking them and telling them a story.

"Hey, Lily. My parents are here."

Everyone walked in, including shy little Sara, clinging to Kevin's neck.

"Mama!" the twins said, clapping their hands.

"Hi! Papa and Grandma are here." Amy stepped away for a moment to adjust her clothing and then walked back in.

"Lily, this is Maggie, Kevin, and Sara. My parents and my little sister."

"It's so nice to meet you. Amy talks about you all the time."

"She writes about you. You're Rob and Patty's daughter, right?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, ma'am." Mason slid to the floor and Meri followed. They walked over and looked up at their Mom.

"Mama?"

"Hi, babes." Amy kissed both of them and then smiled. "Why don't we go out in the other room? I can make us some lunch."

Lily decided to leave early for her parent's house so that Amy could spend time with her parents.

"When does Caleb come home, Amy?" Kevin asked from his seat at the table.

"He comes home Thursday. He will be home Christmas Eve and Christmas and then he'll go back."

"They only gave him two days?"

"Yes. We chose to take his three weeks off this summer for Maddie's wedding."

Maggie sat at the table, Logan in her arms and Meri and Mason staring at her.

"Good thing is, about nine more months and Caleb will be done at The Academy. Hopefully, we'll be stationed closer to all of you. If not, I don't know what I'll do without Lily. She's such a huge help."

HARRIS TOWN, JACKSON APARTMENT, CHRISTMAS EVE

Ben watched Terry getting dressed. He had insisted that she purchase a new dress because she never bought new things for herself. Growing up with one parent, she had learned to make do with minimal new items and to work hard for what they absolutely needed.

Working hard was what he was accustomed to as well, but now, he had enough money to pamper her a bit.

He smiled from the bed, as he gazed at her.

"What are you smiling at, sweetie?"

"The most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"The things you say, Benjamin."

"It's the truth. You're gorgeous."

She blushed, feeling his love. "Don't you think you should get ready? We need to leave soon."

"I suppose. You distracted me." She shook her head and laughed.

REGINA

Caleb walked in and heard lots of voices. Mason wandered into the living room.

"Dada!" He ran up and attacked his knees.

"Hi, Mason. I missed you!" Caleb picked him up and kissed his cheeks.

"Mason!" Amy called from the kitchen.

"Dada!" he yelled back, letting her know why he was gone.

Amy walked in and smiled. "You're home."

Caleb kissed her hello. "I am."

"Remind me to thank you later for my Christmas present." She patted his rear end and walked away, leaving him anxious for later. He wasn't likely to forget.

Just as they were sitting down for dinner, they heard a knock at the door. Caleb got up, Logan in his arms, and answered it. "Swift. Welcome sir. Please come in."

Swift seemed uncomfortable. He eyed the baby in Caleb's arms with curiosity but a little nervousness as well.

"Everyone, this is Constable Swift. Sir, this is my wife Amy." She stood up and walked over to his side, a welcoming smile on her face.

"Mrs. Thornton." He nodded.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Constable. Merry Christmas." Amy took Logan from Caleb and went back to her seat.

"This is Kevin and Maggie Thomas, Amy's parents, and her little sister, Sara."

"Nice to meet you, Constable," Kevin said.

Caleb retrieved another chair from the living room and pulled it up next to Amy, leaving the chair he had been in for Swift.

"We were just about to say the blessing," Caleb informed him. "If everyone would join hands, I'll begin."

Swift was quiet. Maggie offered her hand and he hesitated but took it. On the other side was Mason. Mason decided that he liked the quiet man and held his arms out. "Up?" Swift looked like he didn't have a clue what to do.

Kevin sensed his hesitation. "Come to Papa, Mason."

Mason pointed at Swift, wanting him. So rather than delay the meal any longer, Swift picked him up and put him on his lap, taking Maggie's hand again.

"Dear Lord…."

HARRIS TOWN, THE HOGAN HOUSE

Theresa sat between Carrie and Ben at the table. The meal was delicious but she didn't feel like eating it. She felt terrible actually. Part way through the meal, her abdomen had started cramping, feeling much like her monthly coming, but worse.

Ben watched her closely. "Terry? Are you ok?"

"I think we should go. I'm not feeling well."

Abigail looked at Theresa. She was clutching her stomach, obviously in pain. "Would you like to lay down?"

"No, I think we'll just head home. I feel like a hot bath might help." When she stood, she almost fell over from the pain. "Oh, Ben!"

He stood, scooping her up in his arms, placing her gently on the couch. "I'm getting the doctor."

"I'll go," Frank said, dashing out the door.

Carrie watched her big sister obviously in pain. "Mama, what's wrong with her?"

Abigail had a feeling, but now wasn't the time to let Carrie know. "I'm not sure, sweetie. Can you get a pillow from your bed for her?"

Ben knelt on the floor next to her, holding her hand. He was scared. He didn't know what was happening, but he couldn't lose another wife.

Theresa touched his face, running her fingers through the hair on his temple.

"Ben, it's ok."

"I can't lose you," he whispered. "Please don't leave me."

"Honey, I'm not leaving you." She leaned forward slightly, forgetting the pain for a moment, and kissed him. "I love you."

A bit later, Frank walked in with the Doctor. Then he took Abigail and Carrie into their bedroom giving Ben and Theresa privacy.

"Mrs. Jackson. How are you feeling now?"


	31. Chapter 31 - Needs and Wants

Ben sat on the side of the bed, holding Theresa's hand as she finally drifted off to sleep. The doctor had given her medicine to help with pain and to help her sleep. It didn't help with the pain in their hearts.

Carrie's bed was small but it would work for one night. Theresa's eyes popped open, pain etched on her face. "What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to us?" she asked, tears resuming.

"You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. I promise you, this was no one's fault."

"Hold me," she pleaded. He crawled over her legs gently and laid behind her, his hand resting on her stomach, where, unbeknownst to them, their child had been, not four hours before.

It killed him to lose a child, but it killed him even more that Theresa was hurting so much. He felt her fingers push between his, squeezing as she mourned.

Frank's own heart broke as he listened to his daughter crying through the door. If he could take away her pain, he would. All he knew to do was pray, so he did, as hard as he could.

He didn't hear Abigail walk up to him. She watched him pray, tears running down his cheeks. She slipped her hand into his and prayed with him, supporting him.

After they finished, she brought him into the living room and hugged him. "Are you ok?"

"No. It hurts me that she's in pain."

Ben walked out a few moments later. "Ben? How are you?" Abigail asked, wiping her eyes.

"Theresa needs some tea. Can you show me where it is?"

"I'll make it and bring it to her when it's ready. I'll make you some as well."

"It's fine. I don't mind doing it."

"Ben, you both are going through something incredibly difficult. I will make you both tea. Maybe it will help you sleep too."

"Thank you." He started to walk away but Frank stopped him.

"Ben, tell her I love her, please. I love her so much." Frank turned and wiped his face again.

"I'll tell her." Ben touched his shoulder and then went back to his wife.

REGINA

Caleb waited for Amy to return from the bathroom and getting her parents settled in the nursery.

She walked in as he was cuddling Logan and getting comfortable on the bed. She removed her robe, revealing a very lacy nightgown, with a slit that ran halfway up her thigh.

She peeked into the twins crib and they were asleep. Then she climbed into bed beside Caleb and reached for Logan. He handed him over and watched as she fed him.

"So…."

"So…..?"

"You told me to remind you to thank you for your Christmas present."

"I did. Thank you." She kissed his forehead and tried not to laugh.

"Very funny, Ames."

"I thought it was." She giggled and returned her attention to Logan. "You know, I think Logan looks more like you than me."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. He just seems to have lighter hair and looks a bit different than Mason and Meri."

"I guess so." He continued to watch as she finished feeding Logan.

She slid out of bed and put him in his cradle and then slipped in next to Caleb again, turning out the lamp.

He turned to her, slipping his fingers along her waist and pulling her close. "Is this my Christmas present?"

"Mmhmm. Do you like it?" He kissed her slowly and nodded.

"Best present ever."

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, HOGAN HOUSE

Theresa got up to use the bathroom and found Frank asleep on the couch. She touched his shoulder and he opened his eyes.

"Honey, are you ok?"

She sat down and shook her head. "No, I'm not." He pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back. "I didn't even know I was pregnant. How can it hurt so much to lose something I didn't know I had?"

"Because for a short period of time, it was your child and you were it's mother."

She sobbed against his shoulder and he cried right along with her. "God made women with a wonderful, strong ability to love."

"I just want it back. Now that it's gone, I feel so alone, so empty."

"You aren't alone, sweetie. You have me, you have Abigail, you have Carrie. And you have Ben. He needs you now, just like you need him."

"Thank you, Dad." She kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too."

She stood slowly, cramping still evident, and walked outside before returning to Ben.

REGINA, NEXT MORNING

Amy stood at the stove in her robe, making breakfast. Caleb watched her for a moment and then walked over, putting his hand on her back. "Morning, love."

"Hi." She turned her head so he could kiss her. He leaned down and covered her lips with his. She could feel his hand moving across her stomach to untie her robe. Then she felt the robe open and his fingers on her skin, making her gasp. "Caleb, my parents are here. We can't do this now." He grinned and kissed her again, his hand still grazing her waist, inching around to her back.

"Good morning." Amy pulled away, turning to tie her robe. "Sorry to interrupt," Kevin said with a smirk.

"Good morning, Kevin," Caleb greeted, as if nothing had happened. Amy blushed a deep red and continued cooking, thoroughly embarrassed.

Caleb went to get the twins and Logan, wanting to be near them as much as possible, knowing he had to leave at the end of the day. Logan was starting to wake up, making noises. Caleb picked him up and changed his diaper. "Hi, buddy. How are you this morning?" Logan smiled up at him. "I'm good too." Meri stood up in the crib she shared with Mason.

"Dada."

"Hey pretty girl. Are you ready to get up?"

She nodded and held her arms out for him to pick her up. He laid Logan on the bed and lifted her out so he could change her diaper too. Pretty soon, all three of them were on the bed, clean and dry. Meri walked over and got under the covers and laid down.

"Are you still tired?"

She pulled the blanket over her head and giggled. "Mason? Where did Meri go? I don't see her!" Mason looked at him like he was crazy and pointed at the lump on the bed. They played "Where's Meri?" for awhile and then decided it was time to eat.

"Mama!" Mason yelled as they walked into the kitchen.

"Hi, sweetheart!" She picked him up and held him on her hip as she served breakfast. Caleb put Meri in her chair and held Logan in the crook of his elbow.

Maggie walked into the room with Sara. "Morning everyone. I heard lots of giggling this morning. I wonder who that was?" She kissed the top of Meri's head.

"Sorry about that. We were finding Meri this morning. She was hiding."

"No problem. It's nice to hear happy noises. Let me take Logan while you eat, Caleb."

"Thanks, Maggie."

As he ate, Caleb watched his children and wife and then he watched his in-laws and Sara. All of them meant the world to him and he was grateful they were there. It also made him miss his Mom and Dad and brothers and sisters so much that he thought his heart was breaking.

Amy touched his arm. "Honey?"

He shook his head and smiled through it, forcing himself to concentrate on what was in front of him, rather than what wasn't. He swiped away the one tear that had escaped and stood up to wash his dish.

HARRIS TOWN, THORNTON HOUSE

Jay climbed up on his parents bed, careful not to wake them up. He liked to sleep in the middle of them, but sometimes Daddy had his arms around Mama so he couldn't fit there. Like now, so Jay laid down in front of Mama and snuggled into her arms. It was so nice and warm there. He knew Mama loved him and he loved her back.

Elizabeth opened her eyes and smiled. She was in the middle of two of her favorite Thornton men. The two Jack's in her life. Five year old Jay was snuggled up against her chest asleep, and Jack was behind her, his arm tightly across her waist, snoring softly in her ear. It was the best way to wake up.

She turned her head and kissed his upper lip. "Morning, babe," she whispered. He smiled and pulled her even closer. She looked down at Jay as he woke up. A miniature version of the man she married, dimples and all. "Hi, Mama," Jay said, his eyes still closed.

"Hi, baby. I love you."

"Moon back, Mama."

"How come you're in my bed and not yours?"

"I wanted you to snuggle. It's warm here."

"It is warm here. Especially stuck between you and Daddy."

Jay giggled and snuggled closer. "Night, Mama."

DOWNSTAIRS

Maddie made breakfast. She took the ham from the night before, eggs, onions, and potatoes and fried them in the skillet. Em stood next to her making biscuits and gravy with bacon.

Carlie set the table and the twins were out milking the cows and feeding the horses and chickens.

Abbie sat in her chair, eating crackers and cheese.

Nate knocked on the door and then walked in, looking forward to Maddie's breakfast. He strolled into the kitchen and smiled.

"Hi, Nate!" Carlie said with a smile.

"Hey, Car."

Maddie turned her head and grinned. "Hey, good morning."

He walked over and kissed her gently. "Morning, beautiful."

"Did you open presents with your family?"

"I did. We got up early." She nodded.

She put the spatula down that she was using and turned to him, hugging his waist. "I'm glad you're here."

He stared in her eyes and smiled. "Next year, just you and me."

Carlie, ever the eavesdropper, said, "You're not spending Christmas with us, Bug?"

"Not next year."

"Why?"

"Because I'll be with Nate at our house."

"Why?"

"Because we'll be married then. I'll be living with him." When she said the words, she felt happy and sad at the same time. "Maybe we can spend Christmas Eve dinner here?"

"Of course," Nate responded. It seemed to be a family tradition. They would figure it out so they could spend time with his family and hers.

"Me Me! I snuggled with Mama!" Jay said, a huge grin on his face.

"You did? I wondered where you were."

"Why are you taking Bug away from us!?" Carlie said, her voice filled with anger as she stared at Nate.

"Carlie!" Maddie scolded. "You know we are getting married. This isn't a surprise. Stop yelling at Nate."

Nate looked at Carlie, acting much younger than her nine years. He sat down and pulled her gently in front of him. "Car, look at me, please?" She had her arms crossed, but she met his eyes. "I love your sister and we are going to get married and live in a different house, but I'm not taking her away. I promise, you will see her all the time."

"It won't be the same."

"No, it won't be, but when we grow up, things don't stay the same. Sometimes they get better." He smiled at her. "Maybe sometimes you can come visit at our house."

"And stay the night?"

"Maybe."

"Me too!" Jay said, his voice filled with hope.

"Yes, Jay. You too."

Carlie stopped frowning and smiled. "I love you, Nate. I'm sorry I was mad."

"I love you back." She hugged him and then finished setting the table.

Maddie started bringing the food to the table as the boys came in with the eggs and milk and her parents and Kylie joined them. Yes, she would miss the loud, big family she knew, but hopefully one day soon, she'd have her own loud, big family.

THE HOGAN HOUSE

Theresa stayed in bed, not because the doctor said to but because the last thing she wanted to do was celebrate Christmas. She couldn't imagine ever enjoying the holiday again, because she'd always be reminded of what she'd lost.

Ben brought in a tray of food. It didn't smell like anything to her. She didn't want to eat. She wanted to sleep.

"Honey, you need to eat."

"No thank you." She closed her eyes, needing him to give up and leave her alone.

"You need your strength, Terry."

"Can you go, please? I need to sleep."

"No, I'm not leaving you. You can be as stubborn as you want or push me away, but I'm never leaving you. I meant that vow when I made it two months ago."

She sighed and knowing he meant the words, gave up and fell asleep with him sitting next to her.

An hour later, she opened her eyes. They were facing each other. She touched his face, running her finger over his lips. His eyes opened and they stared at each other for a few long moments. "I'm sorry, Ben. I'm sorry I lost our baby."

"Theresa, don't ever apologize for that. It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you."

She sat up, not wanting to cry but feeling the inevitable tears filling her eyes. "I want to go home."

"Are you feeling well enough? I don't know if you should walk that far."

"I don't know either. I just want to take a bath and be in my own bed."

He got out of bed and walked over to help her get dressed. "I can dress myself, Ben."

"I'm going to help you and I'm going to take care of you."

She watched him button her dress and help her slip her stockings and shoes on. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you." He looked as if he wanted to kiss her but he hesitated and then left the room.

Frank left to get a wagon from the livery so she wouldn't need to walk.

"You can stay in my room, Theresa. I don't mind," Carrie offered.

"I appreciate that, sweetie, but I need my own bed."

Carrie hugged her tight. "I'm sorry about your baby. That's really sad."

"Thank you, Carrie." She hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.

Abigail walked over and hugged her as well. "I'll come by and see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Abigail, You don't have to."

"Yes, I do. You are my daughter for all intents and purposes. I love you and I want to make sure you are ok."

The mention of Abigail being like her mother brought the tears out again. She nodded. "I love you too." She walked off and put her coat on so she could go home.

THAT EVENING, REGINA

Amy fed Logan and put him in his cradle before slipping out of the room to go on a walk with Caleb. Her parents graciously offered to keep an eye on the kids while they left for a little while.

"Ready?" Her handsome man in uniform asked, turning her insides to mush.

"Yeah." She looked up at him and smiled. She buttoned her coat and pulled her boots on over her stockings.

When they stepped outside, the wind blew but they didn't notice. He took her hand in his and led her down the sidewalk to town, past the Powell house and toward the road that led into the quieter part of the city. "Caleb?"

She stopped walking and tugged gently on his hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just freezing." He unbuttoned his coat and slipped her arms underneath, wrapping his arms around her. "Better?"

"Yeah, but my lips are cold."

"Your lips? I can fix that too." He leaned down and kissed her slowly, tasting the sweet hot chocolate they had after dinner. "Mmm. You taste good." He went in for another kiss, wrapping his coat completely around her body.

"I wish you could stay home tonight. One night isn't enough." She immediately felt guilty for complaining.

"I know. It's hard to be away from you and the babies." Leaving them each time was harder than anything else. They were always on his mind, no matter what he was doing. He dreamed of them often and ached to be with them from the moment he left until he walked back through the door.

"Moments like this one, help me so much," she admitted as their lips met again, drinking each other in for the last bit of time before he left again.

An hour later, he led her back home. They walked in and heard silence. "It's so quiet," she mentioned.

He nodded and kissed her once more. "I'll see you soon." Two weeks this time.

"Love you," she whispered.

"Love you too."

She watched him walk out the door and then shut off the lamp in the living room and kitchen before heading to bed.

A WEEK LATER

With the turn of the new year, came Caleb's departure back to the Academy and the school children of Harris Town returned as well.

Maddie decided to visit Penny after school and speak with her about her wedding dress and a few other things.

She knocked on her door. "Coming!" She opened the door and smiled. "Hi, Maddie. Come in."

"Hi, Penny. Sorry to bother you."

"The last thing you are is a bother." Samuel walked over to her and begged to be picked up.

"Hi, Sam. How are you?"

"Me good."

"I'm glad."

"So, Maddie. Did you come about a wedding dress?"

"Yes, actually. I'm going to wear my mom's wedding dress but it's needs to be let out a bit in certain places. It seems I'm curvier in areas where she was quite thin. Would you be willing to help me?"

"Of course. Bring it by and I'll have you try it on for me."

Maddie nodded and looked down as if she didn't know how to ask the next question.

"Did you want me to make something else for you? Perhaps for a honeymoon?"

Maddie's cheeks burned as she nodded.

"I'd be happy to. What were you thinking?"

"I don't know. Do you have any ideas?"

She grabbed her sketch book and opened to a page in the middle. "Something like this?"

Maddie looked at the page and then back up at Penny. "I don't know. It's awfully short."

Penny smiled and then remembered she was speaking to a very mature but naïve fifteen year old. "I can make it longer if you want, but short isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"I want to be comfortable, Penny. I just…I'm nervous."

"I know. I was too, at first."

"Maybe this can wait."

"Listen, I'll make some more sketches and when you come over with the wedding dress, I'll show you my ideas."

"Ok, thank you."

THE NEXT DAY, JACKSON APARTMENT

Theresa got up and made coffee for herself and Ben. "I'll do it, Terry. You should rest."

"I'm fine, Ben. I need to be at the restaurant by ten."

"You're going to work? I don't…"

"Ben, I'm going crazy staying here when I only think about one thing."

"Honey, I understand but it's only been a week."

"I talked to the doctor and he examined me. He said as long as I don't overdo it, I'll be ok." He looked so worried. "I'm only working a few hours. Please don't worry." She kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand. "I'll see you when you get home after work."

He was worried. He knew he was being overprotective but he couldn't help it. She meant everything. He stepped forward and kissed her. She, however, pulled away abruptly as soon as their lips met.

"I need to get ready." She walked away leaving him confused again. She didn't let him get close. She moved away in bed when he wrapped his arm around her. Their kisses had become virtually non-existent.

He didn't know why, but he was going to find out. She would have to talk to him though.


	32. Chapter 32 - Preparations

APRIL, HARRIS TOWN

Theresa walked to work enjoying the early spring weather.

The last few months were hard after losing their baby, but she was starting to feel better. She wasn't pregnant yet, but she had a feeling it wouldn't take too long.

"Theresa!" Carrie was running toward her.

"Hi, sweetie. Don't you have school today?"

"No, ma'am. It's spring break. We have a whole week off."

"Oh, ok. Well I'm headed to work. Where are you going?"

"To the Thornton's. We are going fishing."

"Who's we?"

"The twins and Carlie and me. See ya!"

"Bye!" She chuckled and kept walking.

ABOVE THE STORE, PENNY AND MIKE'S APARTMENT

"You did a good job, Penny. It fits like a glove." She ran her hands over her mother's wedding dress.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

"I have your nightgown ready. Do you want to see it?"

"Yes, I do." Penny unwrapped the tissue paper and held up the nightgown.

Maddie was pleasantly surprised that she liked it. She had no idea what to have her make or what Nate would like to see her in or what she would look good in. She had seen her mom's lacy nightgowns before and it just didn't feel like her. Now, looking at the navy blue silk gown in front of her, she thought lace might be her after all.

"Would it be too much trouble to add lace somewhere? I'm sorry if it's too hard."

"I can add the same color lace at the bottom hem and at the top here. Does that sound good?"

"Yes. That would be perfect." She imagined herself in it and found herself blushing.

Penny smiled. "Do you think Nate will like it?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Good."

"Penny, I heard that you know about an inn in Deer Falls."

"Yes. My mother Renee Tipple owns it."

"I was hoping Nate and I could stay there on our trip."

"Send her a telegram. I'm sure she'll be happy to have you there."

THE STORE

"Uncle Travis? Can I send a telegram, please?"

"Absolutely Miss Thornton. Or should I say almost Mrs. Carlin?"

"Six more weeks."

"It's coming up fast. I can hardly believe my favorite little Bug is old enough to get married."

He came around and hugged her, tears coming to his eyes.

"Will you dance with me at my reception?"

"Oh, you don't want to dance with old Uncle Travis."

"Yes, I do. Please?"

"Of course, if I can convince Nate to let you go for a few minutes." He kissed her cheek and took a deep breath. "Ok, so the telegram. Where to, Bug?"

"Deer Falls. Renee Tipple at the Deer Falls Inn."

"Ok, what would you like to say?"

"Looking for one room for total of six nights. June 3 through 8. Will pay upon arrival. Nate and Maddie Carlin."

"Ok. Anything thing else?"

"Nope that's all. Any mail for me?"

"Let me look."

Maddie walked out a moment later with a letter from Nate and one from Caleb for her Mom.

As she walked to the boarding house, she thought about Nate. It had been three months since she'd seen him again. She had never missed someone so much.

She sat on the porch swing and opened his letter.

DEAR MADDIE,

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I SHOULD BE IN TOWN.

GO INSIDE, BABE.

LOVE NATE

She got up and went inside. "Nate? Are you here?"

"Looking for me?" He walked in the room with a bouquet of flowers.

"Yes! I missed you!" She took the flowers, set them on the table, and flew into his arms. "I didn't think you were coming until tomorrow. I'm so glad I was wrong."

He sighed and pulled back just enough to find her lips with his. "I missed you too." He kissed her forehead and smiled.

"Thank you for the flowers."

"You're welcome."

"Nate, I tried on my dress. It's perfect."

"You are going to take my breath away."

"How do you know?"

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. So you in a wedding dress, marrying me? I know I won't be able to breathe." She reached up and kissed him.

"Sweet man. Did you buy a suit?" She had told him to buy his suit for the wedding in Calgary because they had a haberdashery there according to her Papa. Then he could bring it home and Penny could alter it.

"I did."

"Let's go see Penny tomorrow."

"Ok." He stared at her. "You look happy."

"Of course I am. You're here."

"So what should we do?"

"Let's go see the house. Dad has done a lot of work."

So they walked out of town to the little house they would soon share. He hardly recognized the place. The addition was on and the whole roof had been replaced. The outhouse was gone and an area for a garden had been dug in the front yard. Jack had also added a porch with a bench to the front.

"Wow, Maddie. How did he do all this?"

"He works on it everyday, but Uncle Travis and Kevin and Brandon have been helping."

They walked in and smiled. "Hi, Dad," Maddie said as they saw the table and chairs that he was sanding.

"Hi, babe. Hi, Nate. What do you both think?"

"It looks great, sir."

"Nate, call me Jack. Sir makes me feel like I'm old."

"Ok, sorry. Jack, this looks amazing. Thank you so much."

"No thanks necessary."

"Did you make this table?"

"I did. What do you think?"

"It's great."

Maddie imagined everything she had started accumulating over the years and where it would go. Recently she had purchased a nice tablecloth for special dinners and the crystal candlestick holders that had been Grandma Grace's would be perfect.

"Maddie?" Nate walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You're quiet."

"I'm just thinking."

"Good things?"

"Yes. I can't wait to marry you and make our home here. I'm so happy." He kissed her cheek and smiled.

When they wandered into the bedroom they saw another Jack Thornton creation. "Dad! How did you have time to make this?" She ran her hands along the headboard and dresser.

"You like it?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. "Daddy, you have done so much for us. We don't need all this."

"Maybe not need but you are my Bug." He shook his head as the tears flowed. "I want to give you everything, honey." He dried his eyes, only to have them fill up again. "I know that it's not my job anymore, but let me do this for you."

It was going to be so hard to leave him when it was time. "I'm not going to stop you if it makes you feel better." She kissed his cheek and smiled. "Thank you."

As she walked out he yelled after her. "The feather bed and bathtub should be here any day." She laughed.

"Feather bed, Maddie?" Nate asked as they walked back outside.

"There is a story behind it."

He grabbed her fingers as they walked. "Tell me."

"Back before my parents were even engaged, they were talking about what they wanted in a house. Mom was mentioning things that she wanted and a feather bed was one of them. Dad made sure that they had one by the time they had their house he built. Then I guess the joke was that they made beautiful babies in the bed so everyone else should have one too. Caleb and Amy now have one, courtesy of my Dad, and apparently we will too."

"What's the big deal about a feather bed?"

"You'll see soon enough. It is like sleeping on a cloud."

"So we will have a big, cloudlike feather bed on which to make beautiful babies of our own?"

"That's the idea."

THE NEXT DAY

After lunch at the restaurant, Maddie took Nate to Penny's after picking up his suit.

"It's nice to see you again, Nate. Maddie talks about you constantly." Maddie blushed and shot her friend a warning look.

"Penny, I think Nate should try on his suit, don't you?"

"Of course. You can use the bedroom on the left." Maddie raised her eyebrows at Penny. "What? There's nothing wrong with your fiancé knowing you talk about him all the time."

"I suppose not."

"He's adorable, Maddie."

"Yes he is. He's wonderful and I love him so much I could cry."

He walked out and they tried not to laugh. His pants were about three inches too short and his jacket arms were too. "Honey, didn't you try this on in the store?"

"No, but the man said just by looking at me he knew what size I wear."

"Well, I'm thinking he didn't." Maddie covered her mouth to stifle a giggle but it didn't work. "Sorry, but I think Drew or Will could wear this. Can you fix it Penny?"

"I'm not sure. Let me do some measurements and then you can go change, Nate."

Later as they walked to the ranch, Maddie thought about his poor suit and giggled.

"Remind me for the future to go with you when you go shopping."

"This isn't my fault."

"I know. I'm sorry I laughed. I'll always remember how my strong, handsome fiancé looked when he tried on his suit for the wedding." She giggled again. "If it's any consolation, I've never seen you look more adorable."

"That doesn't help at all, Maddie." She tried not to smile but she couldn't help it. She pulled him off the road onto a trail. "Where are we going?"

"Over here." When they got to a tree she backed him up against it, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You mad?"

"No. Embarrassed, not mad."

"I have something to tell you." He sighed and put his hands on her waist.

"What's that?"

"I found an inn in Deer Falls for our honeymoon."

"You did?"

"Yeah. Penny's mom, Renee owns it. She said it's beautiful and romantic. I'm waiting to hear back on a confirmation." He nodded. "Does that sound ok to you?"

"I'd be ok staying home, but going away, alone, with my wife, sounds better than ok."

She touched his face with her hand and then tilted her chin up to kiss him. "Forty three days," she mumbled against his lips. She wished it was only three.

THAT EVENING, GIRLS ROOM

Maddie laid awake as Em snored softly in her ear. She was going to miss her sister so much.

She must have sensed her staring because Em opened her eyes. "Hey, why are you awake?"

"I'm just thinking. I'm going to miss this."

"Which part?"

"Sleeping in this bed with you, you snoring in my ear."

"I do NOT snore!"

"Shhh! Well, you certainly are noisy. I'm not going to miss the noisy."

"Me up!" Abbie said from her crib.

"Good job, Em."

"Go back to sleep, Ab."

"Seep you. Pease?"

Em could think of worse things than sleeping with a three year old, so she got out of bed and picked her up, taking her back to bed with her.

"Hi," Abbie whispered to Maddie as she kissed her.

"Hi, Abbie Joy."

She snuggled between her older sisters and fell asleep again. Maddie couldn't wait to start a family with Nate. What a wonderful thing that would be.

JACKSON APARTMENT

Theresa was cooking and setting the table when Ben returned home. "Hi, sweetheart. How was your day?" she asked.

"Same as always, I suppose. How was yours?"

"Just fine. I worked for a few hours and then I visited with Elizabeth and made a stop at the store. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner."

"I love your meatloaf." It was the first full meal she had cooked for him months before and it was delicious.

"I know."

He walked up to her and touched her shoulder. She turned and looked in his eyes. "Terry, I missed you today."

"I missed you too." Honestly, she'd missed him for months.

He stepped forward, gathering her into his strong arms. "I love you, you know that."

She smiled into his shoulder. "Of course I do." She pulled away, slightly, looking at his eyes and he seemed sad. "Is something wrong, Ben?"

"No."

"I can see it in your eyes. Come talk to me." She pulled him by the hand to the couch.

He looked at their fingers, touching, but not intertwined. "It's been three months. I need you Terry. I've been trying to keep my distance because we both needed time to recover, but I'm ready."

"So am I. Ben, I appreciate your kindness and patience, but I've been ready for awhile. You just seemed uninterested so I didn't push."

"Uninterested? That is the furthest thing from the truth." He touched her cheek and stood up, offering his hand. "Dance with me?" He started to hum as he wrapped his arm around her back, holding her as close as he wanted. His other hand held hers securely against his heart.

"I will never be uninterested in you, Terry Jackson."

She smiled as she gazed into the green depths of his eyes. "The feeling is mutual, love."

TWO DAYS LATER, TRAIN DEPOT

"I will be here on June 1st."

"The day before? When are you done with class?"

"May 29th. There isn't a graduation ceremony. I'll get a certificate in the mail. When my class ends, I'm hopping on the train and coming straight home."

She nodded. "I love you, Nate." He kissed her cheek and forehead and then met her lips one more time.

"I love you. See you soon." He walked away and got on the train.

She sighed and then headed to school. She was almost done. She was ready to move forward, to be Maddie Carlin. More than ready.


	33. Chapter 33 - Nothing like Family

It was a little over a week until Nate came home from school and ten days until they got married, so Maddie busied herself setting up the new house.

Em helped of course. "This is a big bed, Maddie."

"Compared to ours? Yes, I suppose it is."

"Wouldn't a small bed be better?"

"Why?"

"Well, you know, staying close and all."

"Em!" Maddie laughed and then blushed. "Honestly, I don't care how big the bed is. I just want to be with him."

They worked at putting the sheets on and smoothing the bedspread over it so it looked perfect. Last, they arranged the pillows, feather pillows of course, and stood back to look. "Looks good," Em admitted.

The white curtains that Maddie had embroidered with tiny blue flowers matched the pillowcases and hung loosely in the windows, blowing in the breeze. She arranged two brand new beeswax candles on the dresser on either side of her copy of Pride and Prejudice that Nate had given her for her birthday a few years before.

"I think I need a rug here, by the fireplace and maybe by the dresser. Don't you think?"

"You could make one."

"No need." Elizabeth walked in with a box, setting it on the bed.

"Hi, Mom. I'm glad you're here."

"Well, I won't stay long."

"Please stay. I want you to be part of this too."

"Are you sure? I don't want to be in the way."

Maddie walked over and hugged her. "You could never be in my way. Having my two best friends with me is all I need."

"I'd love to help."

"What do you have in the box?" Maddie asked, excitement in her voice.

"Take a look."

Maddie pulled out two rag rugs, made from blue and gray material. "These are perfect. You made these?"

"Carlie helped."

"Thank you, Mama." She placed the rugs on the floor where she wanted them.

"You're welcome, love." Elizabeth looked around the room in appreciation. "This looks nice."

"Dad did a wonderful job with this whole house. It's amazing."

"Well, when it comes to his children, especially his daughters, he spares no expense."

Maddie knew that was true. Her father was a wonderful man and his love was always palpable.

They walked into the living room as Charlotte knocked on the open front door.

"Anyone home?"

"Hi, Grandma. Come in!"

"Hey, sweetie. I brought you a few things."

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you."

Jake walked in with two mirrors. "Charlotte, where do these go?"

"Bathroom and then above the dresser in the bedroom."

Jake walked past, kissing Maddie as he walked by.

"Thanks, Papa."

"Anything for you, sweetheart."

Uncle Travis was next, dropping off a vanity that Maddie certainly didn't need, but was grateful to have. Leesa, Benjamin, and Livy walked in with new towels and linens for the bathroom and bedroom.

Maddie was overwhelmed. She had not expected anyone to give her and Nate such an abundance of things.

Soon, before the day was over, the little house was set up and she couldn't think of another thing she would need, except Nate.

Before Elizabeth left, she brought Maddie into the bedroom. "Sweetie, there is something else in that box for you."

"Mom, this is so much. You didn't need to get me anything else."

"I think that you and Nate are going to have a long and happy life together. This will help get you started on the right foot."

Maddie unwrapped the tissue paper and smiled. "Mom. These are beautiful."

Two lovely nightgowns with matching robes. She blushed, thinking of her future husband's reaction to the length and style of them. "You like them?"

"Yes, I do. Very much." She hugged her Mom and folded them up, wrapping them back in the tissue paper. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, sweetheart." When she didn't say anything, Elizabeth knew what was happening in her daughter's mind. "You're nervous?"

"Yes, I guess, a bit."

"I was too. You need to just relax and let things happen. Remember how much you love him and how much the two of you have been through to get to this point. The first time is always the scariest, not knowing what to expect. After that, it's better."

"Relax and let things happen. Ok, I'll try."

Elizabeth hugged her. "Trust me, he'll be nervous too, but you'll know what to do when it's time."

A FEW DAYS LATER

A week before the wedding, the train brought lots of visitors.

Jack and Jake met the train with a wagon to transport the visitors and their luggage.

"Lee Coulter!" Jack bellowed shaking his hand and hugging his best friend as he exited the first class compartment.

"Jack, my friend. I've missed you. How are you holding up?"

"Doing well. Weddings are stressful." Lee chuckled.

"Especially for the father of the bride?"

"Jack!"

"Rosie!" He met her next for a hug. "Where are Lee and Max?"

"As always, running behind." She nodded at the car where Lee, now sixteen, and Max, fourteen years old, appeared.

They were nice looking young men. Ones Jack hoped Em would avoid because the last thing he needed was to worry about another daughter getting married right then.

The next first class compartment carried Tom and Julie with their three daughters, Sophie, Olive, and Pearl. "Hey, big brother!"

"Tom, good to see you." Jack hugged him and kissed Julie's cheek. "How are you, Julie?"

"I'm great. Who doesn't love a wedding?"

"Very true. I'm not crazy about giving away my daughter, but I can't complain about Nate. He's a good man and he loves her."

Jake and Lee loaded everyone's luggage into the wagon. "The boarding house is just down the street, everyone. Just follow Dad in the wagon."

"We have to walk?" Rosie asked.

"Really, Rosie?" Lee questioned. "It's a few feet. What's wrong with walking?"

"Nothing, Lee. I didn't exactly wear walking shoes."

"Do you own walking shoes?"

Jack shook his head, and for the ten thousandth time, was grateful for Elizabeth.

THE THORNTON RANCH

A while later, Elizabeth heard a knock on the door and then Carlie squealed.

"Mama, look who's here!" She ran in the living room with Olive, Sophie, and Pearl behind her.

"Hi, girls! Look how big you are." She kissed each of them.

"Hi, Auntie Beth."

"Mama, we're going to my room to play."

"Ok, baby." She looked around the corner. "Julie Thornton. I missed you so much." The sisters hugged and cried, grateful to be back together again.

"This is a beautiful ranch, Elizabeth."

"Thank you. It's home."

"Mama!" Abbie ran in with Kylie right behind her.

"Hi, Abbie. What's wrong?"

"I play in room with Kiki. Car say go!"

Elizabeth smiled at her daughters anger. She was very dramatic for a three year old. "Why don't you and Kiki play with the blocks right here?"

After a moment of pouting, she said, "Ok." Elizabeth smiled as she walked over and sat down, explaining to her sister what they were going to build.

"Elizabeth, they are so adorable."

"I think so too. Wait until you see, Jay. That boy has always been a pleasure, but he is amazing."

"Where is he?"

"With Em and Maddie at the little house. The twins are fishing with Carrie Hogan."

"How do you keep track of all of them?"

"I'm not sure. It certainly helps to have Maddie and Em."

DINNER, AT THE THORNTON RANCH

The Coulter family and Tom and Julie came for dinner. Jack had to bring out a second table, putting it partially in the kitchen and partially in the living room. Then he had to bring in the benches from the porch and the pond to have seats for everyone.

As predicted, Jack noticed Lee and Max paying attention to Em. He said a quick prayer for patience.

While dinner was cooking, the women went up to see Maddie's dress which hung in Elizabeth's closet.

"Oh, Maddie! You will look beautiful in that dress."

"Thank you, Aunt Julie."

"Mama!" Jay said walking in the room.

"Yes, Jay."

"I want my own room."

"Why, buddy? I thought you liked sharing with your brothers."

"Not anymore. They're mean."

"What happened this time?"

"They locked me out! It's my room too. My stuff is in there."

"Excuse me ladies."

Elizabeth walked down the hall and knocked on the door. "Will, Drew, unlock the door please."

Will opened the door. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Why won't you let Jay in?"

"Mom, he just gets in our things. He always wants to do what we do."

"What's wrong with that?"

"He gets in the way."

She looked down at Jay, tears rolling down his face. She picked him up and held him. "You and I are going to talk later about this, Will. Apologize to him."

"I'm sorry, Jay."

"Think of a solution, Will. You are old enough to be better behaved than this."

"Yes, Ma."

She set Jay down and took his hand. "You can stay with me, buddy."

"I want Me Me."

"Ok, you can stay with her."

Elizabeth walked in to hear Rosie talking to Maddie very candidly about the wedding night.

"Rosemary, how about you let me worry about that conversation?"

"It's ok, Ma. I think you've done a good job."

"I was only telling her basic stuff."

"Thank you Rosemary, but it's my job."

"Ok, sorry." Rosemary left the room, seemingly a bit put out that Elizabeth stopped her.

THAT EVENING, JACK AND ELIZABETH'S ROOM

Elizabeth fed Kylie in the rocking chair. "Should we move him to the empty bedroom or let the twins come up with a solution? Jack, you should have seen his face. He was hurting."

"It's not fair to him to keep him in there, but the twins need to be more patient. They don't see how much it's hurting Jay."

"What do we do?"

"I'll talk to the twins. I say we wait to finalize anything until after the wedding." She nodded, watching as he got up, dressed, and left the room.

BOYS ROOM

Jack knocked and walked in. Jay was playing with his train in the corner, so Jack sat down on his bed and faced the bed Will was sitting on. "Drew, come here a second, please." Drew closed his book and sat on Will's bed. "I heard you locked Jay out of the room earlier."

"Yes, sir."

"Explain to me why you think it's fair to do that to your little brother when this is his room too."

"We already explained why," Will said quietly.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

"Start over. Why did you lock him out?"

"He's always getting in our things."

"I am not!" Jay said running over to them. "I didn't touch anything, Will." Jack grabbed him, making him sit on his bed. "I didn't Dad."

"Then why were my books that I left on my table moved, and why was my dresser drawer open?"

"I don't know. It wasn't me!"

"The books were me," Drew confessed. I thought one of them was mine. Mom opened your drawer to put clean clothes away and then got interrupted."

Jack shook his head at his older boys.

"Two things, boys. "One, I think you both owe someone an apology. Two, you are going to be twelve years old in a couple months. Remember that he is only five."

"And a half!" Jay said emphatically.

"Sorry, bud. Five and a half. He needs your patience."

Jack walked back to his room and locked the door.

Elizabeth came out of the closet in a short, peach colored nightgown. "Nice nightgown, babe."

"Thanks. I had Penny make it when she made Maddie's."

"She made a nightgown for Maddie?"

"Two actually."

"Ok, let's change the subject. I don't want to think about my daughter in a nightgown that Nate will see."

"Relax, dear. They'll be married."

"That doesn't help. She's still my Bug."

"Am I mistaken, Jack, or did you purchase a feather bed for them?"

"Yes, so?"

"So, what do you think that bed will be used for?"

"Sleep! Only sleep. Good grief. Change the subject." He groaned and buried his face in his pillow.

"I guess I shouldn't tell you what I walked in on Rosie discussing with her?"

"Why in the world was she speaking to my daughter about that?"

"I'm not sure, but I told her I would take care of it. I think she's mad now."

"Have fun having that discussion with Maddie."

"I already had it. I think it went well."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Is she ok?"

"Yep. I told her I was nervous too but to relax and let things happen."

Jack let out another groan and covered his head with his pillow. Elizabeth just laughed.

"Relax and let things happen, Elizabeth?"

"What? I think it's great advice."

He moved over closer to her, slipping his fingers around her waist. "Are you relaxed now, babe?"

"Completely."

"So we should just let things happen?" She nodded, giggling as he kissed her deeply.

"See, good advice."

THE BOARDING HOUSE, TOM AND JULIE'S ROOM

Tom groaned as he tried to get comfortable on the floor. His wife had graciously given him a pillow, but that didn't make the floor less hard.

"I'm going to go see if Mom has another room. I'm not sleeping on this floor for a week."

"Tom, you agreed we wouldn't tell anyone this week. Charlotte is just going to try to fix things."

"Well then, let me sleep on the bed."

"Not a chance!"

"Julie, you are being unreasonable as usual. Those are your choices. Bed or different room."

"Fine, get up here, but don't touch me."


	34. Chapter 34 - Affection

Julie woke up with Tom's arms around her. It wasn't entirely unpleasant. They hadn't slept in the same bed in almost four years but if she was honest, she missed waking up this way.

"Tom! Wake up." He groaned and pulled her closer. "Tom!"

"Jules, you are so loud. I'm trying to sleep."

"Let me up, please." She moved his arm but he moved it back. "Tom, what are you doing?"

"I'm holding my wife. Is that a crime?"

"In our house it is."

"This isn't our house."

She rolled over and looked at him. "Tom Thornton! You make me so mad!"

"I know. You used to like that about me."

"Yeah, well. Things change."

"Why? Why did it change? I still love you. Did you stop loving me, Julie?"

She moved his arm and sat up quickly. "It's too late."

"Julie."

"I'm going to get the girls up."

THORNTON HOUSE

Elizabeth smiled as she sipped her coffee. "You seem happy this morning," Jack mentioned as he walked in the room.

She grabbed his shirt as he stepped close. "I think you might know why." He put his hands on the counter on either side of her.

"I might." He grinned, his dimples set deep in his handsome face.

"Oh good grief." She put her arms around his waist.

"What?"

"You know you make it very hard to resist you when you do that." She kissed him, long and slow.

"Mmm. I should do that more often then." He slipped his hand inside her robe.

"Um, Jack. There are children in this house. Be careful."

"Oh, I am." He wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned in to kiss her neck.

"They could come in at any time, babe." His lips met hers again, silencing her.

"Good morning, Mom, Dad." Maddie walked in, making Elizabeth jump.

"Morning, Honey. What are your plans for today?" She smirked, tied her robe, and sipped her coffee.

"I am going to the Carlins. Dee invited me for breakfast."

"Oh, that's nice. Have a good time."

"I will. Oh, carry on." She grinned and walked out.

Jack walked back over. "So…."

"Not a good idea." She put her hand on his chest.

"I think it's a perfect idea, Mrs. Thornton."

"Of course you do, however, seven children are about to make their way down here any moment and I don't think them seeing us…."

"Kissing?" He kissed her gently.

"Kissing….is what they should be seeing."

"Fine. Later?"

"Definitely later." He snuck one more kiss, pretty much guaranteeing she wouldn't be thinking of anything else the entire day, and walked out.

THE CARLIN HOUSE

Maddie knocked on the door and waited.

The door opened about an inch and all she could see was an eye. "Hi, there," she greeted with a smile.

"Hi," the voice of the little person who the eye belonged to, said.

"Evie? Who's at the door?"

"Maddie, Mama."

"Well, are you going to let her in?"

"Come in, please," Evie said, very politely.

"Thank you, Evie."

"Hi, Maddie. Come on in. Breakfast is ready. Pancakes and sausage?"

"Sounds great. Are you sure you don't need my help?"

"Of course. You're our guest. Just have a seat there. Brandon should be down soon."

The rest of the morning went well. Eventually Brandon went out to work, leaving Maddie and Dee with the children.

"Is there anything you need help with for the wedding?" Dee asked.

"I think everything is done. I can hardly believe it. It felt like it took forever to get here."

"I bet it did."

Dee's eyes filled with tears and she stood, wiping her eyes on her apron. "Dee? Are you ok?"

"Yes. I'm just missing Nate, I guess."

"Me too."

"I'm having a hard time thinking of him as someone's husband, instead of my five year old son who gave the best hugs and kisses."

"If it makes you feel any better, he still does."

Dee laughed and Maddie giggled, her cheeks turning red. "Maddie, he's a good man. I'm glad he found a good woman."

"Thank you." Maddie hugged her and then stepped back. "You know, a good man is a reflection on how he was raised. You and Brandon did a good job, teaching him how to love and be kind and work hard. I want to thank you for that. Without him, I'd be lost."

THE THORNTON RANCH

Julie and the girls made their way to Elizabeth's house, ready to make cookies and have fun with their cousins.

The girls ran upstairs and Julie followed. She knocked on Elizabeth's and Jack's bedroom door.

"Come in," Elizabeth called.

"Hey sister."

"Hi, Julie. I'm almost ready."

"Getting a late start?"

"No, not really. This is pretty much typical." Elizabeth finished making the bed and then disappeared inside the closet.

Kylie stood up in her crib. "Hi," she said wiggling her fingers and grinning.

"Hi, sweetie." Julie walked over and picked her up, taking in her sweet baby smell. She wanted another baby so badly but had given up on that a long time before. The unwanted tears of frustration made their way down her cheeks. Kylie noticed and took her tiny index finger and touched a tear. Then she kissed her auntie, making the tears come faster.

"Julie? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she insisted, wiping her cheeks.

"Tears from you don't mean nothing. You can tell me." Elizabeth sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to her. "Come here."

Julie sat down, snuggling her sweet niece, debating on telling her sister her problems or how much to divulge.

"I want another baby."

"Oh, well, just give it time. After Carlie I thought I was done. Then six years later, Abbie arrived and then this one. How old is Pearl?"

"Four, but it doesn't matter."

"Sure it matters. Have you talked to Tom?"

"No."

"Well, talk to him."

"It won't matter, Elizabeth."

"Sure it will."

"No! It won't. Tom and I are not together. We haven't been together for almost four years. Not in any sense of the word."

"What happened Julie?"

"After Pearl, he never touched me again. After a while, I stopped wanting him to. Gradually, we slipped away from each other. Now, we are so far apart it's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible."

"Yes it is but it's easy for you say that. You and Jack are as close to perfect as I've ever seen. Obviously your husband wants you. Mine lost interest a long time ago."

She stood up, placing Kylie on the floor. "Julie have you tried? Have you tried to get him back? If Tom is anything like his brother, it won't take much to get his attention."

"It's too late."

"Julie, do you want him back?"

"I don't know anymore."

"Think about it."

So she thought for the rest of the day. Somewhere deep down the yearning for her husband's love existed, but she had spent so much time denying it, she didn't know how to bring it back to the surface.

When Tom came back to the boarding house that evening, she watched him. She watched him with his daughters. She watched him with his mother and Jake. When he would smile, she reacted. Her stomach felt fluttery. It had been so long since she'd noticed or even looked at him.

When he came to their room that night, she watched him get undressed and decided they needed to make a change. He grabbed a pillow, ready to sleep on the floor.

"Tom, sleep with me. The floor is hard."

He hesitated but then sat on the floor. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Tom, please."

He looked at his beautiful auburn haired wife and decided it wouldn't be so bad if they woke up wrapped around each other again. "Ok."

He got in bed and laid down. To his surprise, she took her robe off and slipped in close to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Good night."

Her lips were maybe an inch from his. If he thought she would let him, he'd kiss her and that would be that. Instead, because he knew she would pull away, he just closed his eyes, trying to forget how good she smelled, and probably tasted.

Julie knew she had gotten his attention at least. The look of surprise on his face when she touched him was good. She decided to take it slow, being the one to initiate things, and make him want more. The next night, she would give him a quick kiss. Wouldn't he be surprised?

THORNTON HOUSE, THE NEXT MORNING

"Jack?"

"Hmm?" She felt bad waking him up, but she needed reassurance.

"Wake up," she whispered.

"Ok." He opened his eyes, trying to focus.

"Do you love me?"

"What? Of course I do, silly woman." He kissed her nose.

"Promise?"

"Elizabeth, what's going on?"

"I don't want to lose you. We've been married almost seventeen years and I don't want things to ever change."

"Look at me, Elizabeth." Her eyes filled with tears when she looked at him. Her heart would literally break if they drifted apart. "You will never, never lose me."

She moved against him and kissed him with as much feeling as she could, her tears running down her face. "Honey, why are you upset?"

"Just hold me, Jack. I need you."

He pulled her close and held her. She felt relief. She never questioned his love before. She knew how deep it was, but the thing with Julie had her scared.

"Elizabeth, I love you so much. I don't know how to make you believe it."

"I know, Jack. I'm just scared. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? If I haven't been clear enough in how I feel, that's my fault, not yours."

"You have. I'm just being silly."

He looked in her beautiful blue eyes. "It isn't silly if that's how you feel."

"Jack, I don't doubt your love. I never have. Julie told me about her and Tom and I overreacted."

"What about them?"

"They aren't together. Haven't been since Pearl was born."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Jack they've been married for a long time."

"Yes, but they aren't us."

"I know, but if it can happen to them…"

"No, not us. I'm not saying marriage is easy, but if you communicate and rely on each other, you stay close." He saw her eyes fill with tears again. "Tonight, babe. I'm taking you out to dinner."

"The kids.."

"Maddie will take care of them for two hours."

TRAIN DEPOT

Jack and Kevin met Caleb and Amy at the depot.

Jack smiled when he saw the young family. Caleb held Logan and carried a suitcase in his hand. Amy led Mason and Meri, each of them holding a finger.

"Caleb, Amy!"

"Hi, Dad." He set his suitcase down and hugged Jack. "It's good to see you."

"It's been way too long, son."

"I know. I wish we could have come for Christmas, but we wanted to see Maddie get married."

"I didn't tell her you were coming. This is going to be a good surprise." Jack smiled and took Logan from Caleb.

"Well, Logan, I'm Papa Jack. You look just like your father." He kissed his cheek and sighed. "Your Mom is going to love him."

"I know. Let's go see her."

THE THORNTON RANCH

Maddie was sitting on the porch enjoying the breezes when the wagon pulled up with her brother in it.

"Caleb!" She ran off the porch and straight into her brother's arms. "You're here? I missed you so much!" The tears poured down her cheeks, dampening his shirt.

"Of course I am. There was no way I was going to miss my kid sister getting married." He held her for a few moments and looked at her. "Where's that fiancé of yours? I think I need to have a man to man talk with him."

"You do not, Caleb Thornton!"

"Where is he? I need to chat with him and find out why he didn't ask me if he could marry you."

"He will be here in two days. You are not going to have a chat with him because I will be with him every second just to make sure you don't."

"Caleb, stop pestering your sister and give me a hug!" Elizabeth said as she stepped down of the porch.

"Hi, Ma!"

"Some things never change, do they?"

"No, but she knows I was mostly kidding."

"It's the "mostly" I'm worried about," Maddie admitted.

Elizabeth shook her head and then looked over at her grandbabies. "Oh my goodness! Look at them. They are so big." She kissed their round cheeks, picking the twins up. "Grandma loves you, babies. So much."

Amy walked over with Logan. "Mom, this is Logan."

Elizabeth smiled and gazed at the blue eyes and light brown hair, resembling Caleb. "He's such a handsome boy." She leaned between the twins and kissed him and then Amy. "I'm glad you're all here."

LATER THAT NIGHT

Jack waited downstairs for Elizabeth to get ready for their date.

She slipped her dress on, but needed help with the buttons. She stuck her head out in the hall. "Em?"

"Yes, Ma?"

"Can you help me, please?" Em walked in. "Can you get my buttons? I can't reach."

"Sure, Ma. Where are you and Dad headed?"

"I'm assuming the restaurant but he hasn't told me."

Em sat down on the bed when she finished. "I have something to tell you."

"You like Lee?"

"That's not it. Nice guess."

"Thanks. Ok, tell me."

"I want to be a teacher." Elizabeth sat down and looked at her almost fifteen year old daughter. She certainly had changed in the last two years.

"You do?"

"Yes. I have been helping Miss Peters with the smaller kids and I really enjoy it. I think I would be good at it."

"You would. I've watched you with your brothers and sisters. You have certainly grown up a lot."

"I just want to be good at something."

"Honey, you are good at so many things. I am very proud of you."

"Thanks, Ma." She laid down on the bed. "Lee is cute, though."

"Yes he is, dear."

A WHILE LATER

Jack led Elizabeth behind the house and through the field.

"I thought we were going out to dinner, babe."

"Well, Mrs. Thornton, as you can see, we are out. Also, if you look toward the pond, you will see dinner."

She smiled at the sight before her. Jack had set up a picnic dinner with lanterns lighting the area. He had also set up the victrola. "Jack, it's lovely."

He smiled, squeezing her hand. "I hoped you would like it."

He helped her sit down and then joined her, handing her an envelope.

She smiled, opening the envelope.

DEAR ELIZABETH,

AS I WRITE THIS, I AM WATCHING OUR CHILDREN PLAY IN THE YARD. YOU AND OUR BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL SONS AND DAUGHTERS FILL MY HEART. YOUR KINDNESS AND GENUINE LOVE FOR PEOPLE IS WHAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, AND OUR BABIES, ALL NINE OF THEM, HAVE THOSE QUALITIES AS WELL.

THANK YOU FOR MARRYING ME AND FOR STICKING WITH ME FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS. THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME AND BELIEVING IN ME WHEN I COULDN'T BELIEVE IN MY SELF.

She stopped reading to grab his hand.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND MOST OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME YOUR HEART AND ACCEPTING MINE.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I COULD EVER EXPRESS.

YOUR HUSBAND,

JACK

P.S. WILL YOU MARRY ME? AGAIN?

She looked up at him, questioning.

"Say yes, Mama!" Jay said, jumping up and down.

Elizabeth stood up, helping Jack to his feet.

Their whole family, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, Lee and Rosie, and of course, Frank and Abigail stood waiting for her answer.

"Yes, of course I will." Jack wrapped his arms around her and kissed her and everyone cheered. "I can't believe you pulled this off without a single one of them, especially Carlie, telling me."

"Hey! I'm a good secret keeper," Carlie said in protest. All of her siblings groaned. "I am!"

Frank walked forward. "Are we ready?"

"For what?" Elizabeth wondered.

"To get married," Jack told her.

"Oh! Now?"

"Yes! Why do you think everyone is here, babe?"

Maddie felt arms wrap around her waist. She turned and squealed, getting everyone's attention. "Nate! How are you here? School isn't over yet."

"It's over today, but I finished early."

"I'm so glad. My parents are getting married again, right now."

"Good timing, son," Jack told him, shaking his hand.

"Hi, Jack. I'm glad I made it in time."

"Me too."

"Nate, you knew?"

"I'll explain later."

Everyone gathered around the couple as witnesses, excited to be celebrating their love for each other.

Frank began, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here tonight, to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman, in holy matrimony."

Jack took Elizabeth's hands in his, stepping closer.

"For as long as I've known them, Jack and Elizabeth's love for each other has been a example for others to follow. They truly care about each other, showing patience and kindness in everything they do.

Jack told me that communication is key to their marriage. No, they aren't perfect, and yes, they have forgotten on occasion to communicate, but they are obviously doing something right."

Maddie felt Nate's arms tighten around her middle. "I love you, Maddie," he whispered in her ear.

Frank continued, "As we all watch the two of them renew their wedding vows tonight that they originally said seventeen years ago, remember the meaning of the words. Apply them to your relationships. Follow their example." He paused for a moment. "Jack, repeat after me…."


	35. Chapter 35 - Nerves

Caleb walked over to Maddie and Nate who were dancing to the music from the victrola.

"Hi, you two. Guess we will be celebrating another wedding in a few days." Caleb held out his hand.

"Hi, Caleb. Good to see you. Who do you have here?" Nate shook his hand.

"This is Logan. He is just about ready to go to sleep, right, buddy?"

"Dada," he whimpered, laying his head on his Daddy's shoulder.

"I should probably get him back to the house. I'd like to talk to you at some point soon, Nate."

"Caleb, you don't need to do that," Maddie said, a pleading tone to her voice.

"Sure, I do. Night Maddie." He kissed her cheek and walked off, leaving Maddie worried.

Nate wrapped his arms around Maddie, resuming their dance. "So I heard your graduation is tomorrow," he mentioned.

"It is."

"I'll be there."

"You don't need to come. It isn't a big deal, Nate."

"My very soon to be wife is graduating. Of course I'll be there. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you." She leaned her head against his shoulder, listening to his heartbeat. It suddenly hit her that she'd be listening to that heartbeat for the rest of their lives. "Nate?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." He leaned down and kissed her gently.

"I love you too."

Julie stood, leaning against a tree, watching everyone dancing. "Julie? Will you dance with me?"

"Tom, I don't really feel like it."

"Please? I promise not to bite."

She fought the urge to smile, slipping her hand into his. "One dance."

He took her hand and pulled her close, his cheek touching hers. "I love you, Julie Thornton." He felt her tense up, then relax, and then start shaking. "Honey?" He pulled back slightly. "What's wrong?"

"I think I should go to our room. I don't feel like dancing anymore." He let go and watched her walk off to say goodbye to Jack and Elizabeth. Then she and the girls walked past, leaving him standing alone.

There was a pause in the music while someone changed the record. Em held a sleeping Kylie while keeping an eye on Abbie and Jay. Her back was tired so she sat down on the bench by the water.

"May I join you?"

She looked up and found Lee standing there, blonde and adorable. "Of course. It's kind of boring on this side of the dance floor, though."

"That's a matter of opinion." He sat down next to her, but left an acceptable distance between them.

"Are you having fun tonight, Lee?"

"I suppose, but I'm not really a dancer."

"Em, me seepy," Abbie told her, climbing up between her and Lee, laying her head on Em's lap.

"I should take them in to bed." She didn't know how though, seeing as how Abbie had fallen asleep already and she still had Kylie.

"I'll help you." Before she could answer, Lee scooped up Abbie and stood.

"Jay, let's go get ready for bed, bud."

He walked with them, no complaints.

Jack watched as his next oldest walked away, a baby in her arms, next to a boy that could essentially take her away.

"Jack? Honey?" Elizabeth tried to get his attention but he was watching something. Then she noticed what it was. "Hey," she said louder. His eyes met hers. "Its ok. They aren't alone and Caleb and Amy are home."

"I can't lose another daughter right now."

"You won't. She told me tonight she wants to be a teacher. She has plans."

"Plans change." He stopped dancing and walked over to the bench to rest.

THE BOARDING HOUSE

Julie tucked the girls in their room and went to change for bed. She stopped for a moment, seeing Tom sitting on their bed. She went to grab her robe and nightgown and headed to the bathroom to change.

"Julie, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"About us."

"Tom, not tonight."

"When, Julie? When are you going to forgive me?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left you alone with the kids for so long. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you."

"What about her? Are you sorry that you met her? Are you sorry that you almost left us? Are you sorry you cheated?"

"I didn't cheat. I was never with her, Julie. "

"I think that in your heart, you were. That's almost worse."

"You're wrong. In my heart, I wanted you, always. I never kissed her, I never slept with her. I didn't cheat."

"Maybe not, but it still hurt. I had just had a baby, Tom. Our baby. You left. It's just too much sometimes."

"I love you and our babies. I know I haven't been a good husband, but I want to be. I want another chance." She watched her husband basically begging. She wanted to give him what he was asking for, but she didn't trust him.

"Tom, the problem is that I don't trust you. You are going to have to prove that you want to be with us. I don't know if I can take losing you again."

"I will earn your trust, I promise you."

THE THORNTON RANCH

After the party, everyone went home, including Jack and Elizabeth. As they walked back, she squeezed his hand. "Are you going to let it go and enjoy our wedding night, or will I be sleeping alone, babe?"

"I'll let it go."

"Good choice. I'm telling you, you don't have to worry. He's a nice boy and he's cute, but she has a good head on her shoulders."

He slipped his arm around her waist, kissing her temple. "Were you surprised?"

"Yes. You are amazing, Jack Thornton." They paused when they got closer and saw Maddie and Nate saying goodnight on the porch. "Are you ready to let her go?"

"No, but I know I have to and if I had a choice, she'd be my little girl forever."

"She will always be in your heart, babe. Your little Bug will be there."

ON THE PORCH

Maddie held on tight as Nate hugged her. Three days and they wouldn't have to say goodbye anymore.

"I should go." He kissed her gently and stepped away.

"I'm going to take you to see the house tomorrow, ok? After the graduation."

"Sure. I am also stopping by Penny's to try on my suit again. Hopefully it fits better than last time."

Maddie giggled. "You looked adorable."

"Yeah like I was twelve."

"You were adorable when you were twelve."

He just smiled at her. "I want all our babies to look just like you." His eyes roamed her face, like he was memorizing every inch. He ran his fingers through her soft, dark curls. He touched her beautiful skin, running his thumb along her jaw. Finally, his lips touched hers, softly, teasing them, making her want more.

"Please don't go," she whispered.

"I have to. Love you, babe." He looked off to the yard. "Goodnight, Jack, Elizabeth. See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Nate."

Maddie's cheeks colored, knowing her parents had probably seen their goodbyes.

Elizabeth kissed her cheek, giving her a knowing look. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night, Ma."

Jack looked at her and then pulled her into his arms. "I love you, Bug."

"I love you too, Daddy."

THE NEXT DAY

Maddie's graduation went off perfectly. She was the only one graduating so it only took a minute to congratulate her and give her the certificate. She left the school, feeling free, knowing that part of her life was done, and a new one was beginning.

Maddie and Nate walked to Penny's so he could try on his suit. It fit perfectly.

Then, she led him to their house. "Babe, did you buy all of these things?"

"No. Only some. So many people gave us things we need, Nate. Towels and mirrors and sheets and dishes. I was so amazed."

"You did a nice job setting everything up. It feels like home."

"I think so too." They wandered into the bedroom. "Ok, Honey. Sit," she told him.

"Huh?"

"Feather bed. Have a seat." He walked over and sat down, bouncing up and down. Then he laid back.

"It's nice. Soft. Big."

"It won't seem big when there's two of us in it," she said.

"Let's try." He pushed up so he was leaning up on his elbows, smiling at her.

"Two days, honey."

"Come on. I'll be good."

"Imagine if my parents walked in."

"Maddie, just for a minute." She walked over and laid down, instantly feeling nervous when he grabbed her hand. He turned toward her, leaning up on one elbow. "Hey. Are you nervous?"

"Yes." She looked at him. "I've never…"

"I know, me either. We are in this together, ok?"

"I love you, Nate."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"I will make sure that you are ok, every step we take." He put his arm around her, pulling her to his chest. As soon as she heard his heartbeat, she relaxed. She did trust him. He was wonderful and he would take care of her.

THE NEXT DAY

Nate packed up his room at his parents house. His Dad helped him move his dresser and bed into the second room at the new house.

"Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, Bud. It's a nice house."

"It is. It will be good until I build us a house."

"You could just live here. It's a good size."

"I would like to live on the ranch."

"What does Maddie say?"

"She knows that I want to build a house." Nate thought about it. He didn't ask her if the ranch was where she ultimately wanted to live. "She said wherever I am, that's where she wanted to be."

"Ok."

The way his Dad said it, he felt like he did something wrong. "Dad, what if she isn't ok with that? How could I not have asked her?"

"You are going to see her for dinner, right?"

"Yes."

"Talk to her then. Son, remember, whenever anything is going to effect both of you, talk to her before you decide. We, as husbands, may make the decision, but taking our wives opinions and concerns into consideration is very important."

"Dad, I don't know if I'm ready for this. What if I mess up?"

"You will, don't worry." Brandon smiled.

"Thanks, Dad. That doesn't help at all."

"Bud, no one, especially Maddie, expects you to be perfect."

"I don't want to screw up. I want to prove that I can do this. I'm supposed to take care of her."

"Nathan, listen to me. You do not need to prove anything to anyone. You will take care of her because you love her. If you mess up, you fix it, apologize, and move on."

Nate sat on the couch, his head in his hands, elbows on his knees.

"Bud, when you say your vows, there is nothing in there that says that we promise to be perfect. We will always make mistakes. It's what you do when you make a mistake that matters."

"I need to see Maddie. Thank you, Dad."

He walked out the door and ran to the boarding house. Maddie was there doing last minute preparations for the wedding with all her female relatives.

He walked in and heard noise from the kitchen so he walked in. "Hi, Nate," they all said in unison.

"Ladies, may I borrow Maddie for a little bit?"

Maddie looked up and saw his face. He wasn't smiling. He looked overwhelmed.

"Honey? What's wrong?"

"Can I just talk to you?" He held out his hand and waited for her to come.

He led her to the porch. She placed her hand on his arm, getting his attention. "What is it?"

"Remember how you were nervous the other day?"

"Yes."

"I'm beyond nervous. I am so scared. What if I mess up? I am supposed to take care of you and our children when we have them. What if this isn't the right time for us?"

She walked over to him, stopping his pacing. She touched his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

"When we were laying on our bed and I told you I was nervous, what did you tell me?"

"That we are in this together."

"Yes, and that you would make sure I was ok, every step of the way. Well, the same goes for this situation. I am here. You can rely on me and I will support you no matter what, but you have to let me. You are not the only one in this marriage."

He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. He loved her so much it hurt. "Thank you, babe. I am so glad I have you." He kissed her, taking her breath away. He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. "I wish it was tomorrow."

She did too. "You're coming for dinner tonight, right?"

"Yes. I will be there." She kissed him gently.

"I love you. Don't forget that."

THAT EVENING

Caleb watched for Nate to show up. The moment he saw him, he walked out the door, taking Meri with him. "Hey, Nate. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure, Caleb. What's on your mind?" Nate didn't know exactly what Caleb wanted, but Maddie seemed nervous about it, so he in turn was a bit skittish.

They sat on the swing, Meri playing by their feet.

"Do you know the story behind how I came to live with Jack and Elizabeth?"

"No. Maddie told me you were adopted but she didn't go into details."

"I was five when my Dad and sister got sick and passed away. My mom kept me hidden in a dark room so I wouldn't catch it. One day, I came out because I heard my mom crying and I saw her take her own life."

"I'm sorry, Caleb. That had to be hard."

"I blamed myself. I thought she didn't want me and I couldn't make her happy. I didn't understand that she was just really sad. One day, I just started walking. I was so young I didn't know how to take care of myself. After a while, I don't know how many days it was, I was starving and cold and so scared. Jack found me one night and fed me and kept me warm. I didn't have anyone else, so he took me home. I owe him my life. He is the best father and I hope I can be as wonderful as he is to my kids. I try really hard." Meri stood up and showed him a flower.

"Pitty, Dada."

"Yes, love. Pretty." Caleb smiled at his daughter. "Maddie and I played together everyday and we grew up together like brother and sister and I love her so much. It didn't matter that Elizabeth didn't give birth to me. This wonderful family accepted me when I needed them. I just want you to know that I'm glad Maddie found you. She is happy and that's all I want."

Nate nodded. "I will take care of her, I promise, Caleb."

"I know. Welcome to the family, Nate."

IN THE KITCHEN

"Do you know what he's talking to him about?"

Amy shook her head. "No. Don't worry though. I'm sure everything is just fine."

Maddie tried to distract herself but she couldn't. Finally she put the knife she was using in the sink and walked to the living room, hoping to catch a word or two through the window.

Just as she was about to peek out again, the door opened. She looked at their faces and sighed. Nate didn't look upset.

"What are you so worried about, Maddie? I was nice to him." Caleb winked at her.

"I would hope so."

Nate walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "Hi, babe."

"Hi. You look nice."

"You look beautiful, as usual. Did you finish packing?"

"Almost. Can you maybe take a box to the house for me after supper? Or maybe the rest of my boxes? You can borrow our wagon."

"Sure. How many boxes do you have?"

"Maybe five?"

"Really? That's a lot."

"Mostly books," she said with a kiss.

"Good thing we have a bookcase."

"My thoughts exactly."

AFTER DINNER

She had five boxes, four of them filled with books. "After our honeymoon, we can come get the rest," he offered.

"What's a honeymoon?" Jay asked as he watched Nate pack the wagon.

"It's a trip that married people go on," Nate explained.

"Why?"

"So they can spend time together."

"Why?"

"Because they want to."

"Why?"

"Jay? Go inside. You're bath is ready," Maddie told him.

"Yes, Me Me."

Maddie smiled at Nate as she joined him beside the wagon. "So….why do married people want to go on a trip, honey?"

"Because they've waited and waited…" he paused to kiss her smiling lips, "and waited to finally be alone and going away is the only way to ensure no interruptions."

"But why?" He silenced her giggle with a few more kisses and then climbed up in the wagon.

"I'll see you tomorrow, babe. Noon. At the church. I'll be the one in the dark blue suit standing by Pastor Hogan."

"And I'll be the one in the white dress, walking down the aisle on my father's arm."


	36. Chapter 36 - Vows

MADDIE'S WEDDING DAY

Maddie sat up, unable to sleep any longer. She had too many things to do. She looked around the room she had shared with her sisters. Her book shelves were empty. Her dresser drawers and closet section was empty. It was bittersweet.

She looked over at Em and smiled. Her very best friend in the world, besides Nate. She leaned down and kissed her cheek and then got dressed.

An envelope on her dresser caught her eye.

She sat back down on the bed and opened it.

MY HONEYBUG,

TODAY, SWEETHEART, YOU START A NEW CHAPTER IN YOUR LIFE. IT WON'T BE ME TAKING CARE OF YOU ANYMORE. IT WILL BE YOUR HUSBAND. AS HARD AS IT IS FOR ME TO LET YOU GO, I KNOW YOU HAVE A GOOD, CAPABLE MAN TO TAKE OVER FOR ME.

I AM SO VERY PROUD OF THE WOMAN YOU HAVE BECOME. YOU ARE A GREAT EXAMPLE FOR YOUR SISTERS IN WHAT VALUES AND MORALS A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE.

ALWAYS REMEMBER 1 CORINTHIANS 13:7,8- LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS AND LOVE NEVER FAILS.

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART, MADILYN ELIZABETH.

Dad

Maddie wiped her eyes, trying to hold it together, but the tears took over.

"Maddie? Are you ok?"

"Yes." Em scooted up behind her, wrapping her arms around her and resting her chin on her shoulder. "I love you, Em."

"I love you back."

Elizabeth poked her head in the door. "Everybody awake in here?"

Abbie sat up in her crib and smiled. "Me up, Mama!"

"Good girl, sweet pea." She lifted her down and smiled as she ran off to the bathroom.

"Charlotte Grace, are you awake?" Carlie moaned as she heard her mother's voice. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She walked over and looked at her two oldest daughters, holding on to each other, tears rolling down their faces. "Are those happy tears, girls? Only happy tears today."

Maddie looked up at her mother and shrugged. "Dad wrote me a letter."

"I know he did, babe. I cried when I read it too."

"I love you, Ma."

"To the moon and back, Maddie." Maddie stood up and hugged her Mom as hard as she could.

After a few more moments of tears, Maddie took a deep breath. "Ok, I'm ready."

"Ready for what babe? It's only eight o'clock."

"Breakfast and then on to the boarding house to take a bath and get ready."

"Ok, then. Let's go."

They wandered into the kitchen. Jack was making pancakes. "Good morning, my beautiful ladies." He seemed cheerful.

"Morning!" they responded. Maddie walked over to her Dad.

"Daddy?"

"Hi, sweetheart. It's a big day."

"It is." She touched his arm. "Dad?"

"Babe, I can't look at you right now because I will lose it."

"Close your eyes. I'm going to hug you."

She turned him and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you for your letter."

"I meant every word."

"I know." She kissed him and then walked away.

The next few hours were a blur for Maddie. They left for the boarding house about two hours before the wedding. She took her bath and then went downstairs to where everyone else was.

"Hello, everyone," she said as she walked in the kitchen. Everyone paused and looked at her. "What?" She looked down at her robe, making sure it hadn't come open or something. "Somebody say something." Charlotte walked over and hugged her. "Grandma? Are you ok?"

"Yes, dear. I'm just proud of you."

"Thank you. I haven't done anything though."

"You are a good woman and I'm proud of you because you are my granddaughter."

"Thanks Grandma."

Julie smiled at her from her seat at the table. "Promise me something, Maddie."

"Of course Aunt Julie."

"Hold on tight to your husband, don't stop talking to him, and always, always make sure you tell him how important he is to you."

Elizabeth knew what Julie was referring to and she thought it was excellent advice.

"I promise, I will try my best."

At about eleven o'clock, Elizabeth, Charlotte, and Em took Maddie upstairs to help her with her dress and hair.

They didn't need to curl her hair so they just took half of her hair and pulled it back, leaving the bottom half loose and a few loose curls around her face.

They helped her step into her dress, Em buttoning the tiny pearls up her back to the bottom of the V. Em giggled. "What's so funny back there?"

"I love these buttons, but I'm pretty sure Nate won't."

"Emma Thornton! The things you say," Maddie scolded. However when she thought about it, she giggled too, her face turning red.

"You know I'm right."

"Yes, well, I'm guessing we will make the most of it."

"Wow, you girls and your talk." Charlotte shook her head but agreed. "You look beautiful sweetheart. I'm going to go get ready too."

"Ok, Grandma."

Em looked out the window. "There's Nate! Oh, Maddie. He looks very cute."

"I want to see." She ran over to catch a glimpse of her fiancé. She pulled back the curtains just enough to see him. He must have sensed someone looking because he stopped walking and looked back. She stepped back out of his line of vision. "What time is it, Ma?"

"We have twenty minutes. I'm going to get dressed and make sure everyone else is ready."

About ten minutes to noon, Maddie took her necklace off and handed Em her ring that Grandma Grace had given her. "Don't lose it. Please."

"I won't." She slipped it on her own finger and then hugged Maddie. "This veil is beautiful." Instead of using her mom's, she had Penny make her a plain lace veil that would drape over her hair and past her shoulders.

"Let's go, Em. I'm ready."

They linked arms and walked to the church. "Are you nervous, Maddie?"

"Not anymore. I'm just excited." Her Dad was waiting outside the church for her. When he raised his eyes, she saw them fill with tears.

She smiled and walked up to him. "Em, will you send Mom out here for a moment?"

Jack watched his daughter, the picture of calmness and grace. She was truly breathtaking.

"Honey, Em said you needed me?"

Maddie took her hand and her father's hand and smiled. "Let's pray?" Elizabeth grabbed Jack's hand to complete the circle of three.

As Jack prayed, they tightened their circle so they were standing, their foreheads touching and arms wrapped around each other's backs.

Jack looked up after he said Amen and smiled, kissing Elizabeth and his daughter. "I love both of you so much."

Maddie looked at her dress and smiled. "I'm ready."

Elizabeth walked in, leaving the door slightly ajar so they could hear the music start.

Maddie took her Dad's arm. When they heard the music, they climbed the steps and entered the church. When they heard the music change, they knew Em had made it to the front and it was time to walk.

Maddie squeezed his arm and looked toward the front to find Nate.

He caught her eye and smiled, tears immediately coming to his eyes. She looked more beautiful than he thought was even possible.

When she and Jack finally reached the front, Jack kissed her cheek and placed her hand in Nate's before heading to his seat.

Maddie gripped Nate's hands, smiling at him.

"You look amazing," she whispered.

"I'm speechless."

Frank stepped forward. "Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today in support and love of this wonderful young couple, Maddie Thornton and Nathan Carlin. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, but seriously. Into this holy union, this couple now come to be joined." Frank paused and then continued. "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Jack stood. "Her mother and I do." When he sat down, he grabbed Elizabeth's hand and sighed. He somehow had avoided crying and actually found his voice when he needed to.

"Good job, sweetie," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

While Frank talked about the importance of communication, Nate held Maddie's gaze. She was going to be his wife in just a few minutes. He couldn't wait.

"Nathan, repeat after me. I, Nathan Joseph Carlin, take you, Madilyn Elizabeth Thornton to be my wedded wife."

"I, Nathan Joseph Carlin, take you, Madilyn Elizabeth Thornton to be my wedded wife."

"To have and to hold, from this day forward.."

"To have and to hold, from this day forward.."

As the vows continued, Julie took Tom's hand, squeezing it. Yes, Tom had messed up, but Julie had stopped fighting. She hadn't lived up to the vows to be there for him in good times and bad.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered into his ear. "It was my fault too." She kissed his cheek and cried onto his shoulder. He held her hand and kissed her forehead, knowing later, they would settle everything.

"Do we have the rings?"

Em slipped Maddie's ring off her own finger and handed it to Frank. Brandon handed Nate's ring to him as well.

"These rings have an important meaning to Maddie and Nate. Not only do they symbolize the unending love that they have for each other, but they represent the love that Grace and William Thatcher expressed to each other over forty years ago."

Nate took her ring from Frank and placed it on her finger. "Maddie, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and affection that will last forever."

Maddie took her grandfather's ring and placed it on Nate's finger. Before she could speak, the enormity of what was happening and the meaning behind the rings suddenly hit her, taking her voice.

Nate saw her struggling. Her tears falling down her cheeks. "Babe, it's ok. I'm right here. Just talk to me."

She stared at his hands which were giving her strength, and took a breath. "Nate, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and affection that will last forever." He reached up and wiped her cheeks.

"By the power vested in me, I know pronounce you husband and wife. What God has brought together, let no man pull apart. Nathan, you may kiss your bride."

Nate smiled, placing his hands gently on the sides of her face, and kissed her briefly.

"I love you, Maddie Carlin."

"I love you."

"I'd like to introduce to you, Nathan and Madilyn Carlin." The church erupted in applause as they turned to face their family and friends and walked out the door. Nate led her behind the church and down the lane to the stream for a bit of privacy.

"Nate, please slow down. This dress is too long to run in."

"Sorry, babe." He slowed his pace but kept walking.

"Where are we going?"

"Just down here."

"Nate." He stopped when she squeezed his hand. "If I'm honest, that kiss you gave me was sweet but I was expecting something different."

"I just felt like kissing you like I wanted to should be done in private."

"Like in the woods?" She looked around and then back to him, resting her hands on his waist.

"Yes." He moved closer and then kissed her slowly, gasping when he felt her hands slip under his suit coat. "In the woods is good," he whispered.

"Or at home?"

"Yes. Do you think anyone would notice if we went home instead of to the reception?" He kissed her jaw and then made his way down to her neck.

"I'm pretty sure they would." She never felt so vulnerable than at moment and she really wouldn't mind going home except they were expected to be at the restaurant.

"I was afraid you would say that."

"Besides, there isn't a good way to get home without going through town." She giggled, pulling away from his soft, warm lips. "That tickles."

"I'll have to remember that," he said with a wink.

She ran her hands up his sides under his coat. "Are you ticklish, honey?"

"You'll have to figure that out on your own."

AT THE RESTAURANT

Nate and Maddie walked in about twenty minutes later. Everyone turned and clapped.

Em grabbed her and pulled her off to the side. "Where did you two go?"

"For a walk. The best part is, we don't need to answer that question anymore."

"Fine. Just a thought, you might want to fix your lipstick…and his."

Maddie's eyes got big. She looked at Nate and smirked, pulling him back outside for a moment. She raised her hand to his mouth, wiping the lipstick off his lips.

"Will you get mine?" she asked innocently.

"Gladly," he agreed, leaning down to kiss her.

"Nate, wipe my lipstick off, please. I don't have a mirror."

He touched her mouth gently, wiping the lipstick off as requested. Then he kissed her anyway.

"I love your lips," he said as he kissed them repeatedly. "Are you sure we can't just go home?"

She took his hand and led him back inside. As good as being alone with her new husband sounded, they needed to at least put in an appearance.

So, they ate lunch prepared by Abigail and Theresa. They had cake prepared by Charlotte. Then they danced.

Nate held her close, his one hand on her lower back, teasing the pearl buttons that were there, and his other hand holding hers against his heart. "Babe, you did take my breath away in this dress. I've never seen anything more beautiful."

"Thank you." She kissed the corner of his mouth and leaned her forehead against his cheek. "You look pretty good yourself, husband."

"Well, at least my suit fits properly now."

She giggled. "I'll say."

Other couples started dancing, including Jack and Elizabeth, Lee and Rosemary, and Theresa and Ben.

Finally it was time for the father daughter dance. Jack took her hand and led her to the middle of the floor. "Are you having a good time, Bug?"

"Yes. Thank you for giving me away today, Dad."

He looked down into her eyes and smiled. "You're welcome. Honestly, I don't think it's hit me yet."

She put her head on his shoulder and enjoyed their moment together, knowing it was yet another mark of moving on. "You always make me feel safe when you hold me like this, Daddy."

The words hit him like a train barreling through his chest. His little Bug was leaving. He had known it, but hadn't let himself fully believe it until now. She looked up at him when she felt his demeanor change. "Dad? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you." He shook his head and held her closer.

He kissed her forehead, keeping his lips there for a moment. "I love you, baby."

"I know. I love you too."

Just like that, it was over. Maddie hugged him, kissed his cheek, and walked back to her husband.

Jack walked outside to get control of his emotions. Elizabeth, holding a sleeping Kylie, saw him leave and decided she better follow. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Fine," he mumbled.

"Need a hug?"

"Yes, please." He gratefully accepted her hug.

"Honey you did such a good job today holding it together." He held her tighter, mindful of Kylie.

"I think I might need a bit more comfort than a hug." She looked up at him and smiled.

"Oh yeah?" She kissed him softly. "How's that?"

"Better, but I was hoping for something more." He bent down and kissed her slowly, his lips playing with hers, teasing.

"Later," she whispered.

When they walked back in, they sat down at their table with the kids.

Jay walked over to Maddie and tugged on her hand. "Me Me?"

She looked down and smiled. "Hi, Jay!"

"Me Me, will you dance with me?"

"Of course, let's go." At first they danced with his head on her waist but then she reached down and picked him up. "That's better."

"Are you leaving me?"

Her heart broke a bit when he said the words. "Well, I'm going to live with Nate now, but I'll be close so we'll see each other all the time."

"So you are leaving me." A tear rolled down his cheek. "Please don't go. I need you." He put his head on her shoulder and held on tight as they swayed.

"Listen, bud. I love you so much. To the moon and back. I will come see you and maybe sometimes you can come with Em to see me."

"Not the same," he mumbled.

"I know, but when we grow up, things change sometimes."

"I'm still little."

"Yes you are, bud."

She carried him back over to her parents. She put him on Jack's lap and squatted down to say goodbye. "We are going to be leaving soon. Thank you for the dance, Jay. I love you."

He threw his arms around her neck again. "Moon back, Me Me."

Nate walked over. "Ready, babe?"

"Yes. I think so." They hugged everyone, thanking them for coming and then went home.


	37. Chapter 37 - I'm yours and You're mine

They walked to their new house, both a bit nervous, but excited to finally be alone. He squeezed her hand as they walked up to their door. "We're home," he said with a smile. He opened the door and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her inside.

When he shut the door with his foot, he gently set her down, keeping his hands on her waist. She stared into his eyes for a moment and then smiled.

"What should we do?" she asked him quietly.

The question made him nervous. "Um, maybe get into some more comfortable clothes?"

"Ok, but I'm going to need your help."

"What?" His eyes grew big and he stuttered. "Um…what do you mean?" She turned around.

"I can't get the buttons. I'm going to need your help, honey." She actually liked the fact that Nate was more nervous than she was. In a weird way, it made her more calm.

She led him into the bedroom and turned again. She felt him struggle with the first button, his hands shaking. She turned back to face him and grabbed his fingers. "Why don't we just talk for a bit?"

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against his chest, a little embarrassed that he was so nervous. She looked up at him and smiled. "You're pretty cute when you're nervous."

"I don't know why I am. I'm sorry, Maddie."

"Don't apologize, Nate. This is new and we are finally alone. My mom told me the key is to relax and just let things happen."

"You talked to your mom about this?"

"Yes, I was scared. She is easy to talk to."

"You don't seem scared now."

"I'm not. I'm just happy." Her admission gave him more courage.

He turned her and attempted the crazy little buttons again. This time he was successful. She felt the dress loosen so she held the top up with one hand and walked over to the dresser and retrieved her nightgown and robe. "I'll be back."

IN THE BATHROOM

She slipped the short, silky, blue nightgown over her head and turned to look in the mirror. "I should have grabbed the long one," she muttered to herself. Never had she felt more uncomfortable in a piece of clothing before. Obviously she had never worn this little clothing in front of anyone, much less a man. She adjusted the straps to cover a little more of herself. She put the robe on and tied it, feeling more covered, but only a little. The robe wasn't any longer than the nightgown.

She took the pins out of her hair and hung her dress on the back of the door.

She took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Nate?"

"In the kitchen. Do you want some tea?"

"Sure," she said as she joined him.

He turned and looked at her, dropping the kettle onto the stove top, scaring them both.

She smiled at his nervousness again. "Do you like it?" He was staring but not speaking.

"Yeah." The sight of a beautiful woman, his Maddie, in a robe, with bare legs…he could barely breathe. He walked over and kissed her, burying his fingers deep in her hair. "I thought you in your dress…but now…my goodness." He kissed her again and again, knowing he wasn't scared anymore. Everything would be just fine.

A FEW HOURS LATER

Maddie woke up, draped across Nate's chest. She smiled and kissed his cheek. He moaned quietly and pulled her closer.

The emotion and closeness she felt after their time together was like nothing else she had ever felt before. She loved him more and trusted him more. He was a wonderful, caring husband and she was beyond happy.

His stomach growled making her giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"I better go make you some food."

"That could be a problem, babe."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think we have any food. I didn't buy any, did you?"

"No, but Abigail did. She gave us just enough for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She knew we wouldn't feel like leaving so she took care of it."

"Thank goodness for Abigail."

"I'll be back." She got up, quickly wrapping her robe around her body and left the room.

Nate put his pants on and followed her.

"I would have brought the food to you, Nate."

"I missed you."

"I've been gone for about a minute." She was teasing…she missed him too.

"Can't help it." He hopped up on the counter next to her and watched her pull out bowls of food and then put some of each thing on their plates.

The forks, however, were in the drawer under where he was sitting. "Sweetie, can you maybe move a little so I can get the forks?"

"What if I don't want to move?"

"Then you will be eating with your fingers."

"I'm good with that."

She shook her head at him, seeing the gleam in his eyes. "Ok, what do you want?"

"You, over here." He took the spoon from her hand and pulled her over right between his knees. He rested his arms on her shoulders and leaned forward to kiss her. "I love you, Maddie."

"I love you too." She swiped her finger in the mashed potatoes and wiped it on his chest, laughing. As she took her finger away he grabbed it and brought it to his mouth, eating what was left.

"See, we don't need forks."

"I suppose we don't."

The rest of the day was spent doing much of the same. Just as the sun was going down, they took a walk to the stream. "Our trip will be nice, I think. Penny said the inn is beautiful."

"I'm glad."

"You're quiet tonight, honey. Everything ok?"

"Of course. What could possibly be wrong?"

"I don't know. If there is, you can tell me." He kissed her temple.

"Nothing is wrong, I promise. I'm just thinking about everything."

"Do I make you happy, Nate?" He turned and looked at the uncertainty on her face.

"Of course!"

"I mean this is so new and I don't want you to be disappointed."

"Yes, this is new but you and I are together now. You could never disappoint me."

"Are you sure?" He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"This is a different side of you, babe. You are usually so confident."

"I didn't ever worry about what someone else thought before. I want to be the best wife and mother. I want it so badly."

"I'm not worried."

"Why is that?" She sat down on the log by the stream.

"Because I know you. Being a mom will come very natural to you. You have been my wife for like seven hours and you've already rendered me speechless three times. I know you so well, but you still surprise me. I can't wait to learn everything about you."

"We should go home, Nate."

"Why?"

"Two reasons. We need to pack for our trip and I'm dying to try out the new bathtub." She smirked, taking his hand and pulling him behind.

"Make that four times." He had no doubt he had married the best woman for him. He loved surprises and she seemed to be full of them.

THE BOARDING HOUSE

Julie and Tom sat in their room talking. They knew how much they needed to clear the air, admit their mistakes, and finally move forward so they could stop living in the past.

"During the vows, Tom, I realized that our slipping away from each other was my fault as much as yours. I didn't fight for us and I am so sorry. You deserved more than I gave you."

"Julie, I appreciate you're apology but I don't blame you for being angry with me."

"If I'm being honest, I think once I found out about her, I wanted to punish you. I was so hurt and I wanted to hurt you too." She was embarrassed she had acted that way.

"Jules, I never stopped loving you. I want you back. It's literally hurting me right now to sit here and talk to you and not know if I will ever be able to touch you again."

She touched his hand and squeezed. "I miss you Tom but we're not ready yet."

He knew their relationship couldn't be fixed that quickly, but the longer it took, the harder it was.

THORNTON HOUSE

Jack watched Elizabeth rock Kylie to sleep while he held Jay. Jay was having a rough time knowing Maddie wasn't coming home.

He rubbed his back, humming, trying to relax him.

"Daddy, I want Me Me."

"I know, buddy. She will come visit in a few days when she gets back from her trip."

Telling him "a few days" started a whole new wave of crying.

Em knocked on the door.

"Come in," Elizabeth said quietly.

"Hi, I thought maybe Jay might want to sleep in Me Me's bed." She walked over and kissed his cheek, now hot and red from being so upset. "Do you want to sleep with me, in Me Me's bed?" He lifted his head and nodded, reaching for her. "Give Daddy and Mama kisses and then we will go to bed." He kissed Jack and then went over to Elizabeth.

"Night, Mama." His breathing shuddered as he spoke.

"Night, baby. It's going to be ok, I promise."

He followed Em out of the room and down the hall.

Em knew that Maddie and Nate were leaving on the early train, so she thought she would take Jay to the train to say goodbye.

He climbed into bed and snuggled up to her. "Night Jay. Love you."

"Night."

THE NEXT MORNING

Em woke him up early, telling him that they were going to see the train. He loved the train so he went willingly.

They got dressed and left the house while everyone was still asleep. He walked next to her, quiet but watching everything. When they arrived at the depot, he yelled, "Me Me!" He took off running to go see her.

"Jay? What are you doing here?" She picked him up and hugged him, looking for an explanation.

"He had a rough night, so I thought if he could say goodbye and see you, it might help," Em explained.

Nate stood beside Maddie, his hand on her waist.

"Jay, I need you to be a brave boy when I leave."

"I don't want you to go."

"I know, but that's why you have to be brave. I won't be gone long, but I need to be with Nate."

"Why?"

"Because I do. You need to listen and be brave. Promise?"

He looked at Nate and her and then hugged her even harder. "Promise, Me Me."

A moment later, the conductor yelled, "All aboard," and it was time to say goodbye.

Maddie hugged him tight and kissed his cheek. "Ok, bud. I'll see you soon." He frowned as she put him down. "Be brave."

Em hugged her sister and they both watched as Maddie and Nate climbed aboard.

THE THORNTON HOUSE

Caleb rolled over expecting to find his wife's warm body next to his, but instead he found a cool bed. "Ames?"

The crib was empty across the room too. He got up and dressed, running his fingers through his hair, and walked downstairs.

He found her in the kitchen chatting with everyone else. "Hi, babe. Coffee?" she asked.

"No thanks, I'm going for my run. See you in a bit." He kissed her cheek and left the room.

"How far does he run, Amy?" Elizabeth asked.

"I think he's up to seven miles. He tries very hard to stay in shape. Constable Swift is tough on him."

"It's a beautiful day. Who wants to go outside with me?" Jack asked. Will and Drew were up for it and Carlie always liked to be part of the action.

Mason clapped. "Me, Papa!"

"You, Mason? Ok, buddy. Let's go. Abbie? Want to go, baby?"

"Yes," she said.

Meri, ever the timid one, watched but didn't seem too excited.

So, Elizabeth, Kylie, Amy, Meri, and Logan stayed and played inside.

OUTSIDE

Jack sat on the porch step and watched Will and Drew toss a ball back and forth and Carlie, Abbie, and Mason playing on the grass.

Mason walked over and handed him a rock. "Wock, Papa."

"Yes, rock. You are a smart boy, Mason."

"Dada?"

"He'll be back soon."

"Dada, bye?"

"He went for a run. He will be back soon."

"Bye bye," Mason repeated.

Jack wondered if Mason thought he wasn't coming back for a long time or if he just didn't understand.

"Daddy, come look!" Carlie and Abbie were laying on the ground looking up at the sky. "Look at the cloud! It looks like a dog!"

Abbie agreed. "Doggie."

Jack walked over and sat down and then laid back on the grass to see what Carlie was so excited about. Then Mason came over and laid right next to him.

They stayed like that for awhile, pointing out cloud shapes and birds and finally, Mason fell asleep on Jack's chest, with Abbie and Carlie dozing next to him.

Caleb walked up and saw Mason laying on Jack's chest, wishing he had a camera. He didn't, but he bet his mom knew where his dad's was. He quietly ran inside and retrieved it, and a few moments later, walked back out. He took it off the tripod and laid in the grass to get a shot from that perspective and then backed up to get the four of them.

He would never forget the sight that he had captured. The love that his father showed for everyone, even in his sleep, warmed his heart.

THAT EVENING

Nate took Maddie's hand and led her off the train. They waited for their suitcases and then walked down the sidewalk through Deer Falls.

Nate planned on introducing Maddie to his Uncle Paul at some point, but tonight, he just wanted to find the inn, get some dinner, and sleep.

He headed inside the mercantile and asked where to find the inn.

"Yes, young man. The inn is just outside town. Head down this way and you can't miss it."

"Thank you sir. How far do you think? My wife and I are tired and would like to rest before too much longer."

"Wife, you say? You seem awful young to be married." The skeptical look on the man's face wasn't lost on Nate.

Maddie stepped inside and grabbed Nate's arm. "Honey, did you find out how far?"

"You the missus? Why you look.."

"Sir, yes, this is my wife, and we just want to know how far it is to the inn."

"As I said, just outside town. It's a fair walk from here, but shouldn't take more than ten minutes or so."

"Thank you," Nate nodded.

Maddie nodded and followed him out.

"I don't see what difference it makes that we're young, Maddie. I just needed an answer to my question." Nate was walking fast and she was struggling to keep up.

"Nate, slow down please. I don't think he meant to offend you. He noticed we are young. Why does that bother you?"

"Because, it shouldn't matter. I'm perfectly capable of being your husband at sixteen."

"Of course you are."

"I want to be known as a capable, hardworking rancher, not just young."

"Nate, look at me, sweetie, and please slow down." She put her suitcase on the ground and sat on it. He finally stopped walking and then came back and sat on his suitcase. "What do you think of yourself?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think you're capable and hardworking?"

"Yes."

"Do you? To me it sounds like you are trying to prove to yourself that you can do this. How do you really feel? Do you think you are too young to be a good husband to me?"

"No." She stared at him for a moment and he stared back. How did she know he questioned himself? "Fine, maybe I do feel that way."

She leaned forward and grabbed his hands. "Why?"

"I don't know."

"The fact that you were more nervous than I was to be together for the first time, proved to me that I married the perfect person for me. You cared what I was feeling and you made me feel comfortable. That meant so much to me."

"Of course I did. I love you."

"You are mine now, in every sense of the word, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together."

THANK YOU TO SHANNON TURNER MELLOT FOR THE "WATCHING THE CLOUDS" IDEA. IT BECAME LESS OF A ROMANTIC THING AND MORE OF A FATHER/GRANDFATHER/CHILDREN THING, BUT I THINK IT WORKED! I HOPE YOU DID TOO 😁😁


	38. Chapter 38 - Together

DEER FALLS INN

Maddie and Nate finally made it to the inn. They were exhausted and hungry and just needed to sit down.

"Good evening, you must be the Carlins?"

"Yes, ma'am," Nate answered. "I'm Nate and this is Maddie."

"It's wonderful to meet you both. Let me show you to your suite."

"Wait," Maddie said. "I didn't ask for a suite. We just need a room. We can't pay for a suite."

"Now don't you worry, Mrs. Carlin. This suite is just what you two need and it has already been paid for."

"What do you mean? I said that we would pay when we arrived. There must be a mistake."

"No mistake. A Mr. Travis Harris, who just happens to be my son, arranged for everything."

"Uncle Travis," she whispered. When she sent the telegram, she had forgotten he was Renee's son.

"Follow me," she said, already walking up the stairs to the second floor. Nate picked up both suitcases and they followed her. "I call this my honeymoon suite. Are either of you hungry?"

"Yes!" they said in unison.

"I have roast beef with carrots and mashed potatoes. I'll bring it up in about five minutes."

The second she closed the door, they looked around. "I think this is the most beautiful room I've ever seen." Fresh flowers adorned various vases in the room. The atmosphere was very calming.

Nate had walked into the bathroom. "The bathtub is huge, babe. There is even vanilla bubble bath on the sink."

"Sounds perfect." She opened her suitcase and set out her nightgown and robe for after dinner.

HARRIS TOWN, THORNTON HOUSE

Caleb and Amy sat on the couch on their last night in town, just enjoying each other.

The children were asleep upstairs and they were enjoying quiet.

Caleb touched her chin, staring at her beautiful, soft lips. He slipped his hand behind her neck and leaned in to capture them. She pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around his back.

Caleb felt a little hand on his knee and jerked back from their embrace. "Abbie. What are you doing up?"

"Kisses," she said with a giggle. Amy hid her face in his neck, her face heating up.

He picked her up and kissed her face all over, making her laugh. "Where's Mama?"

"Kiki eat."

"She's feeding Kiki?"

"Yes."

Em walked in. "Sorry Caleb. She somehow escaped her crib." She held out her arms to Abbie. "Time for bed, Ab."

"Night night," she said with a wave.

Caleb smiled and then looked back at his wife. "Shall we continue?"

"As much as I would love to just sit here and kiss you all night, we need to finish packing and sleep."

"Amy Thornton, always my voice of reason."

"That's right. Someone has to do it." They stood up and turned the lamps off.

"It's kinda romantic here in the dark."

"Caleb, upstairs," she said with a giggle and a swat to his rear end.

A WEEK LATER

All the wedding visitors were gone and the honeymooners were arriving home on the train.

"We need to make a trip to the store, Nate. We have nothing in the house to eat."

"Ok. After we take our suitcases home, we'll go."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"Anything you want to make is fine."

"Liver and onions?" she joked.

"Gross! No."

"What if I like liver?"

"I might have to rethink our marriage."

"A deal breaker?"

"Absolutely."

"Ok, no liver. Don't want to lose a husband over something as disgusting as that."

"Good choice. We could go to my parents for dinner."

"Seriously? We just get home from our honeymoon and you want to spend the evening with your parents?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Three words. Short blue nightgown."

"Ok, so what's for dinner?" She giggled and made a list of things they needed.

DINNER TIME, NATE AND MADDIE'S

Maddie finished cooking while Nate set the table, lighting candles as he went. "I didn't know we had this many candles, Nate."

"We didn't, but I bought a few more from the store."

"A few?" There was at least a dozen around the room. He had gone to the store alone.

"I thought it would make it romantic."

"I love that you thought that." She kissed his cheek and smiled.

"It doesn't?"

"Let's try this." She blew out about half of them to make her point.

"It's shadows and darkness. That's romantic?"

"Maybe this will help." She removed her robe revealing her short blue nightgown she had mentioned on the train.

He raised his eyebrows and saw her point. "Ok, less candles and less clothes. I'm good with that."

Just then the door opened and Em walked in. "Maddie! Why is it so dark in here? I need to talk to you."

"Em? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you. Why didn't you come see me when you got home?"

"Ok, first, you can't just come in here like this.

"Why?"

"Because I don't live with you anymore and this is my house, with my husband. We are in the middle of our evening."

For the first time, Em noticed the food, the table, and Maddie's nightgown. "Oh. I'm sorry. I need to talk to you, though."

"I'll come over tomorrow and we'll talk."

"It's important."

"I'm busy tonight. Tomorrow. Goodnight Em."

THE THORNTON RANCH

Em walked in the door at home just as confused as she was before she left.

"Em? Where were you?" Elizabeth asked.

"I went to see Maddie."

"Tonight?"

"Yes. She got mad and told me she was busy."

"She was angry?"

"Well, no, but I needed to talk to her and she told me she couldn't. They looked like they were going to eat dinner, but it was so dark and she was wearing her nightgown so I don't think that was it."

"Honey, you should wait for an invitation to go over, especially at night."

"She used to talk to me all the time. Now, she's different."

"Yes, she is. Now, Nate comes first. Then, when she has babies, they'll will take up more of her time." She could see Em's face and her disappointment. "You could talk to me, if you want. I know I'm not Maddie, but I would like a chance to help you."

"I'm just going to go to bed. Night Ma."

"Night, Em."

THE NEXT DAY, NATE AND MADDIE'S

Nate slipped out of bed early. "Where are you going?" she mumbled.

"To work, babe."

"You can't stay with me today?"

"No, Dad's expecting me. I will be home for supper."

She sat up and looked at him. "What about lunch?"

He sat down next to her on the bed. "I won't have time to come home for lunch."

"What will you eat?"

"I'm sure Ma will make me something."

"Ok, but starting tomorrow, I will pack you a lunch. It's my job to take care of you." He stood up and she missed him. "Nate, wait." He stopped and looked at her. She wrapped her robe around herself and then her arms around him. "You didn't kiss me goodbye."

"I'm sorry." He leaned down and kissed her lips, lingering for a moment. "I'll miss you today."

"I'll miss you too." She did already and she didn't want to let him go.

"Babe, I have to go. I'll see you tonight." He kissed her once more and then left.

She made herself tea and then dressed to go see Em. She wondered what was on her sister's mind.

She walked in her parent's house and smiled. All the voices she had missed were coming from the kitchen. "Good morning, everyone."

"Maddie!" "Me Me!" "Bug!"

Jay beat everyone to her, jumping into her arms. "You're home!"

"Hi, bud. Were you brave when I was gone?"

"Yes, Me Me. I missed you but I didn't cry."

"Good job."

Em did the dishes quietly while everyone else talked to her sister.

After a bit, Maddie walked over and picked up a towel to dry. "Em? Are you mad?"

"No."

"Do you still want to talk to me?"

"Yes." Em's eyes filled with tears as she looked away and continued with the dishes.

"What's wrong?"

Em put her dish down and led her onto the back porch. "I miss him."

"Who?"

"Lee Coulter."

"You miss him? You barely know him."

"I do though. Every night since Mom and Dad's vow renewal, we talked. He came over and we took a walk or sat on the porch. We talked for at least an hour each time. Maddie! He isn't in my plans. I'm going to teacher college next fall. I want to teach before I get married. Now…he makes me feel like I want to be with him instead."

"Do Mom and Dad know you were sneaking out?"

"No, are you kidding? Dad would go crazy. He just gave you away."

"Did he kiss you?" Em blushed and turned her head. "He did! How was it?"

"Really good. Maddie what do I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I'm confused."

"I think it may be hard, but I say go to teacher college and just write letters. He lives far away. If he lived here, I might have a different answer. Is he working at the lumber mill with Uncle Lee?"

"Yes, for now, but he eventually wants to start his own somewhere other than Hope Valley."

"So he has plans too."

"Yes."

"How do you fit into them, Em?"

"I don't know. Growing up is hard."

"It is, but sometimes it's all worth it."

AT LUNCH

Maddie walked over to the Carlin ranch hoping to see Nate for lunch. She knocked on the door and waited. She could hear them inside but it was loud. She knocked again but when no one came, she opened the door. "Hello? Anyone home?"

She walked into the kitchen. "Hi, Maddie!" Dee greeted. "Would you like some lunch?"

"I don't want to be a bother."

"You are no bother. Trust me." Dee kissed her cheek and made her a plate.

Nate walked over and kissed her. "It's good to see you." She looked into his eyes and realized she missed him a lot more than she had thought.

"Can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

"Sure." She led him outside and then turned and basically devoured him with kisses. "Babe. What's on your mind?" She kissed his neck and ear and then moved back to his mouth, this time slowly which drove him more crazy than before.

"We don't….I mean….we can't do this here." He pulled his lips away from hers and stepped back.

"I'm sorry. I should go." She turned, suddenly embarrassed of her own behavior.

He watched her walk away but then stopped her. "Maddie, I missed you. Please don't go."

"I have to. I shouldn't have come." She walked around the side of the house and sat down before dissolving in tears.

Nate walked back in the house and sat down.

"Where's Maddie?" Dee asked.

"She had to go."

"Is she ok?"

"Yeah. It's our first day apart and it's hard for her." He pushed his plate back.

"And you?"

"Yeah. I didn't know how much I would miss her."

"Why don't you go home? Your Dad can do without you until Monday."

"I shouldn't."

"You should. I'm guessing she needs you right now. Go to your wife, Nate. Trust me."

MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

She couldn't believe how crazy she had acted. It was as if her body had disconnected itself from her brain. The absolute torture that she felt in being away from him for only a few hours was overwhelming.

She took a few deep breaths and calmed herself. "I can do this. Four more hours and he'll be home." She stood, dried her tears, and looked in the mirror. "Oh gosh. I look terrible." Her eyes were red and puffy and her nose matched.

"Maddie?"

"Nate?" Her heart leapt in her chest when she heard his voice.

He walked in the bedroom. "Honey, why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry." She sat on the bed and looked at her hands.

"For what? You didn't do anything."

He sat next to her, but turned to face her. "Nate, the way I acted. I'm so embarrassed."

"I'm not complaining about your kisses."

She blushed and smiled. "Why are you home early?"

"Mom told me to. She thought you might want me here. If you don't, I can go back…"

She grabbed him, leaning against his chest. "No, don't go. I do need you."

He pulled her tight against him and sighed. "I need you too."

"You do? I mean, it's not just me?"

"No. I almost dropped a hammer on my toe because I was thinking about you."

"Nate, you have to stop thinking about me when you're working. You almost had a concussion from that tree branch and now your poor foot."

"That's easier said than done, babe. I'm always thinking about you."

HOPE VALLEY, TOM AND JULIE'S

Tom took his suitcase into the room that he had been staying in for the last year or so, ever since Jake had moved. He sat on the bed and sighed. He didn't want to be away from Julie anymore.

"Tom?" She peeked her head in the door.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"I was going to unpack, but I don't want to be in here. Julie, please, I want to be with you."

She nodded and held out her hand. "I want you with me." He jumped up and hugged her tight and kissed her cheek. She leaned back a fraction of an inch and stared at him. He had such blue eyes and she had forgotten how gorgeous they were.

"Jules?"

She touched his cheek with her finger. "I missed you so much." With her confession, she leaned forward, slipped her arms around his neck, and kissed him, letting her lips linger on his, sighing as he kissed her back.

"Mama! Olive is sick I think." Sophie had walked in the room breaking into their moment.

"What? Olive is sick?"

"I don't know, but she's pulling on her ear and crying."

"Honey? We'll talk later?"

"Yeah." He picked up his suitcase and walked to the room that was his and Julie's room.

MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

"Is your Dad mad that you left?" She stared into Nate's eyes as they lay facing each other, arms around each other's waists.

"I don't know. Ma told me to go."

"Oh good grief. He's going to think I'm some little girl who can't handle her emotions."

"Now who's worried about being too young? He was a newlywed himself. He will understand, and he loves you like a daughter."

"I can handle it, Nate. I'm strong. I come from a line of strong women."

"You don't need to prove anything to me."

"I guess we are perfect for each other," she said.


	39. Chapter 39 - A new season of life

HOPE VALLEY

The next few weeks were better for Julie and Tom. They hadn't gone any further than staying in the same room, but they worked together as all three girls ended up with a cold and ear aches.

Julie got up to make breakfast, careful not to disturb Tom. She had an idea so she and Tom could have a night alone but she'd need to convince Viola to take the girls for the night. Viola had three kids of her own with another on the way so she might need to watch her kids at some point to get her to agree.

Tom walked in and slipped his arms around his wife. "Hey, Honey."

"Good morning." He kissed her cheek and stepped back. "So, I think I'm going to ask Vi to watch the girls tonight, Tom."

"Ok. So it would be just you and me tonight? Wow, I don't know what we could possibly find to do all by ourselves," he flirted, stepping toward her to kiss her.

"I have some ideas," she whispered, slipping her hands up his chest and resting her arms around his neck.

"I don't know how on earth I'm going to make it all day without chopping off a finger."

HARRIS TOWN

They'd been married a full month and had finally made peace with being apart during the day. Maddie worked at the boarding house doing whatever her Grandma needed and when she had her day off, usually Sunday, she and Nate spent it together.

Nate walked to and from the ranch everyday, completely enjoying learning everything he could about the ranch that would one day be part his.

This day, they did what they always did, walked to the fork in the road, gave each other a hug and a kiss, and walked their separate ways to work.

"Love you, Nate."

"Love you, babe."

She walked into the door at the boarding house and straight to the kitchen.

"Morning, Papa," she said to Jake who was having his morning coffee.

"Morning, sweetheart. Nate off to the ranch?"

"Yes, sir." She started the dishes and hummed to herself. "Papa, are there any families coming this week?"

"Today, I think. Your Grandma said a young couple with a toddler. She thinks they are going to move here."

"Oh, that would be great." She would love to have another young couple to spend time with.

She finished the dishes and headed to the cellar to get a few jars of tomatoes and veggies. She was going to make spaghetti for dinner for the new family.

She came up a few moments later and stopped. Her Grandma and Papa were kissing and she felt in the way. She backed up and went back downstairs to give them time.

"Charlotte, Maddie should be up soon." She smiled, kissing him again, loving his minty breath. He always popped a peppermint in his mouth after coffee.

"Um, excuse me," a quiet feminine voice said from the doorway. "Pardon us, but I'm looking for Charlotte Hunt?"

Charlotte stepped back and licked her lips. "Forgive me. I'm Charlotte. This is my husband, Jake."

"Hi, I'm Jenny Matthews. This is my son, Cameron."

"Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you Jenny. You and your husband will love it here. It's a wonderful town to raise a family." Jenny's face fell and tears started to fall. "Oh dear, what is it? What did I say?"

"It's not you, ma'am. My husband is gone."

THORNTON RANCH

"Mama, let's go. I want to see Me Me," Jay pleaded.

"Patience, love." Elizabeth and five of her children were headed to see Maddie and their grandparents. The twins went fishing.

Elizabeth pulled up Kylie's bloomers and set her on the floor. "Ready, Kiki?"

"Ya."

They walked out the door, ready to make the long walk to town, Elizabeth knowing she would be carrying Kiki most of the way.

"Babe, I got the wagon ready for you," Jack yelled from the barn, leading Storm and Bella through the open door way, pulling the family wagon.

"Oh, thank you!"

Em offered to drive so Elizabeth got in the back with Carlie, Jay, Abbie, and Kiki.

They arrived in town fifteen minutes later. Jay ran ahead anxious for Me Me.

"Me Me! I'm here!" he yelled as he entered the kitchen.

"That's our grandson, Jay. I'm sorry." Jenny smiled, not minding the noise. She had a young son too.

"Jay, shhh."

"Sorry, Papa." He saw the girl at the table crying with a little boy. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be loud, ma'am."

"That's ok."

He walked over to Maddie who was standing at the counter. "Hi, Me Me," he whispered.

She picked him up and hugged him, needing his love right then.

Jenny couldn't be more than eighteen and she'd already lost her husband. Something about the story, made her need to see Nate as soon as possible.

TWO DAYS BEFORE, THE MEADOW BETWEEN CALGARY AND DEER FALLS

Jenny couldn't find Cam, but wasn't too worried. He was probably with his Dad. He followed him everywhere.

After an hour, she did start to worry though. The stage was leaving soon and they couldn't miss it. She started walking toward the meadow and heard Cam crying. "Cam!"

"Mama! Daddy sick!"

She ran over to her son and husband who was lying on the ground. "Ryan? What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"Snake," he whispered. "Rattler."

"Where?" She looked around, searching.

"Gone." He raised his arm, now swelling and red, the streaks all the way up his arm.

"I'll get help."

"No time. I love you, Jen."

"HELP US!" She screamed over and over.

"Jen," he whispered, grabbing her hand. "Love you."

"No, Ryan. Please, you can make it. I need you."

He didn't make it. He died, laying there on the ground, at the age of nineteen, leaving her alone.

CURRENT DAY, HARRIS TOWN

Maddie struggled through the rest of the day, needing to see Nate so badly it hurt. Jenny's tragic loss was proof again that bad things happened and it didn't matter how old or how young you were. It didn't matter if you had a wife and child or were a grandmother. Life was full of ups and downs.

What mattered was holding tight to the ones you love and making sure they always know how you feel about them.

So when Nate was about thirty minutes late getting home, she was almost panicked.

"Maddie? I'm home, babe."

She ran out of the bedroom, tears streaming. "You're late!"

"Hey, I'm sorry, Dad needed my help with the fence and I couldn't leave in the middle."

"Nate, I was so scared. Anything could have happened to you." She buried her face in his shoulder and held on tight.

He led her over to the couch and held her until she stopped crying. "I'm sorry you were scared, but I wasn't that late." He kissed her forehead. "I need to take a bath. Come talk to me while I do that." He led her around by the hand, filling buckets, and finally listening to Jenny's story as they both relaxed in the tub.

"So when you were late, it scared me. Ryan was late and now he's gone."

He sighed and pulled her close to his chest, his fingertips rubbing against her soft skin. "I'm sorry that happened to Jenny, but I'm here, and my intention is to be here every single night for the next sixty years at least."

"You'll be careful? I know you say I distract you but I need you to promise."

"I'll try my hardest not to be distracted by you, but seriously, babe. Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"This isn't funny," she mentioned as she laid her head back on his chest.

"I'm serious. I will always be totally and completely distracted by you, but I will be careful, I promise."

Satisfied, she sighed and turned her head to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you more," he whispered.

THE NEXT DAY, JACKSON'S APARTMENT

Theresa was nauseated. She tried not to get her hopes up, but she had missed her monthly about two weeks before.

"Terry, I have to go, Honey. I'll see you at lunch." He bent down to kiss her and walked out the door.

She drank her tea and ate some toast, trying to settle her stomach. Then she got dressed and walked to the restaurant.

"Oh! You look green, sweetheart. Feeling ok?" Abigail asked her.

"Not so much." She sat at the table in the kitchen and put her head down on her arms.

"Do you think you might be…?"

"I think so, but I'm not sure. I didn't feel this way before."

"That could be a good sign. Make sure you stay hydrated so you don't get dizzy. That could make the nausea worse."

She nodded and then flew out the back door to be sick.

"Sweetie, you go home and rest. I have things covered here."

"I'll be ok."

"If you start cooking and smelling food, you could get sicker. You need to rest."

Theresa gave in and went home and crawled into bed.

THE NEXT DAY

Maddie watched Nate get dressed, smiling at how cute he looked in his Levi Strauss denim pants. "What are you looking at, babe?" he asked, seeing her watching in the mirror.

"My adorable husband. You look so cute in these pants, honey." She stood behind him and smiled.

"They are more sturdy than other pants, so Dad got me a couple pairs."

"That was nice of him."

"Are you going to get dressed or are we walking separately today?"

"I'll get dressed and walk to the road, like always."

Twenty minutes later, they walked out the door, hand in hand. When they got to the fork, he wrapped his arms around her and gave her an extra long, deep kiss to last the day.

"I'll see you later," he mentioned, his voice filled with love.

"You better. I need you, Nate Carlin."

He kissed her again and then left her with a smile on her face.

THE THORNTON RANCH

"I was thinking of taking the boys camping," Jack mentioned as he watched Elizabeth feeding Kylie.

"That will be fun for them. When do you think you might leave?"

"Maybe tomorrow. We will just be gone over the weekend." She nodded as she pretended to eat Kylie's fingers, making her giggle.

Elizabeth sighed as she watched Kylie eating. She never felt such finality before, but she had the strangest feeling that Kylie was her last baby. Before, she would just have the need for another and, like magic, she would be pregnant. This time, she was pretty sure.

"What are you thinking about, babe?"

"Nothing much." There was no need to verbalize her feelings. She could deal with it.

"Tell me." She set Kylie on the floor and buttoned her dress.

"Go see Daddy, Kiki. Mama needs to finish getting ready."

"Elizabeth?"

"I'm fine, Jack. You don't need to worry."

Jack knew what it was. He had seen the longing in her eyes many times before. He stood in the door of the closet and looked at her.

"You're still young. Number ten could come along."

"No, I think I'm done."

"How do you know?"

"I just have a feeling."

"We could still have fun trying." He grinned at her and she walked past and kissed his cheek.

"I'll go make breakfast." He grabbed her hand.

"Elizabeth, you ok?"

"Of course. Just feeling old I guess."

"You're not old."

"I'm a grandmother of three."

"You are thirty eight. Maggie and Abigail both had babies in their forties. You could have a couple more before you're done."

"I'm almost thirty nine and what if you're wrong?"

"Then you have nine wonderful, amazing children."

She nodded. "Of course I do."

He put Kiki down and kissed her gently. "And you have me."

"Thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do without you."

REGINA

Caleb sat in Swift's office, awaiting word on what his assignment would be starting in August. He'd been sitting there for what seemed like forever, but was in reality, about thirty minutes.

"Ok, Thornton." Swift walked in, no apologies, just straightforward speech. "I am recommending you for a posting in Fossil Canyon, about two hundred miles west of here."

Caleb nodded. He knew that was northwest of Harris Town, but only about a days train ride. So, it would be easier to see family.

"You are expected there by August 15th."

"Yes, sir. May I ask a question?"

"Go ahead."

"What situation am I moving into?"

"The details I have are minimal. Their town is small and needs law enforcement. I don't know how much crime there is as of now. I have requested more info from the mayor, but it's slow coming."

"What about housing for my family?"

"Here's the thing. There is limited space as far as vacant housing. The mayor mentioned a jail cell and a possible room above the town store."

"Sir, with all due respect, a jail cell is not acceptable for my family. What other options do I have?"

"Frankly, Thornton, you may not know what you're in for until you check it out for yourself. It may involve leaving your family here until you can make acceptable arrangements."

Caleb closed his eyes, envisioning the reaction Amy would have when he told her. "Thank you, sir."

"Look, Thornton. I understand your family situation and I sympathize, however, I'm recommending you because I trust you. At nineteen years old, you are one of the most capable cadets I've ever had the privilege to know. Honestly, when I watched you screw up something as simple as making your bed that first day, I had my doubts. Now, you have proven yourself, and I back you one hundred percent."

"Thank you sir."

"Dismissed." Caleb stood, saluted, and left the room.

As he walked to the dorms, he thought about how he would tell Amy that he would need to move without her and the babies for a time. He had two days to plan his words and then he would need to tell her.

HARRIS TOWN

Theresa left the doctors office and walked straight to the bank to see Ben.

She entered the building and was greeted by the teller. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Jackson."

"Hi, George. May I speak with Mr. Jackson, please?"

"Sure thing, ma'am. Go on back."

"Thank you."

Theresa knocked on her husband's office door.

"Come in."

"Hi," she greeted with a smile.

"Well, to what do I owe this wonderful surprise?"

"I need to speak with you. I was hoping you might be able to come home early."

"I think that can be arranged. Any particular reason, sweetheart?"

"Yes, but you'll find out when you get home."

"A mystery? Hmm. Ok. I'll see you in about an hour."


	40. Chapter 40 - Family

Ben walked into the apartment and smelled something wonderful.

"Terry? What smells so good?"

"A new recipe. Beef stew with dumplings."

He reached around her, standing as close as possible, and looked in the pot. "What are dumplings?"

"You'll see." She turned and hugged him. "Why don't you go change and I'll set the table?"

"Deal." He kissed her cheek and then walked away.

About ten minutes later, he emerged from the bedroom and they sat down to dinner. Ben took her hand and blessed the food and then dug in.

"Oh, sweetie. These dumpling things are so good."

"Good, I'm glad."

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you."

He set his fork down and grabbed her hand again. "I'm sorry, I completely forgot. What is it?"

"I'm pregnant." She grinned from ear to ear.

"You are? That's great!"

"You really think so?"

He scooted his chair back and pulled her gently to his lap. "Of course I do." He placed his palm on her flat tummy and closed his eyes, thanking God for the incredible chance they'd been given to be parents and for his amazing wife.

"You are the sweetest man, Ben Jackson." She leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you so much."

They stayed like that, holding each other and talking for the next hour, eventually eating, but more concerned with enjoying the prospect of being parents.

THORNTON RANCH

"Camping? What's that?" Jay asked.

"We are going to go sleep outside and go fishing and tell stories around a campfire," Drew said, excitement in his voice.

"Why?"

"Because it's fun," Jack told him. Jay had never actually fished himself, but Jack figured he would like it.

"Can I stay here, Dad?"

"With the girls?" Will asked.

"Yeah. I want to see Me Me."

Will looked at him like he was crazy which hurt Jay's feelings. "You're mean Will! That's why I don't want to go with you." Jay stood up and looked directly at his Dad. "Dad, I want to stay here. At least Me Me likes me."

Jack gave Will a look, but he just smiled and looked away.

"You know what, I wanted us to have fun because I haven't spent time with just my boys, but if you are going to act like that, Will, no one will go or maybe I'll take the girls instead."

"Will! Why do you have to ruin everything?" Drew asked.

Elizabeth walked in the room. "Drew, why are you yelling?"

"Sorry, Ma."

"Camping trip is off," Jack told her.

"Why?"

"Ask your son." He walked away, annoyed.

Jack walked into the living room and sat down next to Abbie who was pretending to read a book. "Hey, baby. You love me don't you?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "Yes, Daddy." She closed her book and hugged him.

Jack could always count on the love of his girls.

"Do you want to go camping with me?"

"Yes. Trip?"

"Yep."

"Ok, I go."

After everything was said and done, Jack, Em, Abbie, and Carlie went camping, leaving Will, Drew, Jay, and Kiki with their Mom.

REGINA

Caleb walked in his house, hearing laughing from the kitchen. The giggles of his children made things seem so much better.

"Hi, everybody," he said when he walked in the room.

"Dada home!" Mason yelled running over to him.

"Hi, Mase. I missed you."

Amy watched Caleb. He had something on his mind.

Meri wandered over and hugged his knees and Logan hesitantly took a step and then plopped down onto his bottom.

After he decided to just sit on the floor with them, Amy joined them. "Caleb? You ok?"

"Yeah. We need to talk once the kids are in bed."

She guessed it had to do with where his posting would be. Now, she was nervous.

After dinner, they read to the kids and Amy nursed Logan to get him to sleep. They took the twins to the nursery and then Logan to their room and then started water for a bath.

After a while, Amy spoke. "Did you get your assignment?"

"Yes." He hesitated to say more, because the whole idea of leaving his family alone scared him.

"Caleb? Where are they sending us?"

"Me."

"What?

"I have to go first to make sure I can secure housing."

"Where are you headed?"

"Fossil Canyon. It's a day train ride from Harris Town. I think you should stay there with the family until I let you know you can come."

"So you'll take me to Harris Town and then travel to Fossil Canyon?"

"No. I can't go with you. I need to be in Fossil Canyon by August 15."

"How am I supposed to get two toddlers and a baby to Harris Town by myself?" She sat forward and then got out of the tub. "Swift knows you have a family. Why is he doing this?"

"Ames, he trusts me. He said he's never been more proud of a cadet than me. I actually heard praise come out of his mouth. I can't let him down."

Caleb finished his bath and went to find Amy.

"I guess I need to just get used to this. Mountie life is not easy. I know this," she said quietly.

"But?"

"But I don't know how I will do it."

THE NEXT DAY

"I'll go with you," Lily offered.

"I don't think your parents would want you to leave them."

"I'm eighteen, Amy. I love you and the children. They make me happy. This is what I want to do. I don't want to just stay here and wait for a Mountie to sweep me off my feet. I don't want to marry a Mountie. I want to live my own life."

"What do you think your parents will say?"

"I think they will support me. I already live here most of the time anyway. It won't be much different."

"Except the hundreds of miles thing," Amy said with a laugh.

"Right, but if you say yes, that will help."

"I need you, Lily. Yes, please help me."

"When do we leave?"

"July 31st."

"I'll be ready."

HARRIS TOWN, MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

"I love Sundays," Maddie mumbled against Nate's chest. It was the only morning they could dawdle and sleep in.

"Me too, but we need to get up so we can go to church."

"Can't we stay home?" She snuggled deeper into his chest.

"We've missed every Sunday service since we got home from our honeymoon. We probably should go."

"You're right. Let's get up." Neither of them moved, however.

"One more week?" he asked quietly.

"Ok." They both fell asleep shortly after, content to be in each other's arms.

A couple hours later, they decided to get out of bed and make breakfast. "Nate, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Eggs with cheese and maybe some of the ham from last night?"

"Do you want toast?"

"Yes please."

They heard a knock on the door. Maddie adjusted her robe and opened the door. "Hi, Ma."

"Hi, babe. Sorry to show up out of the blue." Elizabeth noticed Maddie's robe.

"That's ok. Come in."

"Babe, who's at the door?" Nate walked in, shirtless, causing Elizabeth to blush slightly. "Oh, Elizabeth. How are you?"

"Good, Nate. I'm just here to invite you both to dinner tomorrow night."

"That's nice. We'll be there."

"Great. Um, enjoy your breakfast." Elizabeth kissed Maddie and walked out.

Maddie turned and looked at Nate. "Nothing like a visit from Mom to make you feel guilty about not going to church."

THE NEXT DAY

Em headed with Carlie to the store for items for that nights dinner. She also wanted to check the mail. She and Lee had been writing letters since the wedding and she always looked forward to them.

Learning about him was very interesting. For instance, when he was five years old, he had been kidnapped and her own Dad had helped find him and bring him back home.

The thought of a five year old being kidnapped broke her heart. That would be like someone around Jay and Abbie's age being stolen. She couldn't imagine.

"Morning ladies," Uncle Travis greeted them.

"Morning Uncle Travis," they said.

"What are you two up to?"

"We need some things for dinner."

"Ok, let me know if you need my help."

"Em, can we have spaghetti for dinner?"

"I think Ma wanted roast beef. How about tomorrow we have spaghetti?"

"Ok."

"Uncle Travis? Any mail?"

"Yep. All the way from Hope Valley just for you."

"Thank you."

"You've been writing to him for awhile, Em. Anything I should know?"

"Nope, I can't think of a thing." She smiled and stepped away. If she had been alone, she might have told him but Carlie was a bit nosy.

"Who sent you a letter, Em?"

"No one."

"I won't tell."

"Nothing to tell, Carlie. Let's get our things and go see Maddie."

"Ok."

REGINA

Caleb had arranged for tickets to Harris Town for Amy and Lily and the babies. The train would leave August 1st. They had two weeks to get organized and packed.

Amy was trying not to be overwhelmed, but with Caleb not there to help her, she was on the verge of tears often.

She had lists of things they needed to take and things they had to do without, or at least leave with someone until they had a home.

"Lil? Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Will you send a telegram to my parents and Caleb's letting them know we are coming? Also, we are out of eggs and milk again."

"Ok. I'm going to take Meri with me."

"I really appreciate it." Amy sat down and the tears fell.

"Amy? Maybe you should go and get out of the house for a bit."

"I have too much to do. I can't take the time right now."

"I will pack while you're gone. Trust me, you need this."

"I need Caleb. I need him to tell me everything will be fine. I need him to hold me and comfort me, but I can't have that." She wiped her eyes and sighed.

"Listen, I know I'm not the one you need, but you can rely on me. I am with you from now on or until you get sick of me." She winked and then hugged her.

"That's not likely to happen, Lil."

THAT EVENING, HARRIS TOWN

Elizabeth was helping Em cook when Maddie showed up.

"Hi, Ma."

"Hey sweetie."

"Need some help?"

"Actually, if you could get everyone's hands washed for dinner, we will be ready. Where's Nate?"

"He's coming from the ranch. He should be here soon." Maddie went upstairs to get the kids for dinner when she heard yelling from the boys room.

"Hey! What's going on?"

Will had Drew pinned under him, his fist pulled back, ready to hit Drew's jaw. "Will! Get off," Drew yelled, struggling to get out from under his brother.

Maddie stuck her head out the door and yelled for her Dad. He came in just after the first punch had been thrown.

Jack pulled Will off Drew and made him sit on his bed. "Stay there!" Drew had a bloody nose which Maddie quickly tended to.

After she handed him a towel for his nose, she left them with her Dad.

DOWNSTAIRS

"Maddie, did I hear yelling?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes. Will punched Drew."

"What!?"

"Dad is up there with them. I walked in and Will was on top of Drew ready to punch."

"I don't know what has gotten into those boys lately."

UPSTAIRS, BOYS ROOM

"William Thomas, you know that I do not allow hitting in this house! What is going on?"

Will sat, arms folded, not looking at his father.

"Andrew? Any ideas what might have caused this?"

Drew glared at his brother, holding his bloody towel against his nose.

"Look, since neither of you are going to speak, you're grounded for the rest of the summer."

"Whatever," Will mumbled.

"You don't believe me? Try me. No fishing, no leaving the house without permission, except to do your chores, which now include mucking stalls and grooming the horses."

"That's not fair!"

"Complain again, I will add more to your chore list. Apparently you both have too much energy. Guess the extra chores should help with that."

"Dinner!" Elizabeth yelled from downstairs.

"Oh, and no dinner. See you in the morning at dawn."

As he walked out Drew got angry. "I don't know why you don't keep your mouth shut, Will!"

"Andrew!" Jack boomed. "Stop."

"Yes, sir."

DOWNSTAIRS

Jack walked in the room and found everyone else there, except Nate. "Where's Nate?"

"Sometimes he's late," Maddie offered.

"Are Will and Drew coming to eat?" Elizabeth asked.

"They're grounded."

"They need to eat, Jack."

"Not tonight. They won't starve."

Nate walked in just after the prayer. "Sorry, I'm late everyone. I'll just go wash up and I'll join you."

When he came in a few moments later, he sat next to Maddie, and kissed her. "You look tired, Nate."

"I am." He squeezed her hand and then took the bowls of food being passed around the table.

"You're ok?"

"Yeah."

Travis walked in the room.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have a telegram for you all."

"Hey, Travis. Take a seat."

"No, Leesa is waiting on me. I just thought I'd drop this on my way home. Have a good night everyone."

Elizabeth opened the telegram. "It says that Amy and the kids will be moving back here while Caleb goes to his new posting. More details to follow." She folded the telegram and looked at Jack. "Is that common, Jack?"

"Since he hasn't been there before, he may need to see what he's getting into before he brings his family. Or it could be something as simple as needing to find a place to live."

"Well, whatever the reason, it will be good to see them."


	41. Chapter 41 - Together and Apart

THAT EVENING

After dinner and baths, it was finally time for bed.

"So what happened with the boys?" Elizabeth asked.

"Will punched Drew in the nose."

"But why?"

"They wouldn't tell me. Those two have been acting out lately."

"Yeah, I know. Did you ever get into fights with Tom?" He slid into bed next to her.

"All the time. Not until after my Dad died though. We just didn't get along. He accused me of always telling him what to do, and looking back, he was right. At the time though, I thought it was my job because I had promised to take care of him."

Elizabeth laid her head on Jack's chest and listened to his heartbeat as she drifted off to sleep.

REGINA

Logan was restless, the twins didn't want to sleep, and Amy was still overwhelmed.

Amy laid the whimpering Logan in his crib and left the room to step outside. Lily would tend to him if he didn't quiet soon.

She sat on the steps of the porch and stared at the stars, praying for strength and patience and help with the move. She asked that God keep her husband safe and bring them together again quickly.

Amy thought about how much they had as a family. They had been blessed with kind friends and a lovely home to live in. Lily, herself, was a huge blessing. Now, it felt like things were falling apart.

She knew that this was how it was going to be, but uncertainty had always bothered her. Not knowing how long they would be without Caleb or if he would find them a home. Not knowing how much danger he would be in. It all was weighing on her heart and mind. She just wanted to be in his arms.

The bright side of the situation was they were headed to Harris Town. They would have stability for at least awhile.

HARRIS TOWN

Maddie woke up with a familiar feeling that she had hoped wouldn't show for awhile. But it did.

"Babe? You ok?"

"Sure. Just don't feel well."

"Do you need a doctor?"

"No, it's just my monthly."

"Oh. Are you going to stay home from work?"

"No, it's not that bad. Just a headache and cramps."

"Do you want me to get a bath ready for you?"

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you." He kissed her softly and got up to start the water heating.

Maddie tried to ignore the twinge in her heart. She really wanted to be pregnant. Yes, they had only been married for seven weeks but the want was still there. She imagined a baby girl, with Nate's blonde hair and her greenish eyes.

"Babe, your bath is ready."

She stood up and nodded. "Thank you."

He saw the look on her face and decided she looked like she could use a hug. Once she was in his arms, he kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. "I love you, Maddie."

"I love you too." She sniffed, quickly wiped a tear away and walked into the bathroom.

Nate didn't think anything of the tears, at first. His mom had always been emotional around certain times. His Dad had always given his mom extra hugs around that time and it seemed to help from what he noticed.

However, when she came out of the bathroom, her eyes were rimmed in red and swollen. "Hey, come here." He held his arms out for her to walk into.

She bit her lip and smiled. "I'm ok, I promise. This is normal."

"Its normal for you to cry so much your eyes are red?"

"At certain times yes. I'll be fine, Nate. Thank you for worrying. We should go to work."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No, I don't feel good, so I'll wait a bit. Did you eat?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, let's go then."

LATER, THE CARLIN RANCH

Nate rode next to his Dad as they moved cattle from one field to the next.

"Nathan, you seem distracted. Please be careful. I don't want any more accidents."

"Yes, sir."

After another thirty minutes of silence, Brandon stopped his horse. "What's going on? What's on your mind?"

"Its kind of private."

"Oh ok. Well, let me know if you want to talk about it."

"I do. I just…it's sensitive."

"If it's about Maddie, maybe talk to your mom."

"Its ok. You're fine. I know that when Mom is emotional around her monthly you seem to give her extra attention."

"Yeah. She cries easily, so I just let her know I'm there."

"I tried that, but it feels like maybe something else is wrong. Her eyes were red and swollen. I just feel like she wasn't telling me something."

Brandon thought for a moment.

"Do you and Maddie talk about having children?"

"Yeah. We know we want them."

"Maybe that's what is bothering her."

"What do you mean?"

"When a woman gets her monthly, it means everything is fine, but it also means she isn't pregnant."

"Right." He wasn't putting the two together.

"Well, maybe Maddie was hoping that she would be."

Nate nodded and berated himself for not figuring it out. He should have realized. He should have asked.

"I'm going to head to the boarding house for lunch."

"Good idea."

THE BOARDING HOUSE

"Sweetie, give it time. Be patient. You will be pregnant when the time is right."

She knew what her Grandma was saying was meant to be helpful, but it wasn't.

"I'm done here. I'm going to go sit on the porch." She untied her apron and hung it on the hook.

As she stepped out onto the porch, she saw Nate riding up on Hank, his horse.

"Hey, babe." He took his hat off, ran his fingers through his hair and smiled. Something about his disheveled look gave her a fluttery stomach.

"Good gracious, Nate Carlin. How did I get such an adorable man for a husband?"

He walked over and kissed her, wrapping her up in his arms.

"Mmm..um Nate. We're outside."

"You are so smart." He kissed her again, slowly, taking the time to caress each of her lips with his.

"I meant that people can see."

"I want people to know how much I love you."

"What are you doing here?"

"I missed you and I thought this morning you seemed like you could use a little cheering up."

"Well, you certainly did that."

"Good. Let's sit for a minute." They sat on the swing and joined hands. "Now, I felt like you were pretty upset this morning. I would love to know why."

"Its not a big deal."

"It is to me. You are my wife and if something is wrong or hurting you, I want you to tell me."

She sighed and put her head on his shoulder. "I want a baby." The simple act of saying the words, brought on the tears again. "I'm a patient person, but knowing I'm not pregnant yet, was hard to face this morning."

He started to open his mouth but she stopped him, placing her fingers on his lips.

"Please don't say to be patient or that it will happen. I already know that. It's not helpful." She stood up and looked out at the street. "Give me a few days, and I'll be just fine."

REGINA

Amy was packing the living room when she heard the door open. "Mason!" He had figured out how to open the door by standing on his tip toes. At one point he had made it onto the porch before she realized.

"Its me, babe," Caleb told her. "Why did you call for Mason?"

"Because your genius son figured out how to open the door." She kissed his cheek and smiled. "You're early."

"I'm off the rest of the week. Swift was feeling generous."

"That's the best news I've heard in awhile. I missed you, love."

He took her for a stroll over to the couch. "So, are the kids sleeping?"

"Yes, but Mason also figured out how to climb out of the crib." He gently laid her back on the sofa with him, holding her close. "Lily is still here too."

"Lets take a nap."

"I don't have time, Caleb. I need to keep packing."

"I'll help you later. I just need you next to me right now."

Honestly, packing could wait. She needed him right where he was. It made her heart happy.

Caleb stayed until Sunday night. By the time he left, almost everything was packed. He wouldn't be returning before they left for Harris Town so when they said goodbye, it was for an unknown amount of time.

"I will send you letters and telegrams as often as I can." She nodded as he peppered her face with kisses and then met her lips with a long, slow embrace.

"I'm scared," she whispered. "I need you to be safe. Please be careful." He dried her tears and wrapped his arms around her.

"I will, Ames. I promise." He stepped back to say goodbye to the kids. He sat on the floor when Lily brought them in.

The twins could sense the sadness in the room. They ran right into their Daddy's arms and held on.

"Dada bye?" Mason asked. "No bye."

His emotions took over. Tears streamed as he continued to hold his children. "No bye," Mason continued to say.

"I love you both. Give me kisses." They kissed his cheeks and then wandered over to Lily.

Logan crawled over from his Mom to Caleb.

"Hi, buddy."

"Dada." He smiled, patting Caleb's face and giving him an open mouthed kiss to the chin.

Caleb laughed and then stood up, needing to get back to the dorm.

He handed Logan to Amy and kissed her once more. "Love you."

"I love you."

TWO WEEKS LATER, HARRIS TOWN

Jack, Will and Drew, and Kevin met the train as it pulled into town. The boys were needed to help carry things since Caleb wasn't there to help, plus Jack could keep an eye on them.

As the train stopped, Jack watched as Kevin went to greet his daughter first.

She stepped off the train with Logan in her arms. "Dad!"

"Hi, honey!" He hugged her and then took Logan. "Look at you. Such a big boy."

Lily exited the compartment with a twin on each hand. Mason was anxious to run to Amy but she held his hand tight. "Hang on, buddy. I don't want you to get lost."

"Mama!" Amy walked over and grabbed him to make it easier on Lily.

"Mase, let's go see Papa." They walked over to where the men were. "Lily, this is my Dad, Kevin Thomas, and Caleb's Dad, Jack. This is also Will and Drew, two of Caleb's brothers. Everyone, this is Lily Powell."

As they drove through town awhile later, Travis stopped them outside the store. "Amy!"

"Hi, Travis."

"Letter for you."

Amy took it and smiled. "From Caleb. Thanks Travis."

"Dad?"

"Yes?" both Kevin and Jack said in unison.

"Sorry, I meant Jack."

"Yes, honey?"

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Will you take a picture of me and the kids to send to Caleb, please? I think he would like that since we aren't with him."

"Absolutely."

"Thank you." She held the letter in her hand tightly, hardly able to wait to see what it said. She would wait, though. When the kids were in bed and she was sitting in her own bed missing him.

Kevin drove the wagon to his house, where they would be staying.

Jack and the twins carried the cribs and trunks in while Kevin rebuilt the cribs, placing them in the babies nursery.

"Dad? Would you mind moving Logan's crib into my room? I feel better having him with me."

"Of course, sweetie." Kevin took Drew and the both of them moved it across the hall. "Amy, how are you doing?"

"I'm not sure. I'm scared but I'm also grateful for you and Mom and Lily, and I miss him so much. I just don't want him to get hurt. I don't know what his commanding officer was thinking, sending a new Mountie into an uncertain circumstance. They don't even know how dangerous it is! What if he…I can't lose him. I need him, Dad."

Jack walked by and Kevin stopped him. "Jack, is it usual for a brand new Mountie to be sent into an unknown situation?"

"Yes and no. If the Mountie has proven himself trustworthy and able to handle himself in tough situations and if he is known for keeping his head and not prone to using force unnecessarily, then yes. From what I've heard about Caleb, his CO sang his praises and pulled strings to get him stationed there, so he must trust him." Amy wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. "Amy, Caleb has to start somewhere. He is smart and he keeps a level head."

"I'm not worried about him keeping a level head, Dad! What about the other guy? What if the other guy shoots without warning or…"

Jack put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from continuing on that path. "Amy, listen. My first assignment was difficult and I only had myself to worry about so I may have taken unnecessary risks. Caleb has you and your children. He will keep calm and will watch out for himself because he knows that you need him."

"I do! I need him so much." Jack nodded and pulled her into his arms.

"So do I. The last thing I want is to lose another child. The first time nearly destroyed me."

"Dad, you really think he will be ok?"

"I do."

MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

"Lets get dressed up and go out to dinner," Maddie suggested.

"Ok. That sounds fun."

So they did. Nate dressed in his suit and tie that he wore when they got married and Maddie chose Nate's favorite dress of hers, the navy blue dress she made for Christmas the year before. She also wrapped the shawl he gave her that same Christmas around her shoulders.

"You look beautiful, Maddie."

"Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself."

He offered his arm and they walked slowly to town, taking a few moments to walk by the stream.

"Sunday, after church we should go fishing. We haven't gone in a long time," he suggested.

"Sure. Then you can clean the fish and I'll fry them up."

"Deal. I still think you need to practice cleaning them."

"Maybe one day." Yes, she could clean a chicken, but fish were different. "Since I have my big, strong, amazing husband to do it for me, I don't have to." She stepped close and kissed his cheek.

He shook his head and smiled. "Yes, dear, but I'm pretty sure you don't have to be big or strong to do it."

"In our house you do." He leaned down and kissed her.

"Making up rules, babe?"

"Mmhmm." She grinned and then grabbed his hand. "Lets go eat."

THOMAS HOUSE

Amy sat on her bed and hugged what would be Caleb's pillow. She wished it smelled like him.

She got up and walked to the dresser to get one of his shirts she brought with her. She slipped it on over her nightgown and then got back in bed.

Before she shut off her lamp, she opened his letter.

AMES,

I LEAVE TODAY FOR FOSSIL CANYON. SWIFT BRIEFED ME YESTERDAY ON MY ASSIGNMENT. THE TOWN IS TINY, THE POPULATION IS AROUND FIFTY PEOPLE. HOW CHALLENGING COULD IT POSSIBLY BE? I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO TAKE OFFENSE TO SWIFT'S DECLARATION OF BEING PROUD NOW, OR TO BE GRATEFUL.

REGARDLESS, I MISS YOU WITH EVERY PIECE OF MYSELF, SWEETHEART. I HOPE I WILL ARRIVE THERE AND THERE WILL BE A VACANCY AND I CAN SEND FOR YOU. IT CAN'T HAPPEN TOO FAST IN MY BOOK.

GIVE THE BABIES KISSES FROM ME. I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART.

SEE YOU SOON,

CALEB


	42. Chapter 42 - Challenging Circumstances

OUTSIDE FOSSIL CANYON

Caleb stepped off the train and looked around. He was supposed to meet the stage and travel the final half day to Fossil Canyon.

"Constable?" the conductor said, walking up to Caleb. "Stage will be here in twenty."

"Thank you, sir."

Caleb thought about Amy and how difficult it would be to get everyone and everything to Fossil Canyon, even with Lily. They wouldn't be bringing the cribs, or at least, not more than one. He would either have to buy one or find someone to build one since he didn't have that particular skill.

Caleb thought back to what Swift told him about the assignment. No law enforcement. Small instances of theft from homes and the town store. Nothing serious but would it become more serious? Was it just teenagers having a bit of fun?

"Stage, Constable."

"Thank you." He grabbed his bags and walked toward it.

A few more hours and he would be home. His new, hopefully temporary, home.

THREE HOURS LATER

The stage pulled into a very flat town, no canyon in sight.

Caleb hopped down and scanned the area. A small mercantile. A telegraph office. A barber. A saloon. A jail. "Bingo," her muttered to himself.

He walked across the street and opened the door to the jail. "Not locked," he muttered again.

"New here, darlin'?"

Caleb spun around, surprised to hear a voice. What surprised him even more was seeing such a scantily dressed woman in the doorway. "Excuse me?"

"I said, are you new?" She walked in, running her fingertips along his dust-covered desk, inching ever closer to him.

He stepped back. "Yes. Your name is….?

"Diamond Withers. You can call me, Di, handsome." She smiled, looking up through her eyelashes at him, bending over slightly, giving him an unwanted view of her ample chest that was dangerously close to falling out of her dress, if you could call it that.

"Miss Withers, I'm Constable Thornton."

"Hmmm. A Mountie. You're a young one, aren't you?" Her eyes roamed his body, making him uncomfortable.

"That hardly matters when I'm here to do a job."

"Are you now? Like what?"

"I heard about a few things that concern me."

"Such as….?

"Theft, for instance."

She laughed. A deep laugh that echoed through the jail. "Theft? A few kids stole a bottle or two of milk and they send a Mountie?"

"So, I need to get back to work, Miss Withers."

"Work? You just got here, darlin'. I think you could use a couple shots of whiskey. Put some hair on that chest." She walked over to him, and put her hand on his chest.

"Ma'am, just so you know, I am married. Happily married." He moved her hand and dropped it.

"Your point, Constable?"

"That I will not be spending time with any other woman except my wife. Including you."

"Being married doesn't stop any other man in this town from…spending time with me or my girls," she said proudly.

"It stops me. Good day, Miss Withers."

"Where is your wife, Constable?"

He didn't answer. She didn't need any details.

"Remember, ask for Di when you come for that whiskey. I'll be waiting."

She winked and swung her hips as she walked out the door, looking back over her shoulder to see if he was watching. He wasn't. He had already started looking around the jail.

Caleb noticed two jail cells. He would use one of them as his bedroom and the other, if he needed to detain someone.

He changed clothes and then walked to the telegraph office to send a telegram to Mountie HQ and Amy.

THAT EVENING, MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

Maddie sat on the couch reading Pride and Prejudice. She had a different prospective on love now that she was married. The book took on a new life.

"Babe? The bath water is ready."

"Thanks, hon." She stood up, reading as she walked. She walked into the bathroom and set the book on the sink, reading as she undressed.

Nate walked in, ready to join her. He removed his shirt, gazing at her standing in just her underclothes, her eyes still on the words. "Maddie?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to get in first, or would you like me to?"

"Oh, I was going to take a bath by myself. I just want to finish a few chapters."

"Oh, ok. I thought we could light a candle or two and spend the time together."

"That would be nice. Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Sure." He grabbed his shirt and stepped out of the room feeling a bit unneeded.

After thirty minutes of waiting with no sign of his wife, he shut off his lamp and turned over to go to sleep.

Maddie came out of the bathroom completely relaxed. She blew out the candle he left burning on the dresser and climbed into bed, snuggling up behind Nate, her arms wrapped around him, her chin resting on his shoulder.

"Night, Nate. Love you." When she didn't get a response she peeked at his face assuming he was asleep. He wasn't. He just felt neglected.

He gently moved her arms and sat up, leaving the room. "Nate?" She followed him out to the living room a few moments later. "Are you mad?"

"I don't know. There's nothing for me to be mad at."

"Well, I didn't think so either."

"I guess I feel neglected."

"Why? Because of the bath?"

"You've had your nose in that book all night, barely looking at me." He felt like a pouty child, but so be it.

"I guess I did. I'm sorry."

"I mean you've read it a hundred times, Maddie. Nothing in that book has changed."

"Actually, things have changed."

"Like what?"

"Like I married my best friend and I can relate to the characters and how they feel about each other differently than before." She grabbed his hand. "Sweetie, I'm sorry I was in my own world tonight. Forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive. It wasn't a big thing. I just wanted to be with you after the day I had."

"Well, if you want, we can go to bed and you can tell me about your day."

FOSSIL CANYON, THE JAIL

Caleb sat against the cement wall in his cell. He chuckled at the whole thing. No featherbeds here. His wife and children were miles away. A woman, a saloon girl, seemed to take a liking to him, even after he let her know he was married. He found out that, in fact, the theft from the store was a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread.

The whole thing was absurd, and yet he knew he had to start somewhere. He was grateful he hadn't been thrown into the middle of a war or a bank robbery just yet.

He took out his paper and pen and wrote to his wife, telling her what happened as if she were right next to him, where she belonged.

HARRIS TOWN, THE NEXT MORNING

Jenny Matthews walked down the dirt street with her three year old son, Cam holding onto her fingers. "Mama, horse!"

"Yes, baby." Cam got excited about any animal, even if he saw them every single day. Like the horse.

Jenny and Cam had been in town for a little over a month and Jenny's money was about to run out. Before she had allowed the men from the stage coach to bury her husband, she had taken his wedding ring and money clip from his pocket.

She literally had fifty cents to her name now. Staying at the boarding house was comfortable and reasonably priced, but she paid month to month. Now, she was expected to pay in another week and she didn't know where the money would come from.

"Hey! Look out!" a voice shouted from behind her. She stopped just before a horse and rider trampled her and Cam.

"I'm sorry!" she called after the rider, her heart pounding in her chest. "Mama needs to pay attention, Cam."

"Yes, mama."

As Jenny and Cam entered the store, she looked around for some type of area where people advertised jobs.

"Mr. Harris? Do you know of any jobs available?"

"Good morning, Mrs. Matthews. Let's see…jobs? Cam looking for a job is he?"

"Very funny. No, I am."

"What skills do you have?"

"I don't know. I'm a good mom, does that count?" She chuckled at her own silliness.

"It counts, absolutely, but maybe not in the job hunting world. Can you cook?"

"Yes, not extremely well, but some."

"Maybe go see Abigail at the restaurant. She may need some help."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris."

THE RESTAURANT

"I'm sorry, Jenny. I don't have any jobs in the kitchen, but I do need a waitress. Would you be willing to do that?"

"Yes! I just need to figure out what to do with Cam while I work."

"I work, Mama!" He grinned up at her.

"You?" She picked him up and kissed his cheeks. "Wouldn't you rather play?"

"No, I work wif you!" His grin turned serious.

"We'll see, Cam." She looked at Abigail and smiled. "Thank you so much. When can I start?"

"Tomorrow noon?"

"I'll be here."

Jenny left the restaurant with a little bit of hope. As she walked to the boarding house she thought about who could possibly watch Cam. She still didn't know many people in town. She knew Elizabeth Thornton who, with seven children at home, wouldn't have time for one more. Charlotte might do it, but the more obvious choice would be Maddie.

When they walked back in the boarding house, they walked to the kitchen.

"Hi, Jenny," Charlotte greeted.

"Hi, Charlotte. Is Maddie around?"

"She's upstairs changing the sheets in room six."

"Ok, great. Thank you."

Jenny left Cam with Charlotte for a few minutes and knocked on the door to room six.

"Come in!"

"Hey, Maddie."

"Hey, Jenny."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Can you untuck that sheet for me?" Jenny pulled the sheet off.

"I got a job working for Abigail at the restaurant."

"Oh! That's great. What are you going to do with Cam?"

"That's my question. I know you are busy here, but would you watch him for me?"

"I'm not always busy, and I watch my brothers and sisters here all the time. I would love to watch him."

"Can you start tomorrow?"

Maddie stopped putting new sheets on the bed. Tomorrow was Saturday and normally it would be fine but she had the whole weekend off to spend with Nate. "Well, I need to check with my husband. We were going to spend the weekend together. He should be here for lunch and I'll ask him."

"Ok. Just let me know."

"I will."

A FEW HOURS LATER

Maddie was serving lunch to her Grandma, Cam, Jenny, and herself when Nate walked in.

"Hey everyone."

"Hi, Honey." He walked over and kissed her, patiently waiting for a hug.

She put the last plate on the table and grabbed his hand. "Can we talk for a second?"

"Sure."

She pulled him in the living room and then hugged him for a moment. "Tomorrow…"

"Oh yes. Breakfast in bed. Lunch in bed. Dinner in bed." He smiled and kissed her softly, teasing her lips.

"Well, that's what we need to talk about. See, Jenny got a job at the restaurant and she needs someone to watch Cam."

"You want to watch him?"

"I will be whenever she has to work. She starts tomorrow." The disappointment was clear on his face. "I didn't tell her yes yet for tomorrow, so if you don't want me to, I won't."

"I wanted to be with you tomorrow. Just us."

"I know. We can still be together."

"With a three year old." He looked at her face. She obviously wanted to help out her friend. "I'll leave it up to you. I'll go tell my Dad I can work tomorrow after all."

"What about lunch, Nate?"

"I'm not hungry." He kissed her cheek and left her there.

She walked back in the kitchen and sat down to eat with everyone.

"Where's Nate?" Charlotte asked. "I thought he was going to eat lunch with us."

"He was. He's going back to work." She took a spoonful of her chicken stew and pushed the bowl away. "What time do you need me to watch Cam tomorrow, Jenny?"

"Wait," Charlotte broke in. "I thought you took the day off to spend with Nate tomorrow."

"I did, but I'm going to watch Cam, Grandma."

"I can watch Cam. You be with Nate."

"That's ok. He's telling Brandon he can work." Maddie stood and dumped her stew back in the pot. "I'm going to go clean the bathroom."

THAT EVENING

Maddie waited for Nate to come home for dinner, but he didn't, so she kept a plate warm for him on the back of the stove.

She put the leftovers in the icebox and sat down to read, but she couldn't concentrate.

She assumed he was mad about their weekend plans, but she knew that he was aware that she and Jenny were friends and that when a friend was in need, she loved to help. That was the way she was raised.

After he was two hours late, she turned all but one lamp off and went in their bedroom to get ready for bed.

It wasn't like him to be hours late, but if something had happened to him, they would have come to get her.

She slipped one of his t-shirts over her head and climbed into bed just as the front door opened.

He walked into their bedroom and untied his shoes.

"Dinner is on the stove for you."

"I already ate." He stood with his back to her, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Why?"

"Mom offered so I took her up on it."

Maddie sighed and got out of bed to go put his plate away. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

She followed him in. "You're mad. I get it, but I always make you dinner."

"I'm not mad." He washed his arms and neck, using the soap she liked.

"You left without eating lunch, kissing me only on the cheek. You are over two hours late coming home and you ate dinner with your parents instead of me, when you knew I would be waiting. Sounds like you're mad to me." He stared back at her in the mirror.

"I'm tired. See you in the morning." He left the room and headed down the short hallway.

"Nate, stop. We can't go to bed without talking about this."

"Fine. We had planned this weekend since Monday. You and me, Maddie. Now, I'm taking second fiddle to a three year old. Yes, I'm irritated. Do you blame me?"

"Yes, I do."

"What?"

"I told you that I hadn't said yes to Jenny. All you had to do was tell me that you didn't want me to watch him. Instead, you walked off, leaving to tell your dad you were going to work. You could have told me no."

"And then what? Jenny couldn't work?"

"Grandma could watch him."

"You didn't tell me that was an option."

"You didn't ask!"

"Good grief, Maddie. I can't read your mind."

"I gave you a choice. You picked work."

"You picked work, Maddie."

They both sighed. Maddie turned off the lamp and climbed into bed, facing away from him.

He took his pillow and left the room to sleep on the couch.


	43. Chapter 43

Half way through the night, Maddie wandered out to the living room. "Nate," she said quietly. "Nate," she said louder.

"What?"

"We need to talk."

"It's the middle of the night."

"I know, but we can't do this. We can't fight and then sleep apart. We need to fix this."

He opened his eyes and sat up. His hair was sticking out making him look adorable. She resisted running her fingers through it.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Tell my why you're angry."

He stared at his hands for a moment. "It felt like instead of wanting to be with me, you chose something else," he admitted.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."

"Maddie, I want to be with you every second of every day and since we both work, we just have Sundays. This weekend though was supposed to be special."

"I know, Nate." She grabbed his hand and held it between hers. "That's why I came to you to ask if it was ok. I didn't say yes because I wanted us to talk about it first. The last thing I wanted you to feel was that I was choosing someone else over you." He squeezed her hand and sighed. "Nate, I love you. Please don't ever doubt that."

"I think I overreacted. Of course I know you love me." He pulled her close and hugged her for a moment. "I guess I better get used to sharing you or I'd be in bad shape when we have a baby."

She touched his cheek and then kissed him. "Come to bed. I can't sleep in there without you."

"What time do you have to watch Cam?"

"Just before noon."

"Ok. At least breakfast in bed is still an option."

A FEW HOURS LATER

Maddie opened her eyes and smiled. Nate was wrapped around her as if he had been drowning and she was the one thing that would save him.

The fight the night before had opened her eyes a bit. She saw his insecurities in a new light. She needed to always make sure that she made extra time for him, because he craved it. If she was honest, she craved him too.

His eyes popped open and looked directly into hers. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi." She snuggled closer and kissed his neck. "So what time do you need to go to work?"

"I'm not. I didn't tell my Dad anything."

"That's good. I want you with me and Cam. Maybe we can go down by the stream."

"Ok. That sounds good. Do you think he would want to see our horses at the ranch? Oh, and Dad got a new pig."

"Jenny says he loves animals. We should do that."

FOSSIL CANYON

Caleb woke up, put his uniform on, and hopped on his new horse, Rabbit. The Force sent the horse to him. As strange as a horse named Rabbit sounded, the creature was majestic looking. He was large, which was good for a man Caleb's size. He was a dark shiny black reminding Caleb of Sargent. They were still getting used to each other but he felt like Rabbit would be perfect for the job.

Caleb rode on the outskirts of town, checking on the homes in the area, making sure everything was as it should be.

This particular day, he rode a bit further from town and found an abandoned cabin. It had a dilapidated barn behind it and a broken fence to the side.

He hopped off Rabbit and placed his hand on his revolver as he knocked on the door. When he knocked, the door swung open, creaking. "Anyone home?" he shouted. He received no response. He went into the small back bedrooms, of which there were two, and only found a few mice, broken windows, and cobwebs.

He left the cabin through the door and crept around to the barn. He was careful when he walked into the barn. It looked like the slightest breeze would knock it over. "Hello?"

It truly was abandoned. As he finished his rounds he made some decisions.

He walked into the telegraph office and sent a telegram to HQ in Calgary, hoping to hear back quickly. If he did, he would be on his way to having his family join him and that was all he wanted.

HARRIS TOWN, RESTAURANT

Theresa started cramping as she stood making the specials for the day. "Oh gosh!" She bent over and grabbed the counter. "Abigail!"

"Honey, what is it?"

"The baby. This feels like before. I need a doctor. I need Ben!"

Abigail sent Jenny to get the doctor and Ben, all the while watching Theresa closely.

She was taking deep breaths and trying not to panic, but her heart was breaking.

Ben rushed in and carefully scooped Theresa into his arms, taking her down the street to their apartment. "Ben, I can't do this again," she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Honey, just relax if you can. The doctor is on his way." He set her on the bed and propped pillows up behind her back. He tried not to think of how devastating it would be to lose the child she was carrying. He decided to just pray.

He sat next to her on the bed, praying quietly in her ear.

The doctor came and examined her. "Mrs. Jackson, I only see minimal bleeding. You haven't lost the baby." Theresa and Ben just sighed. "As of this point, complete bed rest is a must, considering your miscarriage last year. Drink lots of fluids. Eat enough for yourself and this baby. No getting up except to use the bathroom. I will come check on you this evening. If anything changes, come get me, Ben."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Ben closed the door behind the doctor and removed his suit jacket, pocket watch, vest and finally his shoes.

"Ben, you don't have to stay. I'm ok now."

"Terry, there is absolutely no way I am leaving you right now."

"You have to work."

"The great thing about being the president of the bank is I can make my own schedule."

"Well, in that case, would you get me some water?"

"Yes, be back in a moment."

As he was in the kitchen, he heard a knock at the door. "Abigail, come in."

"Hi, how is she? Is the doctor with her?"

"He just left. She's on strict bed rest now. No getting up except to use the bathroom."

"So the baby is ok?"

"Yes, right now it is."

Abigail noticed Ben's eyes fill with tears. "How are you, Ben?"

"Me? I'm fine. I just need to get this water to Terry." He looked away, blinking quickly.

"Ben, you are a good husband and you will make a wonderful father." He didn't have a father growing up so he wasn't as confident as his mother-in-law was. "I will bring meals to Theresa and you everyday. Before you say it's not necessary, I know that it is. She's my daughter and I want to help take care of her. I'll bring dinner in a few hours." She kissed his cheek and left.

He sat at the table for a moment, trying to get a hold of his emotions. After five minutes or so he walked back into the bedroom and handed Terry the glass of water.

"Thank you." She looked him as she sipped from the glass. "Ben, are you ok?"

"I'm not worried about me."

"I am. I can tell you're upset, sweetheart. I'm going to be ok, though." He sat in the chair next to the bed and stared at his hands. "Ben, come here." He crawled over her legs and laid down, wrapping his arms around her. She moved his hands over her tummy and held them there. "I'm going to do everything I can do to keep our baby safe." She felt him start to shake as he started crying, his tears dampening her cheek. She turned toward him and kissed his lips, holding his face in her hands. "It's ok."

"I was so scared, Terry."

"Me too, but whatever happens, we will get through it together."

FOSSIL CANYON, THAT AFTERNOON

Caleb looked up when he heard the knock on the jail door. "Constable, I have a telegram for you. Calgary, Mountie HQ."

"Thanks Walter."

Caleb opened the telegram.

TO: CONSTABLE CALEB THORNTON

FROM: SERGEANT T. BRADFORD HAWKINS

NO EXTRA HOUSING WILL BE PROVIDED AT THIS TIME.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INQUIRY.

SGT HAWKINS

"My family can't live in the jail," he muttered to himself.

"Good to see you, Mountie. I've yet to meet that wife of yours." Diamond walked in, a lace shawl wrapped around her bare shoulders.

"Do you need some help, Miss Withers?"

"I could think of some things you could help me with," she said flirtatiously.

"Miss Withers…"

"Di," she corrected.

"Miss Withers, I need to take care of some things so if you'd excuse me…"

"Now, I know you're just playing hard to get…"

"No, actually. I'm not playing anything. I am married and I have three children. They are still waiting for me to send word that they can come live here but that's not happening like I'd like it to. So, unless you know of some house for rent or for sale at a reasonable price around town, there is absolutely nothing you can help me with. Now, good day, Miss Withers."

Caleb stood up and opened the door, berating himself for allowing the woman to get to him.

As she walked out the door, she stopped and looked at him, a serious look on her face. "What's your wife's name?"

"Amy."

"Amy is lucky to have you, Constable, as are your three children."

THE THOMAS HOUSE

"Hey, Mason, do you want to try to go potty?"

He had shown interest previously whenever someone else used the toilet. She thought it couldn't hurt to try.

"Ya, Mama." He nodded, running to the bathroom.

Amy pulled down his pants and unpinned his diaper, setting him up on the potty.

"Me go, Mama." After a successful attempt, he smiled and clapped his hands.

"Yay, good boy!"

Meri stood watching from the door way. "Meri, wanna try? Mason did it."

"No, Mama."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and then ran off.

After washing his hands, Mason scampered off into the other room, Amy following him.

"Gamma, me potty!" he told Maggie.

"You did!? Good boy Mason."

"May no." Mason couldn't say Meri so he called her May.

"Meri didn't go?"

"No."

"That's ok. She will when she's ready."

THE BOARDING HOUSE

Maddie and Nate walked Cam back to the boarding house that evening. "Mama! I saw piggy and horses! Big horses!"

"You did? Wow."

"Yeah. I want you now." He walked up to her and raised his arms.

"I'm here, buddy." She hugged him tight and smiled. "Thank you so much for watching him, both of you. I know you had plans."

"It's fine, Jenny," Nate assured her. "Cam was a good boy."

"That's good to hear."

A few moments later, Maddie and Nate were on their way home, hand in hand. "So…dinner in bed?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye.

"Mmm…and dessert."

Watching her husband play with Cam all afternoon, only deepened her desire to have a baby. She wanted it so badly she could taste it. "We don't have anything for dessert."

"You are the best dessert, babe. I don't need food."

Her cheeks turned pink and she squeezed his hand. She just shook her head at him, agreeing wholeheartedly with his statement. Food wasn't necessary.

FOSSIL CANYON

It was the beginning of October and Caleb was deep into his theft investigation. He had been in Fossil Canyon for almost two months and every week, another minor theft was reported to him. It was never in the same place twice and it usually involved food or clothing. He suspected it was just a needy child but proving it was another matter.

Because every place where the theft occurred was different, he couldn't predict the next one, which made it next to impossible to stop them.

One night, however, dressed in plain clothes, he hid in the alley between the mercantile and the telegraph office. He just watched and listened, hoping to hear or see a clue of some sort.

At about midnight, as he was almost ready to give up, he heard the shuffling of shoes not far from where he was positioned. He hesitated to look, not wanting to move and risk someone seeing him.

"Come on Pete, hurry up!" a child's voice whispered loudly.

"I don't want to do this!" Peter answered back.

"Mama said we need potatoes and I can't lift that plus the milk and bread. Don't let Pa down!"

"Stealing is wrong, Fred. If we get caught…"

"We ain't gonna get caught. That Mountie don't have a clue, Pa said so."

Caleb watched the two boys move closer to the mercantile and, using a barrel, hop up and raise the window wide enough for Fred to get inside. "Freeze!" Caleb shouted, scaring Peter who started to run. Caleb, however, had longer legs and caught him in no time. "Peter, what's your last name?"

"I ain't tellin' you NOTHIN!" Peter yelled.

Fred climbed back out the window and also attempted to run, but Caleb grabbed him easily.

He walked the two kicking and squirming boys back to the jail and locked them up. "You can't put us in jail! We're just kids!" Fred yelled.

"Who just committed an adult crime," he mentioned as he pulled the key from the metal door, putting them in his pocket.

"Our Pa ain't gonna be happy you locked us up, Mountie!"

"Hush, Fred," Caleb told him.

"You ain't my Pa! You can't tell us what to do!" Caleb looked at the boy, probably around ten years old. Angry. Resisting authority. His home life was probably not pleasant. Obviously their father hadn't taught his boys to respect authority.

"Actually, I can. Get some sleep boys."

THE NEXT MORNING

Surprisingly, Caleb hadn't heard a peep out of the boys. If he didn't know he had the only key to the cell in his pocket, he would have thought his inmates had escaped.

He walked out and smiled, the father in him enjoying the sight of small children sleeping soundly. It made him miss his family so much more. He had to stop himself from just letting them go and remember the reason why they were in there in the first place.

"Wake up boys!"

He heard both groan and cover their heads with their blanket. "Go away!" Fred yelled.

"No sir. Wake up. I need some information."

"We ain't tellin you nothin!"

"Fred, if you don't give me information, you'll just stay locked in there longer."

"Fred, just tell him," Peter told his brother.

"Hush up, Pete!"

"No, I want to get out of here."

"We will. As soon as Pa shows up." He had a wicked grin on his face, making Caleb wonder about their father.

"He ain't comin. He thinks we're useless," Peter told him.

"Just you. Not me."

"So Peter. I have some questions for you," Caleb started.

He pulled a chair over and straddled it, trying to appear less threatening to the boy.

"He's not talkin," Fred advised.

"You gonna let your little brother boss you around?"

"No! Not anymore. I don't want to be in jail. I never wanted to help him in the first place."

"Pete! Stop talking."

"No Fred!"

"How old are you Pete?" Caleb asked.

"Eleven."

"And Fred?"

"He's nine."

"Do you get enough food at home?"

"Yeah, when Fred steals it."

"Has he been the one stealing around town for the last few months?"

"Yep. Pa tells him where to go and tells him not to come home without whatever it is. That's why I know he's not comin. He said we're useless if we can't do something simple like bringing food home."

"Pete, does your Pa work?"

"He used to."

"What happened?"

"He got hurt. Now his leg won't work."

Caleb assumed he didn't have income, so he had his boys steal to feed his family. What a backwards way of caring for your wife and kids.

The boy was right. Their Pa never came for them, so Caleb arranged for an escort to another town where they could hopefully find a family that would take care of them.


	44. Chapter 44 - Figuring it out

FOSSIL CANYON

Caleb hopped on the stage. He was heading to his family, finally.

The last two months alone, had been the most trying, difficult time he had experienced in many years.

Four hours and he would get on the train and then by dinner time, he would be in Amy's arms. Granted, it was very temporary, but seeing her and his children was necessary for his sanity.

He decided to surprise her, knowing the look on her face when he walked in Kevin and Maggie's house would make the last two months almost worth it.

DINNER TIME, THOMAS RANCH HOUSE

Kevin walked up to his porch just as Caleb was about to knock. "Caleb! What are you doing here? Does Amy know?" He shook Caleb's hand and then pulled him in for a hug.

"No, I wanted to surprise her. Would you send her out to the barn in about five minutes?"

"The barn?"

"If you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind. I'll send her out."

Caleb walked out to the barn to wait and Kevin walked in the house to convince Amy to go the barn.

"Hey, Dad. Dinner is ready."

"Thanks, honey. Would you head out to the barn for me?"

"The barn? It's dinner time. Maybe after dinner."

"Trust me. There is something out there I want you to see."

"Right now?"

"Yes, please."

She looked at him like he had gone nutty but she took her shawl from the hook by the door and walked out the door to the barn.

She couldn't fathom why in the world her Dad wanted her to go to the barn, but she hoped it would be obvious once she walked in.

She looked around and didn't see anything obvious but when she turned to walk out, Caleb was blocking the door. "Hi, babe."

She was completely shocked. Her hand flew to her mouth. "Caleb?" He rushed toward her and picked her up, her feet now a foot off the ground.

"Ames, I missed you," he mumbled as she grabbed his face and kissed him breathless. "You are so beautiful," he whispered when they separated a few moments later.

She leaned into him, her head on his shoulder. "How long, Caleb?" Her breath caught as she tried not to cry.

"How long what, Ames?"

"How long until I have to let you go?"

"Two days. I go back the day after tomorrow." She nodded. "I know it's not long."

"No it's not." She stood on her toes and kissed him again. "I'm so grateful to have whatever time we can get."

They walked into the house and the dining room a bit later.

"Dada! Dada home!" Mason bounced in his chair, trying to get out of it. "Dada up!" Caleb picked him up and immediately started crying. To hold his son after so long was amazing.

"I missed you so much, buddy." Amy picked up Meri because she wanted him too and gave her to Caleb. "Meri, how are you, pretty girl?"

"Dada home," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

"Dada! Me potty!" Mason told him.

Caleb smiled and looked at Amy for clarification. "He went in the potty, not his diaper. He's pretty proud of himself."

"Good boy, Mason. I can't believe he's old enough."

"I know."

"It's so hard to know I'm missing them growing up." Amy nodded and dried a tear from his cheek.

"How long will you stay?" Maggie asked.

"I have to go back the day after tomorrow."

"That's not very long."

"No, ma'am. It's not, but it's all I have."

LATE THAT NIGHT

"Any progress on finding a place to live?" Amy asked him, snuggling closer into his chest.

He sighed and stroked the soft skin on her shoulder. "Not really. I thought that cabin was going to work, but I don't have the skill or money to fix it so it would be safe enough for us to live in."

"Caleb." He turned over so they were face to face.

"What?"

"I don't want to raise our children alone. They need you. I need you so much." She paused to breathe through her tears. "We have to figure this out."

"I know." She rolled away and sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping her robe around herself. "Where are you going?"

"To make tea. Do you want some?"

"No, but I'll come."

He sat at the table and watched as she silently made tea. She looked unbelievably beautiful in just her robe with her bare legs and bare feet visible.

"What are you thinking, babe?"

"That I don't think I can let you go again."

He stood and walked over to her, kissing her forehead. "We don't really have a choice."

"I could kidnap you and take you where no one would find us." He knew she was joking, but her face showed no signs of a smile.

"Where's your smile, sweetheart? I miss it."

She tried, but all that would come were tears. He kissed her slowly and deliberately, weaving his fingers through her soft, black hair. When he moved back, she smiled, unable to stop herself. "Good grief, I missed that."

He moved the tea kettle off the heat and scooped her up in his arms. "What are you doing?"

"Kidnapping my wife." He carried her into the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

THE NEXT MORNING

"I'm going to my parent's this morning and then to see Maddie and Nate and my grandparents. Why don't you come too?"

"What about the kids?"

"Your mom said she would watch them." Amy blushed watching Caleb dress, remembering the kidnapping she "endured" the night before. "What are you thinking about, Mrs. Thornton?"

"Nothing." She smiled and wrapped her robe around herself. "I need to feed Logan."

"One second." He kissed her thoroughly until she was pretty sure she couldn't stand on her own and then pulled away. "Ok, now you can go."

"Ok, husband, tonight, I kidnap you." She moved slowly past him, making sure she rubbed against him as she went, getting his attention.

"I look forward to it."

About an hour later, Logan was fed along with everyone else and Caleb and Amy were on their way.

"This is kind of like when we were courting," Amy mentioned.

"Just us, no kids, walking between houses," he said, finishing her thought.

"Stopping every so often to steal a kiss," she said, stopping and looking up at him.

"Oh, is that my cue?" He bent down and kissed her.

"I married such a smart man," she said teasing.

"You did." He kissed her again and grabbed her hand, resuming their walk. "I married you and that was the smartest thing I ever did."

A few moments later, they walked up to the front door and knocked.

"Caleb!" Carlie shouted. "Everyone, Caleb's home!"

"Hi, Carlie," Caleb said, hugging her and then laughing as she left them standing there.

Em, the twins, Carlie, and Jay showed up ready to leave for school. After many hugs and kisses, they left and Caleb and Amy went to find his parents.

Elizabeth was in the kitchen feeding Abbie and Kylie, oblivious that he was there.

"Ma?" Elizabeth's head snapped up, a huge smile forming on her face.

"Caleb." She stood up and hugged him. "What are you doing here?"

"I came back to visit everyone." Mostly Amy.

"You look good. Are you eating enough?"

"Yes, Ma."

"Did you find a place to live?"

"No, I'm sleeping in the jail."

"Just like your father."

"What's just like me?" Jack walked in and hugged his son. "Caleb, it's good to see you."

"He sleeps in the jail."

"It's fine for one person," Jack informed her.

"Yes, but he needs to find another option, Jack. He needs his family with him."

"Ma, Dad, I know what I need to do. There just aren't many options in town. I thought I had one, but it didn't work out."

"What option was that?" Elizabeth asked.

"There is an abandoned cabin and barn just outside of town. I asked for money from Mountie HQ to help me fix it up, but they declined."

"We can help," Elizabeth offered.

"I appreciate that Ma…."

"But you're going to be stubborn and fix it up yourself?"

"I don't have that skill. Yes, I would like to do that, but we'd be waiting forever if we waited on me."

"Why won't you let us help then?"

"Amy and the kids are my family. I am the one that needs to take care of them."

"And you, Caleb Thornton, are our family and we want to take care of you."

"If I was a child, I would accept your offer. I'm not, Ma. I'm almost twenty years old."

"You will always be my child, Caleb and your family needs you."

Amy walked out of the room and sat on the porch. She couldn't stay in the room or she would find herself agreeing out loud with his parents and she didn't want to fight with Caleb.

However, Caleb noticed she was gone and left the room where the emotions were escalating to find her.

KITCHEN

"Why are you and your son so stubborn, Jack? Can't he see she needs him? The children need him."

"Of course he sees it."

"Then why won't he let us help? They could be with him so much sooner."

"He wants to take care of them. They are his responsibility."

"He is mine!" She knew she was bordering on yelling but she couldn't help it.

"Not any more. Just like Maddie isn't mine. We have to let them go and grow up and take care of themselves." Jack could see her breaking down. For some reason, he thought the whole thing wasn't about Caleb. "Babe? What is this really about?"

"What do you mean?" She turned and started cleaning up the table.

"I know you, sweetheart. This doesn't sound like you. Caleb's been married for over three years." He watched her work and then it came to him. "This is about you, isn't it?"

"No."

He stopped her and turned her to face him. "Tell me."

"I know how it feels! When your husband's away and you need him, but he can't be there. It's so hard, Jack! His babies need him. Amy needs him."

He pulled her close. "They will be ok."

"Things happen. What if he gets hurt or worse, what if…?"

"Stop, babe. It's a possibility but not likely. He will figure out what to do and then she'll be with him."

"It happened to me, Jack. I thought I lost you more than once."

THE PORCH

"Why did you come out here?"

"It's peaceful out here."

"As opposed to in there?"

"Yes." He sat next to her and looked at her.

"I know what you're thinking, Ames."

"What's that?"

"You agree with my Mom."

"Why do you think that?"

"I know you. I know how hard it is on you to be here when I'm there."

"I don't want to fight with you, Caleb."

"Who's fighting? We're having a conversation."

"You leave tomorrow and if I tell you what I really feel, we will end up mad at each other instead of enjoying the time we have left."

"That answers that."

"I'm going to head home. I'll see you later." Amy stood up and walked across the field to her parents house.

Caleb watched her from the porch.

THE NEXT DAY

Caleb headed home, kissing his wife and children goodbye at the train station. They hadn't discussed the housing situation again. Amy knew her husband's opinion on the matter and she knew how stubborn he was. Caleb knew how Amy felt, but it didn't change his decision. However, it did help him figure out a possible solution involving the abandoned cabin.

When he pulled into town that evening, he headed to the jail to drop off his bags and then to the telegraph office.

"Hey, Constable. That was a quick trip! How's the family?"

"Great, thank you. I need your help with something, Walter."

"Name it."

"Do you know who owns that abandoned cabin north of town?"

"Technically, no one owns it. The fella who used to live there, died about five years ago. He wasn't a really handy guy so he didn't fix it up at all and he had no family and no one wants the place."

"I do. I need help fixing it up though. I only have my salary to put into it, so it will take awhile to make it nice enough to move my family into. Do you know of anyone who would be willing to help me?"

"I would! I could meet you there in the evenings and we could work on it."

"Are you sure, Walter? I don't want to take you away from your family."

"Constable, my only family, my wife, died ten years ago. I got no family left. I'd be grateful for the distraction, believe me."

"Ok then. Can we start tomorrow? I want to move my family in before Christmas."

"Yes, sir. We better go look at it now. Christmas will come up fast."

AT THE CABIN

Walter walked around the house, not speaking, just inspecting. Every so often he would say "hmm," or "Yes," but nothing more. Finally he spoke. "Well, Constable. This is going to take a lot to fix up."

"You mean money?"

"Yes, and time. To get it done by Christmas…I just don't know."

"What does it need?"

"A new roof, for starters. The chimney has a hole in it. Three new windows. Paint on the walls. The floor is in pretty good condition, but dirty. The porch needs a new railing and the bottom step is broken."

Caleb sighed but he refused to give up. He had to have his family with him. "Think Mr. Biggs at the mercantile will let me buy things I need on credit?"

"Can't hurt to ask."

"Anyone around here have lumber they can spare? We need a third bedroom."

"I can ask around. In the mean time, I'll help you, like I promised. Now, let's measure those windows."

For the next six weeks, Caleb, Walter, and surprisingly, some of the other men in town, helped get the house into shape. By the time Thanksgiving week rolled around, everything but the new roof was completed. The shingles were taking forever to arrive.

Caleb mourned the fact that he couldn't take the time to go home for Thanksgiving, but if he was going to get his family into their house by Christmas, he had to work as much as possible, even through the holiday.

Walter ate Thanksgiving dinner in the jail with Caleb, who he was becoming to think of as a grandson. The meal wasn't elaborate but the company was just what they both needed.

Thankfully, the shingles showed up the next day and the roof was completed by the end of the next week.

"Well, son," Walter said. "Looks like your family is coming home."

Caleb looked around, grateful for every bit of help he had fixing the place. He had shipped the lumber for the new bedroom in from Lee in Hope Valley, promising to pay monthly until it was free and clear. The roof, chimney, and windows were all fixed. He had purchased a brand new stove for Amy and had their furniture shipped in from Regina. It had cost a bit more than he wanted, but it meant they would be comfortable, so it was worth it. "I need to send a telegram, Walt."

"Yes, sir and I'm tickled to send it. I can't wait to meet Amy and the youngins."

HARRIS TOWN

Amy smiled with relief and a bit of nervousness when she read Caleb's telegram. They were finally going to their new home but the thought of traveling with three small children, even with Lily to help, was scary to think about.

Amy walked into the nursery where Lily sat cuddling the twins and Logan on her bed. "Hey, Lil."

"Hi."

"I received a telegram from Caleb. The house is ready."

"It is? When do we need to leave?"

"In the next week. I will purchase our tickets in town tomorrow." Lily looked at her friend's face and frowned.

"Are you happy, Amy? You sound unsure."

"I guess I've gotten used to having our families around. It's sad to leave but I am ready to finally be in my own home again."

"With Caleb."

"Yes, of course." It wasn't that she was unhappy about going to see Caleb. She just still held a bit of frustration that it took almost four months to get a house ready. The fact that they hadn't spoken about the situation before he left didn't help things. She knew that part was her fault and she felt guilty about it. "Would you watch the kids for me in the morning? I need to go see Jack and Elizabeth."

"Of course."

THE NEXT MORNING

Amy walked to town to get her and Lily's train and stage tickets and then walked back to the Thornton's to see her in-laws.

She walked in their door and straight to the kitchen knowing that's where Elizabeth would be. "Morning, Mom."

"Hi, sweetie. Are you hungry?"

"No, but I'll take some coffee if you have some."

"Of course." She poured a cup for Amy and gave her cream, knowing that's what she liked. "Something bothering you?"

"No. Well, yes and no."

Elizabeth chuckled and patted her hand. "What is it?"

"The house is done so we will be leaving Thursday."

Elizabeth was puzzled. "Aren't you happy?"

"I don't know." Amy stared in her coffee cup and tried not to cry. "I'll miss you and Jack and my parents. I'm so grateful to have had family around for the last few months. I guess I don't want to leave and go back to uncertainty."

"But you have a home, with your husband. It's not uncertain anymore."

"Parts are. When Caleb left, we weren't on the best of terms."

"Well, it's a little bit my fault. I shouldn't have pushed him to accept our help with your house."

"I don't blame you, Mom. I agreed with you. I just didn't talk to him about it. We have been separated so long, I think we forgot how to communicate."

"So when you go back, you'll find each other again."

"Yeah." Amy hoped it was as simple as that. Finding each other might be a little tricky with Lily in the house, though.


	45. Chapter 45 - Back to Normal

FOSSIL CANYON

Caleb waited at the telegraph office for the stage. He was actually nervous to see her. He didn't know what kind of reception Amy would give him. They hadn't been writing to each other much since he had left Harris Town last.

The stage rounded the corner and his nerves escalated. He didn't want them to be at odds.

"Dada! Me see you!" Mason called out the window.

"Hi, buddy!"

Caleb opened the door and reached for Meri and then helped Lily step down. "Hi, Lil."

"Hey, Caleb." She took Logan from Amy and then reached for Mason. Caleb reached for Amy with his free hand.

"Hi, Ames."

"Hi." She looked at him, wanting so badly to make everything right again. She just didn't know how to get there.

He wrapped his arm around her back and held her for a moment. "I love you," he whispered. She looked up at him. He kissed her briefly.

"I love you too."

"Constable! These yours?"

Caleb turned and looked. "The two trunks, the two suitcases, and the crib," Amy pointed.

"I borrowed a wagon, Ames." Caleb nodded his head toward the waiting wagon.

"Caleb! I'll help you," Walter offered walking out of the telegraph office.

"Thank you, Walt. Amy Thornton, meet Walter Redding. He is the telegraph operator. He also pretty much rebuilt our house."

"Mrs. Thornton, it's a pleasure. He exaggerates."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Redding."

"And who is this pretty little girl?" He took Meri from Caleb and tossed her in the air, making her giggle.

"That's Meredith, or Meri. That's her twin brother Mason, and Amy is holding their little brother Logan."

After the wagon was finally loaded, Lily sat in back with the twins and Logan and Amy sat up with Caleb.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at their cabin. Amy looked at it, grateful for all the work Caleb and Walt had done. "What do you think?" he asked her.

"It's nice."

Amy looked to the side yard, seeing a new fenced in area which would be perfect in the summer for a garden. As they walked in, she noticed their furniture from Regina and a new stove. She walked down the newly painted hall and opened the door, finding a small room, unfinished, perfect for a bathtub some day, she hoped. The last three doors showed one large bedroom, hers and Caleb's, and two smaller. It really was more than she thought he could provide on a Mountie's salary.

"Ames?"

"Yeah?"

"You're awfully quiet. Don't you like it?"

"Of course I do."

"Then what's wrong?"

"How did you pay for all this?" She turned and looked at him, expecting an answer, but not the one she got.

"I figured it out."

"You figured it out?"

"Yes, it was up to me and I figured it out."

She nodded and walked into their bedroom, slamming the door.

Lily took the kids into the nursery and shut the door so he would feel free to talk to Amy.

However, instead, he walked back outside and started bringing things inside. After that, she was still in their room so he put the crib together and carried it into the nursery to place next to the other one.

"Lil, would you mind feeding the kids? There's food in the kitchen. I need to spend time with Amy."

"Of course."

He walked across the hall to his bedroom and opened the door. Amy was laying on her side, facing the window.

"We're supposed to be a team," she said quietly.

"We are."

"No we're not. You live here. We've been apart for four months. Four months, Caleb!" She sat up, still facing the window.

"I know how long it's been."

"We promised to work together when it comes to money. How did you pay for this?"

"Which part?"

"The roof, the paint, the fence, the stove, the lumber to build the third bedroom and bathroom? That's a lot of money. What about the house itself?"

"The lumber came from Lee. I was going to make monthly payments but, you know Lee. He said it was his contribution to the cause."

"I don't understand why you let Lee help you but not our own parents? What about the rest?"

"It wasn't the same as them just paying for it. I ordered the lumber with every intention of paying him. The rest, I got from the mercantile."

"On credit?"

"Yes."

"So we're in debt?"

"Yes, just until I pay it off."

"How much?" When he told her the amount, she almost fell over from shock.

"How on earth did you think it was ok to do that?"

"I wanted you here. I don't care how much it is."

"Caleb, what if something happens to you? How am I supposed to pay that back?" She shook her head. "Are there any pregnant women in town?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because I need to work so I can pay that off faster."

"You have a job. You're a mom."

"Well, that job won't pay off the debt."

HARRIS TOWN, MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

Once again, she wasn't pregnant. It wasn't getting easier. Every month that passed, got more difficult to hide her disappointment, so she didn't bother.

The tears came regularly and Nate was at a loss as to what to do. He tried to comfort her but it didn't help much.

"Maybe you should see the doctor. You know, just to make sure everything is ok."

"Maybe." She wrapped her arm over his waist and listened to his heartbeat. "I just don't understand. I'm young and healthy. Mom and Amy both got pregnant right away, why can't I?" She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

He didn't have an answer. He just rubbed her back and kissed her forehead while formulating a plan to cheer his wife up.

FOSSIL CANYON

Dinner was quiet, except for the children. They didn't care that they were in a new place where nothing was familiar. They just ate and jabbered on as if nothing had changed.

Lily felt the tension and would have much rather had a place to stay out of the house so they could patch up what was broken.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," Lily told them.

"Me bed," Mason said with his mouth full of peas.

"Me bed," Meri repeated.

"When you're done, I'll take you."

Amy stood up and washed her plate and then came for Lily's.

Caleb stood and walked out of the room and into their bedroom, shutting the door.

"I'm sorry, Lil. Maybe coming here was a mistake."

"No it wasn't. You belong with your husband. Don't you see all he has done for you? Sometimes I don't recognize you, Amy Thornton."

She stood up, lifted the twins to the ground and sighed. "Give Mama kisses." They both stood and puckered up, waiting for their kisses. Amy bent down and kissed them.

"Love you, Meri. Love you Mason."

"Night night Mama," they replied and followed Lily to the nursery.

After the kitchen was clean she took Logan to the couch to feed him. She looked around the living room, bare walls and floors. The couch however was comfortable and since it was cold outside, sitting with Caleb under a blanket sounded perfect.

She turned the lamp down, but noticed for the first time a note with her name on it on the table.

DEAR AMES,

I KNOW THAT THE LAST FOUR MONTHS HAVEN'T BEEN EASY. THEY HAVE BEEN HARD FOR ME TOO. I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

I KNOW THAT I MAY NOT HAVE MADE THE BEST CHOICE WITH THIS HOUSE BUT I NEED YOU HERE AND AFTER EXHAUSTING ALL OTHER OPTIONS, I MADE MY CHOICE.

BEING YOUR HUSBAND WAS THE BEST CHOICE I EVER MADE AND BEING WITH YOU AGAIN IS SOMETHING I'VE LOOKED FORWARD TO FOR A LONG TIME.

I HOPE YOU SEE PAST THE COST OF WHAT I DID HERE AND JUST REMEMBER THAT I DID IT SO I COULD BRING YOU AND THE KIDS HOME TO ME BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOU BELONG.

I LOVE YOU,

CALEB

Amy covered her mouth to stifle her sobs, careful not to wake Logan.

She walked into the nursery where Lily was telling the twins a story and put Logan in his crib.

"Amy? You ok?"

"I will be. Good night."

She walked into their room. Caleb was sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped, head down.

"I did it for you," he said, tears streaming down his face. "I wanted you with me. I don't want to lose you, Amy."

She stepped over in front of him and cupped his face in her hands. "Caleb, I got your note. I am so sorry. I was such a fool to be angry. You are the most wonderful husband and father to provide for us. Please forgive me." She leaned down slightly, gently teasing his lips with hers, gasping when he grabbed her waist, pulling her closer. "You'll never lose me," she whispered between kisses. "Never."

THE NEXT MORNING

Amy felt Caleb slip out of her arms. "Where are you going?"

"I have rounds then I have my quarterly report to finish and send to HQ."

She sat up and watched him put on his uniform. She smiled, noticing how strong his shoulders looked in his long john shirt before he covered himself with his jacket.

"Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"No. I usually just make coffee at the jail."

"I can make you some here." She slipped her nightgown and robe on and walked over to him.

"I don't have time." He kissed her and smiled. "I love you."

"Please be safe."

"Don't worry." He kissed her again and left the room.

HARRIS TOWN

Maddie dressed and made Nate's coffee and her tea before he got out of bed.

Then she started his eggs and bacon with toast and packed his lunch.

"Morning, babe," he said as he yawned, tucking his shirt in as he walked.

"Morning." She kissed his cheek and handed him his cup.

He ate while she sipped her tea. Then they pulled their boots and scarves and coats on and left for work, hand in hand.

When they reached the fork, he leaned down and kissed her. "Love you."

"Love you too."

"Try to have a good day, ok?" He was worried about her. She seemed depressed more often than not these days.

"I will. I'm watching Cam until about three."

Being around Cam cheered her up. If she couldn't have a baby right away, Cam would help her fill the need.

MIDDAY, THE JAIL

Caleb looked up as the door opened. Hoping to see his lovely wife in the doorway, he frowned briefly when he saw Diamond standing there. "Morning Constable."

"Miss Withers."

"I heard your family finally joined you."

"That's true."

"When can I meet her?"

He didn't want Diamond meeting Amy. They were finally together and he didn't want Amy to be suspicious of anything. There wasn't any reason to be, but if she saw someone like Diamond hanging around him….

"Caleb?" Of course she would show up now. Amy edged around the saloon girl standing in her husband's office. "I brought you lunch." She sat the basket on his desk and eyed the scantily dressed woman.

"Thank you, babe." He smiled at Amy, making her blush. There was nothing left to do except introduce them. "Amy, this is Miss Withers. Miss Withers, my wife, Amy Thornton."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Thornton. I can see why your husband turned me down since he had such a beautiful woman waiting for him." Amy and Caleb both blushed.

"Turned you down?"

"I'll let him fill you in. Good day, Constable. Mrs. Thornton."

Amy turned and looked at her husband who looked as if she had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. "She's right, you know," he said quietly, pulling her into the space created between his knees as he leaned on his desk. "You're beautiful, Ames."

She moved her arms up so they were resting on his shoulders. "Anything you want to tell me, Constable?"

"I love you."

"You know what I mean. About the….um….woman who was just here."

"Nothing to say. You met her."

"She said you turned her down? What exactly was she offering?" She wasn't naïve. She knew exactly what a woman like her offered men.

"Nothing I wanted from her." He leaned his head slightly to the side and kissed the soft skin just below her ear. He felt her sigh and shiver against him as he moved her hair and continued his kisses on her neck.

"Caleb."

"Hmm?"

"Oh, nevermind." She leaned back and pressed her lips to his, tightening her hold around his neck, her fingers finding their way to his hair. "Um…Sweetheart?" She pulled back after a moment.

"Yes?"

"We need to stop. We can't do this here."

"Actually, the door has a lock and the cell over there is more private." Her eyes widened for a second and then she laughed.

"Put some thought into it, have you?"

"Well, yes. We were apart for a long time and I thought about you, this, a lot. At home, Lily is there…"

"Yeah, true." She glanced at the door and then back at the cell that he mentioned. "The door locks?"

He stood up and closed the door, locking the dead bolt he had installed himself. Then he lowered the shade on the window and took her hand, leading her to the jail cell. "I don't know, Caleb."

"Trust me, babe." She trusted him, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she had a feeling, at the very least, Miss Withers would know exactly what was going on at the jail.

HARRIS TOWN, THE BOARDING HOUSE

Maddie snuggled the sleepy three year old under a blanket by the fire. "Maddie?"

"Cam, time to sleep."

"Want Mama."

"She'll be here by the time you wake up. Now, close your eyes."

The boy missed his Mama. He never mentioned his Dad but she imagined he wondered where he was. All she could do was hold him and reassure him. She knew how to do that.

Her mind wandered again to having her own child. This time she pictured a little boy, blonde like Nate, with blue eyes and his adorable smile. She looked down at Cam and smiled as he snuggled into her chest. She would try her hardest to be the best mother to whomever God saw fit to give them.

About an hour later, Jenny walked in the boarding house and found Cam and Maddie asleep on the couch. She smiled and went upstairs to clean up before waking them.

The two slept for awhile longer until Nate showed up with Jay. Maddie opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hi, Jay!"

"Hi, Me Me. I'm going to spend the night at your house!"

"You are? That's great." She smiled up at Nate, thanking him without words. He knew just what she needed.

"Yeah. Can you read me Swiss Family Robinson? Please? Daddy reads it every night. We're on chapter eight."

"You got it. After supper we will sit by the fire and read."

"Great! I'm gonna go see Papa." Jay ran off to find Papa and Cam sat up.

"Mama here?"

"I'm not sure. Why don't you go check your room?"

After Cam carefully climbed the stairs Maddie stood and walked over to Nate. "Thank you, sweetie."

"For what?"

"Jay. He's exactly what I need right now."

Nate winked at her and pulled her in for a hug. "I figured."

FOSSIL CANYON

It was Christmas Eve and Caleb, Amy, Lily, the children, and Walt were having dinner together, marveling at the amount of snow that had fallen that day. Two days before, it hadn't yet snowed, but now, there was close to a foot.

Amy liked the idea of being snowed in. It was romantic in her mind. Drinking hot chocolate under a blanket was exactly what they planned for later and she couldn't wait.

Mason fell asleep on Papa Walt's lap. Mason loved him and started calling him Papa the first few days they were there. It was good for them to have a grandfather figure in their lives.

"Mama?" Meri pointed at her brother and Walt. "Papa?"

"Yeah, Mason is with Papa?"

"Ya. Me Papa?"

Walt held out his free arm so Amy put her on his lap too. "Hi, Papa," Meri said, smiling at him.

"Hi, sweetie."

Before long, both kids and Walt were sleeping in the chair. Lily cleaned up the dishes while Amy fed Logan and put him to bed. Caleb made the hot chocolate and eventually woke Walt.

"Hey, the snow is getting pretty deep. I think you should stay here tonight."

"Nonsense. I don't want to put you out. I can make it back to town."

"You have two choices. Stay or I'll walk you back to town myself." Walt was seventy five if he was a day, so Caleb was not about to let him trudge through over a foot of snow.

"Now, that's not a choice. I'm not going to make you leave your nice cozy house to take me home."

"You can sleep in the third bedroom."

Walt shook his head. "Very well." Caleb took Meri and Lily took Mason to the nursery where there was a bed for Lily.

"Do either of you want hot chocolate?"

They both declined so he went to finish it for Amy.

He felt her arms reach around him from behind.

He turned and smiled. "Hi, love."

"Hey." He let his eyes roam for a moment.

"You look good."

"Thanks." She stood on her toes and kissed him. "You taste good."

"I took a sip." He handed her a cup of the frothy, sweet treat and followed her to the couch.

She sat against the arm of the couch, her knees pulled up against her chest, under a blanket. She watched him sipping his cocoa.

"Did Walt stay?"

"Yes."

"Good, I'm glad."

"Me too. I told him he could either stay or I'd take him to town myself."

"I'm glad you had him when we were gone."

"Me too. It was like Papa was here." He smiled. "Remember two Christmases ago?"

"Yeah. I told you I was pregnant for Logan."

"That was a great present. Any chance you might have that same announcement this Christmas?"

"No. I'm not pregnant as far as I know." She watched his expression. "Babe, we've only been home two weeks."

"I know. I was just hoping." He wanted to be a part of her pregnancy for the next one. He missed a lot last time around.


	46. Chapter 46 - Surprises

HARRIS TOWN, CHRISTMAS EVE

Em was feeding the horses and milking the cows for her brothers. She had been feeling claustrophobic with everyone over at the house so she offered to do the outside chores.

"Em," a deep voice from behind her whispered. She turned around and tried to focus in the dim light of the lantern.

"Who's there?"

"It's me." He stepped forward into the light and she gasped.

"Lee! What are you doing here?"

She dropped the horse brush and walked into his arms.

"I wanted to see you." He pulled back and kissed her cheek and then her lips.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" She smacked his arm.

"I wanted to surprise you." He wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled.

"Aren't you happy to see me? It's been almost seven months."

"Of course I am."

He leaned toward her, his hand gently grazing her cheek. He kissed her again, taking it as a good sign when she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I want you to come back with me."

"What? Lee…"

"To Hope Valley. I love you, Em."

She stepped back and sat on a bale of hay.

"Don't you love me?"

"Lee, I can't go with you. I'm going to teacher college in the fall. It's a two year course. I told you that."

"We can get married and I can start my lumber mill when I turn eighteen."

"Married? Lee, we barely know each other."

"I know you, Emma Thornton. We have been writing for months. We spent time together at the wedding."

"Lee, you don't know everything. I'm loud and I speak my mind. Not everyone likes that."

"I like that."

"I snore."

"I don't care, Em. None of that is important."

"I'm fifteen. My family is here and Maddie is here. I want to be a teacher. It's important to me."

"You're important to me." He grabbed her hand.

"Then you would understand when I say no."

Lee was going to be in town for a few days. He would get her to say yes.

THE NEXT MORNING, MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

Nate slipped out of bed to make Maddie pancakes and sausage. She was still sleeping soundly so he took his time.

After about twenty minutes, he put her meal and his on their plates with maple syrup and butter. Then he put them on a tray with two glasses of milk. "Perfect."

He wandered into the bedroom and sat down carefully on the bed. "Maddie," he said softly. "Wake up babe."

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Something smells good."

"You do, but I'm betting you mean the food I made."

She sat up against the headboard. "Wow, honey. This looks amazing."

"Merry Christmas, Maddie."

"Merry Christmas." They chatted over breakfast and then Nate left the room for a moment.

While he was getting her present from under the couch, he heard a frantic knock on the door.

"Em? What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to Maddie. Please?" She wiped her cheeks and sniffed as he let her in.

"She's in the bedroom."

Maddie sat forward, covering herself with the sheet. "Em? What is It? Why are you crying?"

"Tell me I didn't just ruin my one chance at happiness!"

"What? What do you mean?"

Maddie discreetly wrapped her robe around herself and then walked over to the end of the bed. They both sat and Em looked at her. "Em?"

"You and Nate weren't….i mean I didn't interrupt…"

"We just had breakfast." She was not going to tell Em anything remotely like what she was asking.

"You weren't wearing any clothes."

"True, but I am now. Focus, Em. Why are you upset?"

"Lee showed up."

"Here?"

"Yes, here. He wants me to go back to Hope Valley with him and marry him."

"You're fifteen."

"Yes. I know how old I am."

"Dad would go crazy."

"Tell me something I don't know. Now, who needs to focus? I'm not going. I told him no."

"So what's the problem?"

"I think maybe I should rethink that answer?"

"You want to go?"

"No! I want to teach."

"Em! You're making no sense. You can't go, marry him, and go to Teacher College. Can you?"

"Maddie, what if I ruined everything? He loves me and I told him no."

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know."

After a few minutes of talking it out with Maddie, Em left.

"What was that about, babe?" Nate walked in and set a box on the bed, watching as she got dressed. "Wait, I thought we were going to hang out in bed all day."

"My sister walked in and I had nothing on, Nate. What if someone else comes?"

He stopped her hand and grinned. "I have no intention of letting anyone else in here."

She sighed. "Well, let me at least put my nightgown on."

He nodded and then waited on the bed. "Ok, so what was up with Em?"

"Remember how I told you that she liked Lee and had been writing to him?"

"Yeah?"

"He showed up last night and proposed and asked her to leave with him to go to Hope Valley."

Nate's eyes got bigger. "Is she going to? She's fifteen. I'm not sure your Dad…"

"He would hate it. I'm pretty sure if she did that, Carlie wouldn't court anyone until she was twenty. "

"So did she say yes?"

"No. However, she is second guessing her decision because she's afraid of losing him."

"If he loves her, he won't give up."

She nodded and then smiled. "Is that box for me?"

"Yeah. It's your Christmas present."

"You didn't have to get me anything, Nate. Breakfast in bed was great."

"Open." She took the lid off the box and gasped.

"Honey! A new nightgown? It's beautiful."

"You're beautiful. Maybe you should try it on."

She took off her old one and slipped the new one over her head. "It fits perfectly. Did Penny make it?"

"Yeah." Maddie walked over and hugged him.

"Thank you." She kissed him and then walked over to her drawer, bringing back a small velvet bag. "For you."

He took the bag, loosened the strings and poured out a new money clip. "Nice."

It was silver with a mother-of-pearl clip. "Wow. This must have cost.."

"I saved up."

"Thank you, babe."

"You're welcome."

THE THORNTON RANCH

Em walked back in and sat in the living room by the fire. A few moments later, Abbie ran in with Kylie.

"Hi, Em!"

"Hi, Ab."

"You sad?"

Em wiped her cheeks and forced a smile. "I'm fine."

She wasn't. She was far from fine. Blasted Lee Coulter! Why did he have to be so darn cute? Why did he have to offer her what she had wanted for so long, just as she was getting things straight in her mind?

"You look mad."

Em glanced at her little sisters and then reached out and tickled them. Their giggles made her laugh which in turn made her feel a tiny bit better.

Why couldn't she have both Lee and a teaching degree? Mom did it.

THE BOARDING HOUSE

Lee picked at his food. "Not hungry?" Charlotte asked him.

"No, ma'am."

"Something on your mind?"

"No, I'm fine. I think I'll go for a walk." He stood up and left the room to grab something from his room and then hurried out the front door.

He wasn't fine. He was far from fine. He loved the beautiful Emma Thornton and he wanted to marry her, she just seemed to want something else. He didn't know how, but he had to convince her. Maybe the ring in his pocket would help.

As he got closer to the ranch, he got a little nervous. Her dad would probably kick him off the property if he knew what he wanted Em to do.

He was about to knock on the door when he heard the barn door creak shut. "Lee? What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Jack."

"Are your parents here too?"

"No, sir. Just me."

Jack looked confused and then he didn't. "You're here to see Em, right?"

"Um…yes."

"Well come in."

"Do you mind if I take her on a walk?"

"I suppose not. I'll send her out." About five minutes later, Em rushed out, wrapping a scarf around her neck.

"Lee? I thought we weren't going to tell my parents about us."

"He doesn't know anything except that I came to talk to you."

"I don't know what to say that I didn't say last night."

He held his hand out. "I have some things to say. Let's go for a walk." She stared at his hand and then slipped her fingers into his grasp.

"I want to teach, Lee. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I go to college in the fall for two years. After that, I hope I can find a teaching position somewhere."

"What about us?"

"Lee. We don't know each other. You live in Hope Valley and I live here."

"What do you want to know? I'll tell you anything."

"Why do you think you love me?"

"Correction, I know I love you."

"I don't feel the same way, Lee." She let go of his hand. "Maybe in time I might, but now, I have plans for my life. Honestly, I'm sorry, but they don't include getting married at fifteen."

Lee stared at her for a long moment and then kissed her cheek. "Goodbye, Em."

"Bye." She watched him walk off with a broken heart. Hers, surprisingly, was sorry but not regretful. She was proud of herself for making the choice she did. It felt right even though her good friend was hurt.

THORNTON RANCH

"Lee is here," Jack told Elizabeth.

"Oh! Did Rosie come too?"

"Lee Jr. He came to see Em."

"Wow. All the way from Hope Valley. Interesting."

"Yeah."

"Don't worry, babe. She knows what she wants."

"That's why I'm worried."

"I'm talking about teaching. She wants to make a difference. I'm so proud of her, Jack. She is strong and she is so much more patient than she used to be." Jack saw the far away look in her eyes.

"Do you miss it, babe?"

"Teaching? Yeah, I guess I do."

"Elizabeth you made a difference, a huge difference for a lot of children. You could teach again, if you wanted."

She looked at him and shook her head. "I'll teach our babies. That's enough for me."

FOSSIL CANYON

The week after Christmas, Amy received a visit from someone she never thought would show up at her door. "Miss Withers?"

"Hi."

"You must be freezing. Please come in."

Diamond walked in and looked around. "Mama!" Amy bent down and picked up Logan.

"Hi, buddy. You hungry?"

He nodded and smiled. Amy looked at Diamond. "Miss Withers, will it make you uncomfortable if I feed Logan?"

"Not a lot makes me uncomfortable, Mrs. Thornton." She chuckled.

Amy turned briefly and unbuttoned her shirt and then adjusted Logan. "Would you like coffee or tea?" Amy offered.

"Um, tea would be good." Amy stood and used her free arm to pour a cup of hot tea for her guest.

Once she was seated at the table, she looked at Diamond. "What brings you out this way, Miss Withers?"

"I heard you're a midwife."

"Yes, I am. Do you know of a pregnant woman that needs my help?"

"Me." Amy's eyes grew big.

"Oh. How far along are you?"

"Best I can figure, about four months."

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"No. We don't have a doctor here."

"Well, I'm not a doctor but I'd be happy to help you."

"Mrs. Thornton, I'm about to be out of a job and homeless. I am just going to need someone to birth this baby so I can get on with my life. Do you know of anyone who will want to raise a prostitute's baby?" She chuckled at her own question.

"What about the baby's father?"

"What about him?"

"Don't you think he might want to help you?"

"I'm sure whoever he is, his wife wouldn't want that, I can guarantee you." She stood up and Amy could see the slightly swollen tummy underneath Diamond's shawl. "Look, if this makes you uncomfortable, I can find someone else. I just thought that being a Constable's wife and a midwife that you would want to help."

"I'll help you and my sister in law would love to adopt your child."

"Until she finds out who I am."

"She won't care. Maddie wants to be a mother and so far, after seven months of marriage, she hasn't been able to conceive." Amy looked down at Logan who was now sleeping at her breast. "May I ask you a question?"

"Ok."

"Why wouldn't you want to raise your own child?"

"I'm not someone who should be a mother, to anyone. It will help to know that my baby is going to be raised by someone who can give it a good life. Not a life in a saloon."

"You'll go back to that life?"

"It's all I'm good for, Mrs. Thornton."

THAT EVENING, DINNER

"You're quiet, Ames. Feeling ok?"

"Yes, babe. I'm fine. Just thinking is all." She stood up and cleaned her plate, coming back for the rest.

"Dada! Book?" Mason asked.

"You want me to tuck you in tonight buddy?"

"Ya! Bed."

"Ok, I guess you're off the hook tonight, Lil."

"Great. I'm going to take a bath, if you don't mind."

Their bathtub had arrived, a Christmas present from Jack and Elizabeth. A very wanted present.

"Not at all. I'll heat the water for you." Caleb stood and started filling buckets.

"Maybe later, we can take a bath, love," he whispered in Amy's ear.

About two hours later, they were relaxing in the lavender scented bubbles of their bath. "Caleb, Miss Withers came to visit today."

"She did?"

"Yeah. She's in need of my midwife services."

"For one of the girls at the saloon?"

"No. For herself."

"Oh. Wow."

"She doesn't want to raise the baby. She is giving it up." She turned and looked up at Caleb. "I don't know how she could do that. Carrying it for nine months and feeling it kick and move and then give it up, like it means nothing."

"That's a huge difference between her life and ours. Her baby wasn't conceived in love. She probably views it as a mistake."

"I'm so grateful for my babies. I love them so much."

"You're a good Mama, Ames."

She took his arms and wrapped them around her. "She said something else that bothers me. She said that she wanted someone to raise it who can give it a good life, not in the saloon. She said she'd go back to that job because it's all she's good for."

"That's sad."

"I think Maddie and Nate would adopt her baby."

"Why them?"

"Maddie wants a baby and it's been seven months."

"Doesn't it just take a while sometimes?"

"Yeah, but this baby needs them and they need it."

A WEEK LATER

Maddie picked up her mail from the story. She smiled, glad to here from her sister-in-law.

DEAR MADDIE,

I HOPE THIS LETTER FINDS EVERYONE IN GOOD HEALTH AND HAPPY AFTER THE HOLIDAY.

EVERYTHING IS GOOD HERE. WE GOT AROUND A FOOT OF SNOW ON CHRISTMAS EVE.

I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU. I WISH I COULD TELL YOU IN PERSON. THERE IS A WOMAN HERE, A SALOON GIRL, WHO IS PREGNANT. SHE WANTS TO GIVE UP HER CHILD TO SOMEONE WHO WILL GIVE IT A GOOD LIFE. I SUGGESTED YOU TO HER AND SHE THINKS IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

Maddie stopped reading and gasped.

"Maddie? Something wrong, sweetie?" Jake asked.

"No, Papa. I need to see Nate. Tell Grandma I'll see her in the morning." She kissed his cheek. "Love you."


	47. Chapter 47 - Her Child

APRIL, HARRIS TOWN

Terry carefully lifted her seemingly enormous body out of bed with a grunt. "Terry, what are you doing, sweetie?"

"Getting up. I'm due in two weeks and I don't want to be in bed anymore. I want to walk around. I want to cook you dinner. I want to have this baby."

"You have been such an amazing mother, staying in bed like this."

"This child is such a blessing. I did what I had to do to keep it safe and alive."

She rubbed her tummy right under her robe where the little one kicked her constantly.

Ben walked up to her and kissed her. "Like I said, amazing." He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair.

"You know what I want?"

"What?" He'd give her the moon if he could.

"A bubble bath with you. I'm sick of sponge baths."

"I'm on it."

MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

Maddie sat in the rocking chair in the nursery. The crib, a gift from Brandon and Dee, was ready for the newest Carlin. A bag was packed with baby clothes, diapers, a blanket crocheted by Maddie herself, two bottles, and a box of powdered infant food recommended by the doctor.

She thought back to the day four months before when she told Nate about the baby.

She had made dinner for him, lighting just a few candles for effect and dressed in the nightgown he gave her for Christmas.

"I'm home, babe." She walked into the living room and kissed him, a huge smile on her face. "You look happy."

"I have something to tell you."

He smiled and removed his boots and coat. "Well, tell me."

She led him to the arm chair in the corner, sitting on his lap. "I got a letter from Amy. She knows someone who is pregnant but can't raise her baby."

"Why not?"

"She works in the saloon."

His eyes got big. "She's a…"

"Yes. She wants someone to take her baby and give it a good life. Amy told her about me."

"What about you?"

"It's been seven months, Nate."

"I know, but sometimes it takes time. It took Mom five years to get pregnant."

"Nate, I want this baby, so badly."

"Are you sure? I mean, it's different isn't It? Not carrying the baby or feeding it. Is that what you want?"

"I want to be a mother. I don't care how it happens." He stared at her for a long few moments. He could see how happy she was with just the thought of a baby.

"When?"

"She's due in early May."

"I guess we have a lot to do to get ready, don't we?"

"Yes! Are you sure, Nate?"

"I'm sure."

Now, the baby was about a month away and she was ready. She couldn't wait to hold it in her arms and know it was hers.

FOSSIL CANYON

"Well, Di, you look to be right on schedule. How are you feeling?" Amy asked her.

"Same as before." Diamond struggled to sit up from the bed where she slept, above the town store. Mr. Biggs was gracious enough to let her stay there, rent free. "Maddie still coming?"

"Yes. She and Nate will be here in about two weeks."

Diamond nodded. "Thank you." She just wanted it to be over. The baby inside her was not hers. It's last name was Carlin now. The life she had chosen for herself had led to this and she was ready to move on. Maybe one day, her heart wouldn't feel broken.

"Di, you ok?"

"No, but that's no one's fault but my own, is it?"

HARRIS TOWN, THORNTON RANCH

Maddie and Nate walked into her parents home for dinner a week and a half later. They were leaving the next morning for Fossil Canyon and she was positive she wouldn't sleep much that night.

Jack walked up to her and hugged her. "Hi, honeybug."

"Hi, Daddy."

"Are you excited?"

"Yes. I don't think I'll sleep much tonight."

"Or for the next few years?"

"Right, but it will be so worth it."

"Nate, ready to be a Daddy?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good man." He hugged Nate and then Maddie went to see her Mom.

Jack was very excited to be a grandfather again and this baby would only be living about a mile down the road.

Maddie walked in to the kitchen. "Hi, Ma."

"Hi, babe. Can you stir this a moment? I need to cut up the carrots and snap the beans."

"Sure." She took the spoon and stirred the stew which smelled wonderful. "Ma, I'm worried."

"About what?"

"What if I'm not good at being a mother? What if the baby hates me or something? I won't be it's real mother and what if that's not enough?"

"Maddie, listen to me." She pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly. "You are going to be the best mother for that baby. You are amazing with Jay and Cam and your sisters. The baby will love you and you are it's real mother because you are the one who will take care of it and love it."

"I've wanted this for so long. Ten months of hoping and praying and nothing happening was so hard to get through."

"You're strong and you are capable. Don't ever forget."

THE NEXT EVENING

Nate grabbed Maddie's waist as he helped her off the stage. They had three bags, one for each of them and one for the baby.

"Hey little sister," Caleb said from the telegraph office doorway.

"Caleb!" She walked up to him and hugged him tight. "I missed you."

"Me too. Nate, I'll help with the bags."

"Thanks, Caleb."

A few moments later, Caleb walked them to his home where they would stay in the third bedroom.

"I need to get back to the jail. I'll see you at dinner."

When they walked in, they were greeted with hugs and kisses. Di sat at the table, watching and learning about the visitors.

"Hi, I'm Maddie Carlin. This is my husband Nate." Maddie held out her hand and squeezed when Di returned the gesture.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Di Withers."

The rest of the evening was spent getting to know one another. "You can ask us anything, Miss Withers," Maddie assured her.

"How old are you?"

"I'm going to be seventeen next week and Nate will be eighteen in August."

"How long have you been married?"

"It will be a year on June 2nd." Maddie smiled and grabbed Nate's fingers.

"Aren't you kind of young to be having a baby? Are you ready?"

"Yes, ma'am. I come from a large family. I have four brothers and four sisters. I've helped my Ma care for my siblings because I'm second oldest after Caleb. I can assure you that I'm capable and that I will love this baby with all of my heart."

"You haven't been able to have children, Maddie?"

"No ma'am. It's been really hard to get through but when Amy told us about this baby, it was like an answer to our prayers." She wiped her eyes quickly.

"Mr. Carlin? Do you have anything you want to tell me?"

"My wife has struggled this past year and it hurt me that I couldn't make it better or give her what she needed. You brought a lot of joy to our family, and I'm truly grateful for that. I promise you, I will try my hardest to be a good father."

"Well, I'm the one who is grateful. You both must think I'm a horrible person for giving my baby up, but I am doing it out of love. I know I can't provide what you can. It deserves to be loved and raised in a proper home." She stood slowly and held her back. "I'm going to go now. I'll see you both soon. Thank you for dinner, Amy."

"I'll check on you tomorrow, Di."

Lily offered to walk her home just in case she needed assistance.

"I'm going to go to bed," Maddie told them. "It was a long trip."

Nate stood and went with her. As Nate helped her unbutton the back of her dress, she watched him in the mirror. "Nate, you don't really believe that you can't provide what I need, do you?"

"I don't know. It's been almost a year." Tears came to his eyes, making it hard to see the buttons.

She turned and slipped her arms around his waist. "Nate, I needed love and support and that's exactly what you gave me." She kissed him softly and stared into his eyes. "I love you so much. You know that, don't you?" He nodded, leaning his forehead against hers. "Good." She turned so he could finish the buttons.

HARRIS TOWN

"Push, sweetheart," Abigail told Terry as she tried her hardest to finally give birth. "I can see the head."

Terry stopped to breathe when the contraction ended. "Baby, you doing great. Breathe." Ben whispered in her ear.

She tensed up when the next contraction hit and then pushed with all that she had.

"It's a boy!" Abigail told them. "A boy." She cut the cord and cleaned and dried him off, then wrapped him in a blanket. "Congratulations." She handed him to his parents.

Ben and Terry just stared in wonder at the son that they had brought into the world. "He's beautiful," Terry whispered, tracing his soft, round face with her fingertip. Ben agreed, leaned forward to kiss his boy and then back to kiss his wife.

"What's his name?" Abigail asked quietly a while later, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Connor Benjamin," Terry told her. She looked down and smiled. He was making sucking noises and wrinkling up his face.

"He's hungry, sweetie," Abigail told her. "I'll leave you alone."

"Please stay." Terry had a brief moment of insecurity. She didn't know exactly how to feed him. She knew the anatomy part but what if he didn't respond right away?

"You'll be fine."

Connor started grunting and searching for his food. She unbuttoned her nightgown and hoped for the best. He moved his little mouth against her breast and started sucking right away. "Good boy," she whispered.

FOSSIL CANYON

Nothing happened for another week. Nate and Maddie waited patiently and enjoyed spending time with Amy and Caleb.

Finally, Amy went to check on Di, bringing Maddie with her. Amy knocked on the door.

"Amy! Come in. I'm in labor!"

Amy looked at Maddie and then they both walked in. Di was laying in bed, panting, gripping her blanket so hard her knuckles turned white.

"Di, you need to try to relax," Amy told her, a soothing tone in her voice. She saw her take a few deep breaths and calm down a bit. "Good. Now, how long have you been having contractions?"

"All night. I didn't know that's what was happening at first."

"Did your water break?"

"Yes, just a few moments ago."

"We need to get your wet nightgown off and put some towels underneath you. Maddie, will you sterilize the scissors, please?"

Maddie took the scissors, wrapped a towel around the handle and held the ends in the flames of her small corner stove. After that was done, Maddie ran over to the jail where Nate was.

"Nate! The baby is coming." He jumped out of his chair and followed her back to Di's room above the store. Nate stayed outside the room while Maddie went in.

"Where's your husband, Maddie? He should see his son or daughter be born," Di told her, panting through another contraction.

Maddie peeked her head out. "Sweetie, Di said you should be in here."

"Do you think I should?"

"Yes. What if this is our only child? It would be nice to be able to say you saw him or her be born." He looked at her and then took her hand as she led him into the room.

He sat in a chair next to the bed, clearly uncomfortable, so Maddie held his hand.

"Ok, Di. It's almost time to push. When you feel pressure, I want you to start." Maddie walked a step toward the bed and grabbed Di's hand, squeezing it.

"You can do this," she encouraged.

An hour of contractions and pushes later, the baby was born.

Maddie burst into tears when she saw her daughter for the first time. Nate held Maddie and fought back his own tears. "We have a daughter, babe." He kissed her gently and smiled.

Amy finished cleaning the baby and attempted to hand the baby to Di. "No, I don't want to see her. Please." She turned her head and closed her eyes. The only thing that helped the intense heartbreak was knowing she would be loved and safe in a good home.

Amy handed her to Maddie. "Hi, sweetie. Gosh, you are beautiful." She had dark black curls and dark brown eyes.

Nate smiled at his wife gazing at their daughter and the baby staring back, eyes focused. He was pretty sure he had never seen anything as lovely.

"Please, take her home," Di begged. "Please."

Maddie felt for Di and her situation. She knew it must be extremely hard to give up her child but she didn't understand why she wouldn't want to say goodbye.

Nate nodded and grabbed Maddie's hand, leading his new family back to Amy and Caleb's home.

"I think she will probably be hungry soon, Nate."

"Good thing we're taking her home then."

"I think her name should be Rachel. Rachel Hanna Carlin."

Feeding her was not very simple. They mixed up just a few ounces of the infant food but she didn't seem to like the taste. She kept turning away from the bottle.

Amy walked in her house and heard the baby crying in the back bedroom. She checked on her own children first and then knocked on the new parents door. "Come in," Maddie said.

"How's she doing?"

"I think she's hungry but she doesn't like the infant food. She's just crying and crying." Maddie was getting frustrated so she handed the baby to Nate so she could take a breather.

"If he can't get her to eat, I'll nurse her."

"Oh, that would be wonderful, Amy."

Ten minutes later, Amy sat down in the rocking chair in her own bedroom and unbuttoned her shirt. As soon as she did that, Rachel found what she needed and quieted, every so often taking a shuddering breath. "Shhh…it's ok sweetie."

"Maddie, have Nate walk down to the neighbor. They have goats. Have him get some goats milk and we will see if she will drink that."

Logan wandered in and watched Amy. "Mama?"

"Hi, Logan. Do you see the baby?" She picked him up with her free arm and sat him on her lap.

Nate hurried to the neighbor who was about a half mile away. He knocked on the door.

"Who's there?"

"My name is Nate Carlin, ma'am."

"What can I do for you, Mr. Carlin?" A little old woman came to the door, deep set wrinkles in her face.

"My sister-in-law Amy Thornton told me you have goats."

"Yes. Not for sale."

"No ma'am. I don't want to buy them. I need milk for my daughter. I'd pay you for it."

"Your daughter?"

"Yes ma'am. Trying to feed her. We adopted her and she doesn't care for the infant food. May we please have some of your milk?"

"How old is she, Mr. Carlin?"

"About two hours, ma'am."

"Wait here." She came back a moment later with a small bottle. "If she likes that, come back and I'll give you a large bottle."

"Thank you, ma'am. How much do I owe you?" He put his hand in his pocket to pull out his money.

"It's a good thing you're doing, son, adopting a baby. Not enough people willing to take an unwanted child. No charge."

"Thank you, ma'am." He ran back to the house and walked in, trying to be quiet.

He put the small bottle in the ice box and headed back to find Maddie. She was laying on the bed her back facing the door. Rachel was sleeping in the drawer they made into a temporary bed for her.

He climbed into bed behind his wife and snuggled up to her. She sniffed and wiped her cheeks.

"Maddie? Sweetie what's wrong?"

"I already failed. I don't know what I was thinking." She sat up and blew her nose.

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't even feed our daughter, Nate. Amy fed her, thank goodness."

"Seems to me that's the opposite of failing. You found someone to feed your baby. That's taking care of her the best way you could."

He went and picked her up, handing her to Maddie. "Look at her, babe. She is beautiful and she's ours now. A good parent does anything they can to feed their children. You did that by having Amy feed her and I did that by bringing back goats milk."

"I hope she likes it."

"If not, we'll try something else." He kissed her forehead and smiled.

"It's been about an hour since she's eaten. She should be good for another hour. Why don't we take a nap too?" she suggested.

He nodded and settled the baby on his chest and Maddie in his arms. They slept, but he didn't. After about a half hour, he walked into the living room area and sat in the rocking chair. He watched his beautiful little girl sleep soundly. She had such black hair. He imagined a few months from now her smiling up at him, recognizing her Daddy. He couldn't wait to experience all of the wonderful things that fatherhood would bring.

She opened her eyes and stared at him. "Hi, Rachel. I'm your Daddy. Now, I went to get you special milk from down the road. As your father, I am going to insist that you at least try it before giving up. It's not as good as the milk that Aunt Amy fed you, but we won't have access to that for much longer."

Maddie stood in the doorway and smiled at Nate talking to Rachel.

"You know, she doesn't understand what you're saying, sweetheart."

"I think she might. She's listening, I can tell."

"Whatever you say, love. I'm going to heat up some milk for her."

He smiled down. "You are listening, aren't you, sweetie? Now, remember, try the milk. Mama needs you to eat for her."

Maddie brought in the warm milk in the bottle and handed it to him. "Here, go see Mama."

She sat down on the couch and took the bottle and then Rachel. She took a deep breath and then settled her in the crook of her arm. "Hungry, baby girl?" She touched her lips with the tip of the nipple and once Rachel opened her mouth, she gently inserted it, praying she would start drinking.

She took another deep breath and moved the bottle around. "Come on, Rachel. Eat for Mama." Maddie felt her mouth tug on the nipple and smiled as she drank the small amount of milk she had given her.

"See, she listens," Nate said, a bit of pride in his voice.

"Nate, come here." He walked over and sat next to her.

"What, babe?"

She leaned over and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you back."


	48. Chapter 48

Em brought the telegram and handed it to her parents. Elizabeth opened it a smiled. "A girl, Jack. Rachel Hanna Carlin."

The fact that Maddie had used Hanna as her own daughter's middle name meant so much. "Hanna," he whispered, tears filling his eyes. His granddaughter would carry his own daughter's name. Elizabeth leaned toward him and kissed his cheek. The meaning wasn't lost on her either.

"Congratulations, Papa," she told him.

"You too." He grabbed her fingers. "Next month, babe. Eighteen years."

"I know, we're old aren't we?" she said with a laugh.

"I suppose a bit. Not too old to leave town for our anniversary, though."

"Leave town?"

"Mmhmm. You and me, a week. No kids." Her eyes lit up as he kissed her.

"After Em's graduation?"

"Of course. We can't miss that."

"So where will we be going, Jack?"

"Somewhere nice. You'll love it."

FOSSIL CANYON

"I'm concerned, Nate. I'm not sure how we are going to get her home. She eats every two to three hours and it takes ten to get home. How will we keep the milk fresh all day?"

"I already figured that out."

"You did?"

"I talked to Caleb. He said if we take a first class compartment, the porters will keep the milk fresh in their icebox on board. We just tell them when we need more and they bring it."

"A compartment? We can't afford that, Nate."

"We can when we have Papa Jack around. He already paid for it. I think his telegram said, "anything for my bug.""

"Ok, one more question. We don't have a goat at home and no one I know has one. What will she eat when we get home?"

"I took care of that too."

"You bought a goat?"

"I did. My Dad went and bought one from a farmer a few miles away and I'll pay him when we get home."

Maddie walked over and kissed him. "I love you, Nate."

"Love you too."

"When can we leave?"

He slipped his hands in his pocket and pulled out two stage tickets and two train tickets, first class. "How's tomorrow sound?"

Maddie was more than ready. They had been in Fossil Canyon for almost three weeks. Amy told them to stay put to make sure the baby was adjusting well. Rachel was two weeks old now and loved her bottles. Nate loved the middle of the night feedings because he could spend time bonding with her and Maddie could sleep.

"Let's go pack." She took his hand and led him to the bedroom. "Oh, wait. We need a few more bottles and more milk. Could you…?"

"Done. I went this morning."

"Did I mention I love you?"

"That sounds familiar."

HARRIS TOWN

Elizabeth smiled. She just finished reading a telegram from Maddie letting them know they would be home the next evening. Now, she had a letter to read from Hope Valley.

DEAR ELIZABETH,

Are you a Grandma again yet? I can't wait to hear!

Everything here is great. Viola just had her baby, a girl. She named her Grace after Mom. I'm surprised we hadn't taken her name for our babies yet with as many girls as we've had. Maybe the one I'm carrying will be a boy, you think?

Well, I need to go make dinner. Send me a telegram when your newest grandchild makes an appearance.

Love you, Beth.

Julie

"Hey, letter from Julie?" Jack asked.

"Yeah and a telegram from Maddie. They'll be home tomorrow." She handed the two envelopes to Jack and left the room.

As soon as he read that Viola had her baby and that Julie was pregnant, Jack knew what was going on in Elizabeth's head and heart. At almost forty she was feeling every bit a grandmother and had told him they would have no more babies. She just knew there would be no more. It was weighing on her and had caught her crying a few times in the kitchen when she was alone.

He knew Viola was older and Maggie and Abigail had babies older than she was so he held out enough hope for the two of them.

He walked into the living room and sat next to her. "So."

"So, what?"

"Deer Falls Inn. Honeymoon suite."

"Is that where we're going?"

"Yep. Two more weeks. Mom and Dad are coming to stay here and Jay wants me to ask Maddie and Nate if he can stay with them."

"Jack.."

He grabbed her fingers and kissed them. "Elizabeth, I know you're upset."

"Can we maybe just concentrate on making a baby when we're there? I can't believe how much I want this. I thought I was ok with just being with my grandbabies, but I'm not."

"Whatever you want, babe. You don't have to ask me twice." He kissed her lips, teasing a bit. "We're good at the baby making thing." He kissed her again. "Number ten will be on it's way soon if I have anything to say about it."

THE NEXT MORNING, FOSSIL CANYON

"Thank you so much. Both of you. You'll never know how much it means to us that you helped us have our family." Maddie couldn't help the tears when she said goodbye to Caleb and Amy.

"I'd do anything for you, Maddie," Caleb told her.

She squeezed him tighter. "I love you." She kissed his cheek and then hugged Amy. "See you at Christmas?"

"We'll be there," Amy told her.

Nate handed Maddie the baby and said goodbye to them just as the stage pulled up. "See you soon."

The stage ride was bumpy and uncomfortable but Rachel didn't seem to mind. She slept most of it, waking up once to eat and get a diaper change.

When they stepped off the stage around one o'clock, Maddie was desperate for food and a bathroom. She handed Rachel to Nate and walked into the depot to use the bathroom. She came out a few minutes later just as the Conductor yelled for them to board. The train whistle blew, scaring Rachel and causing her to scream.

"Shhh…babe. Mama's here." She walked and bounced as they found their compartment.

"Here we are, folks," the porter said.

"Thank you," Nate said. "Can you please put our daughter's milk in the ice box for us?"

"Yes, sir. Just pull this cord when you need anything."

"Thank you. We could use some lunch if possible."

"We have tomato soup or roast chicken."

"We'll take one of each. Thank you so much."

Nate shut the door and watched Maddie humming and feeding Rachel on the couch. He sat down next to them, slipping his arms around them. "You're so beautiful. Both of you." He touched her cheek. "I didn't think it was possible to love you this much." He wasn't a crier but this situation called for it.

"Oh, Nate. That is very sweet. I love you too." She leaned her forehead against his cheek. "We love you, too."

About ten minutes after they pulled out of town, Maddie put Rachel on the bed in the bedroom and came out to eat with Nate.

"Your soup smells so good, Nate." She took a bite of her chicken. "Wow, this chicken is amazing."

"Wanna try my soup, babe?" He held the spoon to her lips.

"Oh my, Nate. It's so creamy." He watched her close her eyes as she swallowed. He leaned over while her eyes were closed and kissed her. She opened her eyes and smiled. "What was that for?"

"I miss you."

"I'm right here." She grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I know you've been tired and with the baby and all we haven't had time, but I miss spending time with you."

"There's a bed in there, perfect for a nap."

"That our daughter is sleeping on," he pointed out.

"We can make her a bed out of a drawer like we did before."

They finished their food and then did just that, deciding a nap was a great idea.

A FEW HOURS LATER

Rachel woke up and started crying, waking her parents. Nate swung his legs over the edge of the bed and picked her up.

"Hey sweet pea. Let's get you a dry diaper. Does that sound good?" She quieted as she listened to her Daddy talking. "There, now, are you hungry? Let's go get you some milk."

"Uh, babe?" Maddie said with a chuckle.

"Yeah?"

"I think you forgot to put clothes on." She giggled as he walked back in, dressed, and then picked Rachel back up and rang for the porter.

Maddie wrapped her robe around herself and went out to the living area. "Thanks for a good nap, sweetie." She smirked and sat down on the couch, resting her legs on his lap.

"My pleasure, and I mean that." She blushed and leaned against the back of the couch.

"I can't wait to get home," she admitted. "Everything will be much easier in familiar surroundings."

There was a knock at the door. Nate got up and answered.

"The milk, sir. I'll take your dishes from lunch."

Caleb accepted the bottle and then closed the door once the porter left. When Rachel started indicating she was hungry, Nate stuck the nipple in her mouth and she immediately started drinking. He sat back down, placing Maddie's legs back on his lap.

Maddie sat up and grabbed Nate's shoulder. "Oh my gosh!"

"What, babe?"

"I'm a week late. Oh my goodness. I was just thinking about how funny it would be if I got pregnant now, after thinking I couldn't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Oh my goodness," she said again. "I hope I am."

THREE HOURS LATER

They pulled into Harris Town and spotted Jack. Jack smiled and waved. "Maddie, Nate!"

"Hi, Dad." Maddie held Rachel close and walked straight into his arms.

Jack looked down at his newest grandchild. "Look at her, Bug. She's beautiful." He took her gently and kissed her and then pulled Maddie close again. "You're a Mama. How does that feel?"

She smiled, knowing her other secret but it wasn't time to tell yet. "It feels wonderful."

Nate walked over with their two suitcases and the baby bag strapped across his shoulders. "Babe, can you take her bag, please?"

"Oh, Honey. I'm sorry." She took the bag and hung it on her shoulder.

"Let's head to the boarding house," Jack suggested.

"I'd really like to get home," Maddie said.

"I know, but everyone, including your family, Nate, wants to meet her. Just for a few moments."

"An hour, Maddie?" Nate asked.

"Sure. An hour." She was sure it would take longer than that and all she wanted was a hot bath and to snuggle up in her warm cozy feather bed with her family.

The second they got there, Dee and Elizabeth whisked the baby off to the kitchen to meet everyone. Maddie sat on the couch by the fire and closed her eyes. There were so many people there that no one noticed she was missing for a while, giving her a chance to rest.

"Maddie?" Nate gently moved her shoulder. "Honey, are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She kept her eyes closed but grabbed his hand. "Where's Rachel?"

"Charlotte is feeding her in the kitchen."

"We need more milk for the night."

"Dad said he put it in our icebox already." Maddie nodded and drifted off.

Nate went back to the kitchen. "Where's Maddie?" Elizabeth asked.

"She's resting on the couch." Elizabeth went to the parlor and smiled. She kissed Maddie's forehead.

"Ma?"

"Hi, sweetie. Rachel is beautiful. Congratulations."

Maddie smiled. "Thank you. I think so too." She sat up and hugged her Mom. "I missed you."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just tired."

"It's something else. You can tell me if you want."

"Ma, that mind reading thing is kind of spooky." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. Maddie grabbed her hand and took her to the porch. "I think I'm pregnant."

"You are? That's wonderful! I knew it would happen when you stopped worrying."

"I'm trying not to get my hopes up because I'm only a week late but I'm exhausted."

"You are a new mom. It's natural to be tired."

Maddie turned when she heard Rachel cry. Charlotte brought her out. "I think she wants Mama."

Maddie smiled at that, still not used to being called someone's Mama. "Hi, sweetie." She cuddled Rachel close to her neck and bounced her gently and before long, she settled and fell asleep.

"Ready to go home, babe?" Nate asked joining them.

"Yes. Let me go say goodbye first."

Fifteen minutes later they walked into their house and sighed. "Let me go put her down and I'll make dinner," Maddie told him.

"I'll make dinner. You go get ready for bed and I'll bring it in."

"Nate, you don't have to. I'd like to take a bath first anyway."

"Alone or with me?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You can come," she said with a wink and then went to change Rachel and put her in her crib.

A WHILE LATER

Maddie pressed his hands against her tummy. It was so crazy to think that she may have a baby growing inside, Nate's baby. She figured she'd never have one and that was ok since they now had Rachel. Now, she felt the intense need for the possibility of another child.

He kissed her cheek and whispered, "I love you, Mrs. Carlin, with every piece of my heart." She turned and kissed him back.

"I love you, more."

Rachel let out a yell from the other room. "I'll get her," Nate said as he got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist.

"Are you lonely, sweet pea?" He picked her up and kissed her cheeks. "Oh, you're wet. That would upset me too." He changed her diaper and brought her in to see Mama.

"She was just wet. She's all better now."

"I should give her a bath tomorrow. You could make a nice warm fire in the stove and then after you leave for work, I'll give her a bath."

"Ok, sounds good. Are you going back to work soon, or no?"

Maddie slipped under the water and rinsed the lavender hair soap out of her hair. "We should talk about that," she told him. "I think that maybe I'll work two days a week or so. I really like the idea of being with her everyday."

"Ok. If you're pregnant too, much more than two days might be too much." She nodded and got out, wrapping a towel around herself.

"That means it will take longer to save up for a new house," she mentioned.

"You and our babies are more important than that, Maddie."

"I'm glad you feel that way." She kissed him and wrapped her robe around herself. "Let's have dinner."

TWO WEEKS LATER

Em graduated, school was out, and Maddie was positive she was pregnant. She threw up multiple times a day and couldn't sleep enough. When Nate went to work, Em came over and stayed so if Rachel needed something and Maddie couldn't do it, someone was there.

Jack and Elizabeth left for their trip, leaving Jay with Em, Maddie, Nate, and Rachel.

Jay climbed up on the bed with Maddie. "Me Me? Are you sick?"

"I'm going to have a baby. Sometimes that makes a mommy sick."

"Why?"

"It just does."

"Is Mama going to be sick?"

"Is she having a baby?" She hadn't heard, but she'd been out of the loop for awhile.

"I heard her tell Daddy she wants one."

"Jay, you know you shouldn't listen to other people's conversations."

"I didn't on purpose. They were in the kitchen when I was having my snack."

"Oh, ok." Rachel started crying across the room. "Jay, is Em here?"

"She went to go see Papa and Grandma." Maddie groaned and sat up.

"Mama's coming, sweet pea." She stood and then bolted out of the room to throw up. She could hear Rachel crying as she tried to take deep breaths to calm her stomach.

Then after a few moments, she heard silence and Jay talking.

When she walked in, Jay was sitting on the floor, holding Rachel in his lap and talking to her. They had been working with him in teaching him how to hold a baby.

"You're doing a great job, bud. Thank you for helping me."

"I'm holding her head so she doesn't get hurt. I just told her that her Mama would be back soon and she stopped crying."

"You are such a big helper, Jay." He smiled at Rachel and kissed her forehead. "You want to feed her?"

"I can?"

"Sure." Maddie walked out and heated up a bottle for her and then everyone climbed up on the bed so Maddie could watch and lay down. "Ok, Jay, now just put the nipple in her mouth and she'll start drinking."

"She's drinking, Me Me!" He was so happy, it warmed her heart.

She closed her eyes and listened to Rachel sucking. After a few moments, Maddie sat up. "Ok, it's time to burp her."

"How?"

She picked her up and put her over Jay's shoulder. "Ok, hold her against you with this arm. Then, pat her back with this hand." He patted but not hard enough. Maddie took his hand and patted harder. "Like this." After a moment, Rachel burped.

"I heard it! She burped, Me Me."

"Ok, good. Now you can give her the rest of her bottle."


	49. Chapter 49 - Lots of Love

ON THE TRAIN

"We really don't need a first class compartment to travel to Deer Falls, Jack."

"Of course we do. We need privacy to get a head start on our plans, don't we?"

"A head start? Yes, I suppose so." He grabbed her hand and took her into the bedroom.

"Well, it's not our feather bed, but it will have to do." He laid down on the bed and patted the area next to him. "Care to join me?"

"Patience, love. We haven't even left town yet."

"So that means you can't come lay down with me?"

"No, I suppose not."

"Well then, come on, babe."

She laid down next to him and he immediately started kissing her neck. "I feel bad leaving Maddie when she's so sick."

"Em is there and when she isn't, Nate is. She'll be ok." He went back to her neck, giving her goosebumps.

She put her fingers on his lips to stop him for a moment. "Thank you, Jack. "

"For what?"

"This trip and being ok with me wanting another baby. It means a lot to me."

"Elizabeth, whatever makes you happy, makes me happy."

"I love you, Jack."

"I love you too."

NATE AND MADDIES HOUSE

Maddie, Jay, and Rachel all slept in the bed. Em walked in to the quiet room and smiled. She walked out and decided to clean the kitchen while everyone slept.

Em thought about teacher college. She was going to Vancouver and would stay in a boarding house with other young women. She would come home for major holidays but she was most excited about finally making something of herself. Making a difference like her own mother had, was important to her.

"Em?"

"Coming!" She walked in as everyone was waking.

"Rachel is smelly," Jay said, pinching his nose.

"I guess she is," Em said noticing the stench of a dirty diaper. "I can fix that, huh, sweet pea?" Em took her out of the room to take care of her.

Maddie was grateful for Em's help but she hated that she couldn't take care of her own daughter like she wanted.

When Em brought Rachel back in, she saw Maddie's tears. "Maddie? What's wrong?"

Maddie sat up, leaning against the headboard. "I wish I could take care of her. I'm sorry I'm such a bother."

"You will be able to take care of her soon. The important thing is I'm here and I can help."

"It's my job! I want to enjoy this time with her, but instead I throw up all the time and I'm so tired."

"You need to drink more water and tea, Ma said, so you don't get dizzy. I'll bring you some crackers too."

She handed Rachel to her mother and left the room. "Hi, sweetie. Mama loves you so much." Saying the words brought on another stream of tears.

"She loves you too, Me Me."

"How do you know?"

"Because I do and you're her Mama. Babies love their Mamas."

"I love you too, Jay." She kissed his forehead. Big sisters loved their little brothers too.

FOSSIL CANYON

Caleb dawdled getting out of bed. He should have left an hour before but, some days, his wife took precedence over rounds.

Amy smiled. "You are late." He kissed her softly.

"I don't care." He kissed her again but she stopped him.

"I need to tell you something, Caleb."

"What's that?"

"Lily wants to go back home."

"To Regina?"

"Yes. She realizes that she wants to have a family of her own and that it isn't likely to happen in Fossil Canyon." Caleb knew that was true. The men in the town were all older, all into drinking and saloon girls, and not what Lily should be subjected to.

"When does she want to leave?"

"As soon as she can. I don't think she should go alone though."

"You're right. That's too far for her to go by herself. I'll see if I can arrange for an escort."

"Maybe see if her Dad can come and take her home."

"I can ask Rob but I'm not sure if he has the time."

Amy nodded and then smiled. "I have something else to tell you."

"Ok."

"In February, you are going to be a Daddy again."

"Woohoo!" he yelled jumping up on his knees.

"Caleb, Shhh. You probably just woke everyone up."

"I don't care!" He plopped back down on his stomach again. "This is great."

"Kinda funny. That's around when Maddie is due too."

DEER FALLS, ONE WEEK LATER

Jack and Elizabeth really enjoyed themselves on the trip. They hadn't traveled anywhere alone in so long, they felt almost lost. Almost.

Elizabeth fixed her hair before it was time to get dressed and catch the train.

Jack walked up behind her and nuzzled her neck, slipping his fingers under the edge of her camisole. "Oh, sweetie. We don't have time. We need to catch the train." He spun her around and kissed her slowly. "Did you pack?" she asked between kisses.

"Mmhmm."

"One hour," she mumbled against his lips.

"Until what?"

"We'll be in our compartment and we can continue this."

"We don't have a compartment for the return trip. I changed it back to a coach ticket."

"Can you change it back?"

"No. It's too late."

She squeezed past him to get dressed. "Guess we'll have to use a little self control on our ride back."

"Seven long hours," he muttered. "What was I thinking?"

She tucked her shirt in the waistband of her skirt. "Maybe that you'd had enough of me this week?"

"Never."

"Happy Anniversary, love," she said with a smile.

"The happiest."

HARRIS TOWN, MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

It was Sunday and Maddie was glad it was her day to spend with Nate and Rachel. Jay had gone home the day before.

Nate brought a freshly bathed Rachel in the room. "Hi, Mama. We had a bath, didn't we, sweet pea?" Maddie sat up and smiled, holding her hands out to take Rachel. "How are you feeling this morning, babe?"

"So far so good. I should eat something. Maybe pancakes or French toast?"

"I made pancakes and tea for you. I'll bring it in."

"No, I'll get up. I'm sick of being in bed." She got up slowly, praying for no dizziness. Nate took her arm just in case.

She sat down when she got to the table, Nate offered to hold Rachel, but she said no. "I haven't been able to hold her in so long. I miss her so much." Rachel promptly fell asleep snuggled against Maddie's chest. "It's nice not to be nauseated right now. Hopefully it will last." She had gone to the doctor and was due mid-January.

"Your parents come home today, yes?"

"Yep." She sipped her tea and wrapped her arms around Rachel. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Babe? What is it?"

"Nothing."

"You miss your parents?"

"Not really. I mean of course, but that's not it."

Nate pulled her and Rachel to his lap. "Tell me."

"I'm just so grateful, for her, for you, for this baby. I can't even tell you how much I love you all."

"Probably as much as I love you," he whispered, kissing her gently.

"Probably." She kissed him back, lingering. "You taste like bacon. Do we have bacon?"

"I didn't make you any. It was making you sick."

"Bacon sounds great."

"Would you like me to make you some?"

"Yes, please." She smiled as they stood up and then she watched as he cut the meat and cooked it just for her. Five minutes later, she had bacon. "You're the best husband ever, Nate."

"I know. Don't ever forget it," he said with a wink.

MIDDAY, ON THE TRAIN

Jack berated himself for the coach seats. Not only no privacy, but they were hard benches with no room to stretch his leg and no way to lay down.

"Love, go walk around."

"I'll be ok."

"You're worse than Jay at church. Please just get up for a few moments." He did as she asked and stood. He let out a groan and rubbed his leg. After a few lengths of the train car, he sat back down. "Better?"

"A bit. If we ever travel on a train again, first class all the way." He looked down as she touched his knee. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why not?"

"I can't be completely responsible for what might happen." She raised her eyebrows and moved her hand to her own lap. Jack looked around. People were either sleeping or paying attention to themselves, so he leaned over Elizabeth and slipped his arm around her, kissing her longer than propriety probably allowed. She didn't stop him but she wasn't completely comfortable either. She looked at him when he pulled away.

"Jack Thornton! What were you thinking?"

"Pretty sure you know what I was thinking," he teased with another quick kiss.

"Scandalous!" A woman muttered loudly from behind them.

"I agree," Elizabeth said. "Four more hours, Jack."

He groaned and she laughed. It would be a long four hours.

FOUR HOURS LATER, THE AVERY HOUSE

Maddie, Nate, and Rachel walked in the door and everyone swarmed around them.

"Can I hold her?" Carlie asked. "Please?"

"Sure, Car. Let's go sit down." They sat on the couch and Maddie handed her over.

Jack and Elizabeth walked in. "Mama! Mama home!" Kiki yelled running up to them. Kiki wrapped her arms around Elizabeth's neck. "Mama, love you."

"Hi, sweetie. I missed you so much."

Abbie walked up and tugged on Jack's hand. "Daddy." He was talking to everyone else though and didn't notice. "Daddy!"

After a few moments, Abbie went and sat by herself and cried.

Elizabeth looked around and noticed she was missing. "Everyone!" The room quieted. "Anybody know where Abbie is?" No one did so Elizabeth handed Kiki to Jack and went to search. She found her crying on the stairs. "Abbie, honey, what is it?"

"Mama," she whimpered and held her arms out. "Please don't leave me."

"Leave you?" Abbie wrapped her arms and legs around Elizabeth, holding on for dear life.

"You were gone a long time. I was so scared."

"Oh, babe. Daddy and I just went on a trip. We would never go and not come back." Her tears were breaking Elizabeth's heart. "Baby, look at me." Abbie looked up at her. Elizabeth dried her tears. "I love you so much. I'm glad you're my Abbie."

"I'm glad you're my Mama."

"Sometimes we may go on trips but I'm not leaving you, ok?"

"Ok."

A few moments later, Elizabeth carried her downstairs and joined everyone.

ON THE COUCH

Jack held Rachel in his hands and talked to Maddie. "How are you feeling, Bug?"

"Pretty good today."

"When are you due?"

"January 10th, so I'm about three months."

"That's about when your mom's morning sickness was over, except when she was pregnant with you. You were a challenge."

"That's what I've heard."

"She's lovely, Bug. Her dark skin and dark hair. She looks like you did." Rachel opened her eyes and looked around.

"Hi, sweet pea," Maddie said to her. "Papa's got you now."

Jack smiled and kissed Maddie's forehead. Having his girls around was the best thing, but he couldn't wait until Christmas when Caleb was home too.

"Dad, what is it?"

"I'm just missing all my kids, I guess."

"He'll be home at Christmas. Or, maybe you could go visit him. Surprise him."

He thought about it and that was a great idea. "Genius. You're a genius, love."

THE THORNTON RANCH, DINNER

Maddie, Em, and Elizabeth were going to cook dinner but when Maddie found out it was fish, she decided to let Nate clean the fish with Drew and Will in the barn. Her stomach couldn't handle that normally, let alone being a bit squeamish.

When the three came in, the stench of fish threatened to turn Maddie's stomach. Nate came over to kiss her but she put her hand over her mouth. "Sweetie, I'm sorry but you stink."

"Yeah, your brothers thought it might be fun to have a food fight with the fish parts. I, unfortunately, caught most of it in my clothes."

"And hair," Jack said from behind him.

Maddie handed Rachel to Jack and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

"I better go check on her," Nate told them.

"No, son. You better go home and bathe and change clothes. Then come back."

"Yes, sir," he responded as he left the house.

"Drew, Will, go wash up and change clothes please," Jack told them.

Rachel started fussing so Jack walked around and bounced her. "Mama will be right back, sweetie."

"She's hungry," Maddie said from the doorway. "Want to feed her, Dad?"

"Sure. I've never fed a baby this small before."

Maddie warmed up the bottle on the stove and then gave it to him. He took her in the living room and sat on the couch, next to Em.

"Hi, Em."

"Hi, Dad."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing really." Jack looked at her closely. She had no visible tears but her eyes were pink and she sniffed.

"You, my beautiful daughter, hardly ever cry, so there must be something."

"I'll be ok." She put her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sure you will, Em, but it might help to get out whatever is weighing on you."

She sniffed again and sighed. "I miss Maddie. She moved on and I miss her. Now, I'm leaving for Vancouver in like a month and I won't see her for so long."

Jack kissed Em's forehead. "She's in the kitchen, babe. Nate is home and I have the baby. Go for a walk or something."

"She's busy. I don't want to bother her."

"Em, trust me. She misses you too."

"He's right. I do, Em," Maddie said from the doorway.

Em got up and walked over to Maddie. "I love you, Maddie."

"I love you too." The sisters hugged and cried and then left the room to sit on the porch.

ON THE PORCH

Em felt uncomfortable and silly. She didn't like being so dependent on one person. She didn't know that she was until Maddie got married and now had a baby.

"Em, are you worried about something?"

"Yes, but it'll be fine."

Maddie grabbed her hand and leaned against her. "Tell me. We used to be able to talk about everything."

"Things change."

"What things?"

"We get older and have different priorities."

"True. Like you picking school over Lee?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"Em, are you talking about me?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"I know I've been sick a lot lately, but I've been married for a year. How is it any different than it has been?"

"It just is. I know that this is how it's supposed to be, but I'm struggling with it." Em stood up and looked out over the field. "Nevermind, I guess I'm making too big a deal out of nothing. I'm going for a walk."

"I'll go with you."

"That's ok. Rachel needs you and Nate will be back soon. I'm going to see Papa and Grandma."

Maddie watched Em walk away and then Nate returned. "Hey babe. I don't smell like a fish anymore."

"That's good."

Nate walked over and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her. "What's wrong?"

"Em's upset. Would you be ok if I followed her to the boarding house? We need some time."

"Sure. I'll meet you at home later?"

"Yeah." She kissed his cheek. "Love you, Nate."

"Love you back."


	50. Chapter 50 - Taking Care

THE AVERY HOUSE

Em walked in, her tears rolling down her face.

"Em, what's wrong, sweetie?" Jake asked from the couch.

She walked over and sat down, loving the feel of her Papa's strong, comforting arms around her.

"Why can't things be like they used to be?" He stroked her back and kissed her head.

"Like when?"

Before she could answer, Maddie walked in. Jake looked up, a question in his eyes. "I'll leave you ladies to talk."

"Papa, you don't have to leave."

"I think that whatever is going on, needs to be sorted out with the two of you."

Em wiped her eyes. "Why aren't you with your family?" She couldn't keep the jealousy out of her words.

"I am. You've been my family forever, Em, and Nate and Rachel are fine for awhile." Maddie sat down and grabbed her hand again. "What's going on?"

"I'm leaving and I won't see you for so long. You have your own life that I'm not a part of anymore and I don't fit in there or anywhere."

"Of course you do. Do you know how much Carlie looks up to you, Em?"

"No she doesn't."

"She does. You help her with her homework and you are her role model. She wants to be just like you, I can see it in her eyes."

"Just like me? Outspoken, loud, and jealous of her own sister? Why would she want that?"

"Because that's you. If you weren't outspoken and loud, you wouldn't be Em anymore. We don't want you to be anyone else."

"And the jealous part?"

"What are you jealous of?"

"I don't know."

"I'll guess." Maddie kicked off her shoes and curled up against Em. "You want to go to school and become a teacher but you want a husband and children too?"

"Pretty much."

"You can have both. Ma did. She didn't sacrifice anything for her dream."

"I honestly am so confused right now, I don't even know what I want."

AFTER DINNER

Jack helped Elizabeth clean the kitchen, humming along as he cleaned. She smiled, listening to him. "You sound happy, babe."

"I am." He dried the dishes for her and then sat down, pulling her to his lap. "I would like to go visit Caleb. What do you think?"

"I think he would love to see you."

"Are you ok with me going for a few weeks?"

"Yes, I think it would good for both of you."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you miss him and your grandbabies."

"I do. Too bad you can't go too."

"This needs to be for you, plus, Abbie would go crazy if I left her again so soon."

"You're the best Mama. Our kids are so lucky," he said as he kissed her cheek.

"I try to be."

"Mama?" Kiki wandered in wearing just her bloomers.

"Kiki, where's your nightgown?"

"Up there. Want you."

Elizabeth stood up and picked up Kiki. "You don't need me," she teased.

"Ya Mama. Need Mama."

"You do? Well, I need you too!"

"Me?"

Jack smiled as he heard them continue their silly conversation as they went upstairs. Yep, he had a good life and nothing could ever make him think differently.

Jack went up to the boy's room and knocked.

"Come in," Drew called.

"Hey boys, can I talk to you?" Will, Drew and Jay looked up at him. "I'm going to be taking a trip for a couple weeks. I'm going to Fossil Canyon to see Caleb. I just want you older boys to know that I am relying on you to take care of things around here while I'm gone."

"Dad, can I go with you?" Will asked, surprising Jack.

"You want to go?"

"Yeah. I do. Would that be ok?"

"Are you ok with doing all the chores, Drew?"

"Yes, sir. Jay will help, won't you?"

"Yes, I will help."

Jack looked at Will. The last year or two had been rough on him. He was struggling to grow up, just like Caleb had, and Maddie, and now Em. Maybe a trip would be good for him. "Ok, Will. We leave in two days. Think you can be ready?"

"Yes, sir." Jack nodded.

"Night boys. See you in the morning."

JACK AND ELIZABETH'S ROOM

"Will wants to go with me to Caleb's." Jack slipped into bed and laid back against his pillow.

"He does? Wow, that surprises me."

"Me too. Didn't figure he would want to be with his Dad for that long. He isn't usually very happy with me."

"He is almost fourteen. Most fourteen year old boys don't enjoy being with their fathers."

"I guess if my Dad had been around when I was his age, I might not have either."

"Oh, babe. You probably miss him, don't you?"

"Honestly, it has been so long, I don't remember him that much anymore. That's almost worse than missing him."

"What's important is that you know he loved you." She climbed in next to him and smiled. "He would be so proud of you, love."

"Maybe."

"Sweetheart, I am very proud of you." He smiled at her and then snuggled closer. "Wanna know why?"

"You don't need to tell me."

"I'll tell you anyway." He leaned closer and kissed her.

"How about we finish what we started at the inn this morning instead?"

NATE AND MADDIE'S HOUSE

Maddie walked in after making things better with Em. She peeked into the living room and smiled. Nate was sleeping on the couch with Rachel on his chest, his arm protectively holding her.

She went to the kitchen and cut a slice of pie for herself. "Oh my goodness," she mumbled as she savored the cherries and buttery crust.

"Good?"

She jumped, almost dropping the plate. "Good grief. You scared me."

"Sorry, babe. I'm going to make a bottle for Rachel and then put her down."

"Ok, thank you. I'm going to eat this." She slipped another bite into her mouth. "So good."

Nate stood by the table where Maddie was eating, his fingers running through her curls, waiting for the bottle to warm on the stove. He leaned down and kissed her. "Mmm cherries."

"I'm going to go get ready for bed." She put the plate in the sink and then looked at Nate. "Don't be too long." She kissed him slowly, enjoying the feel of his lips on hers and then walked away.

Nate smiled and took the bottle out of the pot. "Hungry, Rachel? Let's eat so Daddy can spend time with Mama."

THE NEXT EVENING

Jack packed his things in the trunk he and Will were taking to Caleb's.

Elizabeth chuckled. Normally she packed her and Jack's things. "Sweetheart, you need to pack things to sleep in."

"Oh. I guess I'm used to not thinking about that."

"Yes, well, I won't be sleeping next to you and if Will has to, he'd appreciate you having clothes on."

Jack went and retrieved the one pair of sleeping pants he had. "You could take long john pants," she suggested.

"Good idea, babe. I knew I kept you around for a reason."

"Oh, is that the reason?" She nudged him with her foot.

"I can think of something else I need you for." He turned and climbed up next to her on the bed. "I'd look pretty funny kissing myself." He pressed his lips to hers briefly.

"You would." She touched his cheek, tracing his jaw with her fingertip. "You are so adorable." Her thumb touched his lips. "And kissable."

"Mama?" Somehow Kylie had walked in without either of them noticing. Elizabeth rolled over and smiled.

"Yes, Kiki?"

"Mama, want you." She typically sought Elizabeth out when it was bedtime. She liked to be rocked until her eyes just drifted closed.

"Ready for sleep, love?"

"Ya, Mama." She raised her arms to be picked up. "Dada, kisses." She crawled over to Jack and kissed him loudly. "Night, Dada."

"Night, Kiki." Instead of going to Elizabeth, she laid down next to Jack.

"Seep here?"

"No, sweet pea. I'll rock you and then you need to sleep in your bed."

"Pease, Mama?"

"Sorry, babe." She held her arms out to Kiki and she gave in.

Fifteen minutes and two songs later, Kiki was in her own bed and Elizabeth was back next to Jack.

He pulled her into his arms and smiled. "I'm gonna miss you, babe."

"Me too. Two weeks, right?"

"Yes. I need to be back before Em leaves."

She nodded and put her head over his heart. "I should know in a few days if I've missed my monthly."

"I wish I was going to be here. Are you going to be ok?"

"Of course. I mean, I know the chances are pretty remote."

"Elizabeth, try to stay positive."

"I don't want to get my hopes up. I've been disappointed too many times."

THE NEXT MORNING

Everyone met at the train station to say goodbye to Jack and Will. Jack pulled Maddie over to the side. "Bug, I need a favor."

"Sure, Dad."

"Check on your mom in a few days. She wants to be pregnant about as bad as you did and she should find out very soon if she is. Can you check on her? I wish I could be here but I can't."

"Of course. I'll check on her."

"Thank you." He kissed her forehead and Rachel's and then walked over to the rest of the family.

Em watched her Dad saying goodbye to everyone else from her spot next to the depot. She was afraid he wouldn't make it back before she needed to leave and she needed him to be there.

Jack looked over at her and smiled. He walked over. "Em, I'll be back in time. Don't worry."

"Promise? I need you here. I'm already scared enough. I need you to tell me it will be ok."

He pulled her into his arms. "It will be ok. I promise you. You are so strong. You remind me so much of your mother and my mother put together. They are two very strong women who have gone after what they wanted in life. That's what you are doing too."

"I will make you proud, Dad."

"You already have, sweetheart. I am very, very proud of you and I love you with all of my heart."

She hugged him again, not wanting to let him go. "I'll see you soon?"

"Two weeks." He kissed her cheeks and smiled. "Help your ma while I'm gone, ok?"

"I will."

Jack walked over to Elizabeth and grabbed her hands. "See you soon, babe. I love you." Elizabeth kissed him and smiled.

"I love you. Give Caleb a hug for me, and Amy, and the kids. Tell them I love them and I will see them at Christmas."

MIDDAY, ON THE TRAIN

Jack watched Will as they rode across the meadows. He was quiet, just looking out the window.

"Will, you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you wish you stayed home?"

"No. I don't want to be home."

"I'm surprised you want to be here."

"I do."

"Is there anything bothering you?"

He didn't answer. Will watched out the window. Will knew he came across as an angry kid most of the time. He and Drew fought, not usually physically but they butted heads a lot. Will felt lost in the sea of kids. He felt forgotten and maybe deep down he felt the only way to get his dad to pay attention was to get in trouble, so when he saw the chance to get away and spend time with him, he took it.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know." Will could feel the tears coming but he didn't want them to.

"You can tell me anything. I won't get mad."

"I miss you," he said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't ever get to spend time with you. I mean, I get it. There's mom and the ranch and six others besides me, but sometimes it would be nice to be with you and not them."

Jack sat quietly and absorbed what Will was saying.

"Nevermind, I shouldn't have said anything." Will frowned, crossed his arms, and looked out the window again.

"Hang on, bud. I was just thinking. I'm glad you told me how you feel and I apologize for not spending time with you. I assumed you didn't want to."

"Why?"

"Because you are mad so often. You don't even seem to like me."

"It was the only way to get your attention," he admitted.

"You could have just told me how you feel."

"I guess." Will looked back at him. "I love you, Dad." The unwanted tears fell in earnest. "I'm sorry for how I've been acting." Jack wrapped his arms around his almost fourteen year old son.

"I love you too. Don't ever forget that."

THE THORNTON RANCH

Maddie spent the day at her parents house while Nate worked.

"You're quiet, Ma. You ok?"

"Yeah, of course. I get to spend time with you and Rachel." Maddie smiled and handed the bottle to her mom. "I know your dad told you to check up on me, but I'm perfectly fine."

"Of course you are, but you know Dad. If he can't make sure you're ok, he will get someone else to do it."

"Yeah, I know. I'm fine though."

"Mom, if you're not pregnant, I know exactly what you're going through. He knows that."

Elizabeth nodded. She knew all of that. She knew he loved her and he wanted her to be happy. She would be, one way or the other.

THAT EVENING, FOSSIL CANYON, THE JAIL

Caleb locked the jail door and stepped out into the summer evening, ready to see his family. The stage pulled up as he was walking past the telegraph office.

"Hey, Constable!" a familiar voice called from the window.

He spun around and looked. "Dad? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. We came to see you." Will poked his head out.

"Hey, Caleb."

"Hi, Will." Caleb helped his dad down from the stage and Will jumped down right after.

"We've just got one trunk," Jack told him.

"Ok. We live just outside town, but it will be a long walk if we lug a trunk. I'll see if I can borrow a wagon."

"I'll help," Will said.

Jack stepped into the telegraph office as his boys went to borrow a wagon.

"Good evening, sir. What can I do for you?" Walt asked.

"Hi, I just need to send a telegraph to my wife in Harris Town."

"Yes sir. I'm ready."

"To Elizabeth Thornton…"

"Hang on! You a relation to Caleb?"

"Yeah, I'm his father, Jack."

"Well I'll be! I'm Walt. It's wonderful to meet you finally."

"Oh, Walt! Nice to meet you too."

"Dad, we got a wagon," Caleb told him. "Hey Walt."

"Caleb, just met your dad here."

"Oh, good. This is my brother, Will."

"Ah, one of the twins. Nice to meet you, Will."

"You too, Sir."

They finished sending the telegram and then made their way home.

"We have an extra bedroom where you can sleep, Dad, and then we have a bed in the nursery where Lily used to sleep."

"I'll take the bed in the nursery, Caleb," Jack offered. "I bet Will would like his own room for a change."

"Thanks, Dad."

They pulled up to the house and Mason ran out. "Daddy home! Oh! Papa too and Will!"

"Hey bud!" Caleb yelled as he jumped down.

Meri stood in the doorway, sucking her thumb, a new habit she picked up when Lily left. Amy showed up in the doorway behind her, Logan on her hip. It was wonderful to see Jack and Will. It had been about nine months since she had moved to Fossil Canyon.

Jack wandered over, kissed Meri, picking her up and then smiled at Amy. "It's good to see you."

"You too, Dad." He kissed her cheek and walked inside.

"Home Papa?" Meri asked.

"Yes, sweet pea. We're home."


	51. Chapter 51

LATE EVENING, AMY AND CALEBS HOUSE

Jack sat in the living room reading a book while everyone slept. He couldn't sleep.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hi, Caleb."

"Can't sleep?"

"Nah. When your mom isn't next to me, I don't sleep well."

"Yeah, I understand." He sat down next to Jack. "So why are you really here?"

"I missed you. It's been a long time, son."

"It has."

"How's Amy feeling?"

"Good. She has very mild morning sickness with her pregnancies. We're very lucky that way."

"Maddie's had a rough first months, but she's finally feeling back to normal."

"That's good." Caleb watched Jack sitting next to him, staring at nothing. "Dad, are you checking up on me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's nice to be missed but it seems like you have more on your mind." Jack sat forward and sighed. "Do you miss this? The job?"

"I always will but I don't miss the danger."

"It's pretty safe here. Honestly I wish it wasn't so safe. I don't feel like I'm learning anything."

"I want you to be safe, Caleb. Your family needs you to be safe." There was almost a panic in his voice.

"Why are you so worried all of the sudden?"

"Because I love you. I can't lose you. I can't do it." His tears fell and he stood up to stare out the window. "I almost died a few times. It was so hard on your mom."

"Dad, danger comes with the job, you know that. Mom knew that and so does Amy. I'll be careful. I don't want to leave my family either." Caleb stood next to Jack and placed his hand on his shoulder. "I got an assignment today."

"Yeah? Where?"

"Buxton. It's for about a week, starting tomorrow."

"I'll stay until you get back, or until two weeks is up."

"There are a string of bank robberies in the larger towns. I've been called in just in case they need a sure shot but also as backup."

"I guess you got your wish for more danger."

"Dad, if something happens…"

"I'll take them back to Harris Town. I'll take care of them, Caleb."

"Thank you."

"What's going on?" Amy asked from the doorway. "Why are you talking like that? Like you're going to die?"

The men turned and looked at her. "Sweetie…"

"Are you leaving?"

"For about a week. Dad will be here."

"Where are you going?"

"Buxton. Not too far."

"What's the case?"

"I can't tell you."

"You don't want to tell me but I bet you told your dad. Why else would he have said he's going to take care of us? How dangerous is it?"

"I'm going to go to bed." Jack slipped out of the room, having flashbacks of basically the same conversation many years before with Elizabeth.

"Amy, stop please. This is my job. My job can be dangerous and you knew that from the start."

"You never call me Amy. How dangerous?"

"There is always danger. This is no exception. I can't give details, but I will be careful."

"Caleb Thornton, you listen to me." She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "If I lose you…." She paused to take a breath. "Our babies need their father. I need you. Caleb, please come home to us. Please." He leaned down and kissed her deeply, leaving little doubt about how he felt. "Promise me," she whispered as their lips met again.

"I promise."

THE NEXT MORNING

Caleb woke early, made a pot of coffee, and a sandwich from the previous night's pot roast. He packed his clothes, put on his uniform, and kissed his still sleeping children.

"Be careful, son. I love you," Jack said from the bed.

"Love you too. I will."

He met Amy in the living room. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hi." He walked over and pulled her close. "I'll miss you, Ames."

"Me too." She hugged him as tight as she could and then stepped back. "I love you."

"Not as much as I love you, beautiful." He kissed her slowly, taking in how good she tasted and smelled and felt, her soft body pressed against his. He pulled back and then kissed her again, not quite ready to go. "I'll be home soon."

HARRIS TOWN

Elizabeth woke up and prepared breakfast just like every other morning. Em helped her and Drew, and Jay milked the cows and fed the horses.

While Drew and Jay were in the barn, Carrie Hogan walked into the barn. She wanted to see Drew. He was sweet and quiet, unlike Will. She wondered how twins, brothers, could be so different from one another. Drew made her feel like she could do anything and she thought his dark curls made him look adorable, along with his dimples.

"Morning, Drew," she said as he was brushing the horses.

"Hi," he said with a gentle smile. Drew tried not to blush. She was lovely and kind. He wanted to be around her as much as possible, but he wasn't sure he wanted her to know that just yet.

"Need any help?"

"No, that's ok. We're almost done."

"Do you want to go fishing after breakfast?" It was their favorite thing to do, and now with Will gone, she felt like she could talk to him.

"Yeah, do you mind if Jay and Carlie come?"

"Sure."

A few moments later, they walked into the kitchen. "Hi, Aunt Elizabeth," Carrie greeted.

"Hi, sweetheart. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah. It smells really good."

"Have a seat. It's almost done."

Carrie sat down in the seat next to Drew's chair, where Will usually sat. A few minutes later, Drew sat down and passed her the plate of sausage and then eggs. Elizabeth put glasses of fresh milk in front of everyone and then sat down herself.

"What's everyone doing today?"

"Fishing," Drew said. "I wondered if Jay and Carlie want to come?"

"I do!" Carlie said loudly.

"Me too," Jay announced.

"Ok. I'm going to take Abbie and Kiki to see Papa and Grandma then. Do you want to come, Em?"

"Thanks, but I'm going to Maddie's."

"Ok, babe." She took Kiki's hand and Em's. "Let's pray."

FOSSIL CANYON

"Doing ok, Amy?" Jack asked. She was quiet and she looked pale.

"I'm just a bit nauseated this morning. I just need some tea, I think."

"Have a seat, I'll make it for you."

"It's ok, Dad. I can do it."

"Amy, have a seat," he said gently, guiding her to a chair. "I'm going to take care of things."

"Thank you."

Mason and Meri walked out with Logan and Will. "Mama!" Logan said excitedly.

"Hi, babe." She picked him up and snuggled.

"Mama, Will read book 'bout doggies," Mason told her.

"He did? That was so nice of Uncle Will." She winked at him, liking the new gentleness she saw. Will shrugged.

"Amy, does the smell of eggs make you sick?" Jack asked.

"A bit. Go ahead and make them, though. The kids love eggs."

"Egg! Yum!" Logan said clapping his hands.

Jack made Amy toast and tea, setting it in front of her and then a few moments later, he set scrambled eggs with cheese on the table for the rest of them. "Thank you, Dad. I appreciate your help."

"Of course, sweetie." To take care of family came as naturally as breathing for Jack. Now, with Caleb gone he felt the need even more.

"Mama?" Meri whimpered. "Want Lily, pease, Mama!"

Amy handed Logan to Jack and picked up Meri. "Honey, Lily isn't here, remember?" Meri had been struggling for the last two weeks since Lily left. She didn't know how to explain why to a three year old. She just held her, rocking back and forth as she cried and eventually fell asleep. The whole thing had become a daily occurrence and it was tiring.

Jack watched Amy's tears fall as she tried to comfort Meri. The sadness and frustration was hard to watch. Jack put Logan in his high chair and spooned more eggs in front of him. "Tank Papa!"

"Welcome Logan."

He slipped his arm around Amy. "You ok?"

"Honestly, no. I don't know how to help her, Dad. She just cries for Lily everyday. I don't know how I'm going to have another baby without Lily's help. She was my best friend and the kids loved her. I loved her."

"This baby isn't coming for like seven months. The twins will be almost four and Logan will be two and a half. Caleb will help you. As far as Meri, it will get easier. Just give her as much attention as you can."

Amy nodded, but she was overwhelmed and she didn't feel good and she missed Caleb. She handed Meri to Jack and ran out the door to get sick.

"Papa, Mama?" Logan asked.

"She'll be right back. Eat your eggs."

"Yum!" he said with a grin much like Caleb's.

Jack had a feeling it would be a long week before Caleb returned.

HARRIS TOWN

Em walked into Maddie's house and smiled. She heard Maddie talking to Rachel and smelled bread baking.

"Maddie?"

"In here," Maddie yelled from the nursery. She was rocking and talking to Rachel as she ate. Rachel just watched her Mama.

"Morning."

"Morning Auntie Em. How are you?"

"I'm fine. You seem good."

"I am. I feel good, I'm spending time with my beautiful Rachel and my amazing sister. What is there not to be happy about?"

Em loved that Maddie was living her dreams, but she wished her own were that simple. Everyday, she went back and forth between wanting to go to college and wanting to stay home.

"Did you make your decision?" Maddie asked her.

"No."

"Em, I'm telling you, you can have both. Ma did it so why can't you?"

Em knew her typical impatience to have what she wanted before it was time was creeping in again. She fought it everyday.

"I'm supposed to leave in three weeks." Classes started August 15th and she needed to be there a week before.

"You'll be ready. Dad will be home."

"I wish you were coming with me." Maddie put Rachel in her crib and grabbed Em's hand, pulling her into the other room. Maddie washed Rachel's bottle so it would be ready for the next feeding and then made them some tea. "It will be strange being all alone in a big city."

"Yeah, it will be strange without you here."

"I'll miss you." Em wasn't a crier but knowing she would be alone in Vancouver without Maddie almost did it.

Maddie grabbed her hand. "We'll write to each other and you will be so busy with classes, time will go by and before you know it, it will be Christmas."

A WEEK LATER, THE THORNTON HOUSE

Maddie visited as she had promised her dad and so far, her mom was fine. Until one day she stopped by and found her crying in the kitchen as she made lunch. "Ma?"

Elizabeth turned and looked at Maddie, trying to smile but failing. Maddie handed Rachel to Carlie who was at the table and hugged her Mom. "I'm sorry, Ma."

"I'm ok. No need to fuss over me." She blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

Maddie understood the heartbreak when month after month she wasn't pregnant. She subconsciously placed her hand over her now present bump, grateful for the precious life inside.

Elizabeth wanted it so badly but she had also known that the chances were slipping away with each month. She was going to be forty in just a few weeks. She had to remind herself that that part of her life was more than likely over. Two of her children were grown and married with babies of their own and one was leaving for college soon. She had to remember to just be grateful for the wonderful blessings she had and they were numerous.

FOSSIL CANYON

Jack walked back from seeing Walt with a telegram from Caleb. He would be a few more days, but he was safe.

Will walked out of the barber shop, surprising Jack. "Will?"

"Hey Dad." He nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

"Got a haircut, I see."

"Yeah." Will always had his mother's dark curls, at times unruly but soft and shiny. Now, they were gone.

"You look so different. I've never seen you without curls."

"It was time for different." Will needed to be his own man. He wanted to separate himself from Drew, if only in looks.

"Looks good, son."

"Thanks, Dad." He saw the telegram in Jack's hand. "Caleb ok?"

"Yeah, but he's going to be a few more days."

"We leave in a week though."

"Yes. Hopefully he'll be home by then."

They walked in the door and heard silence. Glad for Amy to be able to sleep, Jack started the roast chicken they were going to have for dinner.

Logan wandered out and raised his arms to Will.

"Hey, Logan. Why aren't you asleep?" Will asked him. Logan put his head on Will's shoulder and snuggled in.

"It looks like he wants you," Jack said. "You're good with him."

Will shrugged. Kids weren't his thing but something about Logan made him not care about that. He seemed to need him and that was something Will liked feeling. No one seemed to need him at home. Everyone just paid attention to everyone else. Will fell by the wayside.

Amy woke up awhile later, Meri on her hip sucking her thumb and Mason following behind.

"Hey, Amy. There's a telegram on the table for you."

She walked over and read it and then sighed. "At least he's safe."

"I started the chicken for dinner."

"Thanks Dad." She tried to put Meri down but she just started crying so she picked her back up. "Meri, Mama has to get stuff done. Can I please put you down?"

"No, Mama!" she wailed. Jack walked over.

"Meri, want me to read to you?" When she finally gave in and went to Papa, Amy couldn't hold the tears anymore. She wanted Caleb home. She needed him. She walked back into the bedroom and laid down, holding his pillow close to her face.

She woke up a few hours later to the sounds of laughter and giggling and the wonderful smell of dinner.

As she walked out into the kitchen, she saw that everything was under control. She was very grateful for her father-in-law. "Mama! Tatoes!" Meri said, her mouth full, a grin on her face.

"Yes, babe, I see!" It was so good to see a smile on Meri's face instead of tears. Amy kissed Jack's cheek. "Thanks Dad. I'm sorry about earlier."

"Don't apologize. You were tired and missing Caleb and Meri was upset and hormones. No wonder you cried."

"I guess that is a lot."

"It is. Now, have seat. I'll get you some dinner."

She didn't bother to say she'd do it herself. He wanted to take care of her and it felt nice.


	52. Chapter 52

Caleb came back to town in the middle of the night, took Rabbit to the livery, and then walked home, vowing to work on the barn as soon as possible so his horse could be close.

He sighed when he finally saw his house. It wasn't the house itself but who was in it that caused his stomach to do flip flops. His children, the loves of his life, his beautiful Amy, his father and his brother, all in there waiting for him to return. He needed them after what had happened the week before.

He walked in, grateful the door didn't squeak. He took off his boots, unbuttoned his uniform jacket, hanging it by the door. He walked to the bathroom and washed up and then made his way to his and Amy's bedroom. He removed the rest of his uniform and slipped in behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her still flat tummy.

"Caleb?" She turned and tried to focus. "You're home?"

"Yeah. I missed you, Ames." She wrapped her arms around him and sunk into his embrace, their lips finding each other.

A few hours later, Amy heard their door open. "Mama?" Meri walked over, as she did every morning.

"Hi, big girl. Guess what? Daddy's home."

"Dada? Dada home?" Meri ran out of the room, presumably to tell everyone else.

Amy picked up her nightgown, slipping it over her head and then put Caleb's long johns next to him. "Caleb, put these on." He moaned and rolled over. "Caleb, wake up." He opened his eyes and smiled.

"Morning, babe."

"Caleb, put your clothes on. Everyone will be in here any second." He quickly slipped his pants on under the covers just as the kids ran in yelling.

"Dada!" Caleb smiled and helped them all onto the bed.

"Hi, guys! I missed you." Amy laughed as she watched him being smothered with kisses by all three of them.

LATER THAT MORNING

Jack noticed his son was struggling with something. He figured somewhere along the way something had happened to change him. "Caleb? You ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Did something happen when you were away?"

Caleb looked down at Mason, sleeping against his chest. "I can't really talk about it."

"Still an open case?"

"Its just hard...the assignment is finished but…Dad, I had to shoot someone."

"One of the robbers?"

"Yeah. He had his gun against the banker's head and I was watching him close. He was getting more and more agitated and I told him twice to lower his weapon. He wouldn't listen."

"Is he alive?"

"No." Caleb kissed Mason's forehead and wrapped his arms tighter around him.

"You did what you needed to do to save the banker. Sometimes you can't avoid it. Unfortunately it's part of the job."

"I keep wondering if maybe I could have done something different."

"Did you speak with your partners? Did they have any ideas?"

"No, they said I didn't have a choice. I don't know. I feel like a monster."

"You are not a monster. You are a peace officer. You are supposed to protect people. You did that and saved the banker's life."

In Caleb's head he felt as if he failed. He was trained to not use his weapon in just any circumstance. At all costs, he was to try to avoid bloodshed. Maybe he could have tried harder.

"Caleb, you need to remember that you didn't have a choice. You saved the man you were hired to save. You did your job."

TWO DAYS LATER

Elizabeth waited at the depot for the train to arrive. She had a rough week and she just wanted him home. He always knew how to make her feel better.

As the train pulled up, she stood and tried to catch a glimpse. When she saw Will she gasped. "William Thomas! Your hair! Your curls."

"Hi, Ma." She looked over his head, which was getting harder to do as tall as he was. Jack raised his eyebrows giving her an unspoken hint to have a more positive reaction.

"You look so grown up. Where's my little Will?"

"It's still me." He stepped forward and hugged her, surprising both of his parents.

"You're right and I wouldn't want it any other way. I missed you, Will."

"You did?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Of course. I always want my kids with me. I'm lost without them."

He hugged her again and kissed her cheek. "Love you. Is Drew fishing?"

"Yes, with Carrie."

He ran off leaving Jack and Elizabeth alone. "Finally," he said as he wrapped her in his arms.

"Jack, I got my monthly last week."

"Oh, babe. I'm sorry." He kissed her gently. "You ok?"

"Yeah. I am."

"We'll just keep trying, but you know what you always told Bug?"

"Stop worrying. It will happen when you're not focused on it."

"It worked. She focused on bringing Rachel home and she got pregnant."

She agreed. "It's always hardest to take your own advice," she admitted.

As they walked, she led him down the lane to the stream but stopped before getting to it. "What are we doing, Mrs. Thornton?" he teased.

"Just wanted to kiss my husband without anyone else around."

"Hmm. I like that idea." She smiled and then wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I missed you, love."

TWO WEEKS LATER

Em stood in her room, making sure she had everything she needed for her trip. She wished that she could pack her family up with her and take them too.

Carlie watched from the bed. "Car, you're the oldest in this room now. You get to sleep here," Em said pointing to her bed.

"I'd rather you stayed." Carlie may have been eleven but she knew she was pouting like her five year old sister Abbie.

"You need to act your age and be an example to Abbie and Kiki. They need you now."

"I need you!"

Em knelt down in front of her and hugged her. "I love you, Carlie. Don't forget."

"Love you too."

Everyone met at the train depot a bit later to say goodbye to Em.

Jack pulled her in for a hug, careful not to mess up her carefully done hair. "Bye Dad."

"Bye, Emmy. I love you."

"Love you too." He kissed her forehead and let her go. "See you at Christmas."

Maddie stepped forward after handing Rachel to Elizabeth. "Well, are you ready?"

"No, but I'll get there."

"I'm going to miss you," Maddie told her as she pulled her in for a hug.

"I love you," she said, her voice cracking. Gratefully, the train whistle blew and they heard the conductor say "All aboard!"

She kissed everyone again and then climbed on board, trying to be ready to start her new path in life, but not quite there.

She bit her lip as she watched her family slipping further away from her as the train left town. "I am strong. I can do this!" she told herself.

THE STREAM

Carrie sighed as she waited patiently for a fish to bite. Drew sat next to her on the log, looking every bit the adorable boy she had come to admire. His green eyes, like his father's, his dimples, like his father's, his curly hair, like his mother's. He was polite and quiet, but honest.

"I hope you don't cut your hair," she blurted.

He gave her a grin. "Why's that?"

"I like your curls." She more than liked them. She had been dreaming of the day when she could run her fingers through them and it wouldn't be considered inappropriate.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I do." She nudged him with her shoulder and blushed.

Gosh, she was pretty when she blushed. "Carrie?"

"Yes, Drew."

"We are having a barn dance in a few weeks at our place. Would you like to go? With me?"

"I would, very much."

"Good, I'm glad. My mom swears it's not for Will and my birthday but it's the same day, so I'm guessing it is." He didn't like to be the center of attention, so he prayed he was wrong.

"You know how to dance?" She stood up and offered her hand.

"Well, I've watched people dance. I've never actually done it."

"Let's try," she grinned and grabbed his fingers. He stood up and nervously watched as she grabbed his hand, placing it on her waist. "Now hold my hand here," she instructed.

"How can we dance if there is no music?" he wondered.

"Pretend." She smiled and then pulled him along. "See, not too hard."

"How did you learn?"

"My dad taught me." As they waltzed along the stream, he found himself loving the feel of her soft hand in his and her eyes were more blue than he remembered. When their pretend music ended, she smiled and then kissed his cheek, surprising both of them. "Thank you for the dance."

All of the sudden, the thought of kissing her soft pink lips occurred to him. He had no idea where it came from but it was there. "Drew?"

He shook his head and focused. "Yeah?"

"We should head back. It's almost time for lunch."

"Ok." They packed up their poles and started walking.

ON THE TRAIN

Em tried to read but she couldn't. Across the aisle from her were three loud children. They bickered constantly and their parents didn't seem to care.

"Who wants to play a game?" she asked loudly.

"Me! Me! I do!" they shouted.

"Ok, come over here." She began playing the geography game she had learned growing up with a teacher as a mother.

"This isn't a game!" the red haired boy yelled.

"Yes it is. I played it all the time when I was your age." She continued. "Ok, who knows where Colorado is?"

As they continued, not only was it less chaotic in their part of the train, but the children were learning something and she was teaching. It was a great experience.

When they got tired, two of the three children went back to their benches but the brown haired little girl about Abbie's age stayed. "What's your name?"

"Em. What's yours?"

"Caroline. Your name is M? Like the letter?"

"No, not exactly. My full name is Emma Claire Thornton. My mom used to call me Emmy when I was a baby and then once I grew up more, everyone called me Em."

"Oh. Where do you live?"

"In Harris Town."

"How come you're on a train?"

"I'm going to college to become a teacher like my mom and my grandma."

"Oh! That's why you played that game. That was very sneaky, Em."

"You're right, it was. It was fun though, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Caroline, stop bothering her and come eat your lunch," a man Em assumed was the kid's father said.

"Oh, no bother, sir."

"Dad, can I eat lunch with Em? Please?"

"If she's sure its no bother."

"No sir. I'm lonely. I would really like to eat with Caroline."

"Ok, miss." He handed a sandwich to his daughter and nodded at Em.

THE BOYS ROOM

Kylie walked into the boys room and stared at Will. Will looked up from his book. "Hi, Kiki."

"Will, book?"

"You want me to read to you?"

"Ya, pease?"

He lifted her off the floor and she snuggled up to him and laid down. He smiled. Something that he normally would not have done, brought happiness to him now.

"Will, book?"

"Sorry." He opened the book she brought him, The Secret Garden. As he read, she fell asleep against him. He kept reading for awhile and then he switched and read his book instead.

About thirty minutes later, Elizabeth walked in looking for Kiki. She stopped and watched. "Want me to take her?"

"No, she's fine."

"Ok." Elizabeth smiled and walked out of the room.

"Did you find her?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, she's sleeping in the boys room on Will's bed."

"Really? Ok. It shouldn't surprise me. Logan loved him when we were there."

"Will has changed a lot." They walked downstairs to the porch and sat down.

"We finally talked about why he was acting out. He mostly felt left out and lost. He figured the only way to get our attention was to get in trouble."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. We need to make sure we spend time with him and make sure he knows we need him."

Elizabeth nodded and leaned her head on Jack's shoulder. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"I'm thinking that I failed him."

"That's a bit dramatic. He could have told us how he felt instead of picking fights. He has his own brain."

"I feel bad though. To know our son felt neglected, hurts."

"We can't go back in time. We can only make sure we pay attention to everyone."

Drew walked up and Elizabeth wiped her cheeks. "What's going on?"

"Drew! I love you!" She wrapped her arms around him and hugged.

"Ma! I can't…breathe…"

"Sorry, sweetie. You know that, right? That we love you?"

"Of course." Jack chuckled as he watched her.

"Jack, stop laughing. This is important. I don't want any of my kids to feel neglected."

"Sorry, babe, but you're overreacting."

"Ma, nobody would feel neglected with you two as parents. Love is what you're all about."

"It's true, Drew. I'm glad you feel that way."

He smiled and walked upstairs to his room.

THE BOYS ROOM

Drew sat down and stared into space. "What's up with you?" Will asked him quietly.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Only if you include Mom or Grandma," Will said with a chuckle. "Why?"

"Just curious." At times like this, Drew wished Caleb was around.

"Did you kiss Carrie?"

"No." Drew kicked off his shoes and laid down, staring at the ceiling.

"But you want to."

"Yeah." He really wanted to. She smelled so good.

"Just do it."

"It's not that easy, Will."

"It looks easy and it must be fun or Mom and Dad and Maddie and Nate and everyone else wouldn't do it so much."

Drew laughed and shook his head. "You're a dork."

"You could ask Dad."

"No, I couldn't. It's too embarrassing."

"How about Uncle Travis?"

THAT EVENING, MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

Nate walked in the door and saw Maddie stirring something on the stove and sniffling. "Hey, babe. Bad day?"

"No, I'm fine." She smiled and stirred the soup again.

"You're crying."

"Hormones."

"And missing Em?"

"Maybe." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"You'll see her in four months."

"That's a long time."

"You will write letters and it will be here before you know it." Rachel cried from her room. "I'll get her."

He walked in her room and picked her up. "Hi, sweet pea. I missed you today." He put her down to change her diaper and she smiled at him. "There's your pretty smile." She kicked her legs and cooed as if telling him about her day. "Is that right? Did Mama make this dress for you?"

"Yes, she did," Maddie said from the doorway.

"You did a nice job."

"Thanks. I made it a few months back before we knew she was a girl. I had a feeling."

He laid her in her crib and walked over to Maddie, placing his hand on her ever growing tummy. "Do you have a feeling about this one?"

"No but it's amazing that I could love someone so much that I've never met."

"I know what you mean."


	53. Chapter 53 - Perceptions of Perfection

Jack walked over to the boarding house after his morning chores were finished.

"Ma?"

"Be right down."

"Hi, Mr. Jack!"

"Hey, Cam! How are you today?"

"Good. Gonna see Maddie and baby Rachel."

"Oh, that sounds fun. Give Rachel a kiss for me, ok?"

"Ok!" He ran upstairs and Jack waited.

Charlotte came down a few minutes later. "Good morning, son."

"Hi, Ma. I need a favor."

"Yes, Jake and I would love to watch the kids."

"How did you know?"

"Because you, my love, are nothing if not predictable." She kissed his cheek and walked into the kitchen.

"Tonight?"

"Sure, send them over whenever you want."

"Thanks, Ma. Love you."

"Love you too, Jack."

He headed to pick some flowers and then walked home and knocked on the door. He knew it was nap time so Elizabeth would more than likely answer. "Can I help you?" she asked very convincingly and it threw him off momentarily.

"Uh, yeah. I'm looking for Elizabeth? I'm her date for the evening."

"Her date, huh?"

"These are for her," he said, handing her the flowers.

"She'll love these. They're her favorite." She smirked and kissed his cheek. "You're her favorite."

He returned her kiss and stepped in. "Is that so?"

"Oh yeah. She talks about you all the time. She described you pretty well."

They walked into the kitchen and she filled a jar with water, placing the flowers in it.

"How did she describe me?" He sat down at the table.

"Amazing green eyes, dimples that make her knees go weak…" she sat on his lap and kissed him. "Heart-shaped lips that are perfectly kissable." She kissed him again. "The most wonderful husband and father anyone could ever ask for."

"She's pretty amazing herself."

"Is that right?"

"Mmhmm. Perfect body…"

"Stop. I do not…"

"You finished. It's only fair to let me."

"Fine."

"I think her body is perfect. If that is how she looks after having eight babies, she is perfect." He touched her face. "Beautiful soft skin that smells like vanilla." He kissed her neck and then lips. "Her hair…I've always loved her hair." He ran his fingers through her curls, causing goosebumps.

"Jack…"

"I'm almost done. I love her with every single bit of my heart and I thank God everyday that she is in my life."

"She loves you too."

"Mom?"

"Yes, Drew?"

"Um I was wondering if I could go talk to Papa? I know I have chores, but I need to see him."

"Actually, that's perfect," Jack told him. "You, Will, and the kids are staying at the boarding house tonight."

"Great!" He walked off and smiled.

"Wait, Drew!"

Elizabeth stood up. "Yeah, Ma?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, why?"

"You know you can always talk to me or your father."

"I know but I just want to talk to Papa." He was not asking them about kissing even though they did it more than anyone else he knew.

"Ok." Jack walked up behind her and put his arms around her as he walked back upstairs.

"He's growing up, sweetie. He might not feel as comfortable talking to you as the girls did."

"I guess."

He kissed her ear. "So, I'm cooking dinner for you tonight, babe."

"I can't wait."

"As soon as the kids leave, I'm going to make you a nice hot bubble bath while I cook."

"Really? I can just sit in there and read by candlelight?" She was excited.

"Whatever you want."

"Oh my. This is going to be amazing." She walked off to pack some things for the kids to take but then changed her mind and walked back to him. "Jack, thank you for what you said earlier. That really means a lot to know you feel that way."

"You're welcome. I meant every word."

She kissed his cheek and smiled. "See you in a bit."

THE GIRLS ROOM

"Why go?" Kiki asked Mama for the tenth time.

"It'll be fun. You can all play games and Papa will tell stories."

"Me stay," she told her.

"It's one night, Kiki." Elizabeth put one more book in her bag and handed it to her. "Lets go, sweetie."

They walked out of the room. "Will! Me go!"

He reached for her. "Yes, let's go see Gamma and Papa."

"Good job, Will. I should have had you tell her from the beginning."

He shrugged and kissed her cheek. "Bye Ma."

"Bye kids. See you tomorrow."

Jay walked up to her. "Bye Mama." She bent down and kissed him.

"Bye, love."

Elizabeth walked back in the bedroom and changed into her silky bathrobe and then went to see how the bath was coming along.

"One more bucket, babe, and then you get to relax."

"Thank you. I forgot to grab my book. I'll be back."

"No need, I put it in there for you."

"That was nice." She walked into the bathroom to tie her hair up and gasped. The environment he created was perfect. A few candles lit and scattered around the room, bubbles in the bath, flowers on the sink along with her book.

"Here you go, sweetheart." He poured the water in and then went to leave but she stopped him. She gently took his face in her hands and kissed him slowly. "Mmmm. You are so beautiful, Elizabeth."

"Don't you want to stay here with me?" she asked, slipping her robe off and climbing in the tub.

"More than you know, but if I do, dinner won't get done." He handed her the book. "See you soon."

Jack wished he could have stayed in there with every fiber of his being. It was amazing how gorgeous she was, but he had things to do. He quickly grabbed the victrola from the living room and set it up in the kitchen. He lit a candle for the table and put her flowers there too. The china they purchased many years before was now on the lace tablecloth along with crystal glasses for the wine.

He pulled the pot roast from the oven, bathing it once more in it's juices. He mashed the potatoes and left the rolls to warm. He pulled the fresh butter out of the icebox along with the wine. Finally he hurried upstairs to change so he could be waiting when she came out.

About twenty minutes later, he stood, almost nervously, in the kitchen. "Oh, Jack. This is wonderful." She looked around the room and then back to him. He was wearing his navy suit and white shirt, the neck opened, with no tie. "I feel really underdressed."

"That's the way I like it," he told her with a wink, pulling her chair out for her. "You smell so good."

"It's the pot roast," she teased.

"Not unless the pot roast took a bath in vanilla and lavender."

He brought the sliced meat and potatoes to the table and joined her, holding out his hand. "Let's pray." She slipped her fingers into his and bowed her head.

"Dear Lord…"

VANCOUVER

Em got off the train and hired a car to take her and her trunk and two suitcases to the boarding house. She took multiple deep breaths as she attempted to calm her nerves. The car pulled up in front of the boarding house.

"Are you sure this is the Apple Grove boarding house?"

"Yes, Miss." The sign said so but it looked like a very small boarding house and there weren't apples anywhere that she could see, let alone a grove of them. It couldn't possibly have more than three or four bedrooms.

She shrugged and grabbed her suitcases, leading the way for the driver to carry her trunk. She knocked and waited, feeling sorry for the driver and her heavy trunk.

"Just go in, Miss," he said with a slightly impatient tone.

"Ok." She opened the door and breathed deep. Apples and cinnamon. It was calming. "Hello?"

"Come in, come in. You must be Emma." The young woman, seemingly not too much older than herself, grabbed one of her suitcases. "I'm Laura Grove."

"This is your boarding house?"

"Now it is. It was my mother's but she passed away a few months ago. Now it's mine."

"I'm so sorry about your mother, Miss Grove."

"Just Laura and thank you. Now let's go to your room so poor Mr. Tinker doesn't have to hold your trunk anymore."

"Thank you, Miss Laura," he said with a wink.

Surprisingly, the boarding house had five bedrooms, one of which was Laura's. Em's room was large and it had two beds and two desks, a dresser, a small closet, and a table with a pitcher and basin.

"Your roommate isn't here yet. Her name is Kayla."

"Ok, thank you, Laura."

Em looked around, claimed the desk by the window as hers and started unpacking. There wasn't a bookcase so she arranged her books on her desk. Thankfully she didn't have as many as Maddie. The thought caused pain, making her miss her best friend so much she thought she might hop on the next train and leave. "I'm strong. I can do this."

The door opened and in walked a girl about her age with the blondest hair she had ever seen. It was almost white.

"Hi, I'm Emmy Thornton."

"I'm Kayla Mason." She dragged her trunk in the room and sat on it to rest.

"I have a nephew named Mason." Em watched the girl. Her eyes were very pale blue and she had a few pale freckles across her nose. "Need some help?"

"I got it. Just tell me what bed is mine and I'll be done in no time."

"Take your pick. I haven't decided."

HARRIS TOWN, THORNTON RANCH

The kitchen was clean and the dinner was put away. Jack and Elizabeth danced in the light of the two candles on the table.

She placed her head on his shoulder and sighed. "What's the occasion, love?"

"I love you and I thought we could use a night alone."

"It's been perfect." The wine she had at dinner was making her drowsy. "We should make a fire." She missed sitting by the fire with him. It had been a long time.

He nodded, stopped the music, and led her into the living room. She sat on the couch, her legs pulled up underneath her. She watched him, his bare forearms visible because his jacket had been removed after dinner. The muscles in his arms working, even with the small amount of lifting he was doing, placing small pieces of wood in the fire.

Her fingers were itching with anticipation. Finally, he walked over and sat beside her, his arm pulling her close. "Hi."

"Hey, handsome." She put her head on his shoulder and snuggled in, her fingers stroking his arm that she had been watching. Her mind drifted to all her favorite moments by the fire. The kiss by the campfire before they were even engaged, talking about what their home would look like. When they were engaged and he told her he wanted ten children. Their first night in the house in Hope Valley. The many times they were getting close and they were interrupted. "Jack."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what, babe?"

"For our wonderful life. I've never loved you more than I do right now." A tear escaped as she talked.

He kissed her forehead and then her nose. "I love you too."

THE AVERY HOUSE

"Papa?"

"Hey Drew. I thought you were in bed."

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course." He put his coffee cup down and gave Drew his attention.

"How old were you when you first kissed a girl?"

"Let's see." He thought a moment and then smiled. "Her name was Helen. I was about fourteen, which, if I'm not mistaken, is about your age…"

"Yeah."

"So you like Carrie, right?"

"Yeah."

"Does she like you?"

"I think so. She looks at me a lot, she thinks I don't see but I do. She told me she likes my curly hair."

"Did you kiss her?"

"No, I don't want to do it wrong. It seems easy but what if she doesn't like it?"

"The first thing that you need to remember is to be kind and not too pushy and be gentle. Girls like gentle."

"Is that so, Mr. Hunt?" Charlotte said as she walked in the room and sat next to him.

"Helen liked my kisses and she married me. Grace liked my kisses and so did you and you both married me too. I must know a little bit about what I'm talking about."

"I'm not complaining, Jake. Just don't worry too much, Drew. It will all work out the way it's supposed to."

So Drew decided he would kiss her at the dance. He figured it would need to be perfect so he put a lot of thought into it.

OCTOBER, NIGHT OF THE BARN DANCE

Not only was it his and Will's birthday, but it would be his first time dancing in front of other people and his and Carrie's first kiss. He was stressed.

"Why are you worried?" Will asked from his bed.

"Because I really like her, Will. What if I'm a bad kisser and she then decides she doesn't like me?"

"Drew, it will be fine. Just don't slobber all over her and everything will be good."

Drew whipped his pillow at his twin, hitting him in the face. Will laughed and threw the pillow back.

"I'm going to go now. See ya." Drew adjusted his tie once more and walked downstairs.

"Andrew Thornton, don't you look handsome?" Elizabeth kissed his cheek. "You look nervous."

"I don't like being the center of attention, Ma. I know you said it's not a birthday party but it sure feels like one."

"Oh! Happy birthday, sweetheart."

"Thanks Ma. I'll see you there."

Drew walked into town and then down the path to the church and the Hogan house. He knocked on her door and waited.

Abigail opened the door. "Hi, Drew."

"Hi." He smiled nervously.

"Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

"Carrie is almost ready. How are you doing?"

"Ok."

Abigail chuckled. "You look about as nervous as your father did when he picked up your mom for their first date."

"Thanks."

Drew looked up and smiled. Carrie walked out looking more beautiful than she ever had before. "Wow," he whispered. Her blonde hair was tied back and up off her neck. Her dress, was dark red and hugged her in all the right places. Drew blushed knowing he should not be thinking about that, but he couldn't help it.

"Hi," she said as she walked up to him. "You look really nice, Drew. Happy birthday."

"Thank you. Are you ready to go?"

"Sure." She took her shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders and slipped her fingers in the crook of his elbow. "See you there, Ma."

"Ok, honey."

The young couple walked arm and arm for awhile and then Carrie stopped. She removed her hand from his arm and looked at him. "You ok, Drew?"

"Yeah. Just nervous, I guess."

"It's me. You don't need to be nervous."

"I am though." The shadows created by the moonlight shining through the trees made her eyes sparkle. "You look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you. Why are you nervous?" She touched his hand and squeezed.

"I don't want to mess this up, Carrie."

"Mess what up? The dance? We don't even have to dance, but you're good at it."

"Not the dance. This." He gestured at them. "Us. You are my best friend and I don't want to lose that."

"I'll always be your best friend, Drew. I promise."

"I like you, Carrie."

"I like you too."

"You do?"

"Yes. I have for awhile."

Drew's heart beat faster as he stepped closer and grabbed her hand. "Would it be ok, if I…I mean I was wondering…"

"Please." She moved toward him, her hands on his waist.

He leaned down, cradled her face gently, and then softly pressed his lips to hers. It lasted maybe three seconds but to him, it meant a lot.

She smiled and then reached up to touch his face. "So serious." She kissed him this time, giving him a better taste of her strawberry flavored lips.

When they broke apart, he held his hand out for her to take and then they walked to the party with fingers intertwined.

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to go to a party. He had something to celebrate now.


	54. Chapter 54 - Spilling the Beans

Drew took Carrie to the middle of the dance floor, much to everyone's surprise. He wasn't nervous anymore. Their kiss or kisses had been perfect and now, he just wanted to hold her close.

Her blue eyes staring into his green eyes rendered him speechless, so he just danced and she blushed.

Elizabeth watched her son with Carrie. He seemed pretty comfortable out there. "Whatcha looking at?" Jack whispered in her ear.

"Your son and his girl."

"I think they make a nice couple."

"How is it we are old enough to have two married children with children of their own, one in college, and a couple more old enough to like a girl?"

"Time flies." He kissed her cheek and smiled. "Wanna dance?"

"Actually, I have a better idea." She took his hand and took him into the other part of the barn where it was nice and quiet. "Do you think people will think it's strange that our baby and our grandbaby will only be six months apart in age?"

"No probably not. Why do you care what people think anyway?"

"Mostly I care about what you think."

"I think you worry too much." He took her hand and pulled her close, dancing in the moonlight that shone in the doorway. "Hang on. Who are we talking about? Kylie is almost three and Logan is two. That's a year, not six months and from what I remember, no one gave a hoot."

"Jack, I thought you graduated top of your class."

"I did, why?"

"Think about it, babe. What's nine plus one?"

"Ten." She stared at him and waited.

"Oh good heavens, love. I'm having a baby. In June, six months after Maddie."

"What! That's great! I knew we could do it." He picked her up and spun her around. "Told you we'd have ten! You said three."

"Yes, sweetheart. You were right and I was wrong." She rolled her eyes and moved back into his arms.

"Lets go tell everybody."

"Who everybody?"

"Everybody everybody. They're all here."

"We are not announcing to the whole town that I'm having a baby."

"Why not?"

"Because that's not what we're doing."

"Fine. Let's at least tell the kids."

"We will. Maddie and Nate are coming for dinner tomorrow night and so we'll tell them then."

Maddie held her sleeping five month old in her arms all the while dealing with the kicks and jabs from the one inside her.

"Here, give me my granddaughter. You go dance with Nate," Dee offered.

"Thanks Dee." Nate had been asking her to dance all night. She honestly didn't feel good so she kept telling him no. Now, she figured they should dance at least once and then they could go home.

She walked over to where he was talking to his dad and Travis. "Hey, you ok?" he asked her. "You look pale."

"Want to dance with me before we head home?"

"Sure." They headed to the floor and she winced at the hard kick she received.

"Hard one?"

"Yeah." She wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head on his shoulder. "Ow! Something's wrong, Nate." She had a sharp pain shooting across her stomach.

He picked her up and carried her over to her chair. "What's wrong?" Dee asked.

"She said something is wrong." He ran over to his dad. "Get the doc. Maddie isn't feeling well."

Brandon ran out to find the doc and Nate told his mom to get Jack and Elizabeth. "I'm taking her inside." He carried her up to the house.

"Nate, you're going to hurt yourself carrying me."

"It's fine, Maddie. I just need to get you upstairs." He got to the top and then took her straight to the guest room, laying her gently on the bed.

"Nate.."

"I'm going to get you some water." He ran downstairs and got a glass of water.

"Thank you." She took a long drink and sighed.

Jack, Elizabeth, and Dee with Rachel came in the room.

"Mama," Rachel said, noticing her on the bed.

"Hi, sweetie." Dee handed her to her Mama.

"How are you feeling, Maddie?" Elizabeth asked.

"Ok right now. I had some shooting pains while we were in the barn."

Nate sat next to the bed, his head in his hands. "You were working too much. I never should have let you work."

"Excuse me? Nate Carlin, you did not let me work. We decided I would work."

"I should have told you no."

Jack raised his eyebrows and looked at Elizabeth.

The doctor and Brandon walked in. "Ok, everybody out. Nate take your daughter. I'm going to examine my patient."

"Mom, will you stay?" Elizabeth nodded and sat down next to Maddie on the bed.

Nate took Rachel who immediately started crying. "Mama!"

"Shhh, sweet pea. Are you hungry?" Rachel continued crying as they walked out the door.

DOWNSTAIRS

"Jack, do you have any sweet potatoes or mashed fruit?"

"Lets take a look." Jack was able to find some applesauce for Rachel. "Nate, you ok?"

"Aside from being angry at myself, sure."

"If I know my daughter, it wouldn't have gone over very well to forbid her to work."

"Yeah, well."

Jack sat down next to him and started feeding the applesauce to Rachel. "Nate, I know you're scared."

"Yes, sir, I am."

"We don't even know what's going on yet. It could have just been gas."

"Gas?"

"Sure. Happens all the time. Indigestion is very common during pregnancy."

"Jack, what if it's not gas? What if there's something wrong?"

"That's why the doctor is here. He will figure it out and then we'll know."

Rachel babbled as she ate, making Jack smile. "You make it sound so simple."

"It might be. Let's just wait and see."

"I can't lose them. Um…can you take her? I need to go up there." Jack put Rachel on his lap.

"Ok, sweet pea. Just you and me. I think we need to go get you some milk, what do you think?"

Dee was in the living room. "Hey, Dee?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"We will need some goat milk for Rachel. Would you be able to get us some?"

"Sure, but why don't I just take her with us tonight? We'll bring her back in the morning."

"I'll ask Maddie. She's never been away from her at night."

"Trust me, Maddie needs her rest."

"She can rest here. I just don't think taking her daughter out of the house is a good idea."

"Maybe you're right. I'll send Brandon back with some goat milk."

"Thanks Dee."

THE GUEST ROOM

"I'll come back in a few days. Send someone to get me if you have any more pains, ok?"

The doctor left and Nate sat next to Maddie. "Sweetie, I'm sorry about before. I was scared. I'm still scared."

Maddie took his hand and placed it on her tummy. "Feel that, honey? The baby is ok. I'm ok. You don't have to worry."

"I don't want to lose you. Either of you."

Maddie touched his face. "Nate, I'm not going anywhere." Elizabeth stepped out of the room to give them privacy and to check on the rest of the kids.

"Come lay behind me." Nate crawled over her legs and wrapped his arms around his family.

"I love you so much," he said through his tears.

"And I love you. We will get through this. A few weeks of bed rest and I should be able to get back to normal."

"He said you were doing too much. I don't think you should work anymore until after the baby. It's too much of a risk."

"I won't, Nate. I will be careful and I will stay home." He nodded, snuggling closer. "Where's Rachel?"

"She's with your dad."

"She's going to need to have a bottle soon. Can you get her for me?"

"Sure. We'll need to get some milk. I'll be back."

ON THE WAY BACK TO THE HOGANS

"I hope your sister is ok." Carrie squeezed his hand.

"She will be. The doc is there and my parents."

"It was a nice dance. Thank you for inviting me."

"Thank you for saying yes." He stopped and smiled, resting his hands on her waist. "So, before when we…."

"Kissed?"

"Yeah. Was it ok?"

"Are you asking me if you are a good kisser, Drew?" She laughed, moving her hands to his shoulders.

"No, I just, I wanted to make sure that you still like me."

"Yes, I like you. A lot."

"So it would be ok if I kissed you once in awhile?"

"Yes, it would be fine. My dad might not think so, but we'll worry about that when it comes up." They started walking again. "As far as whether you are a good kisser or not? I don't have anything to compare it to, but when we kissed, my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. I think that's a good sign."

He smiled and blushed, grateful it was dark. He watched as she walked inside and then went home, relief and happiness he hadn't known before making him smile.

The next few weeks were difficult for Maddie. Staying in bed made her tired and restless. Happily, she had many visitors throughout the days so she wasn't bored. Her mom took care of Rachel for the most part but brought her to Maddie for feedings.

"She keeps asking for you, Maddie."

"Thanks Ma. Hi, sweet pea."

"Mamama!" Rachel grinned and reached.

"How are you feeling, Ma?"

"Just fine, why?" Jack and Elizabeth decided not to tell the kids until Christmas about the baby. They just needed to hide it for two more months.

"You look pale and tired."

"Don't worry, Maddie. Everything is just fine." Elizabeth put a clean diaper on the bed just in case. "Nate should be here soon so I'm going to go start dinner."

"Ma, thank you for letting us stay here. I'm sorry it's so much extra work."

"Nonsense. I know you'd rather be in your own home."

"Maybe the doc will let me get out of bed after he comes tomorrow."

"I hope so, but if not, I love having you here." Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment, feeling dizzy.

"Ma, when are you due?"

Elizabeth opened her eyes and smiled. "June, but it's a secret. It's our Christmas surprise for all of you."

"I'll act surprised." She patted the bed beside them. "Come lay down. You need to rest too."

"Sounds wonderful but I need to start dinner soon and…"

"You need to rest."

"Maybe just a short nap." She untied her apron and kicked off her shoes. "Nothing like a feather bed to cure what ails you."

Maddie giggled. "Is it a boy or girl?" Maddie knew her mom usually guessed right.

"I think boy. I just have a feeling."

"Mine's a girl, I think. I keep having dreams that it is, anyway." She rubbed her tummy where she felt the baby sitting. "Either way, I can't imagine loving it more than I do already."

Elizabeth had fallen asleep so Maddie and Rachel did as well, loving the quiet.

Jack and Nate walked in with the rest of the kids, including Kiki who had been at the boarding house. "Hmm. No dinner started. I wonder if Elizabeth fell asleep?"

"I'll help you cook, Dad," Drew offered.

"Deal. I'm going to go wash up. I think she was planning on making a few chickens that are in the ice box if you want to start cleaning them."

"Ugh. Can I change my mind? I hate cleaning chickens."

"I'll clean them," Carlie told him. "If you'll feed the pigs for me in the morning before school."

"Deal!"

Jack wandered upstairs with Nate to find their wives.

They found them asleep with Rachel snuggled between them. The girls continued to sleep for a few hours until Rachel got hungry.

Nate brought a bottle in and picked her up. "Nate?"

"Hi, babe. Go back to sleep. I'll feed her and give her a bath."

"I wish I could help you. I feel useless."

"You are doing what's important right now." He leaned down and kissed her. "Love you."

"Love you."

Elizabeth smiled, grateful Maddie had found someone so wonderful. "He's a good husband, sweetie."

"I know. The best."

"Actually your father is the best."

"Let's just say they're both the best."

FOSSIL CANYON, THE NEXT DAY

Caleb cringed at the telegram in his hand. He was being sent to Vancouver to stake out a new assignment. He was excited, he just didn't know if Amy would be happy or not.

"Babe? You awake?"

"I am but the kids are asleep," she said as she walked in the room. "You're early." It was just past lunch, about three hours earlier than normal. He held a telegram in his hand and suddenly she was nervous. "How long will you be gone?"

"I'm thinking a few weeks." He held his hand out and led her to the couch. "I have a new assignment. They are sending me to Vancouver. I'm going to meet with my new commanding officer and secure us a place to live."

"There are a lot of Mounties in such a big city. Why you?"

"I proved myself here and when I helped with the robberies a few months back. It's time for a new position with more responsibilities."

"More danger."

"Yeah. Good thing is, Dad knows a Mountie in Vancouver. Scott Andrews and his wife Jennifer. They have small children too and I'm hoping you two can help each other. I know it's been hard here without too many people to talk to."

"It has. What about the house?"

"I sold it. I'm using the money to pay off our debt and help us get all our things to Vancouver. This is not a bad thing, sweetheart. Vancouver has so much to offer."

She nodded. "So you sold the house? How long before we need to be out?"

"A month. I will be back in time to move us to the city."

Another move. Another city with more danger and people she didn't know. If there was ever a time she needed to trust her husband, it was now. "Ok. I guess I better make some lists."

"I'll help."

"You don't need to do rounds?"

"Already done. I'm home for the night."

HARRIS TOWN

"Dad?"

"Yes, Drew."

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

"I want to help you run the ranch."

"You already do that."

"After I graduate, I mean. I want my own farm one day."

"It's a good way to support a family. What kind of farm?"

"Pigs and chickens."

"It's a good plan. I think that once you're eighteen, I will sell you a few acres and you can start it, build a house and everything."

"I need a house before that."

"Oh, for you and Carrie, maybe?" Jack teased, but he had been around young love enough lately to know what he was seeing.

"Maybe. Next summer, I am going to work for Uncle Lee in Hope Valley and earn my lumber. I already made a deal with him. By the time I'm sixteen, I hope to have the house at least started."

"I'm proud of you, Drew. I'll match whatever you earn and then help you build it."

"I appreciate that." He wanted to provide for her himself but he knew he would need help if he hoped to get anything started before he was twenty.

"Do you know where you want to build?"

"Yes, but I'll talk to Carrie first."

"Are you two officially courting?"

"Not official, but I know how we both feel."

"Try not to move too fast, Drew."


	55. Chapter 55 - Getting Closer

The doctor cleared Maddie to go back to her own home, but no working at the boarding house and she had to promise to rest a lot. If she didn't and she ended up with more contractions, she'd be stuck in bed until giving birth. That was enough incentive to follow doctor's orders.

Nate wrapped his arm around her waist, helping her into the house. "Nate, you look so worried. I'm ok."

"I guess being a husband and father gives me a bit of cause to worry, don't you?"

"Of course." She set Rachel on the rug and hugged him. "I love you, honey."

"I love you too. Now, I need to head back to work. Mom and the kids will be over soon."

"I know. Please try not to be too distracted. No more smashed thumbs or broken toes."

"I've never broken a toe."

"Yes, well, close. See you for supper?"

"I'll be here."

FOSSIL CANYON

"Come in!" Amy called from the bedroom.

"Morning, Amy. It's just me."

"Hi, Walt."

"Papa!" Mason raced out to see him.

"Well, hello lad."

"Papa, we move!"

"I know. I heard. You're going to live in a big city."

"What that?"

"There's lots of horses and cars and big tall buildings and everyone goes fast."

"Wow."

"Wow is right, my boy."

"Miss Papa."

"I'll miss you too. More than you know, Mase."

Mason hugged him tight around the neck.

"Hi, Walt." Amy walked out with Meri and Logan and kissed his cheek. "I guess you heard?"

"Yes, sweetie. I am the telegraph operator."

"Oh, right. I'm going to miss you, you know."

"You'll be so busy, you won't even have time to miss me."

"Not possible." She rubbed her tummy and smiled. "Hungry?"

"I am but I can't stay. Duty calls."

"Let me make you a sandwich. Roast beef and cheese?"

"I can't say no to that."

HARRIS TOWN, THE STREAM

"What's on your mind, Drew?" Carrie asked.

Drew recast his line and looked out over the water. "I wanted to talk with you about something."

"Ok." He felt her fingers slipping inside his hand, giving him courage.

"You know I want to be a farmer one day."

"Yes, pigs and chickens."

"Yeah. I talked to Uncle Lee and he's going to let me work for him next summer to earn my lumber to build a house."

"A house?"

"For me and hopefully a family one day."

"A family?" She smiled, wondering if he was just going to spit it out.

"Yeah. I have a place on the ranch that I picked out for….the house." He was so cute when he was nervous.

"Drew, is it for us?" He looked directly at her now. "For our family?"

"I hope so."

She kissed him softly. "Me too." She smiled the smile that he loved so much. The one that said she was happy and that she was going to support him. "Will you take me to see it?"

"Yeah."

An hour later, they dropped the fishing poles off in the barn and walked out past the pond. He grabbed her hand and led her. "This is part of T and T?"

"Yes." They walked a bit further and then he pointed. "Dad said he would sell me five acres which is plenty to start. Over here is where I was thinking the house could go and the barn behind it. What do you think?"

"Its beautiful."

"I know we're young but I think it's good to have a plan."

"Yeah, it is." She looked deep in thought for a moment.

"Carrie, I'm sorry if this is too soon. I thought we should talk about it."

"It's fine Drew. I want to work with my Mom at the restaurant after I graduate. Is that ok with you?"

He chuckled and pulled her into a hug. "Of course it is."

"Some men…"

"I'm me. I'm not some men." She leaned back and smiled.

"I'm glad you're you. That's who I want."

THAT EVENING, THE HOGAN HOUSE

Carrie sat on the couch reading her book, or attempting to. Really, she was thinking about Drew and everything that they had talked about that afternoon.

"Carrie, can you start dinner? Your mom should be home soon."

"Sorry, Dad. I meant to."

"You seem distracted, sweetie."

"Yeah."

"So, you'll be fifteen next week."

"Mmhmm."

"Do you want anything in particular for a gift?"

"I don't need anything."

"Do you want anything?"

"I want Drew here for dinner."

"Ok, I'm sure that can be arranged."

She looked at her dad. "I think I am going to marry him, Dad."

"Good. He's a good boy and he comes from a good family."

"And he loves me."

"And you love him?"

"Yes."

He kissed her temple. "I'm proud of you. You'll be a good wife."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

A MONTH LATER, FOSSIL CANYON

Amy looked around the house they called home for the past year. She would miss it, believe it or not.

"Ready, Ames? Walt has the wagon out there ready and the kids are too."

"Yeah. Let's go." She closed the door and locked it, handing him the key to give to Walt.

The ride on the stage was only an hour, but three small children on a stage was difficult. Mason had fun, bouncing around on the seats but Logan wasn't impressed. Meri sat on Caleb's lap, not letting him put her down.

Amy, herself, was hurting being six and a half months pregnant. By the time they reached the train station, her hips were crying out for something soft to sit on.

"Babe, I got us a compartment for the rest of the ride."

"Bless you, husband." She carried Logan and held onto Meri's hand while Caleb carried Mason.

Once they were settled, Amy snuggled up to Caleb on the couch in the compartment. "So tell me about our home, Caleb."

"Ok, but first, I want to do something else." He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her as if he hadn't seen her in a year.

"Wow, Caleb," she whispered, leaning into his shoulder. "I'm not complaining, but what was that for?"

"I know I've expected a lot of you in the last year and I know it hasn't been easy, but I am so grateful that you stuck by me and didn't give up. I would literally be lost without you and the children."

"I won't lie, when I first moved to Fossil Canyon, it was very hard, but we belong with you, wherever that is."

"Yes, you do."

"Ok, now tell me about where we will be staying, please."

He told her but she didn't know what they were really in for until they finally entered the apartment that night.

It was on the second floor of a building, above a barber shop. It had two bedrooms, a bathroom with room for a bathtub, and a small kitchen. It had electricity which was wonderful. It wasn't a bad apartment, just small for a family with soon to be four children.

When Caleb had secured the place, he had purchased a second crib and a bed for the nursery and a bed for their room as well.

"Mama? We home?" Mason asked.

"Yes, baby. We're home. Why don't you and Meri go find your room?"

"Ya, we go." Meri followed her twin into the other room.

"I know it's not much, but…" Caleb started.

"It's just fine, sweetie. We will make it home."

The hired man that Caleb acquired, carried their things in with his help. Amy got the kids ready for bed and told them a story.

"Mama? Where Papa?" Mason asked.

"Papa Walt lives in Fossil Canyon, remember?"

"Love him."

"I do too, love. Maybe he'll come visit us."

"Yay!"

"Maybe, Mason. He lives far away."

"Mama, hold me?" Meri begged. Amy pulled her into her arms, carefully allowing Meri to straddle her belly.

"What's wrong, Meri?"

"Want home."

"We are home."

"No, home there. With Papa."

Amy sighed and rubbed her back. "Mama, up?" Logan asked.

"I can't hold both of you, sweetheart. Here, put your head on my lap." She patted her almost nonexistent lap and he laid his head down, his thumb in his mouth, a habit he picked up from Meri. She ran her fingers through his soft blonde hair to relax him. Mason laid down on the pillow next to her and soon, they were all asleep.

Caleb walked in and smiled. He quietly and carefully lifted Logan up and then into the crib.

Amy sat forward and handed Meri to Caleb and then watched as he laid her down next to Mason. Finally he helped Amy up off the mattress and led her into the other room.

"Do you need to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I need to leave at six." She nodded and went to their trunk. She searched and then finally found her nightgown. It was November but being pregnant she got hot easily so this nightgown was baby blue and short. She tried to unbutton the back of her dress but Caleb walked up behind her.

"Allow me," he whispered.

"Thank you, babe."

As she felt him unbuttoning each button, he bent down and took advantage of the soft skin that he was uncovering, kissing the area on her neck and shoulders and giving her goosebumps. "Good grief, you are beautiful." She blushed as she turned, slipping the dress off and slipping her nightgown on.

She smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt. "My turn."

HARRIS TOWN, NATE AND MADDIES HOUSE

Maddie laughed as Rachel sat in her high chair, banging a spoon on the table. She apparently thought it was great fun because whenever it connected with the table, she let out a giggle that made Maddie laugh even more.

"What's so funny in here?" Nate asked as he walked in.

"Dadada."

"Hi, sweet pea." He kissed her head and then moved to Maddie. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah. Mom stopped by with Kiki and we all ended up taking a nap."

"Sounds good to me. I must have groomed all five of the horses dad owns and then cleaned all the stalls. I'm so happy tomorrow is Sunday and I don't have to work."

"Nate, let's come up with names tonight."

"I still think we should wait to see what the baby looks like first."

"Please? Once Rachel is asleep, we can take a bath and make a list."

"Ok, fine. I'm probably not going to win this one, am I?"

"Nope."

TWO HOURS LATER

"Anna," Maddie offered.

"Anna Elizabeth?"

"Sounds nice. Or Leah."

"Leah Carlin. I like that. My mom's middle name is Rose."

"Leah Rose Carlin is a great name. What about a boy, Nate?"

"I like Joshua or Jacob."

"I like Daniel. Daniel Nathan?"

"Or Jacob Brandon."

After many names were thrown into the mix, Leah Rose and Jacob Brandon were what they wanted.

THE THORNTON RANCH

Elizabeth walked downstairs to the living room to talk to Drew. "Hey, sweetheart. Can I talk to you?"

Drew looked up from his history book. "Sure, Ma."

"You and Carrie seem to be getting pretty close."

"Yes but we are trying to take things slow."

"That's good. No need to rush things."

"Yeah."

"I wanted to give you this." She handed him a little black bag.

He opened it and looked at her. "A ring?"

"Yeah. It was Grandma Grace's promise ring that Grandpa William gave her when they were courting. It's a sapphire with a little diamond on either side."

"You're giving this to me? Don't you want to keep it?"

"No, I want you to have it, for whomever you decide you're going to marry. If it's Carrie or someone else."

"It's Carrie."

"I thought it might be."

"Thanks Ma."

"You're welcome, love." Elizabeth stood up to leave but Drew stopped her.

"I love you, Ma." She smiled, noticing she wasn't looking down anymore. She was looking him right in the eye.

"To the moon and back, Drew."


	56. Chapter 56 - A Time For Family

CHRISTMAS EVE, HARRIS TOWN

"Papa! We home!" Mason shouted as he ran to Jack at the train station.

"Yes, you are. It's good to see you, Mason."

"Want see piggies and chickies and horsies!"

"Soon enough. We need to get the wagon loaded first and then ride to the house."

"Ok. Let's go."

He picked Mason up and put him on his shoulders, getting a squeal from the boy. "Let's go help your Mama, first."

Amy struggled with carrying Logan and holding on to Meri while trying not to fall in the newly fallen snow. "Hang on, sweetheart. I'll help you," Jack told her as he and Mason got closer.

She stopped and waited, grateful, since Caleb had to get the trunk and suitcase to the wagon.

He grabbed Mason and set him down. "Hang on to my pocket, Mason." The boy did as he was told as he took Meri from Amy. "Ok, Mason, Meri, listen to me. I want you to hold each other's hands and then mine. We will make a train so no one gets left behind."

He offered Amy his arm, which she took. "Everybody holding on tight?"

"Yes, Papa. Choo choo." He looked down to see Meri's quiet nod, but her hand in Mason's.

"Ok, let's go."

The little Thornton train walked over to the wagon where Caleb and Will were waiting. Jack lifted the twins in the back and then took Logan from Amy.

"Welcome home, Amy."

"Thanks Dad."

"Ames, you sit up here with Will and I'll sit in back."

"Thanks Caleb." She walked over to Caleb and he helped her climb up.

THE THORNTON RANCH

Em helped her mom, Charlotte, and Maddie with Christmas Eve dinner. They had three turkeys, mounds of potatoes and beans, cranberries, and rolls of course. For dessert, Maddie had made three blackberry pies and one apple.

"Maddie, please sit. You're making me nervous," Em told her.

"I'm actually feeling good today. If I go into labor, I won't be sad and the baby will be fine."

Drew walked in with Carrie. "Hi, everyone."

Carrie let go of Drew's hand and tied an apron around her waist. "What can I do?"

"Can you baste the turkeys?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes, of course."

Maddie heard Rachel crying upstairs. "Drew, would you get Rachel for me?"

"Sure."

Drew walked into the girls room and found her. "Hey Rach. What's wrong?" He checked her diaper. "Let's get you dry and then we can eat. Are you hungry?"

She raised her arms to him, big tears on her face. Drew could see himself as a father. There was something special about the love between a baby and it's parents that he wanted to experience one day.

Rachel had a clean diaper a few moments later and then she snuggled into his neck. He carried her down to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle from the ice box. "Can we warm this up, ladies?"

Maddie took it from him and held it in the boiling water where the potatoes were. "Mamama," Rachel whimpered when she saw Maddie.

"Hi, sweet pea." She held her arms out. "You stay with Uncle Drew just for a minute, ok?"

"Mamama," she repeated.

Maddie put the top on the bottle and shook it. She handed it Drew who took her to the table and slipped it in her mouth. Rachel decided Drew wasn't so bad and stayed without complaint.

Carrie took a peek at Drew feeding Rachel. He looked up at her, catching her eye. Carrie wondered if he wanted to have children one day. She always wanted a big family because she had been the only child, so a handful of kids would be good. He looked good holding a baby. Comfortable even.

"Hi, everyone," Nate said as he walked in the room. He walked over and kissed Maddie, rubbing her tummy. "You look beautiful."

"You're sweet." She kissed him again, "But I look huge."

After awhile, Jack, Will, and Caleb and his family arrived and then Jake and Jenny and Cam came too. The house was full of people who loved each other and that was what Christmas meant to everyone there.

Stolen looks and touches between all the couples. Smiles on everyone's faces. Children talking louder than necessary but happily. It was a good night.

Drew led Carrie onto the porch at one point to give her her gift. "You didn't need to get me anything, Drew."

"Of course I did." He stepped forward and grabbed her hands, intertwining their fingers. "Carrie, I'm glad you came. I know it was loud and maybe overwhelming…"

"But I was with you and that's what matters. Loud and overwhelming is what I want. I've never had a large family."

"Well, you're part of this one as far as I'm concerned." He let go of one hand and pulled out the promise ring. "It was my Grandma Grace's promise ring and I want you to wear it." He took her right hand and slipped it on. "One day, when it's the right time, we'll move it to your other hand."

"Drew! It's beautiful. Thank you so much." She hugged him tightly.

"You gonna kiss her or what?" Will yelled from just inside the door.

"Hush Will!" Everyone else was apparently listening too because they all laughed. "Are you sure you want to have a big family? Sometimes being an only child sounds good."

She laughed. "I'm sure and I'm thinking Will had a good idea."

"Not with everyone watching."

She pulled him off the porch into the shadows where no one could see. "Ok, Andrew Thornton. No one is watching anymore."

"Carrie, I just want you to know…" Before he finished his thought, she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"You were taking too long," she whispered.

"Carrie…"

"I love you too, Drew."

"How did you know what I was going to say?"

"I know you and I can see it in your eyes. Plus, the ring kinda said it for you."

INSIDE

"I think I should come with you," Em told Maddie and Nate as they prepared to go home.

"You don't have to, Em. I feel fine. I don't think this baby is coming tonight."

"But if it does, you'll need someone to stay with you and watch Rachel while Nate gets the doctor."

"She has a point," Nate admitted.

"Ok. Might as well come with us."

Drew walked back in and instantly blushed. "Hey, Drew."

"Hi, Em. Goodnight everyone."

Elizabeth and Jack walked over. "Hey, before you leave, come back to the kitchen for a moment," Jack told them.

Once all their kids were there and staring, Elizabeth smiled. "We just wanted to give you all a surprise for Christmas."

"We're having another baby," Jack told them.

No one jumped up and down or anything. They all just smiled. "No one's excited?"

"Sure, Ma," Em told her. "I think most of us figured it out."

"Maddie?"

"I didn't tell anyone but Nate, I swear."

"I didn't say anything," Nate told her. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Ma, you kinda put on weight," Em said tactfully.

"I thought maybe you've been eating too much pie," Will said with his father's grin.

Jack laughed. "Well, babe. I guess you don't hide it very well once you've had a lot of babies."

"I guess not. Are you all at least happy?"

"Of course!" Maddie assured her. "Aren't we, guys?"

Everyone stood up and hugged their parents, easing Elizabeth's mind a bit.

Nate, Maddie, Em, and Rachel left a few moments later and Caleb and his family went upstairs to sleep. Elizabeth went to the living room and cried.

Jay found her when he came down to say goodnight. "Mama?"

"Yes, Jay?" she asked, her voice full of emotion.

"Mama, please don't cry." He climbed up on the couch and then onto her lap. "Why are you upset?"

"I guess I hoped you all would be more happy about the baby."

"I'm happy. If it's a boy, I can teach it stuff and play games with it."

"What if it's a girl?"

"I still can, I guess. Can't you just make sure it's a boy? I have enough sisters."

Elizabeth laughed. "Sorry, buddy. It doesn't work that way."

"Oh. That's ok. It doesn't matter." He snuggled into her chest, even though he was almost too big to be held. "Mama?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"To the moon and back, Jack Thomas." She tightened her arms and kissed his forehead. "To the moon and back."

GUEST ROOM, UPSTAIRS

Caleb tucked the twins into their bed in the girls room while Amy tried to get Logan to relax. He kept whining and insisting she nurse him even though she hadn't in a few weeks.

"What does he want?"

"He wants me to feed him, but I don't think I have anything for him."

"I could get him a bottle of milk. Not Rachel's, just cows milk."

"Do you want a bottle like baby Rachel?" Amy asked him.

"Ya! Mook." Caleb picked him up and took him downstairs. He set him on the counter while he filled one of the extra bottles they had on hand.

"Let's go sit by the fire, bud."

Logan ran ahead of him to the living room. "Hi, Gamma!"

"Hi, Logan."

"Mind if we join you, Mom?"

"Of course not."

Caleb sat down by Elizabeth and then picked up Logan, handing him the bottle. "I hope you don't mind us using a bottle. He wanted Amy to nurse him but she doesn't have any milk now."

"Sure, no problem."

"Ma? Are you ok?"

She nodded and leaned against his shoulder. "I'm fine. Remember when I used to hold you like this?" gesturing to Jay.

"Yeah. I remember."

"Now, you're twenty one and a daddy. I feel so old." The crying started again. "Am I too old for this again? I want it so bad but is it selfish of me?"

"Mom, you are the least selfish person I know. Wanting children is a part of life."

He kissed her forehead. "I love you."

Jack walked in the room. "There you all are. Hey, honey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head and tried to smile. "Hormones, I guess."

"Hi, Papa!" Logan sat up and waved.

"Logan, time to sleep. Lay down, please," Caleb told him. Logan laid down and kept drinking.

Jack leaned down and picked up Jay. "Let's go to bed, babe."

NATE AND MADDIES HOUSE

Just as Em fell asleep, Nate knocked on the bedroom door. "Come in," she whispered.

"Maddie's having contractions. I'm going to get Elizabeth and Amy. Can you stay with her?"

"Sure." As he walked out she stopped him. "Nate, you're so calm. Are you excited?"

"Yeah. I am." He smiled and then hurried to leave.

Em walked in to see Maddie. "Hey, so looks like it's going to be a Christmas baby, after all."

"Yeah." She breathed, rubbing her belly through a contraction.

Em put a few more pieces of wood in the fire and then put another pillow behind Maddie's back. "Tell me about school, Em."

"It's good. My roommate is a bit crazy, I think. She stays out almost all night sometimes, claiming to be just with friends but I've seen her kissing some guy in the yard a few times. She is going to end up pregnant or kicked out of school if she's not careful."

"Aren't you glad you chose school over a guy?"

"Yes. I want to get married but school needs to be my priority now. There's no hurry. I'm only sixteen."

"Oh!" Maddie gritted her teeth as a contraction took hold, shooting pains across her stomach and down her legs.

"Breathe, Maddie. You've seen Ma do this. You need to relax."

"When you do this, I'll tell you to relax and see what you think." Her tone suggested annoyance but her eyes smiled.

Em laughed. Maddie reminded her of herself. "I can imagine."

Maddie breathed with relief as the contraction subsided. "Em, can you get some towels in case my water breaks, please?"

About a half hour later, Nate, Elizabeth, and Amy walked in with the promise that Dee and Charlotte would be there soon.

Maddie's water broke shortly after and the real hard contractions started, barely giving her two minutes to breathe in between. Amy checked her progress.

"Well, Maddie, you're about seven or eight. Almost there."

"Good." She sighed. "Ma, how did you do this so many times?"

"Because, you forget about the pain once you're done. The baby brings so much joy it overrides the pain."

"If you say so," she moaned as she suffered another strong contraction.

Nate watched as she groaned and breathed. "I'm proud of you, babe. You're almost done." He kissed her temple and squeezed her hand.

When it came time to push, Nate and Amy were the only ones who stayed in the room. It wasn't that Maddie didn't want them in there, it was just that it was a very private thing she wanted to only share with her husband.

"Push, babe," he whispered in her ear. So she did. She pushed and pushed and an hour later, she got her reward.

"Leah Rose," Nate said, tears rolling down his face. "She's here." Maddie kissed Nate, their tears mixing on their cheeks.

"Congratulations, Maddie and Nate. She's beautiful," Amy told them.

"Thank you, Amy." Maddie reached for her, marveling at her dark curls and tiny fingers and toes. "She's perfect."

After a few moments, everyone else got a chance to see Leah when Nate took her out in the living room. The little girl had an aunt, two grandmothers, and a great-grandmother anxious to see her.

"It's a girl," he told them. "A perfect baby girl."

Dee popped up and hugged her son, letting the tears flow. "Congratulations, sweetie. She's lovely." He handed her to his Mom and hugged everyone else.

"How's Maddie?" Elizabeth wondered.

"She's tired. You can go see her if you want." Elizabeth looked over at the door and then back to Nate.

"You're a good husband, Nate, and a great father. I'm so proud of you." She hugged him again and then walked down the hall to see Maddie.

Elizabeth peeked her head in the door, not wanting to disturb her. "Come in, Ma." Maddie moved her sore body to a better sitting position and smiled. "Hi."

"Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got run over by a train, but good." Elizabeth sat down gently on the bed and slipped her arm around her shoulders.

"I'm so proud of you. You brought a beautiful little girl into the family. What did you name her?"

"Leah. Leah Rose."

"Lovely name too."

"Honey, I think she's hungry. She's moving her mouth around like Rachel does," Nate said bringing her in.

Maddie had never thought she'd have her own child the natural way. She had come to terms with that. Now, she couldn't wait to feel the connection with her that her mom felt with her babies. She held her arms out.

Elizabeth got up to walk out. "Ma, you can stay."

"No, sweetheart. This is something you and Nate need to take care of on your own."

"What if I can't get her to eat?"

"Stay relaxed and be patient. Sometimes babies need a little more patience than others. I was lucky with all of you."

Elizabeth left the room. "I'm nervous," Maddie said.

"Just unbutton your nightgown and see what happens." She took a deep breath and did what he said. She uncovered her breast and placed Leah up close just like she had seen others do. Leah started moving around with her nose and mouth so Maddie placed her mouth up closer.

"Come on, sweetie. You can do it. It's right there." She touched her mouth to get her to open wider and that was what it took. Leah latched on and ate hungrily. Maddie smiled at Nate. "She did it."

"Beautiful," he whispered. Nate sat down and put his arm around Maddie, kissing her temple. "I love you."

"I love you too."

After awhile, Maddie put Leah up on her shoulder to burp and then switched sides. She wasn't sure why, but her Mom had always done it so she did it too.

Rachel started crying in the other room so Nate went to get her, figuring she needed a bottle. The a few moments later, he brought her in to feed her.

"Mamama," Rachel whimpered when she saw her.

"Hi, sweet pea." Rachel looked at her Mom and knew something was different, she was just too young to figure it out. "Daddy has your bottle, Rach."

Rachel looked back at Nate. "Dada." She opened her mouth and leaned toward the bottle. Nate chuckled and turned her in his lap so she could recline and drink her bottle.

Nate looked at his girls, each as beautiful as the next. He was lucky but he had a feeling when it came time for them to court, he'd be in trouble.


	57. Chapter 57

Christmas was done and Amy was ready to go to her own home. She was anxious to get everything unpacked and ready because her own baby would be with them in about six weeks.

"I'm ready to go home, Caleb. Can we catch the train tomorrow?"

"I was thinking we could go back with Em since she leaves next week." It was a blessing to be in the same city as Em but she wouldn't have a lot of time to visit with school and everything. "Ames?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think?"

"I want to go home. I have so much unpacking to do and the baby will be here in six weeks. I want to be ready."

"Do you want Grandma to come stay with us? To help out?"

"Where would she sleep?"

"I guess you have a point."

"I just want to go." Amy left the bedroom and went downstairs to make some tea to help with her heartburn. This baby seemed to sit right in the wrong spot all the time.

MADDIE AND NATE'S HOUSE

The baby was now five days old and everything was going well. Maddie noticed that her milk was coming in because she felt full and a bit sore, so she tried to feed Leah every one to two hours to help with that.

She was grateful for Nate staying home and taking care of Rachel. Rachel seemed to sense that Maddie was needing to be with the new baby so she fussed more and wanted to be held more.

"Nate? What do you think if I were to nurse Rachel too?"

"Do you want to?"

"As long as I feed Leah first, I think it would be fine and I think Rachel would like it."

"Maybe just at night before bed? That way you get to spend time with her after Leah is asleep."

"Yeah. I think I want to see how that goes."

A few hours later, Nate put Leah in her cradle and then brought Rachel to Maddie.

Rachel snuggled up to Maddie and sighed. "Sweet pea? Let's try something new tonight." She had purposely only fed Leah on one side so the other could be saved for Rachel. She laid Rachel on her side and moved her close and she immediately started nursing, her jaw stronger than Leah's. "You like that?" Rachel smiled up at her Mama.

Nate felt a bit jealous. He liked feeding Rachel. It was something he could do to bond with his daughter. What if Rachel decided she didn't want bottles anymore?

"Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong? You look upset."

"Nothing." He stood up and walked out of the room.

He felt so selfish and that was worse than his jealousy. Of course she should feed her babies. She deserved to bond with them.

He needed to figure out a different way to bond with them. There had to be a way since most fathers didn't feed their children.

THE NEXT DAY, CARLIN RANCH

"Nate, what is bothering you? You have been in your own head all day."

"Sorry, dad."

They stopped to eat lunch. "Everyone sleeping ok at home?"

"No, but that's nothing new."

"It's an adjustment with a new baby at home."

"Yeah."

"Nate, you can tell me or ask me anything."

"Maddie is feeding Rachel now too."

"Ah yes. Feeling a bit jealous?"

"Yes. I love feeding Rachel. I feel like I'm losing the connection we have."

"You just need to think of different ways to connect. I never fed you or your siblings."

"What did you do?"

"Don't you remember me singing to you to put you to sleep? I also read to you and played games. With Evie, she just likes to snuggle in the mornings. You just find what works for you and your kids." Brandon stood up. "Oh and talk to Maddie."

THE THORNTON RANCH HOUSE

Caleb found Amy in their bedroom packing. "Ames?"

"I'm almost done packing. I got tickets for tomorrow."

"Ok. Is Em going too?"

"Not that I know of."

"I don't like her traveling alone, that far."

"She has done it before. She'll be just fine, Caleb."

"Ames, what's happening? You're acting strange. You usually like being home with family."

"Caleb, we just moved a few weeks ago and then came here. I just want to be home. It's making me tired just thinking about traveling with the kids and then unpacking and then having a baby. I don't know anyone. I don't have a doctor yet. It's just all too much." Her voice got higher at the end just before she burst into tears.

He stepped forward and held her against his chest. "Ames, shhh. It's ok. Everything will be just fine."

They heard a knock at the door. "Come in."

Charlotte peeked her head in, Logan on her hip. "Hi there. I'm sorry to interrupt."

"That's ok, Grandma," Amy told her, wiping her eyes.

"I've been thinking I would go back to Vancouver with you and help out until a few weeks after the baby's born."

"I would love that but we don't have an extra bed for you."

"There is a hotel down the street," Caleb said.

"Great and Jake can come too."

"Grandma, that will be so expensive to stay for two months in a hotel," Amy told her.

"Oh, sweetheart, you know money isn't an issue. Family is so important and I know you will need help."

"I do, so much."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

"Ok, I'll tell Jake. We will follow in a few days."

Amy threw her arms around Charlotte. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, dear. Now travel safe and we'll see you soon."

THE BARN

Drew worked in the stalls, cleaning and scrubbing. He was so involved he didn't hear anyone approach.

"Drew?"

He looked up, trying not to fall over. "Hey, Carrie."

"Hey, need some help?"

"That's ok. No need for both of us to smell like a horse." She giggled.

"I don't mind. Plus, this way we'll get to spend time together."

He looked up and saw she was completely serious. He stood up and handed her a pitch fork. "You can start in Bella's stall." She smiled and kissed his cheek. As she started to walk away, he grabbed her hand and bent down to kiss her. "Thank you. I'm glad you're here."

"I want to help you, Drew. Now and at our own farm one day. You're not alone in this."

He pulled her close and hugged her. He was very happy she felt that way. It was nice to know he had her support. "You're on my side?"

"Of course I am." She loved him and wanted to be there for him always. "I always will be."

He stared into her beautiful eyes and smiled, his hand touching her cheek. "I love you, Carrie Hogan."

"I know and I'm glad you finally said it." She knew he was quiet and shy and those qualities were endearing, but it felt wonderful to hear the words directly from him. "I love you back."

THE NEXT DAY

Caleb, Amy, and their kids loaded into the compartment they would travel home in. Mason immediately ran into the bedroom to find his bed and jump on it, even though he knew he shouldn't. Meri followed but just watched from the doorway, her thumb in her mouth.

Logan whimpered from Amy's arms. "Papa! Want Papa."

The poor boy didn't understand why they had to keep saying goodbye to people he loved. Lily left and then they moved from Fossil Canyon to Vancouver so Papa Walt was not with them. Now, they wouldn't see Papa Jack or Gamma.

"Logan, guess what? Papa Jake and Gamma Charlotte are going to come stay with us at our house. Isn't that fun?"

"Want Papa."

She sighed and then sat on the couch, hoping he would snuggle up and go to sleep. Caleb walked in and sat down next to her. "Dada, mook?"

"You want milk?"

"Ya, pease?"

Caleb rang for the porter and grabbed Logan's bottle out of the bag by the door. A few moments later, Caleb handed the bottle to the porter requesting milk for Logan.

While they were waiting, they heard a thud from the bedroom and then Mason let out a loud cry. "Daddy! Mase fall down, come!" Meri told him, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bedroom.

Caleb sat on the bed holding Mason. "Daddy hurt!" Mason had fallen off the bed and bumped his head on the wall separating the two rooms. "Ow, Daddy!"

"Were you jumping on the bed?"

"Ya." Mason put his head on Caleb's shoulder.

"This is why we tell you not to jump on the bed. You could get hurt."

"I sorry."

Caleb took him and Meri to the living room and sat down.

"What happened?"

"He was jumping on the bed and he fell off."

"Mason Thornton! You know better," Amy scolded.

"Ya, Mama. Sorry."

"Mason, when Mama tells you not to do something, you listen."

"Ya, Mama."

"Ok, it's time for everyone's nap. Give me and Daddy kisses and then you and Meri go lay down."

The porter brought the milk for Logan and Amy laid him in the big bed with Mason and Meri, shutting the door part way.

Caleb held his arm out, offering to hold Amy. "Come here, Ames." She smiled and waddled over to the couch, laughing when he directed her to his lap.

"I'm too heavy for you to hold, babe."

"Nonsense. Perfect fit." She snuggled against him. "You've always fit right here in my arms."

He rubbed her tummy, wanting a kick from the baby.

"I think he's asleep." They sat quietly waiting, finally chuckling when Caleb pushed on her tummy and he received a swift kick to his hand.

"Thank goodness for naps." She sighed and closed her eyes, letting the rocking motion of the train put her to sleep in her husband's arms.

THAT EVENING

The Thorntons arrived home tired and the kids were grumpy.

Caleb started heating water for baths right away and Amy grabbed everyone's nightshirts to wear after the bath. She decided all three would take a bath at the same time.

"No, Mama! I don't want to!" Meri cried, a stubborn look on her face.

"Tough, Meri. You all need a bath and I'm not spending all night bathing you when I can just do it all together."

"Mama, hungry," Logan told her.

"We're going to eat right now, bud."

She put all three of them in their chairs and started some eggs and toast they had picked up on their way home. "Caleb, we need groceries."

"I'll go in the morning. I don't have to report to work until noon."

"Thank you, babe."

Amy put eggs on three small plates and toasted the bread, putting butter on each slice. As she slid the plates in front of the kids, the boys ate, but Meri started crying. "Don't want eggs." She pushed the plate away and leaned her head on the table, sobbing.

Caleb saw Amy was losing patience. He walked over and picked up Meri. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Night night Daddy." She buried her head in his neck and closed her eyes.

"She needs a bath, Caleb."

"I'll get her up early and give her a bath and take her to get groceries. How's that?"

"Fine. I don't have the energy to come up with a different plan."

Caleb walked up to her and touched her face. "You go to bed. I'll give the boys baths." He kissed her gently and smiled. "Its ok. I'm here."

"I don't know if I can do this, Caleb. If three babies test my patience so much, what will four do?"

"You'll do fine. Make sure you rely on Jennifer, sweetie. She's just next door."

Next door wasn't really next door. They were about two blocks away. City blocks. Amy knew she also needed to find a doctor and unpack and clean. She was just tired.

"Ames, you head to bed. I'll be in after awhile."

She nodded and stood on her toes to kiss him. "I love you, Caleb."

"I love you too."

ABOUT AN HOUR LATER

Caleb slid in bed next to his wife. She seemed to be asleep but moved over against him, her belly resting against his side. He smiled when he felt a kick. He worried about her some days. She seemed to be getting overwhelmed more and more, the kids challenging her patience and worries creeping up on her. He wished she didn't have to deal with his absence but on the other hand, he left and came home in the same day. They weren't living apart.

"Caleb?" she mumbled.

"I'm here, sweetheart." He put his arm around her and kissed her.

"Caleb, I'm scared."

He looked down at her. "Of what?"

"I don't know. Maybe that's not the right word. I just…nevermind."

"Tell me, Ames. I can't help you feel better if I don't know how you're feeling."

She struggled to sit up and then when she finally did she sighed. "I feel lonely I guess."

"Because we're living in a new place?"

"Its silly. Nevermind."

"Honey, stop doing that. Don't discount your feelings. They are important." She sniffed and rubbed her tummy. "Now, why are you lonely?"

"When you leave, I miss you so much. It feels like I can't concentrate on anything else."

"I miss you too, Ames."

"I feel like I should be able to handle not seeing you for the day but it just makes me grumpy and it must affect the kids because they are too." He didn't know what to say. "I told you it was silly." She sighed and rolled over away from him.

He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her back over. "Its not silly. Do you know how much I love you, Ames? I realize it when I leave you all snuggled up under the warm blankets in the mornings where I would love to stay. I realize it when I look in Meri's eyes and realize she is just like you and looks just like you. I've loved you for so long, it feels like forever."

TIME FLEW BY IN EVERYONE'S LIVES AFTER THAT. BABIES WERE BORN, MARRIAGES WERE PERFORMED. SADNESS, HAPPINESS, AND LOVE WERE ALL EXPRESSED AS DEEPLY AS ONLY THE THORNTONS AND THEIR EXTENDED FAMILIES COULD.

THE END OF THIS STORY MAY SEEM ABRUPT, BUT THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME IN THIS THIRD JOURNEY IN THEIR LIVES. I DO HAVE IDEAS FOR A FOURTH INSTALLMENT.

PLEASE LOOK FOR CHAPTER ONE IN "Walking a New Path." IT'S SET ABOUT FOUR YEARS AFTER THIS CHAPTER ENDS.


End file.
